Gigs from Hell
by ReikiConvulsion
Summary: Taira never thought he'd change his opinions just by joining a band. He thought close friends weren't needed to be happy. Now in Beck he sees things differently. But a significant other? Until she came around it was the last thing on his mind. R&R please!
1. An Endless Sea of Complaints

**Author's Note**: Well, here is my contribution to the Beck fandom. It does contain OCs, some intentional, some random but such is to be expected with Chiba's uncanny ability to find fights everywhere he goes. Regardless I hope you enjoy this. The first chapter is in Taira's point of view and I made sure to have a little bit of fun with his mind since I find the most serious people on the outside turn out to be completely different on the inside if you know what I mean. Have fun. Laugh a little.

**EDIT:** Originally this story was called Nothing Says Love Like a Dead Mouse. It is now and will stay as Gigs from Hell.

**Story Summary**: Taira never thought he'd change his opinions just by joining a band. For the longest time Taira thought close friends weren't needed to be happy. Now in Beck he sees things a little differently. But a significant other? Until _she_ came around it was the last thing on his mind. Does she have the power to influence his opinion?

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain random people.

**Warnings**: Um, Chiba is in this story (no duh) so there will be a bit of swearing and otherwise profane scenes involving...well, you'll just have to see.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 1 – An Endless Sea of Complaints

* * *

It's not often that I become annoyed or even silently infuriated. But, when I am I tend to continuously play with my bleached blonde hair, twisting and turning the short locks in my fingers like a high school girl. I can swear that some of it is actually falling out due to stress. I blame it partly on myself but mostly on Ryusuke.

Especially since Ryusuke, being his high and mighty self, had decided it would be a good idea to dump noodles on the vocalist for one of the most violent bands in our district.

Yeah. He actually thought it was a _good_ idea.

What I am referring to is an incident involving my band mate that happened less than an hour ago. The band I'm in as the ever funky bassist had tried unsuccessfully to score a gig opening for this metal band called 'Hype'. That little meeting in a backwash restaurant with the band members of Hype had not gone well in my opinion. Ryusuke, lead guitarist and primary songwriter for our band, had gotten aggravated by Hype's singer and stated in his annoyingly calm monotone voice that the noodles on the menu tasted delicious…before dumping a bowl on the guy's shaved head.

Needless to say everyone wasn't expecting that little mishap. Hype's men were absolutely flabbergasted. One even started choking and turning blue. Chiba, our punk vocalist who coincidentally named the band after Ryusuke's less than normal dog Beck, started snickering. All anarchy broke loose after that. I tried to salvage the situation with peaceful words up until the point where Koyuki, our innocent and warm-hearted rhythm guitarist and backing vocalist, got a blow to the face by a guy two or three times his size. Luckily he was the only casualty. Ryusuke got off without a scratch on his perfectly unmarred face. He owes Koyuki big time since it was Yukio who rashly pushed him aside and took the hit. My respect for the little guy went up tenfold after that.

I make like a city transit bus and take Chiba, Ryusuke and Koyuki home before parking our band's junky van on the street outside my apartment building. Only it isn't really just my apartment anymore. Ever since Saku ran away from his parents on the other side of Japan to play in the band he has stayed with me as a roommate who paid half the rent. He's said numerous times that it's only temporary but I don't mind the company or the fact that I only have to pay half the bill every month.

Saku, which is short for Sakurai, is about to get out of our van when I toss the keys onto his lap. He looks at me questionably and I announce that I'm going for a walk. "Don't wait up for me to come back if you need to do something."

"Okay, so how do I know if you've been mugged?" Saku jokes, grinning despite the events of the last hour or so. He had gotten over the disappointment on the way back by saying that while Hype has a lot of followers they aren't really all that great musicians and wouldn't go far in the long run. He is pretty darn analytic like that.

I rummage through the front pockets of my cargo pants and, after throwing a wad of crumpled receipts on the dash, produce my dinged up cell phone many models out of date. Then I wave it in front of Saku's face to make my point clear and exit the vehicle. Through the window Saku smiles and takes the keys knowing that sometimes I need a bit of time to calm myself down even if it doesn't show on the surface.

Zigzagging my way through streets full of afternoon crowds I come to the neighbourhood's park, a quiet little grove of trees with several scattered benches. There is a bus stop covered in graffiti at the far end of the park and beyond that is more urban sprawl. The park is more or less disserted save for a couple walking hand in hand with their backs to me.

I snort; I can't understand how love works since I'd never met someone whom shares my fondness for the bass guitar and who also understood that it isn't just a hobby but a lifestyle. It's like Ryusuke always says, 'Girls are great except when they make moves to tie you down.' Now I knew exactly what he was implying, however, all the times I'd heard Ryusuke say it I'd always find myself sniggering because that meant he'd been bitch slapped earlier in the day. One could always tell. If the words weren't enough of a conviction the ugly red hand mark on one, sometimes both of his cheeks were the giveaway.

By the time I had sat down on a bench and breathed deeply for the first time since 'the incident' I had realized I'd forgotten my cigarettes in the van. Damn it. Why did I have to be born so scatterbrained when it came to simple things? Complicated things were fine like plotting how to get the band gigs or increase our popularity but silly no-brainer things like remembering to water the one cactus plant Saku brought home months ago or doing the laundry were always getting me. How the hell do you remember when to give a cactus water when two thirds of the year the damn thing doesn't even need it? More importantly, why the hell did we even keep the cactus? Oh, yeah, because Saku got it for free and we are cheap people who don't spend money on frivolous things. That's right.

All this stressed out thinking actually serves to bring out the devil inside of me. Not like Naruto's fox thing on that anime show that Saku sometimes watches but the little voice that everyone has that influences their worst decisions. That little heathen devil, the one that gives out unwanted opinions. Right now the peculiarly monotonous voice is saying something along the lines of: _'Did you make a mistake joining Beck? You guys try your best all the time but Lady Luck apparently doesn't favour you boys.'_

"No kidding," I mumble.

My devil prods me further, _'Especially Koyuki and Ryusuke, those guys seem to have a multitude of problems…you've been screwed over one too many times. Are you okay with that? Wouldn't it have been easier to stick with NC-17? At least they didn't have a psycho bunch of enemies. Right, Taira?'_

I sigh and cradle my head in my hands. I rub my temples whenever this voice chooses to make itself known and right now I'm rubbing away double time seeing as I'm so distraught. Stupid little voice, shut up!

Yelling internally at a figment of my imagination wears me out. So much so that I don't feel like moving from my bench despite the buttons on my cargo pants digging into my butt. People pass me by without a second glance. A few stop to use the benches around me to rest or eat. Some admire the birds flying overhead chattering an endless sea of complaints to their companions. A lot like people, I figure.

I continue to sit there thinking about all the rough times Beck has gone through in the past year or so. That is without doubt a lot of crap I don't particularly like thinking about but my brain (or the voice/devil) circulates it anyway. Like an incessant rotation of shit where the more I thought about it the more down I got.

I feel slightly drowsy the more I sit there, but maybe the all-night marathon practice in the studio the night before is finally catching up to me. Rubbing my eyes I will myself to stand up. I'm fumbling in my pocket for my cell phone to remind Saku to do the dishes when a voice cuts through the raucous park air.

"Ahh, I was almost finished too."

I look around and meet the hazel eyes of the speaker. She holds a coil-bound sketchbook in her hand with a pencil sitting inside the coils. Her smile is bright and more of a considerate half smile than a full out grin.

"Are you talking to me?" I could've smacked myself as I realize with a quick glance that I am the only one around. Of course she's talking to me.

She laughs my moment of bêtise off lightly, "I seem to be now."

Slightly smiling I find myself walking over to see what see what she'd been drawing. I am a curious cat so I take the liberty of sitting down next to her to peer at the drawing in her hands. I almost burst out laughing when I see it is a sketch of me, sitting on the bench looking very sorry for myself. I hold it in though by turning away but when I take in the picture with another glance I realize the picture is honestly first-class and realistic. Except for the trees surrounding me I note with a smile. They are unfinished and mere outlines still.

"Do I come across as a brooding individual?" I ask her cheekily as I read the title of the piece that had been scribbled on the bottom of the page, 'Sad Man'. She has yet to date and sign it.

"Just someone who's had a bad day, that's all," she replies with a humouring smile, sliding the pencil out of the coils and dropping it into the open backpack beside her. She flips her sketchbook to a random page with a picture of a girl smiling, also sketched in vivid detail. I stare down; my mouth open in what would've been an embarrassing moment only my mind is blank with awe. Sure I'd never been heavily into visual arts but I can tell this person has a talent for making pictures appear like they were photographs. "And this would be someone who had a good day." She laughs again, a cheerful breezy sound.

I can't help but laugh too, the expression of innocence and joy on that girl's face reminds me of Koyuki when Ryusuke first announced that he would be part of Beck. I have to hand it to her, she's good at capturing others' expressions.

It then occurs to me that she's a complete stranger I know nothing about. But, unlike the people I exchange snippets of conversation with like a clerk or an old lady that I happen to be crossing the road beside and would forget about forever this girl had become subjective to me. She had drawn a picture of _me_ and that is a tiny bit too personal to let slip away into the back of my mind into obscurity to feed the devil.

"My name's Yoshiyuki Taira by the way," I tell her, truly taking her in for the first time. She has wavy brown hair that flips upwards in arcs (only slightly longer than Ryusuke's I observe) and when she stands up a second later I agnize that she is just a scant few inches shorter than me. She isn't particularly skinny but she is by no means fat either. All in all average I conclude happily. Secretly – or not so secretly depending on how you look at it – I dislike the groupies that Ryusuke covets. In my opinion they are extremely annoying to be around. It's almost impossible to have a normal conversation with any of them.

She drops her sketchbook into the backpack and zips the main pouch up. "Well, it's nice to meet you Taira." Then she slings the backpack over her shoulder and with a slight scowl stares at the bus coming up the road in the distance. "Could that…? Oh shit, I think that's my bus! I'm so sorry, see ya around, Taira!"

I stand stalk-still and watch her sprint to the bus stop on the other side of the park. I perceive she could certainly run fairly fast when she wants to. She is half way there and the bus is just stopping to pick up people when I witness something shiny, catching the afternoon sun's rays fall from her bouncing backpack. Being intent on making the bus she doesn't notice this minor disturbance.

"Hey! Hey, uh, girl whose name I don't know! You dropped something!" I shout. The girl shows no signs of having heard me. In an instant she's boarding the bus with several others and by the time I'd reached the item on the ground the bus is speeding out of sight bound for downtown.

I stoop to pick the object out of the dirt, turning it over in my hands. It's a red iPod, road worn and scratched with one lone deep gouge in the middle of the screen. I instantly feel bad for the girl, she's probably going to freak out when she realizes she's lost it. I knew if it were me I'd be really depressed. Music is my life.

Her headphones aren't attached to the iPod; I figure they're still half in her backpack, dangling, and would be quite an unpleasant surprise when she found out that her headphones had made it but the iPod holding her wealth of music had not.

As I walk back to my apartment I turn on the music player and begin to browse through her songs expecting to be hit with the top 40 J-pop tunes. But, as my eyes scan the list of artists it turns out she listens to everything from rap, heavy metal and classic rock to soul, R&B and blues. Heck, I browse down to the near bottom of the list and spot that a couple 'artist names' were in fact serving as categories for random material. There were 'Various Artists', 'Various Guitarists' and even 'Various Bassists'. I'd never really gone through someone's iPod before (it's actually kind of an invasion of privacy for me) but even I can tell she is really into music. As much as I am…okay, maybe not.

She has far fewer songs on her iPod than I do, only around 1,600, but I guess that is to be expected since it's only an 8GB iPod. Amide the mix I tend to notice that there were not many Japanese songs but instead bands I have never heard of until now. I will have to grab my headphones and listen to a few when I get back.

* * *

Sakurai is instantaneously suspicious when I come through the door, "Talk about a transformation. What's got you so happy?" He squints at me in suspicion, "Don't tell me that you scored with someone! And in the middle of the day too!"

I start to laugh but the sound quickly dies in my throat when I spot the towering pile of dishes in the sink. Saku follows my gaze and I catch him taking a huge gulp of air. I had done the dishes for the past week since he would eat and then run off to see his girlfriend. He leaves a mess everywhere. That or I'm just overly clean and organized.

"Oh, er, yeah, those, well, I'll get right on those, no need to crash your mood," he stutters, springing to the sink like he's some kind of wind-up bunny rabbit. Why rabbits are crossing my thoughts is beyond me. Must be Saku's comment lurking in the back of my mind.

Continuing to the next room in the tiny apartment I step around Saku's gangly drum set carefully to get to my bass sitting in all its glory in its guitar holder stand thing. Once again I'm glad Saku only plays with one kick drum. If he had another we would not have had space for it anywhere inside my dingy apartment.

I pick my bass up and eye it hungrily. I haven't touched my baby since early this morning. Most guys have a car that they lust over but not me. I have a bass which in my opinion is many times cooler than any polluting-the-environment car. It's like my girl, my bass. Like Jimmy Page once said, "You can caress a guitar like a woman. Only the guitar won't ask you alimony after you divorce."

I sit on the ancient fake leather couch that has rips in it too numerous to count. Neither of us who inhabit the apartment had bought it. It had been left behind by the last person to rent the apartment out since it is such a worthless piece of crap. Too much work to haul outside to take to the dump it has survived in relative peace, enriching the lives of the colony of dust bunnies living under it. I don't dare disturb this peace.

My headphones (really expensive, really bulky, and in my opinion really great) sit on the window ledge behind me with my green iPod. I unjack the headphones from it and insert them into the girl's iPod, flip the hold switch and set the little device to shuffle to see what would randomly come up.

Saku made it known he had heard random curse words coming from the living room over the clacking of dishes in the sink, "Taira, you okay man?"

"Y-Yeah. Just, uh, yeah, I'm good!" I shout back to him. Often times I blast my own music but it still came as an unpleasant surprise when the first song to play was a screamo band I'd never heard of. I skip that song. Now it's country. 'Taylor Swift' it says on the artist's label, I know her. So I skip that one too. I don't know what I'm looking for exactly, possibly something new and surprising, but after flipping through another ten to twenty songs I come across one that gives me an answer.

I strum notes on my bass in time to the song's tempo. It's a funk rock melody with an almost punk feel to it. It almost reminds me of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in their early days but it's totally different because the vocalist's edgy dark voice gives the entire arrangement a grungy sound. I kept stopping the song and rewinding it to retry parts of the bassline that were tricky to figure out. Since I figure things out by ear it's sometimes a lengthy process.

I must've sat there on the couch like a bump on a log for an hour or more because before I know it Saku is done the dishes and well on his way to his girlfriend Hiromi's house. He's planning on taking her out on a date in the scrap metal van. I can imagine the looks on the girl's parent's faces, horrified that their daughter is going out with a low-income musician. I could have howled with laughter but instead I silently said a prayer for Saku hoping to bring him some good luck for once.

I always find time passes me by more quickly when I'm alone. Sitting there, practising first all of Beck's songs and then trying my hand on some songs that were on the girl's iPod I find I have developed a ludicrously sore back. So I spend the remainder of the evening on non-prescription drugs to try and get myself up to full speed again. But, by the time they kicked in and the agony is over Saku has returned and I am faced with additional practise with him. After all, the rhythm section is the foundation of the band and without a solid core…it would be sloppy like Ryusuke's hair-do after forgetting to shower for several days.

Later on I phone the studio to reserve more band time. I'm always the one who organizes things. Without me there would be utter chaos.

* * *

During practise at the studio the next day Ryusuke decides that he just absolutely has to go get a certain foot pedal at the end of practice, which usually means that I have to go with him to the music store downtown. I also have to pick up bass strings too, so it's something I can't avoid even if I want to. See, when you're on a tight budget you go where the discounts are. The discounts just happen to be where Ryusuke thrives.

But at the moment, sitting there in that music store watching Ryusuke noodle on some random vintage Fender, I realize I'm kind of bored out of my skull. In fact, I'm hungry and craving something deep fried with chocolate or ice cream, something so full of carbs that I would feel bad about eating it later. It never occurs to me that I have rather feminine cravings at times. Hmm, I have to admit that I'm leaning towards the ice cream. Chocolate ice cream to be precise. It's the way to go for sure. I must have licked my lips in thought because I garnish weird glances from a kid and his mother who steers her child away from me in an awful hurry.

"Taira, are you listening to me?" Ryusuke hold up the Fender and points to one of the strings, "I asked if the B string sounded flat to you."

With a snort I roll my eyes at him, "I thought we were here for a pedal, not a guitar."

"Nothing ever goes as plan," states Ryusuke sagely, putting the guitar back on the shelf. His hand lingers like he's going to stroke the guitar but all he does is take the cable out and look about the shelves. He's about to select another when something comes to him out of the blue judging by his droll facial expression, "You know, we need a new T-shirt design sometime. You know, like a design that people will recognize and say, 'Hey that's a Beck, Mongolian Chop Squad' tee. Maybe we should talk to Mitchan about it. He has that 'in' with some kind of designer friend, right?"

Sighing I wedge myself behind Ryusuke, (which is actually hard to do with the narrow aisle), and push him forward and out the door. "You got your pedal, I got my strings, and we're going to leave now." I turn and give a slight wave to the shopkeeper, an eccentric guy who plays trumpet. We'd jammed a few times, funk mostly. It got me discounts in the shop which is the reason Ryusuke always dragged me along. The cheap bastard.

Ryusuke follows behind me at a good distance, complaining that I'm doing a good job of breaking the friggin' sound barrier with the speed at which I walk. For the most part I ignore him, focusing instead on finding the ice cream parlour I know is around here somewhere. Or is it back the other way? I slow down enough for Ryusuke to catch up, who's now complaining that we were going to get mugged and his effect pedal, a brand new DigiTech Whammy that he bought with someone else's credit card, stolen.

"Ice cream," I say simply, "Was it back that way or up ahead?"

Ryusuke's entire body twitches, a violent seizure-like shake, "Why is it that every time we go here you forget that the ice cream place closed down?"

I stop and stare hard at Ryusuke for a minute then say, my voice exasperated, "I try to block out depressing things like that. Well," I think for a second while Ryusuke winks at some girl with a short skirt (she stomps off). "Alright, fine, I'm going to the super market. If I leave you alone are you going to do something stupid?"

"More than likely," Ryusuke replies with a half smile.

* * *

Afternoon practise on Saturday turned into an all night marathon in which Chiba fell asleep on the floor and Saku downed a record breaking four water bottles in just over one minute. Nonetheless I felt that we were getting better as a band. Even Ryusuke and Chiba seemed to be accepting each other's presence which is more than I had originally hoped for ever since they had that little spat at Gratefull Sound 5.

Koyuki's wolfing down a cup of instant ramen when he asks me why I've been in a trance like state ever since arriving. Moreover he goes on to mention Saku telling him that I was having weird moments as of late. Those two are like Siamese twins or something; I swear they know everything about each other.

I look at Koyuki and say heatedly, "Do I look weird right now? Because, really, I'm not the one passed out," I gesture wildly to Chiba who's sprawled out on the floor, "and singing the lyrics to 'Stay Away' by Nirvana! He's ruining one of my favourite songs!"

Koyuki pauses to listen, "Actually, now it seems like Chiba is singing 'Rape Me'…"

Needless to say I feel like smacking my head on the coffee table in front of me. But then I'd get brain damage and the band would have one less person to count on, so I don't.

"Anyway, what should I get Maho for her birthday? Ryusuke says that it's on the 19th and that's only a week away!" Koyuki exclaims, rubbing the sleep dirt from his eyes. It's around three in the morning and there is still no sign of the studio manager so we haven't packed up our stuff yet. We like to wait until the last possible moment, rather to get kicked out than leave early. The old, 'we lost track of time' works on the guy so there's no fear of being permanently put on a black list. Not that the shitty studio has a black list; the manager takes anyone's money.

I hand Saku my untouched water bottle that had been sitting beside me turning mouldy and watch him go outside to talk to Ryusuke who's smoking and leaning against a telephone booth. Then I turn to Koyuki and slowly reply so as not to repeat things later, "Well, she does like to shop, doesn't she? If it were me I'd start talking about clothes and then discreetly ask what her favourite clothing store is. You could then just get her a gift card for that store."

"Hey, that's a good idea! Thanks Taira!"

"Koyuki."

"Yeah?"

"Just don't go picking out any clothes to give her; it'll just make things complicated."

Koyuki squints at me, the splitting image of Saku. Undeniably Siamese twins. "Why's that?" he asks, genuinely enquiring.

Rolling my eyes discreetly I consider even replying to his naïve question, "Well, for one thing she has her own taste in clothing, different from yours," Koyuki tugs at his baggy shirt in a discomfited manner, "Plus what you get her might not fit her. If you get her something too small she'll have to return it, which is a pain in the ass. But then what if you get her something that's too big? Chances are good that Maho would freak on you, thinking that you think she's fat or whatever goes on in that girl's crazy head."

As the information known as my reasoning sinks in Koyuki seems to feel the need to ask, "Do you have a girlfriend or something Taira?"

The swaggering snort that stirs Chiba in his sleep comes from me, the older more experienced guy. "No, the band is first priority, besides; I've yet to meet a girl who can stand hours of the pulsing frequencies of a bass guitar and _not_ get a headache."

Koyuki gave a slight 'oh' and went into the instrument room to retrieve his Telecaster. He's probably planning on leaving soon. I personally want to go sleep in my apartment and miss work. But I really couldn't do that. After all, the band needs funding and whether or not the money comes out of my pocket is important. I can't mess up. There are no freeloaders in Beck. How Ryusuke provides band money is beyond me but even he does so I am no exception.

I take out the red iPod from my pocket. I'd been carrying it with me all day. There were just so many interesting songs on it! I position my headphones and put it on shuffle hoping to discover a new song that I just have to learn to play.

Ryusuke and Saku come inside. Beck's lead guitarist stares at the iPod sitting on my lap while I tap a rhythm on the top of an amplifier with the tips of my fingers. Ryusuke continues to stare: he has a thing for music players. A fetish if you will. In fact, he has a small collection of mp3 players that sit on top of a shelf at the fish pond, his home. So naturally he sidles up to me and, since I would not acknowledge his presence, gives me a light elbow in the side.

"Taira, when did you get that? Looks like one of those limited edition models," Ryusuke says with his dark eyes fixed firmly on the music player. Saku just shrugs, not sharing the fetish, and goes into the sound room to talk to Koyuki. He emerges carrying one of his drums, which to me signals packing up time.

A hand enters my line of vision and I swat it away, starting to get a tad annoyed with my band mate. "Ryusuke, it's not even mine. Therefore it's off limits to you." It's sometimes best to just lay down the truth. "I picked it up after some girl dropped it, but she caught a bus and left before I could return it."

Koyuki overhears the conversation, "Are you going to return it to her?" Always up for helping people, he's so selfless at times. Actually, that would be most of the time. Okay, _all_ the time.

"Dropped it? I'll bet the chick gave it to you after you rolled in the hay with her," Ryusuke butts in with his useless two cents. I shoot him a glare but choose to ignore him by answering Koyuki instead.

"I would if I could but I don't know her name or anything about her. She was just in the park by my apartment and caught a bus… that was Tuesday I think, maybe Wednesday."

Smiling like he'd gotten the winning ticket to the lottery Koyuki says animatedly, "If she was there to catch a bus maybe she'll be there again the same day next week! It would make sense if she lived on the other side of town or something. She probably uses it to get to work. You could run into her by waiting at the bus stop."

What a genius. It's hard to believe that just came out of Koyuki's mouth but it did.

"Why the hell would he give back such an awesome iPod? Koyuki, you really piss me off sometimes!" Ryusuke shouts waving his arms in the air to emphasize his point. Rage seems to be written on his forehead as he freaks out all over the younger guitarist, bringing up all of the flaws in his performance during practise earlier.

I watch the two argue, prepared to step in if things get ugly, but eventually I leave to get the shitty piece of crap loaded with Saku's help. When I lift my amp into the back I think I hear a strange wheeze coming from the van as it sags in the back with the weight of our band's combined equipment. We really need to get funding for a new van. Woohoo, more issues.

Meanwhile all Chiba does is mutter in his sleep, currently oblivious to the hearts drawn on his cheeks with black Sharpie marker. It's the epitome of the way us band men treat each other.

* * *

If you like it please review! I'd love to hear your opinion!

~Reiki


	2. She Dances On Tables

**Author's Note**: You'll notice that it has changed from Taira's P.O.V. to 'the girls'. Every even numbered chapter will be Rylie's chapter and we'll get to listen to Taira's P.O.V. every odd numbered chapter. For the rest of the story, hurrhurr.

Well, this chapter we are introduced not only to Rylie's band mates but to the creepy voice in her head. Read on friends.

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain random people.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and later scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 2 – She Dances On Tables

* * *

Fuck.

"Shit!" I scream loud enough to wake the dead or at the very least wake up the old deaf lady downstairs from her afternoon nap.

I startle Ritsu who jumps and knocks her head on the table she had been sitting beside.

"Fuck! What the hell Rylie!" she yells clutching the back of her head and wincing in pain.

"M-My iPod!" I exclaim erratically, "It's gone!" I turn to Ritsu franticly and throw my hands on her shoulders, "Did you take it?"

"Why the hell would I take your iPod? You have shit music on there," she mumbles.

I'm throwing everything out of my backpack and scattering it around the room. I take out a huge pencil case full of drawing supplies and dump it in front of me. When Ritsu sees this her eyes widen like milk saucers.

"You actually lost it?" She says in disbelief.

I turn around and glare at her. I probably don't look very menacing since I'm tearing up over my loss. "Just help me look, okay?"

Ritsu and I turn our little flat upside down seeking my red baby. By the time Ritsu gives up and cracks open a beer it looks like a hurricane has hit. That or it looks like the water heater exploded again. Portions of the room have been moved against walls and all unfastened objects are overturned. The stereo system we got as a gift is on its side. Why? Because my iPod could've been under it.

"Rylie, I can't believe you lost it," Ritsu says, adjusting her pony tail so it sits higher on her head. Some of her light brown hair has come loose from its hold while we were searching and it looks unkempt and dishevelled. A quick glance in a mirror shows me I look no better.

I start to sulk; lying on the floor belly down, my hair splurged around me like a shaggy rug. Unfortunately, I don't get to wallow in depression for more than five minutes. Ritsu is crouched beside me, prodding my side with the blunt end of a drumstick. I feel like a dead animal carcass discovered by a little kid.

"Get up," she says simply. "We need to practice." I roll over to my side and the stupid stick meant for my arm connects with my boob.

"Ouch!"

She smirks mercilessly, "You actually felt that Big Boobs?"

"Yeah and it bloody hurt you sadist!" She smiles even more and walks over to her drum set. She sits on the throne and for one horrible moment I think she's going to go into metal woman mode. I won't be able to take her heavy thrash metal today. Not in the state I'm in.

I leave the apartment in a hurry with my sketchpad and a collection of pencils in my hand just as she starts off on her solo. I fly down the stairs and out of the building. She's so loud when she pounds her drums that I can still hear her outside. Why we haven't been kicked out of our home yet is beyond me. Then again this is probably because the only other person in the apartment building is a deaf lady who lives two floors below us. But still, you'd think the vibrations would've gotten a little bit annoying after a while. Whatever.

I walk around aimlessly like a lost puppy and stop cold turkey when I spot an ice cream stand. Sadly though I have a tremendous lack of change so I have to either mentally pull myself away or…oh my, I think I have a diabolical plan brewing.

I slither up to the young man behind the stand and before he knows what's happening I'm right up near his face. Eww, Jaco, he smells like canned beef. But I will do almost anything for a chocolate cone on a hot summer day.

"How are you today?" I ask in what can only be described as a very arousing tone. The trick here is to come on strong to lead him to think that I'm into him. I twirl my hair, a tip I got on a commercial for a porno website (I know, disturbing, but it was apparently viewed as a working way to give a guy signs you're into him…or something).

"Err, c-can I help you?" he stutters, pulling back slightly from me in alarm. I haven't won him over yet. This is, of course, to be expected.

I smile seductively, "Well, I was just passing by and you seemed like a polite very good-looking," I slather on the totally untrue compliments, "young man so I just wanted to get your name cutey."

He blushes and I know stage one is almost complete.

"Uhm, my name's Takano… Ishumaki," he says slowly. I smile at him encouragingly and bat my eyelashes for good measure. He looks slightly younger than me, which is good because any older and he might have some sense up in his head.

I let loose a loud giggle, "That's a cute name."

"Uh, t-thanks?"

"So, it's pretty hot out today, huh?" I say tugging at my shirt a little to get his eyes wandering. It works pretty well since the fabric exposes a little bit of the top of my bra that can't go ignored. It is bright red on a black shirt after all.

His face is now the likeness of a tomato. "U-Uh, d-do y-you…"

"Yes, yes, do I?" I prod him. Stage two almost achieved.

"W-want an i-ice cream?" Aww, poor thing is absolutely smitten by me.

I lean back and show him my empty pockets, "Sorry, I have no money on me at the moment. It's such a shame." I flash him a grin as I turn to walk away.

"Ah, well you can have it for free," he hurries to put in, before I walk off.

"Really?" I exclaim like I wasn't expecting it, "Aww, that would be so sweet of you!"

He blushes more, and I'm surprised that he can get redder than he already is. "Sure, what flavour would you like?"

"Hmm," I pretend to consider all the different flavours when already my mind is made up. I take notice of a bird in the sky and wait just long enough to give him a fair chance to look me over. He deserves it since I'm technically using him. But sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

"I think I'll just have chocolate if that's okay?"

"Right," he says dishing it out into a cone. I can't help but notice his hands are wobbly. Please don't drop my beloved ice cream that I worked so hard to get!

"Here, you go," he hands it to me and I immediately indulge. Yum, this is some good quality stuff we're talking here. But, unfortunately for him, I don't plan on staying here all day under his gaze. I can see drool forming at the corners of his mouth and that in itself is my cue to depart.

"I'll see you around…" Err, name, I need a name; I've forgotten his name, "Cutey-kun."

That seals it. He's in awe of my smexiness. I now officially feel bad for using him to obtain my desires. Oh well, I won't be seeing him again, not in Japan where there's more people packed like sardines into the country than anywhere else. Well, almost.

I finish the ice cream off before I find a place to draw and spend time alone before going back home. The place I happen to stop at is a park and I pull back the pages of my past drawings and happen to turn to the one I drew of that Taira guy. I stare at it and wonder just what he could be doing right now. Maybe he's a model or something, he's reasonably hot. The longer I stare at the picture though the more I get to wondering if he was sad enough at the time to commit suicide. Yes, a bizarre and unlikely muse but he did seem really depressed. Then again when we talked he seemed actually kind of happy…

Good God I need a man in my life… but I haven't had a boyfriend since high school!

I'm giving this guy I will likely never meet again just like the ice cream kid way too much thought which is not what I plan to do. Still, I can't seem to make any lines on a new blank sheet of paper. So I give up on the chase of inspiration as I seem to be bone-dry in that department and pack up to head home.

Once there I apologize to Ritsu for not sticking around to practice. Ritsu being Ritsu only scoffs and asks me what the hell is up with the food around the apartment. Apparently it's not without little microscopic bite marks. Don't tell me we have mice.

We start to watch TV and I pretend to listen as she launches into how great it is to have a new snare drum but how expensive it is for her since she only works two part-time jobs. It's not that I don't enjoy her company it's just that I'm not into drum sets in the same way she is. If it were bass on the other hand…

"-so if we had like a really big cymba-"

She's still speaking about her beloved noise makers while I walk into the kitchen. It's my turn to cook something or, in my case, cause the fire alarm to go off. I was never very good at watching stuff on the stove, something always ended up entering my mind and causing me to lose focus. I mean, how interesting can mashed potatoes get anyway?

Okay, regardless of how interesting mashed potatoes are I'm peeling potatoes in hopes that by doing so it will make me a better bass guitarist. By holding the potatoes in my left (fretting) hand and the knife in the other (plucking hand) I am exercising my right by pulling the knife through the hard skin of the potato whilst keeping control over where the knife goes. Now, I had cut myself before and the thrill of manoeuvring that knife in close quarters with my hand…oh boy. This will strengthen my hand, I think, since after doing multiple potatoes I can feel the burn.

It makes sense to me.

Really I just have a craving for mashed potatoes (and I'm not pregnant thank you.) If it betters my bass playing ability then I can rest my case that female bass players can have hands just as strong as any guys. In truth I am still fuming since last week, right before our gig, some fat guy told me that he didn't think I could play very well since my hands were so small. Well, fatty didn't actually say that but he damn well implied it. It made me want to pull a Sid Vicious on him and hit him over the head with my bass. People like that just…

"Are you okay? You're staring at that potato like it just grew a head with sharp teeth." Ritsu's beside me eyeing the knife I hold warily, probably contemplating whether or not I would go through with murdering her and/or the potato.

"I'm fine. Really. Really fine," I can't shake the feeling that she's going to jump on me any second now and take away my knife. I'm just peeling potatoes for crying out loud!

After dinner, which I affectionately call Ritsu feeding time, we head down to the studio, picking up the other two girls in the band on the way. The roaring of the van is starting to unnerve me. Ever since Ritsu took it for a drive on the highway at 150kph the sounds it usually made got more frequent and far more violent sounding. When we pull to a stop in front of the studio the van lets loose a sound that can only be described as a transport running over numerous cats at once.

"This van is sounding worse each time we take it to practise," Ritsu comments uneasily. Even she's starting to get the willies. And she's supposed to be fearless!

I turn away as I get out of the driver's side, roll my eyes and say, "Thank you for stating the obvious girl."

The next day at the grocery store all of us in the band went through the shelves and laughed at another group of girls like us who were whining about all the calories in ice cream. It was then that we promptly went and got a humongous special offer tub (YAY!) from the shelf while they all stood and gaped at us. I just smiled back with a Cheshire grin. Life is good girlies, live while you can.

This is why I love my band mates. They aren't the type of people who are afraid to be themselves. No, in fact they can be too overly indulgent at times. Our shopping cart is full of instant noodles (just add water), packaged French fries and chicken burgers from the frozen food aisle, fruit in bountiful numbers and the biggest container of powdered ice tea mix I could find simply because I love my ice tea for it is an addiction. Which is why, at the checkout, I had to reach into my friend and lead guitarist Kimiko's purse for her debit card seeing as how I'd conveniently left mine at home. Kim glares at me, steely eyed and I glance at the piece of plastic in my hand debatably before handing it to the cashier. I swear I can hear the metallic voice of the card scream out in terror to leave it be, that it had a wife and kids to feed and even a house on the hillside with a little pond and animals running amok…

That last part made whatever remorse that I had from handing over the debit card disappear. You see, earlier this morning my drummer and I had an 'incident' involving a rabid animal, a dog to be specific, and while nobody was seriously injured I think I might have acquired a new found dislike for stray animals. Oh, and the hospital bill for Ritsu's injury only added to my disdainful morning.

This explained why after grocery shopping Ritsu had made the excuse of being in pain (she was bitten on the arm by this crazy dog and required stitches) a good reason for drinking. Consumption of alcohol loosened the body and freed the mind of all coherent thought so of course that was why, a couple hours and a couple beers later, Ritsu was on a table dancing to some metal anthem that sounded like Slayer that was playing from the jukebox in the corner. Being my motherly self I was now trying to pull her off said table by the hem of her pants. By 'hem' I mean the bottom of her jeans around her ankles since Ritsu is not particularly tall and her articles of clothing often (read always) have to be shortened.

"I am queen of the world! I am the goddess of metal!" She shrieks headbanging in time to the drums. It's good that most of the pubs occupants are completely wasted as much or more so than Ritsu or her senseless rambling banshee cries would have been a real problem.

"Yo, Rylie, get her down off the table!" the bartender calls. His name is Al. We knew him well since he recently became officially recruited to work the merch table at our shows. Really he is one of my older male best friends (and not in that way you perverts). He's more that uncle that all your other relatives avoid and tell you as a child not to go near because a)he is creepy as hell, b)he smells bad and c) he's some kind of ex-convict so therefore he's a bad influence. I never asked what he did and he never told us. We're just bar buddies. Musicians and bartenders mix really well.

"Can't you do it? Can't you see I'm trying to find Chi?" He shrugs his shoulders as if he doesn't care mocha latta(1) about my rhythm guitarist even though I am fairly certain he enjoys her civil company the most out of all four of us band women. There's me the lovely and humble bassist, Ritsu our highly eccentric drummer as evident of her table dancing ways, Kim our lead guitarist who will be forever scared of men and their lusting after her big bust size and Chi who is, at the moment, missing in action. This to me is a crisis bigger than my wasted drummer and, after shooting Al a glare of retribution, I stalk off in the direction of the bathroom where my intuition tells me she is.

And did I mention my instinct is rarely ever wrong? Sure enough there is Chiyoko, Chi or Chichi for short, hunched over a sink and staring into the mirror at herself with wide blue eyes. The hue her eyes are often scared people off. They are so light that they're considered 'baby' baby blues. The eyes of an angel though, at the moment, as she applies eyeliner, very spine-chilling.

"There you are! I thought you would be with Kim! She's sitting in a corner by herself trying not to attract attention."

Chi whirls around to face me with demonic eyes, "Oh God Rylie don't do that!"

"Do what?"

"Scare me like that! Wait, Kim's in a corner by herself? But I thought I left her with Ritsu…" she trails off as if contemplating whether or not the alcohol she consumed earlier is fucking with her memory. She has gone all squinty eyed on me and I am reduced to staring at the sight before me. Her natural blonde hair, since she was from God knows where in Europe, is tangled and matted from not receiving attention which is a rare sight with her as she's the vainest one among us. That coupled with the faint streaks of uneven foundation made me think something was horribly, horribly wrong with my band mate. If I didn't know any better I'd say she's been lusting after a boy or something.

"Have you been crying?" I ask worriedly. Chi's the most cheerful person I know so the thought itself was almost absurd but judging from the look on her face I knew I'd just hit the proverbial nail on the head.

"No," she sniffs. Ah, denial. Now, whatever can be the problem my dear?

"Is it because Ritsu spilt beer on your leg?" I ask glancing down at the stained fabric. Chi's jeans are never going to be the same again even if we wash them a couple thousand times. Al makes a specially brewed beer that, when adhering to fabric, permanently stains. Who knew what the hell it is he throws in there but it tastes good enough for us drinkers.

"No," she inhales nasally. Her eyes well up and tears threaten to leak out. She has plenty of jeans since her parents are, like, the fucking rulers of the business world.

I bite my lip trying to think of what could have made her so upset. "Is it because earlier I let Ritsu drive the van? I'm really sorry about that. It was an experience that no doubt shortened my life too."

"No," she sobs out. Now the tears are making a salty path down her cheeks and I fear she's about to go into clingy mode and grab me any second now. Her hands are tucked up against her chest and she's shifting from foot to foot whilst staring hard at the ground. It's a sad sight and I'm glad that apart from the lady who's passed out in the stale next to us with her face hanging over the toilet that there's nobody else in the ladies room.

"Oh, well, sure scared me. If it's not that then what is it?"

She shakes her head, and, being the stubborn chick that she is, doesn't say anything. I am going to have to be forceful, tactful, and altogether outrageous in order to get the truth out of her.

"Been smokin' pot behind my back, eh?" The question is more of a joke but nonetheless it gets her to look me in the eye which is what I am aiming for. Her eyes tell the world everything about her. By the way this makes her a horrible liar. I always play poker with her.

"Eww, no!" She grimaces shaking her head and making her curly blonde locks fly outwards like an afro. We, as in the band, call her our lion for just that reason. I would actually kill to have huge 80s hair metal hair like hers. Mine is only moderately wavy and goes until mid-back since I have long ago given up on getting it cut. Paying someone to cut hair is a waste of money, but that's just my opinion.

"Then what is it?" She hangs her head like it's some other big shame. "Is it a boy?"

Her head snaps up and I grin despite feeling awful for her. Sadly that just took me almost ten minutes to guess when originally it happened to be my first hunch. Her blue eyes stare back at me, watery and holding that look in them that she gets when she needs comfort. It's the wet cat in the rain look.

Without warning she launches herself with the velocity of a space shuttle taking off for mars and grips me around my middle, squeezing hard like an anaconda that had been deprived of lunch for weeks. She has escalated to a full out sob fest and now I'm incapacitated. I can't breathe as she holds firm with her grip on me and slowly and very painfully breaks my ribs. "C-Chi…Chi…let go! C-Can't…brea..th…"

Air! I have almost forgotten your sweet non-taste mixed in with the colourful stench of alcohol and musky raunchy men-who-don't-use-deodorant-often smell. Chi has let me go and she stands before me sullen with an apology on her pink lip gloss coated lips.

"Sorry Rylie, I didn't mean to do that."

"Nope, that's fine, but just tell me what's wrong since I can either console you or help you score some gorgeous hunka-hunka," I try to motivate, assuming this male attraction is indeed good-looking. Who knows, maybe he even has a friend. I'm single and looking. Sadly, everyone in the band is. Or course we have to take into account that Kim is afraid of boys and Ritsu is too much for any man to handle but still, it's pathetic. We're all bachelorettes!

"No! That's not it either! It's my parents!" she cries finally choosing to enlighten me.

Ah. Bitchy and Mr. Mustachio: the two entrepreneurs and the cause of my friend's woes. This is a touchy subject. I have met Chi's parents only once, when I had gone over to her mansion of a house to drop off something she'd forgotten at band practice. Never again. Her parents are like the guardians of the underworld or something. They recently divorced and are in a legal battle over rights to the wealth and property, not to mention their one and only daughter. Chi has brought this up many times. Her father is going to put her through a private school and get her a job in his company where she would work in a cubical all day while her mother's planning on getting her an arranged marriage to some corporate leader's son. All that matters now is who wins the custody battle and who gets their wish.

Chi doesn't know which one's worse.

"What happened now? Did your Dad decide to marry you off too?" I hope this isn't the case since Chi is very adamant about finding her true love so she'd been hoping to not have her mother win the battle and get the final say in her future.

Chi shakes her head sadly, "No, Dad's not in a hurry to have me married. It's worse, way worse."

I stare, waiting for the worst.

"I-I think I'm going to have to quit the band."

Fuck.

"WHAT!" I screech followed by a long list of profanities. She bursts out into tears.

"I don't want to though! I can't live without you guys!" Chi is trembling and I'm so angry at her satanic parents that I feel as though I'm a hot air balloon. I am going to rip Mr. Mustachio's moustache off his face and shove it down his divorced wife's throat. And then I'm going to laugh, very hard. Sweet Jaco I am such a sadist.

"We need you Chi," I tell her softly, grasping her shaky hands, "It's just not going to be Fidelity Flux without you."

"But my parents…"

"Can suck my non-existent dick. Seriously, they control your life! That's not very rock and roll." Always the voice of reason I am. It's a very important job you can't take too seriously.

"But…"

"But what? If you don't want to do it then don't." As I say that I suddenly get a brilliant idea. I have had many ideas before and (I wont lie) they usually they end up squashed by people who have retained some of their sanity. That's not to say I'm insane, oh no, that would be Ritsu but lets just say I don't particularly have all my marbles.

I had actually thought of it a while ago back when the problems with Chi's parents started. "You can stay with me and Ritsu! Like an extended sleepover only you'll have to help us out by paying a third of the rent." She stands in perplexed shock as I hold up three fingers just to clear the message, "Well, I mean, nobody in this band is a freebooter so you know it's only fair and all that you-"

She cuts me off, "Really? Are you sure Ritsu won't mind?"

For a second I visualize my friend dancing on the tables surrounded by empty beer bottles. "No, she won't mind at all. In fact, I think this could be good for her." Yes, it could teach her manners. Chi is quite the posh girl who has several etiquette lessons under her belt. How any of us in the band ended up becoming friends with her is beyond me. I can't even remember. It has always been the four of us. Maybe we met on the jungle gym at a playground somewhere as kids. I can't remember but if I asked Kim she'd know. She has the memory of an elephant. But I'd never say that out loud for fear of her taking it the wrong way and starting up a diet.

"Okay, if you're sure this is okay," she says giving me the worried contemplative face she shows me before we go onstage to perform. If there is one person in the band who I wish would drink it would have to be Chi. She could use the extra intoxicant.

I mutter countless reassurances as we finally leave the restrooms and the lady passed out on the floor behind us. Chi is walking around looking for any sign of Kim and I troop back to where I left Ritsu. A little voice in the depths of my paranormal mind starts up as I near the danger zone.

**Soldier, this is going to be painful.**

_Thank you sergeant you've really given me a fiery courage._

**Go for the head, then, when it is stunned, give it the final blow. Then drag its candy ass back to headquarters. Do me proud Soldier. **

_Yes Sir! _

Oddly the conversation I had with myself regarding a battle plan has made me feel better about confronting my drummer. That is until I catch a glimpse of Al and Ritsu locked in mortal combat. Ritsu has the table well guarded with glass bottles but Al has somehow grabbed a hold of her leg and is trying desperately to drag her down. Bottles are flying everywhere, spilling off the table and being chucked by Ritsu in an attempt to dislodge Al.

Calamity strikes when Ritsu kicks his face in with a grime-crusted steel-toed boot and I wonder if our friendship with the guy is now coming to a close.

I'm over there and kneeling beside Al to see if he's okay and, apart from a footprint on his forehead, he is perfectly fine albeit a little drunk himself. I guide him back to his bar (he's safe behind the counter) and then make my way back to Ritsu who has continued doing an impression of herself playing the drums except using beer bottles as both the skins and her sticks. Glass litters the floor under and around her table and there is now several drunks, all males coincidentally, standing around cheering her on. And people wonder how we accumulate fans so quickly.

"Ritsu! Get down from there!" I shout to her as she does a roll off her imaginary snare. The funny thing is she won't remember any of this come morning. _I am going to shoot her, I am going to shoot her._ The chant starts up in my head like a mantra, growing louder and louder. The alcohol is setting in. I too am loosing it. This is just peachy.

I turn away from the crowd and grab a handful of straws from the bar. Why Al has _plastic straws_ in a bar is beyond me but I'm glad he does. I hold up two separate handfuls of straws and shout to my drummer, "Ritsu! Look! I got your lucky sticks!"

As much as Ritsu is an unpredictable drunk she's also a stupid drunk. She freezes and glares at me and the objects I'm holding in my hand, scrutinizing them. Judging by the sceptical look on her face I'm guessing she can't tell whether I have her drumsticks or not since it's far too dark in here and I am a good distance away from her clutches. So she has to find out. And that means abandoning her post in the middle of the room.

I would be lying if I said I didn't prepare for impact. When Ritsu charged me like a raging bull I had moved a chair in between us (to use as a weapon if Ritsu turned into the violent drunk) and used Chi as extra padding. But Ritsu is not to be stopped easily. With her speed she belongs on a dragstrip that girl. She tears through both wooden chair and European chick and manages to dislodge the little plastic straws from between my hands in one fell swoop, bending them all out of shape. She scrunches up her face and glares heatedly at the plastic, practically liquefying it with her gaze.

"These aren't my drumsticks!" She screeches, reminiscent of the old Wicked Witch of the West before getting melted into a creamy puddle of gooey substance. The straws that she has captured she now hurls across the room, hitting some poor blonde haired guy and in turn ricocheting off him and whacking his dark afro haired buddy who sat opposite him in a booth. I couldn't really make out their faces but judging by the way they appeared to be disoriented they didn't know where the straws came from. Or wait, their eyes are homing in on us, the obvious entertainment for the night. Shit. We are so overdue to leave.

I hide my face as Kim emerges from nowhere. Chi is off the floor and gives us a signal we know all to well. The three of us forcefully grab hold of Ritsu, lifting her kicking and screaming by her legs and her arms. The idea is to get her from the bar to the back of the van where we would throw her in and lock her up. It's sort of like a game. A game that can sometimes get awfully frustrating, you know like playing a video game and getting to the final boss only to lose and then have to restart. That kind of game.

Afterwards I have to go back and apologize to Al. Maybe those other two guys too. Oh man, it would be just my luck if they were Yakuza, the Japanese equivalent of the Hell's Angels. Being of Canadian heritage I had heard stories of some of the Hell's Angel's exploits since it was a tactic that parents sometimes used to get their children to behave. At least that was how my parents rolled anyway. This explains why I'm always wary of packs of leather clad men riding motorcycles. It also explains why I carry a Swiss army knife in the back pocket of my jeans.

By the time we sealed Ritsu safely inside the van Chi already told Kim the news and she's looking at me like a dog with a bone lodged in its throat.

"Are you sure about this Rylie?" Kim asks softly. She's without a doubt the shyest out of the four of us. Unless provoked. Then she fought tooth and nail viciously with the ferocity of an angry cat that had been dropped into a bath tub. She's naturally very serene most of the time though. She balances out the band quite well.

"Yep, it'll be good for Ritsu," I tell her matter-of-factually. Speak of the devil Ritsu has smushed her face up against the glass of the window and is now making fishie faces at us. I tap on the glass and give her what I hope is a reprimanding stare. She sticks out her tongue and for a second I think she is going to lick the glass and get it all slobbery and contaminated.

"Kay, lets go apologize to Al," Kim says starting for the club. Chi and I follow knowing that once we get out of sight Ritsu will become so bored she'll fall asleep. Or slam her head on the dash and knock herself out. Whichever is more convenient for her.

Al is surprisingly calm about receiving a kick to the face. Chi apologizes for Ritsu numerous times and each time he waves it off like it's an accident. That or he is used to customers doing that to him. Being the curious cat that I am I decide to ask him about it.

"So, do people do that to you often? Like, become violent and stuff?"

Kim coughs and glares at me. She just wants to get out of here and go home (she still lives with her parents). Random guys are staring at us, no, at _her_, and it's starting to upset her. When we first met I didn't believe her when she said she has a fear of men but now I can't help but see why. They all stare at her bosom. She just gets overly nervous when guys check her out. I've never talked to her much about it since it must've been a bad experience with a guy that set her on a downward spiral in the romance area.

"Hmmm, yeah, I have a few people who come in here and get a little too drunk. Take last week for example. That guy over there," he points discreetly to the afro guy who got whacked in the face by plastic straws, "he gave me a black eye. It was one of the unexpected ones too so I just went flying into a table."

Oh God. Now I am so not going over to apologize to those two guys. It's just asking for it. So we bid Al farewell and get our sexy posteriors back to the van. Sure enough Ritsu's sprawled across the seats in the back. Once she's out that's it there's no more Ritsu until the following morning. I just have to remember to put a bucket by her head for the morning's inevitable hang-over.

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(1) Mocha latta – a cool word I thought of two seconds before typing it. If you read it in the context it is printed in a couple times it may actually start to make sense.

AN: So, did you catch my little throw in of characters? If not you should re-read it, haha~ But I doubt you could've missed it. It may (will) come up again later in the story.

Okay, here we have it: Chapter 2. So, now you have met Rylie's band mates Ritsu, Kim (Kimiko) and Chi (Chiyoko). Yes, Kim does have a fear of men. I always found that to be an interesting concept. Oh boy Ryusuke you better not scare the crap out of that girl! XD

Likely there won't be any pairings besides Taira and Rylie but you never know. Chiba and Ritsu are one in the same but with that said there will be future clashes of will between the two. Yep, that's what happens when two very strong willed people meet.

Next chapter will be in Taira's Point Of View. Oh the hilarity when the two meet up again. You'll just have to subscribe to stay tuned. *nudge, nudge*

BTW, that **review** button looks mighty fine to me.

~Reiki


	3. Green Plastic Army Men

**Author's Note**: I was smiling the whole time while writing this. Poor Taira, I feel as though I've put him through hell and back again. Rylie too. Especially near the middle of this chapter, what was I thinking? Damn plot bunnies are evil. Eevviiiiiiiillllll. Read on.

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain random people.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and later scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 3 – Green Plastic Army Men

* * *

For the longest time I'd meant to replace the black pick guard on my MusicMan SingRay but until now I hadn't been able to get around to doing it. As I was coming back from the music store that sold the only MusicMan's in my district I realized something. I just so happened to be walking through the same park I'd met that girl. That artist who drew a picture of me looking as if I'd been contemplating suicide. It was Monday though, so she wouldn't be around, I guessed.

But, I was wrong.

When she saw me it was instant recognition even though we had met only once. I graciously wave and she smiles and mouths my name. Or says it out loud, she's on the other side of the park so I couldn't hear her. The birds were yakking away as they typically did, almost drowning out the sound of a wailing baby in a stroller.

As she walks up I note that she's carrying her sketchpad, the same one that had the picture of me in it I'm sure. This time I plan on getting her name…and returning her iPod. I'm glad that yesterday I took the time to rip the music off of it to put on Saku's little laptop. Her taste is pretty good when it comes to punk rock. Though I question the screamo bands she listens too.

"Taira!" she says, her face beaming. "I haven't seen you around for a while." It has actually been just over a week. Maybe even less.

"Yeah," I agree with her passively while adjusting the bass guitar on my back in order to get the red iPod out of my back pocket. "I have something that belongs to you."

Her eyes widen when I hand it to her. She resembles a fish out of water. She turns it over in her hands a few times; checking for additional scratches no doubt and seems amazed that it's in the same condition she remembers.

"It fell out of you backpack the last time we saw each other. I really couldn't catch you, you were sprinting way to fast," I try to explain, gesturing with my hands. The last thing I need is for her to think I'd taken it. If I hadn't gotten rid of the thing I think my conscience would have killed me. Well, for the past couple of days my conscience has been nagging at me so I'm probably just as happy as she is at the moment.

"By the way, I never got your name," I say sheepishly.

"I'm Rylie. Thank you so much Taira! You saved my life just now," she says right before she steps forward and wraps her arms around my torso. Unsuspecting, I'm stiff in shock and just plain awkward looking to any passer-by. The birds in the trees around us are snickering at me, I just know it.

When Rylie pulls away all I can do is mutter something that sounds like, "Y-you're welcome." I'm so level-headed sometimes. I amaze myself.

"How can I repay you?" She ponders this for a moment and then seems to draw an idea out of her ass, "Oh, I know! I can draw something for you! How about that? Do you need any graphic work done? Unless you have something else in mind?"

She doesn't even say that suggestively but yet I can feel a hormonal tug and I have to mentally slap myself. Otherwise my body could do something embarrassing. "Uh, yeah, a drawing sounds cool." Focussed, keep self focussed, I let the devil cycle that one around in my head for a while as I squeeze my eyes shut for an extra couple milliseconds to hopefully clear my head of any particularly dirty ideas. Why did I have to listen to Ryusuke's account of him and his fuck buddy? Why?

"Rylie, huh," I say the name slowly just in case I may be pronouncing it wrong. I'm just tasting it. It sounds kind of strange, not a name I often hear in Japan. Actually, I had only heard it once before now and if I could recall correctly it was the name of a dog on an English TV show that Ryusuke watched once when the band was crammed into his fish shack.

She laughs, "It is kind of unusual, isn't it? My Grandfather named me after my Great-Great Grandmother who was Canadian and died as a result of defending people who otherwise would've been unfairly condemned to death during the Great Depression. So it's kind of like the name of a hero, only a little closer to home, you know?"

Oh.

_Okay._

Embarrassingly enough I zone out and find myself immersed in the graphic on her shirt while she continues talking about her heritage. I can't help it; I'm a very visual musician. It's a design with colours that appeal to me for some reason, that or it's just the way the design accents her chest. That's it; I'm never letting Ryusuke talk about his non-girlfriend again. Unfortunately, before I can figure out either or I'm brought back to reality by a certain word. A word used in modern everyday speech to dictate a number of different things. I stayed up late last night doing that one word and my mind's fuzzy as a result.

"-play? Hey, you play?" she indicates the gig bag on my back holding my precious bass. She seems genuinely curious about my instrument, if her bright features reveal anything to me.

Finally, something I'm totally and utterly confident to talk about. "Yeah, I'm the bassist for a band called Beck. We play rock mostly but our singer raps so in a way we're kind of like Rage Against The Machine only less electronic sounding since we don't use as many effects. We're pretty underground though so you've probably never heard of us, right?" I laugh at the sad, sad truth. Our fan base is growing steadily, but not that quickly. She smiles almost apologetically: she hasn't heard of my band.

"What kind of bass is it?"

"A four string MusicMan StingRay, it's got a white body and a black pick guard." I almost go on to describe the other aspects of my favourite bass like what kind of wood the fretboard is or the unique 'StingRay' growl that I'm so fond of but I'm not sure if that would bore her to death or not. Likely it would. Every time I open my mouth to say something bass related I usually get shut down pretty quickly by either Ryusuke or…no, usually just Ryusuke. He can't stand me when I'm in 'bass' mode. That is, when I speak to a great extent about crap that he doesn't particularly understand. Ryusuke feels he must be all knowing in all subjects the band members speak about. In that way he is rather controlling.

"Ahh, that's a sweet bass. I played one once but I find it's like trying to hold a baseball bat. Really awkward weight too," she muses.

I arch my eyebrows at this, "You _played_ one once?"

Her expression turns sour and I think I must've said something wrong because now she's giving me a glare that speaks volumes. "Don't think that just because I'm a girl I can't play bass! God, you men are so daft. Strutting around like peacocks all day, jeez."

"I strut? Wait, no, I didn't mean it like that! I was just surprised you played bass, that's all!" Five minutes into the conversation and I've already rubbed her the wrong way. I have a feeling this is going to be like trying to tell Chiba to lay off on the beer. Hard and with minimal results.

"What, so I look like a drummer to you!"

"N-no, I never said that!"

"Ah, then it's the whole girls and guitars thing isn't it? Well, I'm no Joan Jett thank you very much."

At this point I actually wonder just where this stuff is coming from. I really have to tell myself not to get worked up over it and try to use my wonderful voice of logic to communicate with her. Okay, here goes.

"I meant I had no idea you played any kind of instrument. But, now that I do know I'm quite interested in just what kind of bass you play since you mentioned that mine is like a baseball bat." A baseball bat. That was pretty offensive. My poor bass, insulted. Actually, I feel rather insulted.

"I have a Ric."

A Ric? What's a-

"Holy crap, do you really! Aren't those like, super expensive?" I exclaim. I can't help it. Either she has wealthy parents or…she has wealthy parents. Damn, I can't even imagine owning a Rickenbacker. Now I feel completely insignificant. Just how good at making music is she though?

She catches my expression. "Well, I do work you know. It's just saving up for one of those took a while," she says. Yeah, like years of saving.

"So, what do you play then?" I ask her.

"Rock mostly. Screaming guitars, loud vocals, you know. Sometimes though we get kind of metal-ish since my drummer is psycho and that's just how she rolls. You can't stop her once she gets going so I try to prioritize the rhythm sections since I write most of my band's music. But not the lyrics. I write shit lyrics."

I refrain from saying, "you have a band?" and instead ask her what her band is called.

"Fidelity Flux. We're kind of low profile. At the moment anyways, we're hoping our ambient noise will pick up soon though. You know how it is."

I do. I really do. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"So far we've only been playing at really dinky bars but still, at least we're getting gigs, right?" She grins and I have to laugh, right.

"Yeah, well we started out at the very bottom too, you know. But then we got to play at Grateful Sound 5 which got us a bit of attention-"

"Holy flying shit!"

Now I thought that was just an expression. But, as my shoulder got plastered with white crap that fell from the sky, I knew instantly that she was warning me. How nice.

This is certainly one of those situations where you don't know whether to laugh or cry. For me I'm stuck in the middle so I just stand speechless like a dodo and stare at my shoulder. Thankfully I'm wearing a sweater and I can take it off when I break out of my stupor but still. Those goddamn birds. Always mocking me.

"Oh my God, Taira!"

Yes, oh my God. I just got splattered.

I strip off the sweater and contemplate just dropping the soiled garment and walking away without it. It would certainly save me from being the center of attention later at band practice since Saku would doubtlessly recount time and time again how I came in with shit all over my sweater.

I notice that Rylie's doubled over in laughter.

"It's not even that funny!" But somehow I'm laughing too because I think that someone up there (God?) has decided to give me an exciting day for once.

"But (gasp) you (gasp) hah!" She can't even form a coherent sentence.

"I (gasp) you didn't really mean (snort)-" Neither can I.

When she finally calms down enough to look at me without bursting into pretentious giggling spasms she whips out her cell phone. For one horrible instant I think she's going to get a picture of me all red-faced and holding a shit stained sweater. It would be on the internet and Saku would find it. He's technologically savvy.

"I need your number! You're just too funny! Are all the people in your band like this?"

"This was definitely a one time thing," I tell her truthfully. I haven't felt this humiliated since…sixth grade. I really don't feel like sharing that oh so special story since it involves water, cats and ketchup. And odd combination and definitely something I don't want to reminisce about. Once is enough for those kind of things. I hope that this too will never be brought up again.

We swap numbers and at that moment I think we really got to know each other better. I now knew her name, what instrument she played and what her band's name was. Hell, I take that back. I know next to nothing about her. Yet.

"So, I have to work. Pay them bills. I'll see you later though Taira, just give me a call!"

I watch her leave and float in elation back to my apartment, momentarily forgetting about what I held in my hands.

"What the _hell_ is that?" Saku asks as soon as I step through the door.

"Here," He's sitting on the ratty couch and I shove it into his lap. "Taste it and you'll find out."

* * *

"See that Saku, I feel like one of those green plastic army men."

We're walking along a sidewalk downtown and the hugest barrage of green plasticy things has caught my attention. Of course it's a toy shop and, well, I'd never go in there for the life of me. But those green plastic army men…we have similar qualities.

Saku just gives me the most slaphappy look and asks me if I took one too many Advils or something. Kids, they just don't understand.

I've waited at attention for two days now, hoping she's going to call me. Of course maybe I should be the one calling her, I don't know. I just don't want to appear too eager, in case she thought I was kind of stalker-ish. Not that I could be considered a stalker since I now knew her name but still, I didn't want to come off as creepy.

"Why are you constantly looking at your phone Taira?" asks Koyuki who is there with me and Saku. He's actually the reason why we're out today. We're just getting a gift card for Maho for her birthday from some boutique we're having issues finding. Saku's pretty much attached to Koyuki at the hip like glue or that annoying sister some people have and I'm just accompanying them because they are minors and I need some form of stimulation since today is my day off from work. Plus, I'm scouting for new ice cream parlours.

"He must be texting a girl," Saku whispers to Koyuki. They nod knowingly and then stare at me like I'm some sort of alien species. Apparently they don't think I'm paying attention to them.

"I can hear you thanks and no I am not texting anyone." But it is an idea. I wonder if Rylie has texting on her phone…hmmm. But, if I texted her instead of phoning her would I screw up and imply the complete opposite of what I mean? Hah, decisions, decisions.

We walk and walk and walk some more until finally Koyuki points out a store in the distance with a bright pink sign on the front. I'll bet that's the one we're looking for. I see Koyuki pull out a piece of paper which has the name of the store written on it and whatever else he managed to scribble without Maho knowing.

"Yeah, that's it right there," he says.

We approach and as soon as we get close enough to read some of the kanji we all recoil in shock and mixed degrees of fear.

"It's a lingerie store!" Saku says, stating what we all know. Koyuki is bright red and I'm beginning to think Maho is taking advantage of him. That or she's trying to imply something.

"What do we do Taira?"

How should I know?

They're both looking to me, the older male of the group, for guidance in this time of trial and error. For once I don't really know what we should do. It can't be a crime to go in there. Sure, it might be awkward as hell but if we have a reason…

"Let's just get this over with. Quickly."

I make sure Koyuki enters first since he was the one who brought this upon us. Saku and I don't even technically have to go in but I think I would feel worse standing outside while Koyuki looses his innocence alone so we follow him like brave soldiers. We are the green plastic army men in all our glory, blazing a trail for soldiers everywhere.

Inside is perhaps the biggest display of intimate apparel I have ever seen in my life. Even bigger than the pictures in Chiba's porno magazines. There is lace everywhere. It's oozing out the walls and I can tell Koyuki feels a little claustrophobic since he has more or less stopped breathing. Saku however is drinking in his surroundings like a raving animal.

"Can I help you boys?" An older woman snarls and I know just what she's thinking, three boys in a store specializing in lingerie can not look good. I feel like such a pervert. I almost want to run out right now and abandon the mission. Of course the little devil inside of me is not taking this lightly.

'_Woo, look at that thong! And that one! Oh, and that lacy bra, it's damn huge! Imagine the boobs! They would crush your-' _

Thank God Koyuki bumped into me, I think the devil almost had me for a second there.

"He's here to get… a gift card… for his girlfriend," I say since Koyuki has gone completely mute after looking at the old hag in front of us. His face has gone from cherry-red to sheet white and I can't blame him. She's got wrinkles like an overused dish towel and is wearing a much too revealing top that exposes saggy tatas that nobody here particularly wants to see. Her makeup is rather atrocious. Not to mention she's huge too to add to the picture. I couldn't get by her to save my life. I'm not superman.

She scrutinizes us, trying to see if we were serious. Saku can't be helping matters since he's not even with us at the moment. He's caught sight of the frilly purple bra display. His nose is bleeding all over the place and I'm glad that Mrs. Old 'N' Hairy has fixed her molten stare on me because if she devoted attention to him we would be paying for blood stained lingerie which would not be a good way to spend our hard earned cash.

"Right this way," she hisses, turning around and leading us deeper into the cavern of doom. I really don't want to follow now that I've spotted a humongous pink hippo sitting on top of a stand full of exercise videos. I can't even see past that thing. Thankfully we only have to go behind the hippo to get to the cash register where I hope the gift cards are. Objective almost achieved.

The elderly is behind the counter and sifting through heaps of strange exotic things I haven't seen before now. She can't find the gift cards obviously.

Oh no.

'_Oh YEAH! She's practically naked!'_

There is no way to describe the sinking feeling one gets when he is in a tight situation. My options are either jump off a cliff and brave the frigid waters below or face the raging bull when wearing bright, _bright_ red. Alternately I can hide behind a rock and hope the bull goes away soon.

Seeing as that is at the moment my best option I duck behind the huge pink monster and decide to wait out the bull or _bulls_. What bulls?

Rylie and some blonde-haired chick.

I can't lie, it's not that I don't welcome Rylie coming out of a dressing room wearing nothing but a bra and skimpy panties but seeing as how I'd just met her I don't really want to see her in such a place so soon in our relationship. Nothing in the world would end a friendship quicker.

Koyuki's fiddling with his wallet timidly and ends up dumping the contents onto the counter. He's got mostly change. At this rate we'll be here all day while he counts it out. But, at least the old hag has found the gift cards. That's a real plus.

I feel dirty now because I can't help but sneak a few looks at her from my position. I feel like I'm actually in the video game Call Of Duty or something. Chiba and I play it all the time. This certainly feels exactly like it. Except minus the fluffiness and pink spandex undies.

Meanwhile Saku hasn't moved from his spot staring at the purple bra display. I think he has grown roots. Right now though he is out of sight behind the hippo so at least when I introduce him to Rylie somewhere down the line she wont remember him as the perverted guy in the underwear shop.

That is assuming I get out of here alive.

'_Woohoo! Check it out! I like that pair on her personally.'_

Argh, stupid devil! Shut up!

'_What are you doing! Turn around! She's not even facing us! Let's check out her ass!'_

No! I have moral values…

'_Just a peek?'_

"…"

Oh God, she has a great – argh! Why did I turn around!

'_Oh baby! That was hot!'_

No, go away! You aren't welcome anymore! Wait, you were never welcome to begin with!

I continue to fight with myself internally. Somehow Koyuki learned to count and before I know it he's next to me with a bright neon pink package in his hand. We regroup and I make sure to conceal myself every opportunity I get as we make our way slowly back to Saku.

It's hard to dislodge him and for several seconds I actually believe he has taken root and is now sucking nutrients out of the feminine ground around us.

"Saku! Move it!"

"Nguunmyunnn," he mumbles. I grab hold of his arm and gesture for Koyuki to do the same but for some odd reason the purple bra display holds his attention too. Kids these days. What the hell is with them? Why, at a time like this?

I momentarily cover their eyes and that seems to bring both of them back from their fantasies. We stumble out of the store and into the streets, blinking at the harsh light of the sun. Sweet sun, how I've missed you so.

I'm walking fast, nearly running just to get away from the vicinity. Saku and Koyuki are also jog-running beside me. Neither knows why we're suddenly running. I just want to get away. There is no way I'm ever going in that shop again, or any shop like it. I feel as filthy as the time I discovered Ryusuke's collection of pin-ups from New York. That was pretty bad too.

"Taira, where are we going?" Koyuki shouts.

"Nguunmyunnn," Saku repeats, louder this time to make sure he's heard. I think he has a little something lodged in his throat. That or his pants are on fire. After seeing a certain someone I know mine are.

I'm not stopping for anything. I'm going straight home to take a cold shower and watch some TV or something, anything to get my mind off of Rylie in frilly dainties with her friend.

"Oh my God, ice cream stand!" I breathe a sigh of relief and dart across the road to where a young guy is manning a stand full of my favourite treat. He does not look happy to see me for some reason, even though I'm a paying customer who feels as though he just ran a marathon.

"Taira!"

"If he doesn't watch it he's going to get hit by a bus!"

"You know, he doesn't usually act so…on the edge like this!"

"Maybe Chiba's finally getting to him!"

Saku and Koyuki wait for the light to cross the road and by that time I've acquired a double scoop chocolate chip and cookie dough ice cream cone. More than half is gone by the time they get one for themselves. Its good stuff, very cold, cools you down quick.

Yet the images will continue to burn my mind.

* * *

It is in this fit of craziness that I decided to prolong my call to Rylie. I needed at least a week or two to recuperate. If I called her any time soon I think I would end up spilling the big 'secret adventure' to her. The guilt is clawing at my stomach and on down to my nether regions. I'm not particularly fond of all of this pent up sexual energy.

"Taira, did you call to confirm that we're playing next week at the Whiskey?" Ryusuke asks after practise the following day. I hadn't done so much as play my bass since the little episode yesterday. Nothing else could get my mind off of her. I don't think I'll even be able to play Call Of Duty with Chiba anymore for fear of having a huge pink hippopotamus show up on the screen. I'll have you know I am above screaming like a schoolgirl thank you very much.

"Here, pass me my phone and I'll do it right now," I say. I left my phone on top of my amp which Ryusuke happens to be sitting on top of. He picks it up and flips it open, a reflexive move.

"Hey, who's Yuna?" he asks. He must be scrolling through my contacts.

"That's my Aunt."

"And Mrs. Yukazawa?"

"My really, _really_ old bass teacher."

"Oh. Wow. Wait, who's Rylie?"

"Give me my phone. Now."

He seems to sense the threatening tone in my voice but being the obnoxious twat that he is known to be at times he instead pushes the speed dial button. And, before I can react, he's got the phone up against his ear and a devilish smile on his face. I may very well kill him.

I fly over equipment but he's already on the move. I think he knows exactly who she is and for some spontaneous reason I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that he's psychic or something and is about to inform Rylie about my adventure in pantyland. What can I say; the mind goes ballistic in pressing situations.

"Hello?" He starts. "Is this Rylie?"

I hear gibberish spewing out of the phone from someone on the other side and I am horrified to find that someone answered the phone after all.

"Ritsu? Ah, no, never mind, wrong number."

He clicks the phone shut and tosses it to me.

"Some chick named Ritsu answered the phone. Man, whoever she is she's fucking scary. It sounded like she was drunk or high or some other shit-"

I let him go off jabbering on about Ritsu and cradle my phone, glad that he didn't ruin my chance to speak to Rylie by pretending to be me or something. For once in my life things don't turn out too awfully. Maybe because Koyuki wasn't in the room at the time or something, I don't know.

I call the Whiskey to confirm our performance there in a few days and then I leave for home. But, on the way I can't stop wondering about this Ritsu person. Did Rylie give me someone else's number? Did she not intend to talk to me after getting her iPod back? But she initiated the phone number swap in the first place!

The thought bubble in my head consists of: Rylie, bass, Chiba's drinking problem, Rylie, new bass strings, Koyuki's date with Maho and whether or not he would talk to her about our adventure, Rylie, a new van, Rylie, Rylie's phone number…

Damn. I'm thinking too much again. At this rate all my hair is going to go permanently white and fall out or something.

I have to call her.

Then invite her to the gig Saturday night.

And with that plan I pick up my phone and dial the number.

* * *

There we have it. Chapter 3; I hope you enjoyed it! Taira's starting to get a little paranoid, isn't he? Then again who can blame him after what happened? Hah, Saku…makes me laugh so hard. Sorry but there were so many pervy parts in the original manga that it just had to be done.

Poor Rylie, I really killed her character too! XD Ah well, we'll all find out just why she was shopping for undies that particular afternoon next chapter. Won't we?

Also, **huge** joyous shout out to **Amaris Solbes** who is my one and only reviewer and motivator! Hopefully someone else will join my loyal follower!

Seriously, that review button looks **awfully** clickable, doesn't it?

~Reiki


	4. The Pedophile’s My Manager

**Author's Note**: Ugh, I'm sick! I hate being sick! The mind gets all fuzzy and stuff so if this chapter is especially weird than blame it on my cold. Aw well, the plot is now moving forward! I think…well, things are about to happen, you know, between Rylie and Taira but still, you can't have two characters fall in love too quickly…cause that never happens in real life!

There's quite a few scene skips in this chapter. I had to do that to move the story along so bear with me and hopefully it'll make some sense.

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain random people. I also don't own the rights to anything by Jaco Pastorius.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and later scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 4 – The Pedophile's My Manager

* * *

"Chi, I cannot believe we had to go to a lingerie store," I complain as soon as we get out of there. Ever since I told her about Taira she's been trying to get me to stop eating fast food between my shifts at the local convenience store and has taken me out to shop for stuff I can't even afford.

"I'm sure Taira will appreciate it!" She states gleefully. She's walking on air right now as we continue the search for clothes. So far I've gone into more than ten different clothing stores and four shoe stores. She has a fetish and I can't even hope to control it.

I have to roll my eyes at her schoolgirl ways, "He probably has a girlfriend already."

She sniffs. To her it doesn't matter.

"So what, just show up on his doorstep wearing that and he'll dump her faster than Ritsu after she's had one too many energy drinks."

He hasn't even called me back yet. I'm beginning to wonder if he's forgotten about me. That or I've gone and scared him off. Which would be just the thing I would do.

* * *

"Ritsu! I thought I told you not to drink the entire six pack yourself! Now you're going to be sick all over the place!"

"Mmm, Rylie, I just got the weirdes-s-t call on your c-s-ell phone!" She's teetering around our flat and Chi has vanished into the washroom to reapply her make-up or whatever she does in there.

"Sit down," I order. She flops on the couch in a squelch and turns on the television, probably to watch pro wrestling. She is a huge fan of any type of physical sport. It must come with being a drummer or something because that's a very physical instrument to play. Sitting there on the throne pounding the living daylights out of the skins…is very physical indeed.

Chi joins her on the couch and, having nothing better to do, I try to squeeze between the two of him. Ah, I'm crushed by Ms. Drunk and Ms. Lion's Mane! This couch, more like a loveseat, really isn't big enough for three people. Nonetheless the human sardine that is me will achieve yet another test of wills and actually attempt to make this comfortable. So I push Ritsu off the couch (thing) and, *thump*, she is on the floor. At this point she is so out of it that she probably thinks she's still on the couch. Poor thing.

"It was l-like this dude and da dude was all l-like 'Is dis Rylie?' and I was l-like 'Shit bro, youz all fuckin' call Rylie' and he goes-"

"Ritsu, _what_ are you talking about?" Chi asks. I'm wondering the same thing seeing as I'm hearing broken bits and pieces of my name throughout the slur of words she's speaking. She seems to be trying to convey a message of some sort.

"Some dude called for Rylieand I gave him shit!" She says proudly. She puffs her chest out like a buffoon in all its glory.

"Really? I'll bet it was Taira! Right? RIGHT!"

Chi is rapturous now and I can't help but feel slightly flattered that she's so in to finding me 'the man of my dreams'. She's been doing this for years and every single time she has failed. So, naturally when she heard I had an encounter with someone who seemed to have lots in common with me she went absolutely ballistic. Compare it to setting off an atomic bomb in the washroom. Ugh.

"Well, if i-it was Taira e sounded purdy dense…" Ritsu slurs and takes the remote to change channels. I glare at her profusely. Taira is not dense. At least he didn't seem to be…

"Hmph, no way, I'll bet it wasn't Taira after all since Taira's smart." Since when does Chi know Taira's IQ?

"Yeah, right. That's-s what you always s-say."

I left the two to their bickering and decide to feed the cat. Yes, of all the things in this apartment there lives a little grey tabby cat. His name is Ralph. I did not name him, Ritsu did. She's very fond of the name Ralph for some reason since it seems to not only be the name of the cat but also the nickname for the band's van. Yes, she's strange like that.

"Why did we name the van Ralph again?" I ask for what has to be the quadrillionth time since I formed the band years ago. I don't even know why I bother asking any more. The times before now I have gotten everything but a lucid answer.

"Because," Ritsu starts, "we're all s-single and we need uh man in our lives."

I ponder this for a moment. I thought that was why we got the cat. _Right_. "So, a man-van, Ritsu? Really?" I enjoy mocking her peculiarity. Esspecially when she's drunk out of her skull.

"Oh, yes. Our macho tough and good-looking man-van has-s yet to fail us when it really counts!" She's rolling around on the floor in fits of laughter and Chi and I have to concentrate on ignoring her snorts and grunts. Apparently she thinks this is very comical.

She's scared Ralph the cat and he's taken to hiding under the sofa. Ralph never really took to Ritsu the same way he took to me. Instead he claws her every time she tries to pick him up. My theory why that is so is that when we took the cat to be neutered Ritsu happened to be the one who held him at that critical time in his feline life. Ever since then he's been skittish around her. Then again I can't blame him. I would be too.

Suddenly my phone rings somewhere within the room.

"Ritsu, where's my phone?" I ask. She mumbles something that I don't catch. "What?"

"I says: it's-s probably in the couch s-somewhere."

I search the couch, taking off all of the cushions and dropping Chi on the floor next to Ritsu in an epidemic of trying to find my cell phone. Meanwhile it's still ringing. Ringing isn't really the right word for it. It's _blasting_ a Dying Breed song, one of their heavier tunes and I can't for the life of me pinpoint where the hell the damn piece of plastic is.

"Ralph's got a mouse!" Chi screeches, grabbing me in terror. She's one of those girls who are deathly afraid of rodents. I can't really understand it. Wouldn't the rodent be more afraid of you?

"Dummy, that's not a mouse, it looks like a rat," Ritsu states calmly, completely unaware of Chi's state of alarm. Chi is beyond petrified now even though if it is a rat that Ralph's got it's most likely dead. I've seen that cat rip the head off of a bird once or twice. Oh, the food chain, what a glorious and yet sick examination of the pecking order.

I walk over despite still being on the hunt for my cell which is still ringing and see what Ralph has got.

Damn cat has my phone, go figure.

Eww, it's slobbery but I need to answer this very persistent person on the other end. I really hope it's someone I want to talk to…like Taira.

"Hello?"

There's silence on the other end. I repeat my greeting.

"Oh, hello!" It's a man who has finally chosen to answer. "This is your manager."

Oh.

_Shit_.

"Ahh, I'm so, so sorry I forgot to call you, Mr. Yamada, sir!"

"It's not a problem Rylie, you and the others were probably practising, right?"

No. We were watching the pro wrestling channel. "Yes, yes of course. We have a few new songs we're working on. They have sort of a more punk, hardcore sound to them. Maybe we'll play them at the end of the week when we play the Rock-sie."

I hear the voices of other people in the background as I wait to see if he's even heard me. Mr. Yamada is such a busy guy. He's signed a small number of other indie bands besides us and recently the record company has had some interest from another label about merging together to form a larger company. Music world politics make some sense to me but then again that's stretching it.

"Sounds good."

I can't tell if the guys speaking to me or somebody in the background.

"Good," I say slowly, testing to see if he's been with me.

"Yes." Okay, so he has been talking to me. "That's good news. But I need you girls to come down here so I can properly propose an offer for your band's recent popularity growth."

We've been growing in popularity? Has that internet site that he made for us attracted more fans? I guess I'll just ask him when we get downtown at the companies base. "Oh…all right, what time should we come?" He has that damn busy schedule.

"Are you girl's free today?"

I have no idea about Kim since she's the only one I don't happen to live with but regardless I say, "Sure, what time?"

"Any time between now and 6:00 would be great."

"Alright."

"See you later then Rylie."

Click.

I stare at the phone. What the hell does Mr. Yamada want to say to us that he can't say over the phone? I sigh, now we have to go all the way to the other side of town. He's done this a couple times to us and usually for silly reasons. Knowing him he's just going to tell us that the merge between his company and another indie label is coming along smoothly. Oh, brother.

"Who was that Rylie? Was it Taira?" Ritsu puckers her lips and makes kissy noises.

"No, that was our crazy manager."

Chi perks up, "Oh. Mr Yamada? What did he want now? Don't tell me he wants us to use our femininity to-"

"No! No. He just wants us to go down to his office so he can talk to us." The last great plan our hormonal driven manager had was when he suggested kissing booths as a great way to earn fans. Yeah, the male variety. Or not, it depends how some girls roll. I can respect that. But still the fact remains that I really don't want to acquire fans of our music like that.

"Oh, I'll phone Kimi then and tell her we'll pick her up." Chi grabs her phone and starts dialling her number.

"Ugh, why can't we just walk or take the subway? Why do we have to take the van?"

"What? And miss the opportunity to make the van backfire? Where's your sense of adventure?" Chi says, before launching into a conversation with Kim on the other end.

In no time at all we pile into Ralph (the van) with me behind the wheel and Ritsu spread across the backseat. I brought a bucket along with us just in case she has to empty her stomach at a rather inconvenient moment. She is still hung-over after all.

Kim's waiting for us at the end of her block so as to sneak off without telling her parents, I'm sure. Unlike the rest of us she still does live with her mother and father. Both are none to happy that their daughter is a rock-n-roller. But, before rock and roll and playing lead guitar for Fidelity Flux Kim didn't have much going for her so in a way I'm sure her parents are grateful for the band.

Or not.

As we pull up to Kim who's standing on the sidewalk with her guitar slung over her back I notice a green Suzuki car pull up opposite the van. Kim shudders and before I know it her parents are on us like dogs to cats. Vicious unyielding, and all-together none to friendly.

"I will not permit you to go off with a bunch of drunk girls!" Her father yells, closing the space between Kim and our van. She can't hop in now with her father in the way.

"They're not drunk!" Kim tries to defend us. She's partially right, not all of us are drunk.

"You've been neglecting your school work to play guitar with these drop-outs!" he rages on. I see his wife is lingering on the other side of the road, uncertainly. Now I know where Kim gets her shyness from.

Kim is silent. I may have finished school but Ritsu dropped out before her senior year was over so she can't exactly be vouched for. Chi and Kim go to the same high school and they're both rushing through their senior year. I've heard from Chi that Kim's grades are indeed slipping because of the heavy band practise we've been having lately. Unlike Chi she's somewhat weaker academically and finding the time to do homework is hard when you're in a band that's trying to make it.

I get out of the van but signal to Chi to just stay put and keep an eye on Ritsu. God knows what she would do if she got out here.

"We're meeting with our band's manager, sir, and we're already late," I say, hoping that my voice sounds pleasant despite internally fighting my anger towards him for calling us all lowly scum. Well, he didn't say it yet but he's been implying it.

"That creepy old man? He's probably a pedophile, I am not going to let my daughter-"

"I'm going," Kim says quietly but loud enough to quiet her father's harsh words. He gapes at her and I'm surprised that she's being defiant. Usually she obeys her father, even in the most trying band situations where we need her.

Kim walks to Ralph's side and slides open the van door, "Are you coming Rylie?"

"Kimiko! What the hell do you think you're doing!" He snarls, red-faced and moving closer to me with a threatening fist raised. I think he's intent on taking Kim from us even if it means assault charges. I jump into the van in a hurry and slam the door.

In a flash I get it. That would explain why Kim's so afraid of men.

I have no intentions of running him over with Ralph but when he doesn't move from the front of the van I rev the engine as a warning.

"If you leave you can't come back!"

Kim puts a shaky hand on my shoulder from the back seat. "Just go," she says.

And as I back up into the street and into oncoming traffic another member of Fidelity Flux becomes homeless.

* * *

"What's so important that you had to call us down here?" I ask as soon as we arrive inside Mr. Yamada's office. He's got several stacks of paper lying around and a lot of second-hand furniture. Such is the norm for a small indie label.

Mr. Yamada himself is a bit strange looking. He's old, that much we can gather from his grey hair and wrinkled forehead but he's also rail-thin. His cheek bones and his nose protrude out of his face like blunt knives, distinct and slightly unnatural. He also tends to wear nothing but the same old grey suit with a tie that is much to short to be considered formal wear. Really, he's the kind of guy who scares people off easily. At this point in time I have no idea how he's managed to secure another company to unite with him.

"Yes, well, you girls know about the merging of our company with-"

"Yes, yes, we know all about that!" Ritsu cuts in impatiently since she's still feeling a headache and queasy stomach as a result of her careless drinking. I send a glare her way; we could get dropped from the label at any time. It's all a gamble in the music industry.

"Well, anyways we were thinking of sending you off on an American tour."

Nobody says anything and I think that if I dropped a pin it would sound like an earthquake. It's that deadly silent. He's just dropped the biggest bomb of our teenage lives. Even bigger than the moment he agreed to sign us onto his label. This is America we're talking people, the United Frickin' States of America! The boiling-hot center of the music world.

"Seriously?" All four of us ask in unison.

He nods like he's got it all figured out which I know he has since he's one of those get-it-done-quick kind of people. For all I know he could be planning on putting us on a plane tomorrow. I wouldn't even be surprised.

"Actually, the company we will be merging with came up with the idea. You see they want you girls to tour with one of their bands since both of you put out an album in the last six months, right?" I nod; we put out our second small album just three months ago. The sales on it are somewhat alright, but the royalties aren't quite enough to live off of.

"So, it's a promotional tour with another band who'll be trying to promote their record?" Chi asks, needing the clarification.

"That's right. This other band has a similar style, not quite sound but general style."

Ritsu snorts indignantly, "Please say they're not a fucking pop band."

"No, not at all. Weren't you listening, I said they have the same sort of style! No pop band could be like you guys."

I feel proud, we're so unique.

"And since we will be merging together there is no real competition to sell more records than the other band. It'll just be a promo that the company will support. Well, somewhat. We can only fund the hotels you and the other band will be staying at and perhaps gas money, we'll see. Food and necessities will have to come out of your own pockets."

"Sounds good to me," Ritsu says. "It'll be cool to bring our music to America."

Ritsu is so underestimating this.

"So, this band, what are they called? Are they a Japanese band or not?" I ask fretfully since I know that's the question on everyone's mind. I'm just dieing to know what band put out a CD in the past six months. Everyone's afraid to ask in case it's some kind of no-name band. Then our tour would be harder since not only would we be pulling the weight of our band but since the labels would be merging we would be pulling the weight of theirs as well.

"They're called the Mongolian Chop Squad."

"Woah, say that again, the Mongolian what-a-what?" Ritsu holds her head and it's evident that she's still suffering from pain. Nothing's holding with her at the moment. No wonder she's taking the prospect of America so lightly.

"Mongolian Chop Squad," Mr Yamada repeats once again, slowly this time for Ritsu's benefit. Ritsu tilts her head curiously; it's kind of hard to swallow important information when one is drunk out of one's mind.

"Wow, what a mouth full. I wonder what the heck the story behind that name is," I say with a laugh. Ritsu and Chi are giggling and even Kim has cracked a smile, the first one of the day. She's been sombre and hasn't said anything since being practically disowned earlier. When I asked her about it she just shrugged and told me it was going to happen sooner or later.

"They're Japanese. Actually, I think their manager said they hail from this district too. I thought you beautiful girls would know them."

"Really, I've never heard of them," Chi confides. The rest of us agree; either we just didn't happen to hear the word about them or they're even more underground than we are. For the sake of the tour I hope the former is true.

"Well, we'll get more information for you later on. Right now the tour is more or less finalized. The first city will be Los Angeles in three weeks from now."

"Three weeks!" Chi screeches with the power to make windows shatter. Three weeks is hardly enough time to prepare to tour in another country. Sometimes I hate our manager; he's an insane guy with unrestrained ambition, the only thing we have in common with him. Risks have to be taken if we ever hope to make a name for ourselves.

"You girls should be fine, Rylie sings in English anyways," he tries to reason. I can only nod; I do sing in English but only because it adds a whole other level to our music. For some reason in Japan when I sing in Japanese our songs make little impact. Besides, I find it hard to sing in Japanese. So I switched to singing in English because then we were the most inimitable band around. And that means I stay true to my Canadian heritage too, haha.

"Well, I say bring it on motherfuckers!" Ritsu pumps her fist in the air with true gusto. She's the heart of the band. Without her we would be quaking in our high heels right about now.

* * *

Ralph brings us home safely and now the apartment feels even more crowded than before with Kim's presence. But, in a way this is good: we'll be able to spend time together getting used to each other before the tour and hopefully we'll grow tighter as a band and as friends. That or we'll end up murdering one another with butter knives.

The next two weeks go by in a flurry of practicing and work. We sometimes spend entire days inside the studio. Chi's fingers bled horribly yesterday which is the only reason we decided to take two days off. That and we need to save money that usually goes towards studio fees for the upcoming tour. Today is Friday and also the last Friday we have in Japan for a month. Next week, more specifically, next _Friday_, we'll be on a plane to kick-off our tour.

I'm sceptical whether or not it will be worth it. And, I wonder how bad my English really is. I haven't spoken to another English-speaking person in…oh no, I don't even know how long it's been.

We still haven't gotten word back from our manager about the Mongolian Chop Squad. They're still a mystery as big as Ritsu's alcohol consumption rate. Kim and I are equally anxious so we went asking around one day but we didn't find out much more than the fact that they're a five-piece rock band. Oh, and that they were all men who played rock. But, that was all we found out. I was hoping to find out whether or not they had put out any CDs before the one they put out 'six months ago'. They obviously didn't use the same studio as we did or else we probably would've been able to uncover more dirt about them.

"I just hope they have some fans. Hell, do we even have any U.S. fans?" Kim's once again in that paranoid phase that shows she worries more than anyone else in Fidelity Flux does. Then again, she's now on her own and has to really plan out her future. The band is all we have left now, I've finished with school, Ritsu's a drop-out, Chi and Kim are both on their final exams tomorrow before being finished with school forever…we're all free to do whatever we want and that in itself is a scary thought.

"Well, our manager wouldn't send us out like this if he wasn't sure of long-term results. Same goes for this other band, right?" I hope. I have no idea what the manager for the other label is like so I can't make too many assumptions.

"I suppose," she says, still a little unsure.

I hear 'Portrait of Tracy' and know that someone is trying to reach me on my cell phone. Must be Mr. Yamada, hopefully with some more information for us. The closeted pervert owes us that much.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Rylie?"

I have no idea who the hell this is. It isn't Mr Yamada, that's for sure. Mr Yamada has such a raspy voice. To the point of being almost painful to listen to. "This is."

"It's Taira, you know, the guy who returned your iPod."

"Oh! Hello! Of course I remember you!" I think my voice just shot up several octaves. The girls in the room all cringe and stare in wonder at me. I decide that before I get questioned about who the hell is on the other side, to go outside so as not to be bothered.

"My band's having a gig tomorrow night and I was just wondering if you were interested in seeing us perform. Well, I mean, since you have a band and all-"

"I'd love to go! Uh, where is it?"

"At the Whiskey a GO-GO. We start at 7:00pm but the opening band starts at 6:00 so if your band is free maybe you guys can check us out. We'd appreciate it."

"Cool, see you tomorrow then!"

"Yeah, see you."

I hang up with butterflies in my stomach, which I find odd since I only talked to him over a phone. But still, he called after all! Even after two weeks! Male interest, after all these lonely single months!

"I have a date with Taira!" I scream. Ritsu covers her ears and rolls around on the floor while Chi is screaming and jumping for joy showing more enthusiasm than I'm feeling.

"I knew it! He doesn't have a girlfriend! Oh my goodness! What are you going to wear!" she screeches and Ritsu groans, her hang-over giving her a splitting headache no doubt.

Something occurs to me then. "Well, actually, wait, I don't really think it's a date…"

"WHAT!" Chi cries out. "What do you mean! Of course it's a date! He asked you somewhere!"

"Well, yeah," I say. "But, it's not like a date, date, you know? And he actually invited us all to see his band perform. They're called Beck, if I remember correctly."

Chi looks like she's going to ball her eyes out. I have no idea why though since she's not the one with the non-date sort of problem. I just really hope he doesn't introduce me to his girlfriend or something. Oh God, would that ever be awkward. I'd probably end up ripping her throat out or something of that gruesome nature.

"You have to at least wear the underwear we bought! Seriously, what if he makes a move! You have to wear the purple bra and panty set! It goes perfectly with your skin tone!"

"Chi, do you mind not discussing this!" We're all girls but still...sometimes it gets a little...I dunno, awkward?

She sniffs sadly, "Please…we spent so much time picking it out!"

"Well," I start. She looks at me and I know she's making herself tear up using pure female willpower. Damn, but she's so believable! "Alright, just because we spent so much time in that god-forsaken hellhole."

I get the wind knocked out of me when the European chick clobbers me in glee.

* * *

Saturday came and found me all alone in the middle of downtown, right outside the Whisky. Taira had phoned me earlier and told me that he'd be meeting me right where I am now standing. Now all I have to do is wait for him to show up. He's probably with his band which is understandable.

It was Chi's idea that _only _I would go to see the band play. I guess she's still holding on to the faint hope that Taira has some interest in me as more than a fellow musician. Whatever, I'll humour her for the time being. At least now I don't have to worry about Ritsu drinking tonight…

"Rylie!"

I see Taira with two other dark haired guys, one who's got rather squinty eyes and the other who has an almost baby-doll face. They're kind of young looking. Taira has to be at least two years older than both of them. Beck isn't a high school band, right? Oh, wonderful, don't tell me I'm attending a gig where the band is just playing in an attempt to be popular at their high school.

"Hey! I was beginning to wonder when you were going to show up," I say cheerfully, hoping he gets my joking. He's only late by five minutes. Hardly an issue but I'm a prompt person by nature.

"Yeah, sorry about that, Ryusuke, our lead guitarist, was being a real lemon."

"He isn't so good with live performances for some reason. He gets kind of sick to his stomach if he doesn't have some kind of alcohol in his system," the squinty-eyed kid says.

"By the way these guys are part of Beck. That's Saku, short for Sakurai, he's our drummer." The squinty-eyed kid smiles when Taira introduces him and I can't help but return his smile, it's kind of contagious. "And that's Yukio, but everyone calls him Koyuki."

"Aww, that's cute," I say, because it is. It suits him in a way that can hardly be described.

Koyuki blushes and Saku laughs, the friendship between them becoming eminent to me. Saku has a really jolly laugh, it induces everyone else to laugh along with him and we all do.

"Hey, you look kind of familiar," I say, looking over this Saku guy. I think I've seen him before…somewhere…

Taira is sporting a nervous look. The colour has drained from his face. "M-Maybe you went to the same school as him."

"Yeah, that could be it. What school do you go to?" I ask politely.

Saku smiles, "Both Koyuki and I went to Ichieda High School at some point. But high school was kind of iffy; both of us are drop-outs." He laughs nervously, "We couldn't manage the band and the stress of school. We had to choose one or the other sooner rather than later. And you can guess which one we chose."

I grin. Saku seems really nice and genuine. "Actually, I went to the school right across the street, so maybe we passed each other once upon a time."

Taira seems to relax his overly stiff stance. Maybe he was nervous about what I would think of his band mates, who knows. He's really hard to read. I know that if Ritsu were here right now I would be worried about first impressions. Then again Ritsu's in a whole other league of outlandish. At least his band mates are pretty tame.

The atmosphere is light, that is until both the younger boys leave Taira and me alone in order to console their lead guitarist and find their vocalist, a guy whose name is Chiba I learn.

"So, I guess your band couldn't come, huh?" He asks suddenly.

Rather than explain Chi's theory to him I come up with a compulsive little white lie, "They were all too tired out from practice earlier. We're really slamming in the studio. We had a gig last week at the Rock-sie that went pretty well but we're still a long way from the top, if you know what I mean." Okay, so half of that is true. We _did_ have a practise earlier, and we _did_ have a gig last week. Hell, I'm kind of tired from practise so…it's not much of a lie.

"Yeah, I understand. Ryusuke's been pushing everyone harder than usual lately too since this'll be out last gig in a while. That's why I was hoping you'd come."

Embarrassingly enough I can feel the heat rising on my cheeks, "Ahh, yes, well, I'm kind of sorry I didn't invite you to hear us play last week. It didn't cross my mind at the time. So much going on, you know?"

He nods absentmindedly and continues to make small talk with me while I vaguely wonder when he has to be backstage. I can hear the opening band from outside the venue. Didn't he say he's playing right after them? I voice my thoughts and receive a bit of shock. He seems to have lost track of time.

"Oh, yeah, I should get going, but I'll see you after, right?"

"Of course, wanna just meet here?"

"Sure."

I follow him inside, the smell of alcohol and sweaty bodies hitting me in the face with the force of a thrown brick and get an admittance ticket while he heads backstage to reunite with his band. I can't help but get excited when I claw my way to the front of the stage once the opening band finishes up and the audience breaks apart a little bit. It's the adrenaline in here, the static that the crowd produces just before the performance goes on. Everyone's waiting and before to long five guys come out onto the stage. I wave at the three guys I _do_ happen to know. I can't tell if they've seen me or not though. It's too dark on stage at the moment, I can't gage expressions.

But then neon orange and blue stage lights come on and blind everyone who has been concentrating too hard on the stage, including me. An elbow hits my side as more and more people crowd the stage, pushing me up against the barrier in front of the raised platform. The perspiring bodies encompass me, but this is the life I love after all so I don't mind in the slightest.

It's not long before they start.

Saku's drums resonate around the room as he starts the band off after counting them in with his drumsticks. Both of Beck's guitarists, Koyuki and a dark haired guy shredding on a Les Paul who I'm going to guess is Ryusuke are both playing straight from the soul, I can feel it and the others in the crowd who know what separates real hearty music from ambient noise can feel it too. And while the vocalist for the band has a rough unpolished voice it's raw and real and he has such an overpowering stage presence that he commands attention. I suppose this guy is Chiba, he's poised in an arc off the monitors and screaming the lyrics into the microphone right over the audiences' heads like a possessed mad-man but the crowd loves him. It's almost like he has a certain charisma, his rapping leaves the crowd hanging on every word. The more he raps the more he grows on me like that mouldy green fuzz in my refrigerator that is perhaps spoiled cheese that Ritsu bought at one point.

But I think it's Taira that holds them together. His bass lines are like nothing I've ever heard before and that's saying something coming from me, another bassist. They're nothing like my own, he has his own tone, made distinct by his StingRay and I can tell just by the way he's written the rhythm section that he has had various influences from all kinds of genres that have shaped him. I'm curious; how does he do it? How does he manage to sound so funky and yet keep his sound strictly rock and punk-oriented?

The chemistry is there in full force between everyone in Beck and that for sure solidifies their distinctive sound. I can't begin to imagine what the hell Chiba was thinking though when he went for a stage dive right down the middle of the audience before their last song. But then I understood; Koyuki was also a singer for the band. And when he sung his voice affected everyone in the room in different ways. Words cannot describe the power he held with his voice, but also the softness that captured everyone in the crowds' hearts. He sang of sinking to the bottom of everything and rising up out of the gloom to something better. His voice is inspiring, speaking of courage and hope and love, not just the kind reserved for a romance but for the addiction that is life itself.

Soon they finish up their last song and I'm standing next to a girl with a Mohawk and a guy who's twice the size of me and smells like spicy burritos. We all have something in common: we're screaming for just one more song to quench our thirst. Being the band that they are they oblige, only too readily, and play as if this is their last show of all time. And then it is over and I wonder how the hell I could've thought they were nothing more than your average run-of-the-mill high school band.

Chiba's got the mic and it looks like he has something really important to say if the look on his face says anything.

"Thanks for listening guys! Hopefully you'll pick up our CD. This is our last show for a while." Everyone in the audience, which grew bigger as the show progressed, groans. Someone shouts why and I know the band has heard. "Why?" That's 'cause we're going to be touring America!"

_What?_

* * *

AN: If you're confused you just have to keep in mind that Taira didn't tell Rylie Beck's American name was Mongolian Chop Squad. So she was pretty surprised.

By now you'll have noticed that I don't do the whole last names thing. Sorry about that. It's just if I do that then it'll be more for everyone to remember and with the amount of OCs in this story it's just not possible. Aw well, whatever.

So, a tour in America, huh? Just to make this clearer, the story takes place after Beck's first American tour and also after they released their CD 'Human Fly'. But not before 'Tabasco'. So they're still pretty inexperienced.

Still, the plot thickens! Will our two lovers be able to stand the sight of one another after a lengthy tour? And what will Chiba think of Ritsu? Tune in for the next instalment of Gigs from Hell!

OH YEAH! And review if you have time…

~Reiki


	5. Get the Defibrillator

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and later scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 5 – Get the Defibrillator

* * *

"So, did you like our live?"

"It was amazing, except for the part where your singer spit beer all over the crowd. That was kind of nasty."

"…yeah, it must have been a spur of the moment thing 'cause he didn't say anything about it beforehand. Then again he never does."

After playing the Whiskey I seized the moment and invited Rylie to hang out with us at our after-party. Now, we were all waiting around for Ryusuke, who went to park the van somewhere since I got to leave _him_ with all of our equipment for once after loading up. The rest of us happy smiling freaks hit with the after shocks of adrenaline were sitting around and drinking alcohol to end the night.

"Sooo, are you Taira's girlfriend or something?" Chiba asks, because that's the question on my friends' minds. It's not like I always bring girls to our after-parties. That's Ryusuke.

Rylie giggles, something I find kind of cute and elating for some reason.

"No."

And the feeling of sinking into a deep dark abyss enters my gut. Why?

"Y-yeah, we're just friends," I say, because now everyone's giving me the eye. The Taira-this-pretty-chick-really-isn't-your-girlfriend (?) look. And, yes, I shrug like it's no big deal and give them a 100-watt smile to compensate for my plummeting heart, as over emotional as that may sound. Chiba and Koyuki seem to buy it but I can tell Saku knows something's up. He does live with me after all. Plus, we make up Beck's rhythm section. That makes us like peanut butter and jelly. And if you must know I am definitely the peanut butter because I'm nutty. What a bad joke. Oh well, it's been a long night. I must have sweated some of my brains out.

"Yo."

Ahh, Ryusuke's here, finally. He has the most casual way of making himself known.

He sits down with an unceremonious plop and orders a cheap beer from the waitress. Being the polite guy that I am I immediately go straight to the introductions.

"Ryusuke, this is-"

"Hey, forgive me if I'm wrong but you're that chick from the Flux, right?" He cuts me off with his drawl but instead of glaring at him I stare at Rylie who has got a blush on her cheeks.

"It's cool you recognized me. My name's Rylie."

"Yeah, I thought you looked familiar. I saw your band live last week at the Rock-sie. You guys were really powerful. The crowd went insane during your last song, I think it was called _Erasing Clouds_ or something," Ryusuke says, taking a long swig of his beer. The awkward pause in conversation continues and he slams his beer down on the table. Then the spell is broken.

"Flux? Wait… Fidelity Flux!" Saku exclaims, my thoughts exactly, "That's your band's name? Seriously?"

The name rings through my mind continuously, like a bell tolling after a laborious day. How could it be possible? I think my internal motherboard has crashed and I need a restart or something. Quick, get the defibrillator! Taira's going down!

All the while I've been staring at Rylie I've watched her face go from unsettled to fucking terrified. It could either be because a)Saku has got the attention of everyone in the pub with his shouting or b)said boy has spit tea across the table and has doused his best friend Koyuki in the substance. But then again it could also be c)she had no idea that we were touring together which I'm going to have to vouch for as well. How did I not know about this band of hers? Why is it that _I'm_ the one in the dark? Usually I'm on top of this stuff!

"Yeah, that's what we call ourselves. Sorry, but I didn't know until the end of your live that you guys had an American name. I only knew you guys as 'Beck'," she apologizes and everyone around me just waves it off like it's nothing important. The alcohol and post-adrenaline has loosened up everyone and now we're just chillin' out. Except, of course, for me. My mind is like a bunch of atoms trying to form bonds, every little thought bubble flying around and whacking into one another in a desperate attempt to make sense of the circumstances.

But still, why didn't I know her band's name! I feel like slamming my head on the table in front of me in frustration. Already Ryusuke's leagues ahead of me, and he just met her! Why is it that I have no luck getting close to people? I think I need a couple minutes of deep breathing to sort me out.

Breathe _in_.

Breathe _out_.

Repeat until reaching the desired heart rate.

"What are the chances of us touring together?" I ask with a nervous laugh, probably sounding like a cat choking on a hair ball. I mean, I know the band's name's Fidelity Flux but…until now I didn't realize that Rylie happened to be the bassist for the band.

"I know, I was surprised," Rylie says timidly, sipping at her beer. I can't help but notice she isn't a heavy drinker. She's still on her first beer. Ryusuke, who somehow got lucky and positioned himself beside her, is on his third and I'm on my second. Saku and Koyuki – who is still very much soaked courtesy of Saku – are chugging tea and glancing around at the more eeratic coustomers in the bar whilst occasionally making eye contact with each other across the table. Those boys are like herd animals, they need the reassurance of one another. Somewhere along the line though their friendly tea sipping turned into a brutal glaring contest, the kind where you fry your eyes out trying not to blink because that would make you the loser. I'm guessing Koyuki didn't take the whole Saku spouting liquid all over the place very lightly.

"Muhh, this will be our second tour in America, you know," Ryusuke says, getting his face a little too close to Rylie for my liking. It's like he's trying to pick her up. _Wait_. Oh shit. I saw her first goddamn it.

"Really, that's amazing." Rylie's concentration is on Ryusuke and I really hope he gets up to go to the bathroom soon or something because I need to take his spot at her side. That or I need to push Saku around a bit. He's just in the way at the moment, occupying the parking spot on the other side of the target of my unreturned affections.

"Well, it was hard work too. And everything's so different from Japan," I say, desperate to get into the conversation. Intervention, I mustn't lose to a guy who drinks himself unconscious. I mean seriously, at least I don't over-indulge.

"Yeah, that's true, it was like continuous culture shock every single day," Saku says, his eyes never leaving Koyuki's. You'd think that they'd stop playing these kinds of games at their age. Koyuki, so far, is winning the drinking/glaring contest, whatever it is now. Nobody really cares in this pub, it's pretty neutral I suppose. "But thank goodness we had Ryusuke speaking English for us or else we would've really been screwed."

Her face lights up like a stoplight on a dark street and suddenly I get the uneasy feeling that whatever she says next will contain R-Y-U-S-U-K-E.

"Oh, Ryusuke, you can speak English too?"

"Yeah, I spent time in America when I was a kid. New York to be specific."

"Well, I used to go see my family in Canada a lot but it's been years now since I've spoken English to anyone. You'll have to tell me how rusty I am."

I'm now officially excluded from their conversation. I can distinguish snippets of what the two are saying to each other like right now I think Ryusuke has just told Rylie about his friend Eddie in Dying Breed. I can't top that. I also don't want to just butt in with my two-cents because I'm not that rude. So I try to wait it out.

Chiba has found one of his rapping buddies and he's gulping down beer after beer and generally just making a fool of himself. Koyuki and Saku are exchanging jokes…or something. Rylie and Ryusuke seem to be falling in love with one another. And then there's Taira, that's me, doing absolutely nothing productive and for the most part the rest of the world has forgotten I'm alive and well.

So, what do I do? Do I start clearing my throat until someone asks me what the heck I have lodged in my gullet? Do I stare until someone asks why I haven't blinked in over five minutes? Or do I do the obvious and kick Ryusuke's balls in under the table and then make it look like Koyuki's doing? That would break up the conversation quickly. They can't ignore me by speaking English forever, right?

"Taira, man, are you okay? You've been staring at that beer like it personally offended you and eloped with your sister."

"Eh?"

Ah, Saku has broken up all of the conversations and now everyone is staring at me, the picture of complete worry etched into each of their faces. If they keep styaring at me like that they'll all get frown lines.

"Yeah, you don't look too good," Koyuki says, his eyes alone telling me he's concerned about my general health. Koyuki is always fraught with worry. His kindness flatters me.

"I'm fine," I tell them, picking up the bottle I had previously been trying to incinerate with my gaze of doom. If anything the beer has grown warm. And don't we all know that cheap beer tastes the worst when it's warm.

"Are you sure, you look kind of angry." Koyuki is making observations. He's about spot-on too being the little psychic kid that he is. Seriously, that kid can catch things that other people miss. He'll make a good songwriter some day.

"You don't have frequent mood swings, do you?" Rylie says with a snicker. I shake my head, rendered mute after just one sentence from her mouth. I can't help it, these stupid hormones…

"No way, Taira's like super-calm man!"

"What? Saku, is that like some kind of superhero or something?"

"Huh? No, but if Taira was a superhero he'd be-" Saku stands up, albeit wobbly and shouts at the heavens, "ICEBURGER MAN!"

"…"

"Saku, you've had one too many Rosemary teas tonight," I say as he sits back down. Well, more like tumbles back down with a crash and an embarrassed giggle that's a little too high-pitched to be considered manly. This is one of those moments you tend to never bring up again. Saku is not a light drinker. Even when the substance contains no traces of alcohol, unless of course Chiba has spiked it when none of us were looking. I wouldn't put it past him.

Ryusuke seems to find this whole situation incredibly funny. He's swaying back and forth guffawing like one of those seagulls that knows you have food. You know, the seagulls that chase you around the parking lot trying to land on your head? Yeah, one of those mindless birds of Satan.

"Gahh! Taira's the Iceburger man! What the fuck does that even mean Saku?"

"Oh, I dunno, I just got it as a combination of cheese burger and ice cream. Aren't those your favourite foods? Of sorts?"

"So what kind of super powers does he have?"

"Super human strength?"

"The ability to read minds?"

"Or maybe he can teleport?"

"That would explain a lot."

Will you people just drop it?

"Ugh, hey, I hate to be a drag but I have to get going," Rylie says. In the heated discussion that is whether or not I'd have infrared eyes or laser beams I am the only one who hears her soft voice.

"Ya, I think I'm going to take off before it gets decided whether or not I can channel physical energy into another person," I say to her, glad she's not speaking English anymore. I really need to learn that language before Beck gets famous. Sorry, _if_ we get famous. I can't say anything for sure.

She laughs and pulls out a bunch of change to throw on the table that is now covered with a mess of bottles and tea packets. I do the same and soon enough we're standing outside of the pub, having said our good-byes. Or at least tried. Chiba was so out of it he thought I was someone else. Not that bleach blonde guys are common in Japan or anything. Oh well.

"Your friends are all so nice," Rylie tells me, as if she hadn't seen the display of drunkenness and screaming. Ah well, it can't be helped. The members of Beck are who they are. Change any one in the band and we wouldn't be Beck.

"They can get a little rowdy at times," I say truthfully. "So, when did your band find out about the tour?"

"Well, a couple weeks ago. I was surprised and at the time I couldn't get much information about your band so I kind of just left it to focus on the Flux."

I nod, that's what I did. I just said, 'Okay, that's who we're touring with, now lets go practise!' And that was that. Looking back I now feel like the world's biggest idiot.

"So, do you know our schedule? We're kind of in the dark about the whole thing. I mean, we just found out about it a couple days ago. So it's been kind of hectic." Those crazy people over at our label have some serious inconsideration for their musical talents. They thought it would be better to not tell us until they were absolutely positive the tour's going to happen. They wanted to be sure the whole thing was set in stone before informing us.

She grins sheepishly, "I do and I don't. I have a list of all the places we play and the hotels we're staying at but it's not on me at the moment so I couldn't tell you."

"That's okay," I say, feeling as if we're making small talk. I don't really know what to say to her, she's just smiling at me and watching me with her soft hazel eyes. It's almost kind of unnerving how cool and collected she seems. The whole while we were in the pub she didn't bat an eyelash at the antics of my band mates, except of course when they figured out her identity. It's almost like she's used to it.

"Where do you live? I mean, if you live close to me you can just come over for two seconds and get a copy of the tour schedule. We have maps and everything stapled to the copies we have."

_Brilliant_.

"Yeah, sure, that's great. I uh, live just a few blocks away actually."

And so, barely containing my excitement, I follow Rylie as she sets out in the direction of her home, wherever that is. Mostly I try to keep beside her but she seems to be walking really fast for some reason or another. Maybe she has a creepy stalker or something? I look behind us on the shadowy street lit only by dim streetlights.

I need to start a conversation since the awkward silence is really starting to scare me. And what better subject to talk about with a musician than music? "So I couldn't help but notice you have the entire Nirvana collection on your iPod. Are you a huge fan?"

She blushes, "Yeah, I love them."

"Me too. Kurt Cobain is like my musical idol. His ability to write songs was astounding." I have now confided in her something that only a few people know about me. I'm doing well.

"Really? Personally I think Dave Grohl is more incredible."

"Why would you say that?"

She grins, "He wrote an entire catalogue of songs, you know the Foo Fighters? Plus, he sang and played a wide range of instruments proficiently. He's like a super-musician."

"Hmm, I agree, he is an outstanding musician but I still favour Cobain."

She laughs warmly, "Sure, I can respect that. Whatever inspires you."

We walk along speaking mainly about music as a whole and I learn quite a few things that sparks my already abundant interest in her. That, for one, she is highly influenced by punk music, namely the Sex Pistols and in particular Sid Vicious. She says she would have never taken up bass if she hadn't seen the video of Sid hammering a guy in the head with his bass. Apparently at the time she had thought that if a guy like him could play music in a band professionally why couldn't she? In a weird way I guess I kind of see the logic but then again I'm probably biased.

I also learn that she's the unofficial leader for her band. Also, apparently her band mates all have some sort of strange quality. She tells me her lead guitarist is afraid of men while her rhythm guitarist is absolutely determined to land the man of her dreams and that her drummer is a complete psycho but easy to love. In turn I tell her all about how I joined Beck and just what kind of people I think they really are beneath the surface. Private details that I haven't shared with many people outside of my family, mainly because nobody before now has ever asked.

It's all very personal.

"That's the place," she says soon enough and I find myself trying to not appear to be staring plainly at her butt as we climb a flight of stairs to her floor. I can't help it though; it's the male hormones contributing to my state of mind. They've been keeping me full of energy all night.

We stop at the door that must be hers and she tries the doorknob only to find that it's not about to let her in. She frowns like she wasn't expecting the door to be locked then pulls out a key. She unlocks it and I see for the first time where it is she spends her time when not in the studio or working.

I have to admit; her place is no nicer looking than mine and Saku's.

"Sorry about the mess," she says in an uncomfortable huff, "My drummer's a messy person. I haven't tried to tame her things lately. You must think it's kind of strange that I live with my drummer, huh?"

"Nah, it's normal, I live with my drummer too."

"Oh yeah?" We have a friendly laugh about that. Must be a band thing. "I actually have no idea where my band is, they were here when I left and nobody told me they'd be gone later." She looks around curiously at all the countertops and flat surfaces. "Not even a note. Oh, but here's the schedule. If you want to take it feel free since we have copies of it floating around here… somewhere."

I take it from her and scan the dates and map attached to the back quickly. "So…does this mean we play Los Angeles first?"

"Yeah, pretty unreal huh? I mean, Los Angeles is the boiling pot of where metal and hard rock bands like Mötley Crüe, L.A. Guns, Dokken, Guns N' Roses, Faster Pussycat and Metallica originated. The fact that we're playing there…two small time Japanese bands…it's so…," she shakes her head sombrely, unable to find words to express herself.

"I hope we can make some waves of our own in America. The last time my band was there we kind of floundered for most of the tour."

She sighs, "I hope that doesn't happen this time. This is such a huge opportunity… especially for my band, we never thought, not in a million years that we'd be getting out of Japan to spread our music."

We lapse into silence. I can hear the ticking of a clock much like a metronome keeping time but standing in her apartment with her it's like time isn't even moving. Everything is still, except for the bit of motion I catch out of the corner of my eye. Then Rylie lifts an arm and I follow her gaze.

"That's Ralph, my cat," she says pointing at the grey tabby cat that came out from underneath her bed. It's actually a rather adorable little thing. Not overweight and certainly not out of the ordinary like Beck. Just a house cat.

"I thought you told me your van's name was Ralph?"

"Yes, well it is but Ritsu's not very original you see," she replies while we watch her cat. It struts across the floor like it owns the place, ignoring everyone else. Then it stops in the middle of the room and makes a big scene out of licking itself. Even though private areas need their cleaning as well it's rather uncomfortable to watch. You feel as if you're invading the feline's privacy. If all humans were as open-minded as cats…the world would be a mess.

"Yeah, he thinks he's hot stuff. Just don't let on that you know he lacks his sacks or it could get ugly."

I grimace, that's horrible. Suddenly I feel very conscious of my own manhood. Not because Rylie has just instigated a very harsh truth about her cat but because when she bent to grab a piece of paper off of the floor her top fell off of her shoulder slightly and exposed a certain purple garment I thought I would never see again. That's right, the purple bra that had both of the younger boys in my band absolutely baffled. I swear she's wearing the same one.

"Oh, here's another copy of the schedule. See, they're all over the place!" She laughs loudly but I can't even summon enough strength to even fake a smile. Why?

Because I can't help but think that the bra would look way better on Rylie than on a mannequin. I hate my hormones.

"Taira? Are you okay?" She's like a broken record tonight.

I'm experiencing a noticeable lack of penis control. These damn loose fitting pants, I should have worn something tighter. I turn to wall slightly trying to hide the bulging evidence.

She doesn't notice. She's too preoccupied with judging my facial expression which has gone from neutral to tinged with red since we all know trying to exert the force needed to control oneself is tough work.

"Huh? Oh, yes, yes I'm fine. Sorry, it's late, I should get going." I hasten to put my shoes back on. Ralph the cat is glowering at me from the corner of the room. I can't help but think that in the cat's eyes I've overstayed my welcome. That or he's jealous since I do quite _obviously_ have the manhood that he lacks…

"Taira?" she calls just before I'm out her door.

"Yes?" I was hoping to get out of here without jumping on her and tearing off her clothes. So far I've been doing well but now with her face just inches from mine I'm getting sidetracked. Again.

"I've been meaning to ask you this but…ugh…well," she bites her lip, becomes flustered and just smiles and waves her hands in a dismissive motion. "Actually, never mind. So, I'll be seeing you at the airport next week. I'm going to assume that we're travelling together. Maybe not in the same vehicle but we'll be taking the same flights and checking in to the same hotels."

At this rate we'll be spending some quality time together for sure.

"For sure," she says with a smile and a hand on the door. I hadn't realized I'd said that out loud. I really need to careful. At least she didn't get the double meaning.

* * *

**A.N.:** Taira waging war with his hormones. Everyone does it and some days are just worse than others. I think Taira's going to just keep getting worse and worse at this rate.

Poor Rylie, the completely oblivious airhead. And poor Ralph (the cat), jealous of Taira's manhood…oh boy.

Stay tuned for the next chapter, oh, and **REVIEW **if you can! Even just to say hi, I'd really appreciate it!

~Reiki


	6. Those Giant Pink Donuts

**Author's Note**: First off, huge – and when I mean huge I really mean COLOSSAL – shout out to BRENDON! Thanks so, so much for your reviews! If you'd had an account I could've thanked you with a simple reply but this is the next best thing! And, yes, I am of British and English decent. I've lived in Canada my whole life so I do add the 'u's in some words like favo**u**rite for example. Haha~

Also, huge thanks to Amaris Solbes, my faithful motivator! You rock!

And without further ado, with some scenes inspired by a true story, the sixth chapter!

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I also own nothing by Phantom Blue or any other recognizable musical stuff. I write to entertain random people.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and later scenes involving violence and sexual scenes.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 6 – Those Giant Pink Donuts

* * *

"Passports? Passports anyone?"

"Rylie if you don't calm down that security guard who's looking at us funny will come and kick us out!" Kim proclaims. She's been high-strung ever since we left the apartment and the Ralphs behind at Al's place. Hey, despite dealing with seedy and often drunk customers Al's the most trustworthy guy we know. Plus, he loves cats, so Ralph (the cat) should keep him company. Those bachelors have to stick together.

"What do you mean he's looking at us funny?" Ritsu asks, narrowing her eyes at the guard, who's perhaps a little green I'm guessing since he's not much older than us.

"Well, there's plenty of people here but he's been staring at us for the past ten minutes," Kim says franticly. Of course only she would notice. She is paranoid of men after all.

Ritsu snorts, "Horny bastard."

Kim gasps, "Oh my goodness, he's coming over here!"

"Ugh, well, I'll go meet him halfway," Ritsu says, starting off, her high heels making a foreboding click-clack on the concrete flooring. We follow after her but it's too late. Her course is set; nobody can stop a determined drummer. Particularly one powered by estrogen.

"Do you girl's need any hel-"

I have no idea how we're going to explain this. To say that Ritsu's leg slipped by accident would be a lie because we all know that Ritsu doesn't do anything without having a motive. So, now we have about five seconds to come up with a valid reason why some guy clothed in a nifty blue uniform is hunched on the ground holding his tra-la-la and shaking whilst cursing us four little ladies in matching black high heels. Yes, we bought them for the trip. You could say our matching heels are part of our stage show. Plus, we got a buy one get one half off deal so we saved money in the long run.

To think I woke up thinking this was going to be a tolerable day.

"Nobody saw anything, right?" Ritsu asks after we screech her name and curse her heritage. She's got no monks as ancestors apparently. Actually, her family seems to be a horde of savages from what I've heard about them, except less primitive with their debauchery.

"Yeah, nobody except the video cameras!" wails Chi while drifting slowly away from us with her eyes to the ceiling, doubtlessly searching for those ingenious pieces of technology. Option one: run like hell back home and hide out for a while until this dies down. Option two: take out the witnesses, even if they are no more than a metal box with a few wires attached. I personally don't think option one is really an option at all. And option two is going to cause us more trouble so…

"Let's just keep moving," I speak the first sensible thing. The man hasn't stopped his spastic movements and I can't blame him. After all, Ritsu plays a mean _kick_ drum.

We rush our booties to check in which goes smoothly, thank Jaco. I have a pretty good idea of what to do in an airport since I've flown solo before plenty of times before to visit my family. Going across seas has started becoming natural to me.

"Ritsu, stop wandering around and attracting attention," I tell her just as she's about to disembark on an excursion to the ramen stand in the corner of the loading area. It's just like her to be hungry at the most inconvenient of times.

"Huh, but Rylie, Chi went into that store over there and she-"

The rest of whatever Ritsu has to say fades away as I march up to Blondie and take her away from the shelves of airport/tourist clothing. The guy she was previously sweet talking gives me a glare that says he's just about ready to shoot me. Sorry pal, she's way out of your league anyway.

Chi, despite being held on to by Kim who is furious at her best friend for leaving her for a man, is blowing kisses to her newest boy-toy while Ritsu is drooling over the menus as we sit in the food court. Airports strategically place their chairs so that people end up sitting in or around places where merchandise and/or food is sold. How do you think they make all that extra profit? At least that's what I figure.

"Where's Beck? Don't tell me they chickened out," Ritsu starts up the chatter once again. She'll probably get me talking and then discreetly slip in that she's going to spend precious money on some food. She knows that when I tune her out I end up agreeing to anything just so she'll think I'm paying attention. She thinks she's got me all figured out. But she doesn't know all of my secrets.

Surreptitiously I've been looking for Taira and his buddies for the past hour and still I haven't had a single sighting of blonde hair apart from Chi. Truthfully I have no idea where the hell they are, which in turn worries me to the highest degree.

"They'll be here." I say this to reassure myself more than to respond to Ritsu's inquiring. "That or they're already on the plane. We can board now but, like I said before, it'd be an extra forty minutes in a confined space with Ritsu."

Chi and Kim nod knowingly but I don't even earn a scowl from the hyper-active machine.

She's too busy slobbering over the miso ramen. Dear Lord, what part of starving musicians doesn't she understand? I don't want to arrive in the States broke. It's a good thing that Chi and Kim voted me as the band's treasurer or we would be homeless and on the streets right about now.

We laze in a funk for the next half hour, occasionally glancing at airport tokens we can't afford. All is dull and rather eventless, maybe because that security guard has yet to find us. I grimace; he'll have to have surgery to re-locate his balls. They've more than likely been pounded out the other end, if you get what I'm saying. Ugh, what has Ritsu done?

It's funny how these things come back to you after you've been walking around aimlessly for long periods of time in an airport gift shop.

"Kim, grab Chi, we're getting on the plane," I order Flux's lead guitarist. She drags a disgruntled Blonde out of the shop and soon we are standing at the gates. I really hope Ritsu doesn't say anything that could get us in trouble. There are some words you don't even dare to mention in an airport full of stinky people. Words like 'bomb', 'explosives', 'drugs'-

"Hi Jack!" Ritsu calls out, waving at a boy who used to go to our high school.

Wait, if you slur that together it sounds like-

Oh, _crap_. Stupid Ritsu!

"Excuse me, what did you say?" asks a lady in light blue uniform, a flight attendant on her break perhaps. She has a stern demeanour and I have a feeling that if I don't cut in her and Ritsu could get into one helluva argument. I have a theory about polar opposites.

"Oh, she was just talking to her friend Jack!"

The woman is unconvinced and I can see her reaching for her walkie-talkie device that's strapped to her hip like a gun. Oh no, she's not going to call security on us, right? This plus the other incident…we'll be cooked like dinner when Ritsu's the chef. Charred and with little bits of flame spurting everywhere.

"Ya, Jack is THE biggest jackass ever. Haha, get it, JACKass! Plus, he's a complete pervert! Did you know he used to go through the girl's locker room and steal our bras and-"

"Okay, that's enough out of you! We have to board this plane so if you'll excuse us," I say to the woman who has raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow at us. She's buying it I'm sure since she's staring at 'Jack' with a disgusted look on her perfectly accented face.

We stalk past the lady who doesn't spare us another word and soon we are in our seats on the plane. We end up with seats at the very front of the plane and, looking back, I notice that my hunch from before is correct. Beck in their entirety is sitting in their economy seats near the back of the plane. They don't perceive us and all I can see of Taira is a tuff of blonde hair. Actually, now I can't even see that Godly tuff of hair since some mammoth guy has sat right in front of him, obscuring my vision. Great, now I can't even waste hours staring at his clump of hair! How perfect!

By now people are filtering onto the plane and it's too late to go back there to chat with Taira and make my presence known…damn, just damn. If we had only gotten on the hunk of metal sooner! Then I could've put the moves on him faster…er, not that I've been planning that or anything. No, not at all.

But, seriously, who am I kidding?

Chi utters a cross between a hum and a high-pitched snort and when she has captured my attention, nods in Kim's direction. I see that Kim's knuckles have turned a milky white. Oh, _wonderful_. She has a closeted fear of flying. Why didn't she tell us? Oh, I hope she relaxes or Chi's going to be re-examining what that girl had for lunch.

"When do we get food?" Ritsu asks, at the most inappropriate moment. I made her switch seats with me. Now she's boxed in between me and the window, safely out of the way of potential aisle hazards. Or Kim spewing stuff, she's clear of that as well.

The anticipation of taking off is nearly killing poor Kim. We're on the runway, then start to taxi out. Kim is shuddering with the heave of the plane. But, without warning, we suddenly come to a stand-still. We've stopped and nobody knows why. All around me people are speaking with a hint of nervousness impressed into their voices.

Then our captain gets on the PA and his voice crackles in and out of being audible, "This is your captain speaking. Now, don't be alarmed but all the warning lights in the cockpit have gone on, so we're going to taxi back to the terminal so the techs can take a look. Please remain seated and do not panic."

I groan like a dying hippo.

The technicians take a look at the plane once we arrive back at the main base. I can't believe our horrid luck but we sit there for an hour or so believing it. Finally, after Ritsu started threatening to break out of there, the captain came back on. All ears tuned in.

"It was just an electrical short and it has now been fixed. We are sorry for this inconvenience. We will be taking off shortly."

So, we taxied back out. At this moment in time I realize that for the good of Kim's health Chi should've traded places with her. Kim has hunched over in her seat, almost to the point of having her head between her knees. The moving scenery isn't exactly doing her wonders.

Then, just as we started to pick up speed, we suddenly come to a stop.

"The warning lights are still on in the cockpit. The technicians said it's nothing to worry about but I would prefer to get the engine checked out again before going across the ocean."

Now even Kim groaned, this meant another hour and a half of sitting and doing nothing. We went slowly back to the terminal. I was eager to be let off or something but to no avail. We sat for another three hours. It was so mind-numbing that Ritsu actually fell asleep with her head against the window and drool hanging out of the corner of her mouth. Kim at least got over a lot of her fear of taking off, since we weren't going anywhere for a while and Chi was giving her therapy. Chi's strange in the sense that she can calm people down just by saying a few words. She has that charisma that shines in the darkest of situations.

Soon enough the loudspeaker announces that the engine and plane in general now has a clean bill of health. So we taxi back out. But as our luck is running, the captain says the warning lights are still on, but the technicians who have all the power assure him it's nothing, that we were running late and, "At this point, what the heck…third time's the charm, right?"

I'm sure that's not what Kim, the average first time trans-Pacific flyer, wants to hear. Hell, for the record, that's not what _I_ want to hear and I'm usually open to adventure.

So with many passengers, including myself, protesting about our situation the plane picks up speed and we race down the runway. I can tell even without looking past the sleeping Ritsu that the nose has lifted off into the air. We were taking off… and the engines died, and the plane came to a shuddering, lurching halt as the nose fell back down to the asphalt. KABOOM! People around me were shaken and two young children were crying but all in all nothing was on fire and/or exploding so I counted my blessings. Then I woke up Ritsu.

The flight attendants on that plane shuttled us across the airport and onto a _different_ plane with a _different_ pilot not long after we failed to take off. Kim was so traumatized that she could hardly walk. But we got her on the new plane eventually, after much coaxing on the part of Chi and myself and some threatening remarks made by our dearest Ritsu. She was not happy about being woken from her slumber. She's a bit of a bear in the mornings too, I'll have you know.

So we breathed deep, calming breaths while the rest of the passengers boarded. All this time while we were experiencing technical difficulties I hadn't seen Taira at all. Now, at this point as he walks past with his band mates all we can do is smile weakly at one another. I am crestfallen.

This trip hasn't even started and already it's a flop.

* * *

"They're either going to really like each other…or want to rip each other's faces off."

"I'm taking bets," I say, because I'm going to have to warn him sooner or later that there has been very few boys who have ever befriended Ritsu. I don't think Chiba, despite what Taira says about him, will be any different.

Let's just get this straight. I did not want to leave my band mates with Taira's but it couldn't be helped since we couldn't trust anyone else in our respective bands to sign for the rented vans our label paid for. I don't know why, but after a trans-Pacific flight I felt extremely wary of people not being able to get things done. So, I have taken it upon myself to do whatever needs doing.

Hence why Taira and I are standing alone outside of a rented vehicle joint, which happened to be a brisk walk from the airport (which solidifies my reasoning that the airport and everything else small-business wise are in cahoots with each other.) Only we aren't really alone since a vehicle salesman is heckling us, trying to get rid of us 'kids' quickly. We were only too happy to take our respective vans and oblige. The vans we have been presented with are cheap which I suppose reflects our indie label. Oh well, it looks like we both got the same van model, some Chevy or whatever and my band's van is a nice shade of red with only a few rusted spots. Beck got a silver van and don't we all know those are notorious for rusting. Cosmetically my band got the better deal.

"I haven't driven backwards since the last time I was here," Taira tells me, no doubt meaning the difference between driving in Japan and driving in America. I can only agree. I too will have to readjust to driving on the right side of the road. Already I have a feeling that this will be an exhilarating experience.

"Yeah, but we should be fine getting to the hotel. It's supposed to be right around here," I say gesturing at the miles and miles of highway that has cars zooming around at breakneck speed. It's rather intimidating but I guess that's to be expected in Los Angeles. Speaking of Los Angeles, the reality of it all is finally setting in, "I can hardly believe we're here!"

"Yeah, I seriously didn't think that we would ever leave the airport. I wonder why of all the planes that had been there ours was the one to mess up just before take-off," Taira muses. "Maybe someone's just out to get us."

"At least we don't have to play today; I feel some serious jetlag coming on."

Unfortunately, we don't say much more to each other as his vocalist Chiba comes sauntering towards us with a steady trail of blood running down his face. He stops before us and a sliver of red pitter-patters on the concrete. I knew even before being told by anyone that Ritsu had become personally offended by this guy. It's as obvious as the sky is blue to most people. How else could he have injured himself so quickly on in the tour?

"That could have gone better," he grunts as he presses his fingers firmly against his head trying to keep what blood he has left from joining what is already out. Ritsu has really knocked him one on the head. Her steel ring she wears must have caused the majority of the damage. It could have been worse though, she could've broken his nose or permanently disfigured him.

He catches my eye and my presumptuously raised eyebrows. "Your drummer's insane!" He snarls, his eyes flashing dangerously. Despite being the obvious loser of the match I have a feeling he could hold his own quite easily in any regular fight. At any rate, any fight that didn't involve a crazed psycho chick who has acquired deadly precision from striking her cymbals all day long.

"I can't believe she beat you up," the lead guitarist of Beck, Ryusuke, coos loudly. He seems to be relishing in the fact that Chiba's bleeding. What a strange relationship they must have. Taira wasn't kidding when he said the two have a strange sort of love you, hate you bond.

In the distance I see my girls waiting with all of our luggage, standing stiff with their glares anything but meek. I don't stay to see what they wrap around Chiba's head; instead I set off, in view of the fact that my first priority is my band. Besides, I know Taira can solve any problems that come his way. He just seems like that type.

We load up our red van and I notice for the first time that Ritsu is completely silent. I call her on this, and also mention Chiba since nobody has told me what the heck he said to make Miss Hot-headed angry enough to lash out at a fellow musician.

"He's a fucking bastard," is all Ritsu growls out. I shake my head in grief at her rash actions while Chi rolls her eyes pensively. "What?" Ritsu continues, "it's the truth."

I pull Chi aside when Kim and Ritsu climb into the van. "What happened? All we need right now is for their band to get angry with us."

"I know. He was at fault though. I mean, he said something and I think it came out a little bit jumbled up or something. It almost sounded like he was hitting on her. Let's just say it was a little bit…suggestive." Chi's face loses the forlorn expression, "On the bright side I think the other boys are very nice. Especially Saku and Koyuki."

I snort, "Both of them are taken Chi." She truly enjoys playing with boys hearts. Ugh.

"No, I mean they'd make cute little brothers to play dress up with! Seriously Rylie, eww, they're like two years younger than me!"

I shake my head and climb into the driver's side. I look into the rear-view mirror and see Ritsu with a twisted expression on her face. I really hope she doesn't have her heart set on making Chiba's life a living hell. But, I know her and I know that she's plotting something devious.

This is going to be the excursion of a lifetime.

* * *

Chi and I decide to swing by the two designated 'Beck' rooms in the morning, to make sure the occupants are up. We knock, wait a spell, and then Ryusuke opens the door, his hair in a bulbous bunch on one side of his head. I guess he isn't an early riser.

"Gahnumba numba," he mumbles. I suppose he lacks the ability to form a coherent sentence in the morning. Well. Best to ignore him then.

Taira's slightly more civil, "Good morning. How are you guys?"

"Tired," moans Chi, rubbing the fatigue from her eyes. I had more or less dragged her out of the confines of our shared room this morning by her blonde locks. Her clothes were straightened up, somewhat, which is a good thing because it compensates for her lions mane of hair. She's an eighties glam metal girl at heart.

"Ritsu's still sleeping like a log but Kim's already got everything in working order so we'll be leaving just after we eat breakfast. You guys know how to get to the venue, right?" Nothing would be worse than having Beck miraculously miss their first live house appearance. Our label would probably be in a fit of hysterics.

"Yeah, Ryusuke's got a map and Saku got some directions off the internet. Are you guys going to be alright getting there?" He has a glint in his eye and by the generous smile on his features I wonder if he's hoping I have no clue so he can elaborate and share his wisdom.

"Wisdom not needed at this point. We should be fine."

Staring at me curiously is Taira while Chi heads back to the room in order to dump a mixture of freezing cold water with shards of ice on Ritsu's head. Those complimentary ice dispensers stationed down the hall come in handy, I must admit.

When I set off on my own morning mission Taira follows me closely. We meander down the hallways, commenting only once the entire time and that had been when we spotted a creepy picture of an old lady wearing nothing more than a bikini. I have no idea why anyone would hang it on a wall, much less in a hotel. Poor Taira, he's more than slightly perturbed by it. Finally, we arrive at our destination.

Taira and I survey our breakfast.

"Soggy bagels or cold scrambled eggs?" he asks, bending over slightly to sniff at the eggs. Judging by the slightly green tinge on the sides of the container they have been sitting there for a while. Seeing this brings me a fleeting image of the refrigerator back at home that Ritsu and I had forgotten to empty out. Who knows what new breeds of fungi could grow in there given a month.

"I'm not going to chance the eggs. I think I'm just going to make toast and put some jam on it or something," I tell him as I spot the century old toaster, made of stainless steel yet rusted around the edges, and a loaf of bread.

"Sounds like a good idea," he says and we jam some bread into the heating machine and sit down at a nearby table. The tables only sit a max of two people which means that as soon as the rest of our bands appear we're going to occupy the entire breakfast area.

While waiting for the toaster to ding we smile sweetly across the table at one another. I find myself short of breath when he's near, maybe because I'm afraid of saying something too embarrassing or slurring my words into a jumbled mess. He's just so cool and collected, _all of the damn time_. It makes me very self-conscious which naturally leads me to make a mess of myself.

Taira looks like he's about to say something but the ding from the toaster cuts him off and we scramble to grab our toast. I eat swiftly, more for the fear of Ritsu appearing any minute and stealing my toast than for hunger. It's a dog eat dog world out there. Or as we in the Flux say, it's a bitch eat bitch playpen, so go have fun.

Kim races past us, a determined expression on her otherwise monotone features, hopefully to help Chi rouse Ritsu. She really values her sleep. I have no idea how she's going to cope when we have to wake up at 5AM tomorrow and be off at 6AM.

"Um, Rylie, did you bring any CDs for the long drives?"

I give him a quizzical look, "CDs? Of course. Mostly mix CDs though. Why do you ask?"

"Well, we only brought 12, which won't last us all the way to Seattle. So, I was wondering if we could swap after a while?"

"Certainly. It'd be interesting to see what you boys listen too." And I swear if all you guys listen to is death metal I will throw your CDs out on the highway while we're driving along at 100mph. Of course I didn't say this out loud though since that would be quite rude.

"Well, each of us made a couple CDs for the long drives ahead. So, Chiba's is probably mostly rap and hip-hop while Ryusuke's might have a few blues tracks thrown in around the rock anthems for good measure. Many of his guitar riffs are built on a solid foundation of blues knowledge that he's gained over the years," Taira explains. "If you give him an acoustic you'll see exactly what I mean."

Speaking of Ryusuke, here he is, noticeably more awake than when I saw him last. As soon as he spots us he saunters over, a flamboyant smile gracing his features. But, a look at Taira tells me that either he's wary of the guitarist, perhaps in the way I'm wary of Ritsu with matches or he's started a light feud with him over something trivial like who got to lounge back and sleep while the other drove. Either way I can feel the tension in the air. It's almost worthy of a bit of lyrical prose. If only I had a pen and piece of paper on me right now.

What a song this would turn out to be.

"Hey," Ryusuke says offhandedly. Is there anything that isn't casual about this guy?

"You look better than you did before," I comment derisively.

He sniffs moodily but then smiles down on me with a sort of dazed smirk, "I'll take that as a compliment. You on the other hand look absolutely _fabulous_. As usual."

I'm confused as to what he could mean by that but as he stalks away to inspect the Martian-eggs I pay him no more mind. After all, if he has been trying to flirt with me it wouldn't have mattered much since I, for a rule, never date lead guitarists. Don't ask why, experiences have just turned me off. At the moment anyway.

Taira on the other hand looks downright pissed off after our little exchange though I have no idea why. Ah well, it might not even have anything to do with Ryusuke or myself. For all I know he could've ripped off a hangnail. It hurts enough to make the face he's making.

My band mates filter in one by one and make as much toast as they can, since free food is always welcome in the Flux family. Soon I find myself sitting behind the wheel of the van with an instantaneous craving for coffee before we hit the open road. I'll just have to quench it at the venue later. Hopefully they serve more than alcohol. I don't know how much drunk-Ritsu I can take.

* * *

Inside the club the lights are dim to the point where it's almost dark enough to run into someone and not know whether or not they're male, female or a freakin' tugboat. I could pick out a few blue and orange lava lamps attached to the walls to serve as lights, a special touch that I find rather attractive and boasts my overall view of the first scene on our tour. The place, however, smells utterly rancid, a mixture of liquor, smoke and what had to be vomit from someone's hang-over. I loved it; it was the same smell back home in the venues I booked for my bands.

We run through setup and sound check fairly quickly. The sound guy, some passive dude named Bernie, told me a modest amount about of the place's history, in English of course, so I spent the better part of an half hour restating his tales to the girls. This is fine by me since we have no where else to be for the next hour or so.

Taira and his band mates slowly but surely drift over to us like we're pulling them with an invisible magnet. I think that even though Chiba and Ritsu got off on the wrong foot they felt the need to converse in Japanese so therefore they made a half-assed truce. We all felt the need to speak our usual lingo. It's only natural to stick with people who know your language and culture.

The Flux are slated to play before Beck, which means that we have to get the crowd going for them, in a good way, not the way that makes people want to throw tomatoes at the performers. I just hope that by the time we get on stage there's be more people in the audience. There is nothing worse than playing when the band outnumbers the gathering.

But, thankfully, after we spent the last twenty minutes before stage time in the backstage area, which was simply just a room lacking a door, the crowd increased to a little under twenty people. This meant we would get a bonus besides what we were guaranteed from the venues manager. This extra money however would have to go towards gas for the van. But hey, at least it's a paying gig.

A man with a goatee and a rattail appeared at the entrance to the backstage area, "You are," he looked down at the paper in his hands, "Fidelity Flux, are you not? Are you ready to go on? Or do you need another 5 minutes?"

My band mates stare at the man curiously. They're still getting used to hearing English spoken all around them. I translate for them as swiftly as I can and get their consent before I tell the man we're ready to play.

Or, as Ritsu would say, we're ready to do some major ass-kicking.

I slung my bass guitar strap over my shoulder and led the way out onto the tiny stage, which is really more of a block of wood set up just above ground level. It felt solid under my feet but I still sent a prayer that the stage would hold and not crumble away. I'm suspicious, yes, but after the plane incident I think anyone would be rightfully petrified.

The crowd, which roughly consists of twenty people seated around the room drinking beer and chatting loudly, is a mix of college students, metal freaks and normal everyday people I passed on the street earlier as I helped unload our gear. All these sub-categories exclude the one guy I spot dressed in drag near the back of the tavern. I hope Kim doesn't see him anytime soon; he would throw her off her game.

I step up to the mic and glance at my band mates to make sure they're ready before Ritsu counts us in. Chi is in that contemplative mood that always hit her just before she strums the first chords on her guitar. I can't see Kim's face behind her black veil of hair. She's staring transfixed at a spot on the ground, hopefully not out of fear. When Kim gets afraid her guitar talent goes on a vacation and leaves nothing but frantic improvising to deal.

I incline my head slightly to signal Ritsu and she rolls four rhythmic beats off the top of her snare's rim. Then, like a jukebox, we explode without warning into our first song, _Capsicum_. It's our red hot flagship song so we always tend to start off our sets with it since it catches people's attention and holds fast. The song has an outrageously fast guitar solo followed by a slight moment of complete silence right in the middle before we burst out again like race horses shuttling out of the gate. When Kim first played the solo I could recall thinking of nitrogen powered cars racing down a dragstrip. It was nuts. It still is.

We slam through the first two songs of our six song set, trying hard not to let our nervousness leak into our pure hard rock. It's tricky, and we appear to be convincing no one. I look out into the dark cavernous bar to see that apart from five people whose shiny greasy faces look up at us from in front of the stage that there isn't any more people than before when we started. I had been hoping that the manager had advertised our show.

"Let's play that Phantom Blue song we've been practising," Chi suggests, after our third song with minimal audience enthusiasm. We've garnished a few whistles (for the fact that we were chicks?) but no real crowd energy, clapping or otherwise. The thing with females playing rock is there is no half way. There are only rocking girls or eye candy for bar patrons. No in-between.

"A cover?" I throw the question out there as a statement hoping to get some more responses from my band mates. Kim just shrugs with a slight smile on her face as if to say that our live is lost on deaf ears anyway so it doesn't matter to her. Chi doesn't hear my response. She's staring dotingly at a teen sitting near the front. With some restraint I suppress groan, he isn't even cute and he has more of her attention than I do. How appalling.

"Oh, yeah! Lets do it!" Ritsu screeches in that screaming banshee tone of hers that cleaves through the still musky air and manages to recapture Chi's attention. Before I know it Ritsu is beside me with the mic stand in her hands and the mic shoved halfway down her throat.

"Alright guys, we're gonna play you a cover of Phantom Blue! Why? 'Cause we're 'Going Mad'!" Ritsu yells out into the microphone. Her shrill voice bounces off the walls and back at us, impacting us like a freight train.

Kim gives a full body shudder as Ritsu leaps behind her drum set and, with the audience's attention effectively captured, both guitarists shred through the first couple measures of the guitar driven intro. Milliseconds later I'm hammering on my bass and Ritsu has picked up the back beat. We're throwing all we have into this last futile attempt at gaining a following. The last time we put so much spirit into our songs was when we were just starting out and had nary a fan to our name. Now that we're back at square one we're more determined than ever to show everyone what the Flux is capable of.

With my rough voice I let loose the lyrics with as much power as my little feminine body possesses. It doesn't matter what we sound like; we aren't getting paid much tonight anyway since there are only a few people in the crowd. We earn a percentage of admission fees, split with the other bands, including Beck, that would be playing and, since there were no record breaking numbers, we were probably due to leave without breaking even.

Sometime between the chorus and the last few verses where I turn my back for a moment to groove away from the confines of the microphone and then return I notice that there are suddenly a lot more bodies in the room. Many of them are near the stage, standing and clutching either their significant other or their beers. But, there are still drinkers sitting at the bar and divided around the room. Still, where had all the people come from? Were they here to see the band after us? Were they here to see Beck, The Mongolian Chop Squad?

When we finish we actually finish with some applause. Kim's beaming, the happiest I've seen her all night and perhaps all week. More than likely because the clapping and hoots and hollers are for our performance and not our boobs which is something she strives for achieving.

Everything is going well, fabulous actually. That is until the huge pink donut – that had been hanging suspended by chains as an advertisement ploy – comes crashing down from the ceiling and completely obliterates my bass rig.

* * *

AN: *GASP!* Giant pink donuts crushing Rylie's amplifier? Just when their set was finally coming together… What has the world of touring come to?

Well, the next chapter will be…interesting. To say the least.

Hopefully anyone reading this can leave me a nice little review! I really appreciate them as they tend to spur me on! So spur, spur, spur away!

~Reiki


	7. The Hamburglar is a Double Agent

**Thanks To: culpcrave04 **and** Amaris Solbes**. I love you two! You make my day with your reviews!

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain random people who stumble across my stories.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and later scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

ALSO, note that near the end of this chapter there are homosexuals/scenes, so homophobes go somewhere else. Nothing huge but just slight 'gay comments' and a little bit of random 'fluffiness' that probably won't occur anywhere else in the story. So, if you really can't stand that I advise you to skip the end of this chapter instead of flaming me.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 7 – The Hamburglar is a Double Agent

* * *

While I was prepared for some grand finish to the Flux's set I, however, wasn't prepared to see a frickin donut of all things completely obliterate Rylie's amp. Of course this minor upset screwed with my head and as a result my bass playing was mediocre at best when we finally got on the stage to play. Let's just say the guys in Beck were slightly discouraged by our live since, frankly, we stank almost as much as a fat guy wearing black whilst jogging on a hot summer day. If that gives you any idea of stinky-ness.

I watch Rylie rage to the manager of the venue about property damages to her bass amp. Though I can understand a couple of the English words that are used, Ryusuke still has to translate some of the conversation for me. All he says is, "Must be made in Taiwan."

Ryusuke also translates that the venue is not going to hand out money to some musician to compensate for the damage to her equipment, even if the giant pink donut that caused the catastrophe in the first place was indeed their responsibility. This has got to be the biggest amount of bullcrap I've ever heard and I've heard of and seen for that matter some of the shits Beck the doggie leaves.

"Ryusuke, let's go heckle that guy," I coax quietly, gesturing to the manager, a seedy looking guy with dark greasy hair and a sharp, hooked nose. He looked like a raven. "Maybe we can help her out."

Ryusuke gives me a single delicately raised eyebrow, "Taira, this isn't even our problem."

I make sure he sees my sullen look.

"Okay, we might as well. We got our money anyway," he grumbles.

Yes! The downhearted-bassist look worked! Haha, he must feel guilty. After all I did fix his stupid AMPEG amp that was acting up before our set. He's in debt to me. Even if all I did to fix it was tighten a few screws that looked ready to fall off.

We approach the messy situation. Messy because I don't think Rylie's drummer is all too happy about this sudden turn of events. In fact, she's flexing her muscles like a convulsing tiger about to pounce. I don't think I actually need to be all that concerned about Rylie considering her drummer has the aptitude to tear Mr. Jerk Manager's limbs off and eat them. At least that's how I perceive it.

"Look pal, I don't care WHO you are in this business! I want some kind of reimbursement for damages done to my equipment!" Rylie yells in English. While I can't understand all of the words used I can certainly get the threatening underlying tone.

"Look, I can't just HAND OUT cash-"

"We don't care! Honestly, if you don't cough up the money right now I'll rearrange every little thing in your bar including your face!" Screams Ritsu, backing up her friend in Japanese, not caring that this guy can't understand her. I have to admit, if I were that guy I would either cough up the money or call the cops on that crazy chick because there is no doubt she has the capacity to completely obliterate everything in sight.

"So, what's it gonna be!" Ritsu challenges. She raises a fist quivering in suppressed anger. The venue manager shrinks back when he sees the cold malice in her eyes. Then Ritsu takes a step forward and then another and another until she's chest-to-chest with the scrawny guy. In her high-heels she's eye-to-eye with him and not about to back off.

"Okay," he starts quietly, "I can get you the money next week by the earliest. No sooner."

"We'll be in Phoenix, Arizona the day after tomorrow," Ryusuke pipes up, telling him what's what in English. He and Rylie converse in English with the guy for several moments until Ryusuke says to me, "Rylie's going to phone her manager, Yamada or whatever, to see if she can have the money forwarded to him or something. She's also threatening to fill some charges or something about unsafe buildings if he doesn't comply."

Rylie goes off to phone in seclusion with Chi and Kim, leaving Ritsu to guard the venue's manager more or less at gunpoint. The rest of my band members who'd been packing up joined us in staring down Mr. Jerk Manager. With all of these angry musicians I'll bet he's shitting his pants right about now.

I can't help but notice that Chiba's keeping his distance from the angry percussionist. I'd laugh at him but I can't say I'm not a little fearful of her too. Still, the way he's staring at her…I'm surprised she hasn't noticed.

Ryusuke gives me a gentle elbow and a nod when he sees Rylie and her other two band mates coming back towards us.

"Our manager's going to be getting in touch, very, very soon. And he's not a man to spew out bullshit to, so I'd watch it if I were you," Chi says dangerously, her blonde locks bobbing to and fro with every word. They don't say any more to anyone else and turn to grab what's left of Rylie's amp, then leave out the front door. But, before Ritsu follows them she gives the manager a vehement look and spits on the ground a mere fingers width from his shoes. Then they're gone.

Us guys in Beck, we don't waste any more time and head out to the parking lot where our van is fully loaded and ready to go. I can see the Flux across the parking lot standing around their van with what's left of Rylie's Fender TB-600C combo amplifier. Let me just say that there isn't much. It's more compact than ever before.

Saku and Koyuki pile into the backseat followed by Chiba. The plan is to make it back to the hotel alive, sleep for a few hours, then embark early in the morning. But, I wonder what the Flux is going to do? I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep knowing the all-female band is going through hard times.

"Ryusuke, I'll be right back."

"What? Why?" he grumbles followed by a yawn. He's tired from our live and will probably be useless on the drive back to the hotel. He falls asleep easily and is the hardest to wake up.

I shrug coolly, "I have a bit of a plan." He raises his dark eyebrows at me. "I just want to try to help."

He shakes his head and climbs into the passenger side while I amble towards the girl's van. I have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to say but miraculously my words dry up on my tongue when I catch sight of a very teary-eyed Chi and Kim. Suddenly, I feel intrusive. Maybe I should've left them alone after all.

I stop dead in my tracks just before invading their holy circle around Rylie's amp.

"What?" Ritsu snaps at me, her lips curled into a feral snarl, the first to notice my presence.

Her fed-up tone jolts me back to the reason I've come to disturb their grieving.

"Err, I…" I mutter, at a loss for the right way to explain myself. They continue to stare at me enquiringly, Rylie biting her lip with a frown on her face. She isn't bleary eyed like Chi and Kim but I can tell she's holding it in to stay strong for her friends. She's the band's leader. It's her job.

I finally gather enough wits to spit it out. "Y-you could use my amp, if you want…"

My proposal causes Rylie's soft brown eyes to broaden in disbelief and her mouth to part slightly. Then she crows a sharp, "Really? Taira, you don't know how grateful I am for this, I, the band, we –"

"No, no, don't worry about it," I cut her off before she could embarrass herself with the level of gratitude she could shower over me. "Bassists have to support one another, right? Besides we're on the same label, it's an easy solution."

"Right." Her face becomes morose, "And what if a huge plastic pastry comes and smashes your amp too? With my luck it's very viable."

"Well," I say earnestly, "Then we're both screwed."

* * *

"– _my way, from misery to happiness today, ahuh, ahuh, ahuh, ahuh, I'm on my way, from –"_

"Saku, if you don't stop singing, I'm pulling over and shoving you out of the van, even if drummers aren't exactly expendable."

"But Taira, it's a new day! And we're almost to Phoenix! Only 5 more hours to go!"

Ryusuke joins the conversation with a hearty, "Saku, just shut up, okay? Can't you see Taira's hair is going whiter by the second?" He and Chiba turn to each other and snicker, the bastards. I hope they go bald.

I sigh and try to keep my focus on the road rolling out in front of me. It's a wasteland, nothing but sand, dirt and the occasional cactus. I almost want to point out to Saku that he can get tons of free cacti out here IF he can manage to get the pricklies through airport security when we head back to Japan. Then our one cactus plant without a friend in the world that sits in the window of our apartment wouldn't be so lonely looking.

It's not long before the cacti starts to diminish and we hit the major metropolitan area. And we find out that our directions lead us straight into a construction site. We can't even get on to one of the essential routes. Baby, it's detour time.

"Taira! Left, left!" Ryusuke shouts, slathering his body across mine as he tries in vain to take the wheel from me. Doesn't he know anything about the word 'hazardous'?

"You idiot, I can't go left, it's a no turning lane!" I shout as I reach for the volume control for the CD player since the Red Hot Chili Pepper's 'Road Trippin' is blaring almost on full blast and I can barely hear Saku over all of the screaming courtesy of Chiba and Ryusuke.

"Oh crap! Guys, that was the last exit for at least another 10 miles!"

"What!" We all shout at Sakurai who's our resident map man. He cowers in the backseat next to Koyuki clutching the map he bought at our last rest stop. Which was over an hour ago when everything was fine and dandy and we weren't in this complete disorder.

I spare a glance in the rear-view mirror to see a red van tailing us closely. Upon closer inspection I can say that Rylie is hell-bent on not losing us in this vast example of urbanization. But if anything this makes me even more self-conscious because we don't know where the hell we're going either.

"Okay, we need to get off of the freeway," Chiba reasons. I take in my surroundings. Oh no, I'm boxed in badly. Don't you just hate when transports come up alongside you and go about surrounding you? I hate it when transports do that!

"I'm in the wrong lane."

"So turn right and do a U-ey!" Ryusuke shouts above the nervous backseat whispering and Anthony Kiedis' voice. Koyuki and Saku are crapping their pants, which in turn means we're going to have to find a rest stop soon, or, better yet, the hotel we're looking for.

I frown at him. There will be no U-eys while I'm driving. I check my mirrors then turn left, then right, and then right again, successfully landing us in a McDonald's parking lot. Cars start honking at me from behind. Not to mention Rylie's gone and followed me into this muddle of befuddled honking vehicles.

Chiba's leaned forward with no seat belt on. He's hanging half-way out the front window beside Ryusuke giving the finger to the honking vehicles with Saku and Koyuki trying in vain to pull him back inside. We end up trapped in the line-up for the drive-through lane. I have the craziest luck and I swear it's because Koyuki's traveling with us. Kid always brings us bizarre luck and usually of the bad kind.

"May I take your order?" asks the crackly voice emanating from the little black speaker.

"Nothing," I grumble through clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry," says the voice. "I didn't hear that."

Ryusuke leans over me and wails, "Nothing! We were in the wrong lane because he refuses to do U-eys!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that," repeats the voice. "Can I take your order?"

Now it's Chiba's turn to shout into the speaker. I get a mouthful of his curly brown afro and a whiff of his smelly underarms. I thought he remembered to pack deodorant but apparently not. That or he didn't remember to throw any on this morning. Either way I'm intoxicated and immobile.

"LOOK LADY, US AND THE VAN BEHIND US ARE NOT ORDERING ANYTHING SO CHILL OUT!"

…I think that maybe, just maybe, we needed a break from driving all day.

We hear murmurs come out of the speakers and the next thing I know a man with a cartoon face dressed in black and white hooped jail attire is blocking the drive-through lanes only exit onto the freeway.

The silence in the van is heavy. We can hear everything around us. We can hear him mutter a continuous, "Burger, burger, burger," as tips his wide-brimmed, also striped, hat at us.

"Oh, no," breathes Ryusuke. We all look to him for American guidance. He pulls the weirdest face I've ever seen him make. He looks like a cross between a snarling dog and a chipmunk with its cheeks full of acorns. Which would be quite the hybrid in my opinion.

"That's the Hamburglar," Ryusuke says with dread. "I hated him when I was a kid." I personally don't care what the Hamburglar is. If he doesn't get out of my way right now he's going to be a squishy-burger. I revved the van's engine. Unfortunately, the van doesn't give out a ferocious roar but instead coughs and sputters dolefully.

"Robble, robble," it says. It seems to be incapable of speaking sensible words but what do I know about a guy in a red cape with matching gloves? Speaking of which, the Hamburglar places his puffy gloves on the front of the van and points not towards the freeway but to vacant spaces in parking lot. I don't believe this. It's motioning for us to move the van out of the drive-through lane and to the parking lot.

"Don't do it Taira," whispers Chiba. "That thing's going to kill us all."

"Well, what do you want me to do? The only way to get past that thing is to run it into the asphalt. Then we'd really be in trouble," I warn, as practical as ever.

"Okay, pull over, then, when it moves out of the way, we make a break for it," Ryusuke plans. Everyone just looks at him. That's a pretty open ended plan he's got there. But it shall have to do.

I pull over into a vacant parking space and a quick look behind me shows that Rylie has followed. She parks on the opposite side I'm driving on but I can still catch her 'what the hell are you doing!' face. We all watch as the Hamburglar comes around the side of the van and pokes his head through the window. I lean away from the terrifying bunch of fabric cringing.

"Can I get you and your companions to step outside of the vehicle and take a breathalizer test? Robble, robble," it concludes. Ryusuke quickly translates and we exchange looks of distain. It would seem as though the Hamburglar is actually a police officer in thief's clothes. What do they call that again, a wolf in sheep's skin?

At this point I'm not sure what we should do. On one hand we could try and make a break for it but then our license plate would give us away later. On the other hand Chiba's been drinking and we have alcohol and minors (Saku and Koyuki) in the back seat so I'm pretty sure we would get arrested anyway.

"Ryusuke?" I poke him, "What should we do?"

Ryusuke leans over me slightly to speak to the Hamburglar. "I'd like to see your badge."

The Hamburglar takes off his head to reveal a man in his early twenties. He's young for a police officer and probably not very experienced. "I beg your pardon?"

"I said: I want to see your badge before we do anything. Just to make sure your not fucking around with us." Ryusuke smiles charismatically and the young man in the costume frowns slightly, probably appalled at Ryusuke's choice of words. His language isn't exactly the cleanest. I'm just glad that Chiba hasn't quipped up yet.

There's a moment of silence (not including Saku who's shuffling in the backseat with the map) before the man breaks it with, "My uniform is inside the restaurant. You'll have to wait momentarily."

"Sure." Ryusuke replies.

The man nods curtly before waddling towards the fast food joint with the Hamburglar head under his arm. He steals glances over his shoulder occasionally.

"Okay, when he gets inside the place, we get out of here," Ryusuke whispers into my ear. "If we go over to that exit we should be fine. There's a blind spot where the security cameras don't film."

This was not going to end well, I could feel it. We would all get charged for evading a police officer in another country, Chiba would get charged with public intoxication and I, being the oldest, would be held responsible for the happenings. Not to mention Rylie and her band mates would be dragged into this.

Ryusuke seems to sense my discomfort as we watch the guy slowly make his way to the building doing his customary waddling motion. The clothes must be too big on him. Another look towards him and I see he's nearly inside now. "Taira, don't worry about it, by the time they catch us we'll be famous enough to be able to hire a lawyer to defend us. Besides, they have no hard evidence against us." He coughs, "Except one traumatized waitress. But, whatever, they have no proof."

I suppose I'm supposed to feel better but in fact I feel worse. Seeing as the man has now made it to the doors I have no more time to debate the pros and cons of doing one thing or another so I just go along with Ryusuke. It's all his fault if we get arrested.

I pull out of the parking space with a screech burning rubber and check my rear-view mirror to see that yes, Rylie is following. Thank goodness, if she were left behind I would feel guilty for the rest of my life. But, now is no time to look back, we have to get onto the freeway.

Oh wonderful, a half clothed Hamburglar is coming after us. Oh, but what's this? Kids are pouring out of the restaurant and clobbering him? I let loose a holler as he gets knocked to the ground and the demonic children jump on top of him. It's too bad both vans are too far gone on the escape route. Waddle-waddle-waddle robble-robble. What a sick laugh.

We're now on the highway and speeding along at the speed limit. Saku took the time to plot our next means of travel while we were stuck in limbo and now, going the right way and actually knowing which exit to take, I think we can get there. Alright Phoenix, Arizona, bring it on! Or not, that's fine too.

* * *

Always maintain eye contact when playing the dominant seducer.

Truthfully I read that in a magazine somewhere and right now after the McDonald's incident I really don't think to meeting Rylie's eyes would get me laid. But, at least we're at the hotel. That has to count for something.

Both bands check in simultaneously and everyone's tired from the long drive so I don't get remarks about my non-U-turny-ness. Normally I would be happy about not being made fun of but travelling alongside the Flux makes things a little different. A small part of me kind of wants Rylie to notice me. Even if I fucked up.

We haul our gear into the hotel lobby before parking the van for the night. I personally don't trust the van's locks and I've heard so many stories about band gear being stolen right out of their gigging mobile that I just don't want to risk it. Thankfully, the hotel staff see us and cringe. Then they say that rather than try and carry all of our crap up to the third floor of the hotel to put our stuff in a storage room on the first floor. This miracle could be because they either feel sorry for us, are practicing being generous or are genuinely worried that we may sue them if we break our gear whilst trying to scale their stairwell. Anyway, they give us a key to the storage room and Beck, plus the Flux, are saved from carrying a few extra pounds up a narrow water-rotted staircase.

We're all so tired that we don't bother checking to see whose room is whose; instead everyone just throws their body down on the first flat surface with a blanket they see. I find myself sharing a bed with Chiba of all people and, too emotionally and physically drained to care, fall asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow. Actually, it could've been Chiba's leg, but details aren't crucial.

* * *

We woke up a lot latter than usual and I was glad for the chance to sleep in. I, however, was not prepared to wake up in Chiba's arms like his personal teddy bear. A teddy bear that he had drooled all over. But, that's in the past. It's about mid-day now and we're outside the venue waiting for The Burning Lesbos to finish up their sound check so we can start ours.

The Burning Lesbos were not a lesbian band like we had originally thought upon hearing the name. In fact they were a group of gay guys who were all very nice and civil to everyone. The girls seemed to get along with them great but Chiba however didn't appreciate them. I don't think he found their attention to his ass all that flattering.

A brunette Burning Lesbo walks up to me with a cheeky smile, "You guys can set up your stuff now. We're all done." He turns to leave and winks at me. Oh my.

To add to my current discomfort Ryusuke sees the flirty move and lightly elbows me, "You don't swing that way, do you? Because, if you do, I'm sorry for all the times I've said –"

"Believe me, I don't." I cut him off as I stare lustfully at Rylie whose negotiating with the rest of the Burning Lesbos. I think she's trying to make connections. It always helps in the music industry. In fact, I should be over there mingling. So I force myself to put one foot in front of another until I'm standing next to Rylie and wondering why everyone's gazes are on me.

A redhead sidles up to me, "So, Taira was it?"

I nod speechlessly as I hear my name. He rubs up to me too close for comfort.

"I heard from Rylie that you're a pretty mean bass player. I play bass too. _Maybe we can have a session together sometime?_" he says with hooded eyes and a smirk, probably not informed that I can only understand a little bit of what he's saying.

I send a pleading look to Rylie for guidance.

"Err, he says you're a good bass player…"she trails off like there's more but she doesn't continue so I just nod in Redhead's direction absentmindedly.

"Alright, see you later then, Taira!" Redhead winks and then saunters off in the opposite direction. Rylie coughs nervously. I feel like I've missed something here.

"Um, Taira I-"

"Taira! Sound check!" someone yells. I turn away from Rylie and squint into the distance to make out Chiba waving his arms around trying to get my attention. He's jumping up and down on the spot and people in his vicinity are creating a wide berth around him for safety reasons.

"Coming!" I yell back to him. He heads inside the venue after receiving my confirmation.

When I turn back to apologize to Rylie for my rude behaviour I find her already gone. I breathe in the fumes from passing vehicles when I sigh gloomily.

But, I don't dwell on her for much longer because duty calls in the form of Ryusuke screaming at Koyuki for something or other. I march up to him and debate grabbing him by the scruff of the neck. They say this works with cats. One just holds them suspended in the air and they calm right down. From experience however I've established that Ryusuke is no cat but rather a bull-headed dog. A Bulldog? Naw, that'd be giving him a pedigree and don't we all know he's just a mangy mutt vying for attention. Then again, aren't we all being performers and such?

Soon I begin setting up with the others and going over the more technical things with the sound guy. The show is due to start in a little less than an hour and people are filtering in with their respective sub-groupings. University kids come in packs of four or more, business guys wearing suits with ties come in twos or threes to get their alcoholic fix, and some high school kids looking wide-eyed at everything like they were jacked up on shit come in packs of five or more. It's the high schoolers that I find the most interesting. Some of them are wearing brand name clothes with no affinity for dirtiness and wouldn't last a minute in a mosh pit while some are sporting mohawks, several piercings and studded jackets. I know what kids I don't want to piss off tonight.

Beck finishes up with their moving around of equipment and testing of sound and we collectively take our free drink vouchers we got from the manager to grab a beer at the bar. I look around for Rylie and see she's doing the same with her band mates. Alcohol is good to loosen up the pressure on the band before playing the gig. I always get a bit of pent up tension running through me just before stage time but once I step foot on the stage it just magically washes away. I think Koyuki has to go as far as playing the first few chords of a song before he starts to feel at ease.

I don't waste anymore time at the bar and take a spot on the main floor of the back room. The stage stands only eight inches or so higher than the floor. With plenty of kids and frown-stressed foreheads belonging to aged adults already in there to watch, I need to stand at the side by the entrance to the men's room to get a good view.

The Burning Lesbos heave their bodies onto the stage and hook up their instruments. Before I know it the four guys are playing hard, fast rock. Very guitar-heavy. Plenty of distortion and speed. And I can imagine Koyuki is thinking "Very, very cool."

But, a lot of people really aren't digging it. There's a bunch of serene faces, which leads me to think that this crowd has seen it all. That or they don't really give a rat's ass about the boys up there crunching their picks over their guitar strings or the drummer twirling his sticks. Maybe they're just here to buy drinks and chat with old friends rather than immerse themselves in the music. I really hope not because that's bad news for us.

The Burning Lesbos were on their third song of their six song set and not much has changed. There's still no energy and I can see they have little to no stage presence. From what I observe I come to the conclusion that they are some kind of strange punk-pop band. I can't say I particularly dig their music since punk-pop is in itself contradictory. I mean, how can one indie band pull off being 'punk' which is an expression of ones own individuality and 'pop' which is conformist? The answer is that they can't, or at the very least they're having a bad day.

I feel a hesitant touch to my wrist and face Rylie.

"They're unbelievably bad, aren't they?" she says with a pitying look on her face as she regards them strutting around up on stage in leather pants and shirtless. Even though Rylie has just appeared in a short skirt I stay very turned off because of the sight on stage.

"That's harsh. They're not bad. They're just not good," I tell her grimacing when the Brunette of the band attempts a sort of Eddie Van Halen solo but doesn't quite get the right response from his effects pedal.

I attach myself to Rylie's hip when she goes off to find her band mates for their set. I have nothing better to do than follow a girl around. I mean, I suppose I could be helping Saku keep Chiba from drinking one too many beers before our show but that would end with me nursing an injury. So, I just stay with Rylie and make small talk about the many different switches on my amplifier until The Burning Lesbos last song. Then Fidelity Flux takes the stage in feminine lulu.

I don't think I've ever watched a set so intently in my life. Have I ever mentioned Rylie's singing voice? Her whole band belts it out but when she sings solo her English lyrics always hold me captivated. It's not like she has Koyuki's talent for melting and breaking people's hearts but still her voice carries it's own unique blend of punk with a streak of female hard rock kind of reminiscent of Vixen. Hearing her songs makes me want to learn English even more just so I can decipher what her songs are about.

Furthermore, on the topic of Rylie, I have to admit the way her skirt sways from side to side as she changes chords and rocks with her bassline kind of makes me feel like I'm watching a porno tailored to a musician's needs. She's so seductive and every roll of her hips makes me just that much giddier.

_If we get closer to the stage there's a chance we can look up her skirt!_

Oh no, not you again! I thought I got rid of you, stupid little devil thing!

_Haven't you guessed yet? I'm your hormones, dude!_

Oh wonderful. I was afraid of that. Go away.

Hormones: *snort_* Go away? Really? You know, I'm only here to pester you because you've gotten an extreme lack of tail as of late. I mean seriously, sometimes I wish I were Ryusuke's hormones, at least then I'd get some. _

Feel free to leave any time you want you ungrateful freeloader.

_No way man, I'm here to give you sexual – I mean spiritual – advice._

Right. Let's hear it then smart guy.

_Well, you have to show her you want her pretty badly, and I don't mean go strutting around with a hard-on when ever she's near but-_

I don't go strutting around with a hard-on!

_Really, what about right now?_

That's barely considered – wait, what were you getting at before?

_Ah, so now you seek my advice, eh? Sorry, but I'm leaving now that you're paranoid._

Wait, come back! Give me your advice! I can't believe I'm pleading with a figment of my imagination but…

_Just go talk to her! As corny and overused as this line is: let her know how you feel about her! It's simple, just strike up a conversation and spill it!_

But…what do I say?

_Just tell her the truth, that you want to fuck her-_

Argh! That'll never work on a girl like her!

_Whatever, that's what I'd say anyway…_

"Taira, enjoying the show so far?"

I cough nervously, not because I can actually understand most of what this Redhead Burning Lesbo is saying to me but because he has one of his fingers hooked on my belt loopie. I picked the wrong day to go belt-less.

I disengage his hand without much of a thought. This only makes his smirk grow wider and more maliciously determined. He pushes his body up against mine and puts his hand up my shirt slightly to lightly graze my bare skin.

I can't believe a gay guy is trying to pick me up. I mean, I have no problem with homosexuals but I just…dicks don't exactly do it for me. But, I'll be damned if I can't try and convey my distain for this guy through actions.

So I push his hand away and frown at him, hoping he'll get the picture and leave me. If all else fails I may have to resort to yelling at him in broken English. Which would attract unwanted attention I'm sure.

"Playing hard to get, huh?" he says huskily. "I like guys like that."

I squirm uneasily and glance around for somebody, hopefully Ryusuke or an English speaking person, to save me from the confusion. I have no idea how to start explaining my sexual preferences to this guy without hurting his feelings.

But, as I'm looking around, my eyes catch with Rylie and at that moment we stare at each other fixedly. Then, Redhead leans in with open arms to envelope my body. I break eye contact with Rylie, praying that she wasn't actually staring at me to begin with. I can't take much more of this, so I duck out of his arms and stalk off in the opposite direction of the stage, hoping to find Ryusuke to convey to him my predicament. Of course, knowing Ryusuke, he would laugh and fail to help me much.

I find Saku first. He ignores the Redhead following (stalking!) me and instead hurries me along to help him find Koyuki. Fidelity Flux has almost finished their set and we need to go on next. I think I need a cigarette or another beer first to calm me down enough to not make a fool out of myself when on stage.

We find the guys backstage, writing stuff on the walls in Sharpie marker, phrases to remember us by. Just the usual, 'Beck was here!' stuff. Oh, and the 'Chiba is bad-ass'. Only he's having trouble spelling 'ass'. But I'm not going to point that out to him when I have much more important things on my mind right now.

"Taira, where've you been?" asks Chiba pointing an accusing marker at me. Any closer and I'm going to have a black dot on my nose. I strike his arm down before that happens.

Ryusuke grins knowingly, "He was probably off getting the hotel room numbers of girls."

I cough, "Actually, no, no I wasn't." Some dude was trying to get it on with me, but Ryusuke doesn't have to know that.

They all just shrug and turn their attention to our set list. I know what songs we're playing tonight so I lounge around until it's time to take the stage.

When we start our first song Chiba jumps, spins, thrashes, and kicks onstage. It's like watching someone being electrocuted. He's crazy and can sometimes get really out of control. Early on it's apparent he's had too much to drink.

But at least we still sound good. At least on stage anyway, I have no idea what the people in the crowd are hearing. But, most of them, all fifty or so people, are jumping around or at least wagging their butts in time with my bass. It's a rewarding sight, especially after our last gig went so horribly.

But all good things must come to an end. The audience doesn't demand an encore so we step off the stage and begin the long drawn process of packing up. All the while I scan the hordes of people for my love interest and of course my non-love interest, Mr. Redhead whom I don't know formally. I don't want to ask his name either as that may encourage him.

It's when I'm alone in the parking lot that my luck finally runs out and I almost walk right into one of The Burning Lesbos. Then, all four of them appear. What goes through my mind next is nothing short of gang rape.

"Hey, Taira, we've been looking for you," the Brunette guitarist of the band rumbles. He seems to be the band's leader. Redhead is glaring at me, none too pleased with me after I brushed him off earlier.

Oh great, I was afraid of that. I don't say this out loud though since it would be pointless. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder. Horrified I tense and wonder just who the heck is sneaking up on me.

Oh! Ryusuke, glorious black-haired freak of nature! How I've missed you so! This too I don't say out loud. For obvious reasons.

"Oh, hello…Ryusuke, was it?" The Brunette wonders aloud.

"Ya." Ryusuke's nonchalant reply baffles them.

"You guys completely blew us out of the water today," says a Blonde earnestly, the Lesbos rhythm guitarist. He reminds me of Koyuki in a way. His eyes tell me of his innocence. I don't think he'd participate if it came down to gang rape.

"No kidding, you guys weren't that good," Ryusuke says by means of reply. I feel my stomach plummet, that's so not the right thing to say at a time like this. Now they're probably going to beat us up. Why oh why does Ryusuke have to pick a fight with them!

The guys in The Burning Lesbos exchange weird looks. Finally after the lull in conversation the Brunette turns to us and says, "Yeah we kind of figured we weren't that skilled."

"We've actually been thinking of quitting music for some time now," the Blonde tells us.

"This was supposed to be one of our deciding gigs. It seems that we suck big time and that's okay. We've been considering returning to our home town and pursuing a different career."

"Oh," I say after Ryusuke finishes translating for me. That's too bad. I ask Ryusuke to ask them what they were thinking of doing with their lives instead. He relays my question to them.

"We were going to try and succeed in the modeling industry."

"Male models," Ryusuke says to me with a crooked smile. I can tell he's trying not to burst out laughing hysterically and after hearing that I'm finding it hard to keep my own composure. I tell Ryusuke to tell them to wish them luck. He does and they smile appreciatively.

"So, we're going to pawn our instruments off in this town and then head home. But, we were wondering if you guys had any use for this trailer thing we have. I mean, we got it by accident and nobody really has any use for it…its kind of junky looking," admits the Blonde. "But we've never had any problems with it!"

"How did you get it by accident?" I ask tersely. Ryusuke relays my enquiry to them.

"Um, we were drunk and gambling…maybe a little high too if you want to be specific. Not the best of combinations," the Brunette snickers. He appears to be avoiding the actual question. "But, the trailer's good for putting instruments and stuff in it, which is why we kept it in the first place. It has a killer lock on it, which we actually have the key to, surprise, surprise."

Ryusuke doesn't ask why they won't sell it and instead he smiles sweetly, "We'll take it off your hands. Our van has a hitch on it."

I groan. It's so like that black-haired freak to take freebies.

* * *

**A.N.:** Some people might not like the content of this chapter and I say sorry in advance. But hey, I warned you at the beginning of the chapter and this is FANFICTION for Pete's sake! (Who is Pete anyway?) I also didn't give The Burning Lesbos proper names because they're not going to be reoccurring characters in the story.

So, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and a little constructive feedback would be much appreciated. And for those wondering who the Hamburglar is just type it in on Google Images and you'll see.

BTW, this may be my longest chapter yet:

So, hopefully you'll hit the **review** button on your way out…

~Reiki


	8. Town of Small Diners and Cowtippers

**Author's Note**: Thank you Amaris Solbes, Brendon and to rutger5000 who is an honest and down-to-earth reviewer. I respect that.

On another note, the real problems are just beginning in this chapter and don't be deceived by the ending. Haha, read on.

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain random people.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and later scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 8 – Town of Small Diners and Cow-tippers

* * *

"I always did hate your green eyes. They're creepy."

"My eyes are blue, you louse!"

I glare at Ritsu who brandishes an empty coke can at Chi. We did not have time to be discussing whether or not Chi's eyes were green or blue; we had to get on the road to our next gig in Las Vegas.

I hear a knock on the hotel room door. The girls ignore the knocking and keep on with their senseless banter. I sigh and move to see just who the hell it could be this early in the morning. I open the door to reveal…Taira.

Who is actually, believe it or not, the last person I want to see this early in the morning. Why? Because he failed to inform me that he's gay and finds that Redhead more attractive than me and which in turn means I had been crushing on him for no reason at all. Just to sum it up. So, I'm a little ticked off at him.

"Hey Rylie."

Don't you 'hey Rylie' me. "Hello Taira. What brings you here?"

"Um, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a second?"

"We're talking," I state leaning against the door frame lazily, knowing full well that he means for me to step outside so we can be alone. But, anything he can say to me he can say in front of my band mates. Well, Kim anyway. She's the only one not involved in the fight over whether or not Chi's eyes are blue. Again, the stupidest things get those two riled up.

He looks uncomfortable so I bite the bullet and step outside, quickly shutting the door behind me. With my hand firmly on the door handle in order to keep people in or, if the need arises, make a hasty escape, I turn my attention to whatever he has to say to me _privately_.

"About last night…"

I suck in the dry hotel air. This is it. He's going to tell me he's gay and we're going to remain friends for the rest of our lives. The sad, sad moment I've been waiting and staying up all night staring at the mouldy hotel ceiling for. Ever since I saw that Redheaded scum bag attach himself to Taira during our set last night. I sigh and await the words that will seal our fate for all eternity. What can I say; mornings make me a drama queen.

"…um, we got this free trailer."

"Huh? A what?"

"It looks like a U-haul but it's not, it's a little smaller. It's just a regular old trailer with a lock. I was wondering if your band wanted to put some stuff in it. Since it's big enough and we have more than enough room…if your van is really cramped…" he keeps staring at me. I think my face is looking more confused by the second. "…I mean, we won't steal anything and we're going to the same locations…I just figured you'd…like to free up some space in your van?" He finishes rambling and I just stare at him for a full minute.

"What?" My, my, am I eloquent this morning.

He coughs nervously and draws his shoulders up tensely into a sort of shrug.

"That's what you wanted to talk about?" I shake my head, "Really?"

His lips twitch into a smile ever so slightly that if I'd blinked I would've missed it. There's just no way to stay mad at this guy, but still, I have to get something confirmed. I don't think about it any further, or weight any pros and cons, I just ask.

"Are you gay? I mean I don't care or anything," Lies, bloody lies, "But I'd just like to know."

He chokes, probably on his own saliva. Now would be a good time for somebody to invent a way to take words back as if they'd never been said in the first place. Of course, this technology has yet to reach us mere mortal beings.

"Why do you say that? Do I look gay? Cause I'm really, _really_ NOT gay."

"What? Then why were you cuddling with that guy last night?" I wonder aloud before I can hold my tongue. Maybe he's just scared to admit it. I also wonder if his band mates know.

"THAT GUY WAS TRYING TO MOLEST ME!"

"Oh." We lapse into an tongue-tied silence. I hope nobody heard us or we have some serious explaining to do. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. My bad."

He pushes his hands deep into his jacket pockets, "Don't worry about it. Weirder things have happened in bars."

"Oh yeah? Like what?" I'm curious. I've had and traded my fair share of bar stories.

He shrugs, "Chiba fights with a lot of people when they make aggressive moves towards him. Just about anything will set him off. Like, there was this one time when we were bombarded with these bendy straws in the face. He wanted to beat the shit out of whoever had thrown them. And this other time when he whistled at a few girls and their boyfriends –"

I don't listen to his other story. I'm in shock that he was the guy Ritsu had hit with those damned straws. What a fucking coincidence.

"Rylie? Are you okay? You don't look too good," Taira has his hands on my shoulders and I'm brought back to the present with his warm touch and his face mere inches from my own. I nod curtly and tell him I'm just fine. I was just thinking of the possibilities of meeting him again way back then when we were still in Japan. Would we still be friends? Would Chiba have tried to beat Ritsu up? Or would Ritsu beat Chiba up? All those 'woulds' would be the death of me. Haha, okay, I'll stop now.

The first chords of a Dying Breed single radiates from the pocket of my sweater. I stiffen in shock, partly because I wasn't expecting it and partly because I had been staring so closely at Taira that I'd effectively tuned out the rest of the world.

"Is that your ring tone?" Taira asks. He quirks an eyebrow and smiles wryly. I can't say for sure but he seems to like my choice.

"Yeah, I wonder who could be calling me this early in the morning? I hope it's not Al telling me he lost my cat," I say with a nervous laugh. Al could have very well lost Ralph. I flip open my phone, not bothering to check the number.

"Hello?"

"Rylie? We have dire news."

My stomach sinks, "What, what is it? Who is this? Is my cat alright?" Taira looks at me in concern.

"Don't you recognize my voice girl! I'm offended, really. It's your manager. I just got a phone call from the Psychedelic Rainbow, the venue you guys are set to play in Las Vegas."

"Oh?" Oh no, what now…

"They had to cancel you guys since their building is condemned. Apparently half of it collapsed the other day. Which means you girlies, and Beck for that matter, have no show in Las Vegas."

"Seriously? What do we do? I'm not sure we have enough money to live off of if we don't play another show soon. We can't wait until we get to Salt Lake City in Utah…plus that's a lot of gas money we don't really have."

Taira is so confused right now. I should put Mr. Yamada on speakerphone, since I feel he needs to hear this too. So I inform Mr. Yamada about Taira and soon Taira is all caught up with our current state of affairs.

"So, what do we do?" Taira beats me to asking this question once again.

"What we over here in Japan were thinking is this; take whatever money you guys have and focus on making it to the next state on the list. We'll spot you if you're short a couple bucks. Otherwise, maybe busking is still an option."

"You've got to be kidding me," I mutter. Still, there's not much else we can do. Besides, busking could be fun. Or it could be downright torturous, especially since I don't even have a damn amp. Actually, this could be the perfect excuse to spend time with Taira.

"And your cat's fine Rylie," he adds as an afterthought.

We hang up soon enough (damn phone bills) and Taira and I sigh heavily. Trying to get a new gig on such short notice would be suicidal and fruitless. Nobody (unless you're AC/DC,) can get a booking in a little less than two days prior. It's hardly ever been done, and nobody's going to want two little known Japanese bands to play at their bar.

"Crap," Taira mutters, his eyes downcast. "This actually happened to us last time in Las Vegas. We were cancelled then too. Well, what can you do? For Beck it's always been one step forward and three steps back." He glances all the way down the hall at Koyuki who's ambling around and getting something from the vending machine. Jeez, I wonder why he looked at the kid when he said that…

I shake my head to clear my mind of any wandering thoughts and sigh, "We might as well get going soon. We have about two days of driving ahead of us to get to Salt Lake City and no hotel break in between. We're sleeping in our van – what about you guys?" I ask.

He shrugs, "Yeah, more than likely, we did that quite often on our last tour."

Taira leaves to inform his band mates of the change in plans. I too must face my possibly furious band mates. I hope they don't bite my head off when they find out.

With that comforting thought I push the hotel room door open and come face to face with Ritsu who has fixed her hair for the day and smells like complimentary shampoo and soap. Personally we like to collect those little bottles since in the long run it saves us money.

"Um, what's up Rylie? Why do you look like death?" she asks. I groan and take a moment to compose myself before I tell her.

* * *

Tree, tree, tree, house, tree, tree, tree, rocks, tree–

"There has to be more exciting scenery than this!" Ritsu cries out. I can only assure her that this would be as good as it gets out here on our merry way to the State of Utah.

"Can't we pull over at the next gas station? I haven't had a good piss to satisfy my bladder in six hours!" Chi exclaims. Boy, if only her posh parents could hear their little daughter's vulgar language now. The mental images make me grin like a Tasmanian devil.

"Chi, I'm following Beck's van, or at least that weird mini-trailer they have hooked on to the back so no, we can't pull over or we might lose them," I say. "Right, Kim?" I need that extra bit of assurance.

"Whatever." A woman of many words our Kimmy is.

"But, Rylie! Can't we phone them and discuss having a break from driving? Surely they need to use a washroom too. It's been six hours…or more!" Chi's absolutely floored by that fact. She is such a city girl at heart. Then again, I am too. I would kill right now to pull over and a use a freakin' toilet.

"They're GUYS! They don't need to use a washroom! They either piss out the window or in an empty beer bottle!" Ritsu claims. As much as I hate to admit it: my drummer has a point. "Besides, in case you girls haven't noticed; we're in an uninhabited desert!"

"It's not really a desert Ritsu," Kim says.

"Okay, so it's got a few weird-ass brown mountains, big whoop. It's still hot and dry and devoid of any life."

"Not true, not true, I think that was a deer! Back there! Didn't you see that thing?"

"Chi, it was roadkill. And I think it was too small to be a deer. It was probably a raccoon or something," I try to reason.

"It got run over! How do you know what size it was before?" Chi argues.

"Um, guys?"

"Well, it couldn't be squished too much, I mean seriously, it's a real animal, not some stuffed toy," I argue back. My hands grip the steering wheel tighter; I just hate to lose an argument.

"Guys?"

"But still, it was brown not black! Raccoons are black and white right?"

"Guys! Shut the hell up Kim's actually trying to talk!" Ritsu yells.

"What!" Chi and I echo each other.

"Thank you Ritsu," Kim starts quietly. "Beck's got their signal lights on. Looks like they're going to pull over."

I loosen my death grip on the steering wheel and peer up the road. Well I'll be. It's like they can read our freakin' minds. Only there's not a gas station in sight. I watch the dust cloud as it moves from the near centre of the road over to the side. We catch up to them and pull over a few feet from their van. Ritsu is the first to leap out of the van.

"Why is it so damn hot out here?" she moans. "Oh, I know, because we're in a fucking desert!"

"You're not used to the climate here. It would be different if you were a local," Chi insists. Why is she blabbing about locals in an uninhabited desert!

I leave those two to their friendly arguments and head over to the Beck van. I approach Chiba first as he's the one closest to me.

"Hey, what are we doing?"

He turns to me with a complete look of mortification. "Something's wrong with our van!"

Ryusuke tries to elaborate, "All of a sudden there was this clunking noise and it sounded like something blew! Taira's trying to see what's wrong but he doesn't know shit about machinery!"

"Hey! Watch it Ryusuke or I'll murder you with this wrench I found lodged in here," Taira quips. I catch a glimpse of a black steel rod as it's waved back and forth in the air threateningly. Taira himself has got his head down into the heart of the front end of their van. I wonder just what the heck he plans on doing with nothing but a wrench.

"You wouldn't kill me!" Ryusuke proclaims.

"Why not, guitarists are a penny a dozen." Taira looks up smugly and Ryusuke huffs angrily. But, they know the other is joking. Those two have a really comical relationship.

I go over to Taira to take a look at what's under the hood of his van. I know a little bit about vehicles since I took an automotive course in high school so I could be useful to him. But, when I take a look at the steam rising up from the inner crevices I take a step back and in my head proclaim that they're doomed. We're in the middle of a desert with one steaming van and a bunch of non-auto savvy musicians.

"We passed a sign not to long ago that said there's a town somewhere close to here," Saku says uneasily. I'm given the impression that the boys have this awful feeling that the van won't make it to Utah. But, what can we do at this point? All we have is one rusty wrench and Saku's minuscule drum tuner that he withdrew from his jean pocket which could possibly work as a screwdriver, I don't know.

After a couple more moments of staring at the steaming vehicle we give up on fixing the problem and pile back into our respective vans. As we get going the steam cloud emanating from Beck's van starts to obscure the road in front of me. We get engulfed by the unnatural fog and are rendered blind. But they don't stop again, they keep going, slowly now, as if going faster than 50kph would cause the van to spontaneously burst into flames. I have to admit I'm getting worried. To think a week ago today I was sitting in my apartment in Japan and not trekking across a desert trying to find a little town that's probably not on any map. Oh well, it could have been worse. After all, it could've been the Flux's van that had been acting like a piece of crap.

In the blinding white fog I see a flashing red light and figure that we're pulling over to give the shittier van a break and let the water vapour subside. So I follow that little red light on the tailgate until we come to a stand still. Then everyone piles out and stretches their legs. This is about when my girls notice our surroundings.

"Wow, Saku was right, there is a town here," Chi says happily. Towns meant not starving to death, public washrooms and of course shopping malls. Of course here might be an exception to all three of those things.

"If you call a couple buildings and a brick fountain spewing an icky black substance a town then sure Chi, we're in a town," Ritsu grumbles and kicks at the dry ground which is more sand than dirt. She's not the best person to stick in a confined space for very long. The occurrence makes her rather cynical to everyone around her. At least we know her well enough not to get offended by any of her wise-crack remarks.

Chi and I go see what's up with the Beck crew while Ritsu and Kim sit on the ground in the shade made possible by the van's shadow.

When we approach I see that they've already attracted the entire town's attention with their crazy van's antics. A burly man with a moustache curled at the tips is speaking to Ryusuke and Taira. He's got an insane amount of tattoos and is wearing nothing but black leather. Not to be a squeamish girl but I'm terrified of Mr. Moustache-and-Tattoos.

"Ye got a problem wit yur radiator here I reckon," lisps the man. His head's bowed to look at Beck's van and he seems to have drawn a crowd of men all sharing similar attributes. About twenty to thirty tattooed guys in leather and with bandanas on their heads are crowded around the silver van.

"Is there a mechanic around here that can help us out?" Ryusuke asks nervously. I can tell he doesn't trust these men.

One of the men howls with laughter, "Ain't no tech around here son! T'is a town of small diners and cow-tippers."

"Cow-tippers?" Koyuki mumbles almost inaudibly.

One of the sharper men overhears him, "Yep, t'is a farming town. We jus' stoppin' in here wit our bikes fo' a bite to eat then it's back on down the highway."

"So, there's no mechanic in this town," Ryusuke says in an estranged voice. Beck collectively sighs heavily.

"We could fix yur van if ye pay us to. Mickey here had almost the exact same problem las' week wit his bike," says the leader of the disgruntled gang. A man with both front teeth knocked out raises his hand and offers a sickening smile. I could hurl on the spot as all of his teeth are rotten to the core and I could practically see the flies swarming around that man's head.

Taira and Ryusuke exchange Japanese that roughly translates to "we don't have any money."

"We're musicians, we don't have any money to pay for repairs at the moment," I tell the men earnestly since Beck seems to have fallen mute.

"Well then," the man with the missing teeth begins. "Perhaps you ladies can put on a show fo' us. That diner ove' there has some old stripper poles that haven't seen action in years."

For the sake of the band I contain my anger and thank the number of deceased musicians that have influenced me that Ritsu didn't bear witness to this exchange. If we weren't in this trying situation I would've kicked his balls in and knocked out the rest of his teeth.

One of the men, this one in a red bandana, looks reproachful, "Sorry about Mikey, ei's had too many Jägermeisters today. He gets kinda pervy after a while."

"Know what, we gonna fix your van if you guys could put on a little music show for us. You guys are musicians after all, right?" The leader asks Beck. They all nod and before I know it…

Before I know it we're all sitting in a cramped diner that smells strongly of spilt liquor, tobacco products and sweaty bodies. Beck has set up at the corner of the room and is tuning their instruments using harmonics. The amps are on top of tables and one of the diner's waitresses has dug up an old P.A. system that was probably hot in the 60's but now delivers a less than stellar performance.

"Play some Gun's N' Roses!" One of the men shouts.

"No, play some Styx!" Another one goes. About ten other voices suggest different bands. I grimace upon seeing Ryusuke drop an amp on his foot. They can't concentrate with all of these requests being made.

"Fuck tha' shit, Mötley Crüe is the only way ta go!" The leader of the band declares.

"STRYPER!" The toothless man screams. Everyone who knows him ignores him but we can't help but be a little unnerved by his frothing mouth and wild blood-shot eyes.

I feel uneasy just watching Beck try and set up. I'm glad they didn't ask about my girls playing since we would be nervous wrecks playing in front of a bunch of scary men. Especially Kim who is at this moment hiding her face under her sweaters hood and sitting in the corner of the booth.

I think I know what they think we are. We're content with just being envisioned as Beck's loyal groupies. For now anyway.

It's not long before a stray chord signifies the start of their hopefully short set. Ryusuke starts them off with a short solo and I notice with mortification that they aren't planning on playing any Guns N' Roses, Styx, Mötley Crüe or even Stryper…they're going to play Mongolian Chop Squad songs…

This is not going to end well.

I recognize the bassline. It's Tabasco, a newer song they'd been working on recently. The bass for this song is aggressive as hell but yet there's an almost comical underlying tone to it. The windows are convulsing with every beat of the song and soon I'm smiling because Beck is good at playing on the spot.

And yet those big hairy men aren't digging it as much as the Flux is. They seem to be undecided about whether or not they're into this new sound.

"Rylie, I'm going to have a little fun," Ritsu says wickedly cracking her knuckles. The gleam in her eyes is so bright I that may need corner store sunglasses. "Watch my back."

I suck in a breathe of stark air. The only times she says that line to me is when she's itching for a fight and needs me for backup in case something goes wrong. And in a bar with a bunch of motorcyclists a lot can go wrong.

"MOSH PIT!" Ritsu screams throwing her body against that of a man more than twice her size (and age for that matter). The man reels backwards and slams into another unsuspecting man who'd been drinking beer. The beer flips in a sweeping arc above the heads of two other men who get doused in a shower of alcohol. This causes nothing short of an uproar. And creates a jumble of cursing and fist throwing men which I suppose reflects Ritsu's original intentions.

I don't plan on staying in the middle of this madness. Soon I'm throwing shoulders trying to get myself to the corner of the room where Beck is all screaming guitars and raging vocals. It seems that the men slamming into one another have only fuelled Beck's fire. I can see Ritsu's ponytail bobbing in the ever growing crowd of men who have joined the swarm of flailing bodies. Huh. I guess not a lot happens in this town since everyone's joining in on the fun.

I end up climbing on top of Taira's amplifier. It's probably the safest place in the room since many men are lifting and throwing bodies on top of tables and smashing empty beer bottles against walls. Even the waitresses are getting themselves into the fray, waving their hands in the air without a care and fending off groping hands with the occasional metal spoon.

"So this is the power of Beck's music," I mumble to no one in particular. My words are lost in the ambient noise all around me. Taira has finally noticed me perched atop his amp and gives me a crazed stare full of adrenaline. He and his band mates are holding nothing back since this is the only way they can hope to overcome their van difficulties.

I watch Taira as he brings his hand down at lightning speed to thump his bass strings and then as he hooks his middle finger around a string and brings it up in a snapping motion. All in mere milliseconds. So precise even though he's not at all following the traditional style of the technique. His wild slapping and popping technique is an art to him, and he's perfected it as so.

I watch the other members of Beck. Saku is an incredibly precise drummer for his age and, being mostly confined to the back of the stages Beck plays on, is often overlooked. Particularly when Chiba's body that's constantly in motion draws everyone's attention. Right at this moment he's in the throw of people, standing on tables or clambering over bodies strew across the wasteland of alcohol shouting into the dinky microphone he brought along from Japan. Then there's Koyuki who, according to Taira, is just learning the ropes. He's powerful for his skill level and with practice he could even catch up to Ryusuke.

Ah, Ryusuke. I once watched an interview of Stevie Ray Vaughn and he talked about how every guitarist has a different way of playing things. I think he used Eric Clapton and Freddie King as examples. They both played this one song with an incredibly inimitable style that was all their own. Ryusuke has something about him, his own unique style that keeps Beck's loyal fans coming back to them time and time again. It's a feeling that I can't hope to describe.

"Rylie, the manager here wants everyone out right now! I overheard him calling the police…" Kim is by my side and soon Chi has managed to wrestle Ritsu out of her own mosh pit she created by dragging her along by her ponytail.

"Oh crap," I hiss. "We need to get out of here."

"And Beck?"

"We should probably warn them," I snap.

It doesn't take long to jump in front of the boys and cause them to halt their music making abruptly. We garnish glares first and then shocked faces after telling them that yes, we have to evacuate before we get arrested in a foreign country.

Ryusuke kind of figures this had been coming so he rushes everyone along when we start packing stuff away. Then, the members of Fidelity Flux help carry things out to the van. It doesn't really matter knowing that the van is probably going to spew more gas out of the front end, what matters now is getting away so we can live to fight another day.

When we get out we spot the silver vehicle. The van, by the way, is occupied by a bald guy with a bowler's hat on. He's leaning up against the van door dozing in the late afternoon sun. It seems as though we will have to move him. Ryusuke advances cautiously. Neither Taira or the rest of his band mates follow. Ryusuke is a brave soul.

"Excuse me!" Ryusuke shouts. "We have to get out of here!"

The man doesn't move. Then Ryusuke does something rather daring. He goes up to the man and shakes him. _Roughly_.

I cringe when I hear, "WHAT THE FUCK!" The man is not happy about being woken up.

Chiba hurls himself forward when Ryusuke is grabbed by the scruff of his neck and, with a crunch, slammed up against the side of his van by a seething biker dude. When the man turns his attention to Chiba who has snatched a handful of his leather jacket Ryusuke is dropped flat on his ass. Ritsu darts past me to grab the man's other side, hoping to help Chiba pull him away from Ryusuke. I would have rejoiced at this display of cooperation any other time but now I can't let myself get distracted.

"Get away from our van!" Chiba yells possessively.

The man stops struggling to break free of their grasp, "Your van?"

"Yes, their van!" Ritsu replies impatiently.

"Oh, well, I can't stand modern rock-n-roll so I stayed outside. I hope you don't mind that I was fiddling with it –"

"You were what!" Ryusuke yells from his place on the ground. "I'll bet it's even more broken now! This is just great!"

"Actually, the radiator cable was just loose and so the –"

After that all anyone hears is "blah, blah, radiator, blah, blah, blah, blah, steam, blah blah, blah, fixed."

Fixed catches our interest. Whatever this guy has done he's fixed Beck's problem for the moment. Then the poor man whose peaceful slumber was so rudely disturbed gets bombarded with thankful words courtesy of Beck. Both Chiba and Ryusuke are apologizing for their behaviour. Ritsu however stalks off in the direction of our van, reminding those that are not bowing down to this godly mechanically- endowed man that the people who have the power to lock us up are coming straight for us.

We girls scuttle to our van. It can't be long now until the police arrive. With a start I am not pleased to discover that Beck has not moved an inch. They're still apologizing and thanking the man for crying out loud!

I smash my palm down on the van's horn which produces a honk that shakes Beck's foundations. Suddenly they seem to remember just what our hasty escape from the bar was for. They spring into action, hurling themselves into their van. Taira has his foot on the gas pedal and the van starts to pick up speed even before Saku has closed the side door.

The Flux give a collective cheer when we see that there isn't a single stream of smoke rising from Beck's vessel. Yay! We don't have to worry about driving blindly!

"Thank God," Kim mutters.

We head off into the waning summer sunset to try and get a few more miles behind us before sleeping in our van for the night. In the distance police sirens are wailing, a far cry from the lullaby of the cicadas back at home.

* * *

**A.N.:** I don't know if anyone notices the random (and for the most part subtle) allusions to certain songs or artists that I sometimes include. Just curious. If you've noticed any drop me a **review** and tell me what you've found! Haha~

~Reiki


	9. Rollercoaster Without Safety Bars

**Author 's Note**: I should mention that not all the details about the actual landscape and such is accurate. I just make educated guesses or try to find credible information. Creeping around on Google Earth also helps.

Also, HUGE THANK YOU to my only reviewer for the last chapter KrAzY-LiTtLe-ImP! You rock! Seriously, you do.

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain random people.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and later scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 9 – Rollercoaster Without Safety Bars

* * *

We were only two hours away from Salt Lake City so we figured that rather than enter the city and try to find a quiet area to sleep at we would pull over while still in the countryside.

Now, getting comfortable in a van with four other people is a tricky thing. Since I was driving I currently had first pick of where I would sleep so of course I choose somewhere besides behind the steering wheel. Its bad enough I spent most of the day there but the night too? No way. So I put dibs on the back seat. It was more or less empty since most of our equipment was in the trailer save for a few cables and such.

We drew straws of different lengths for who would get the next pick. We got the straws from a fast food joint we stopped at a couple hours ago for nourishment since it was well past dinner. These straws were already used (obviously) but whatever, we're eco-friendly. We recycle things.

So I held the straws out for everyone to pick. It didn't matter who drew first so everyone kind of grabbed one at the same time. Then everyone compared.

"Ha! Mine's the biggest! I call passenger side!" Ryusuke yells. Believe it or not this was actually the second most comfortable spot in the van.

"But you've been sitting there all day!" Chiba wails. He has the second shortest straw. Sucks to be him right now because he'll probably get the one side of the middle of the van that's all lumpy and has seatbelts sticking out which will be poking him all night long.

"I call the good side of the middle," Saku says with the second longest straw.

"Ahh man, I got the shortest one," Koyuki mutters. Poor kid, he never lucks out.

We climb back into the van and Koyuki takes my place behind the wheel. I feel sorry for the kid but my remorse is dampened slightly by the fact that I'm deathly tired and ready to pass out. Ryusuke probably feels bad for the kid too but, like me, he's too tired to give a rat's ass about it. Besides, where else would Koyuki sleep?

"This is uncomfortable," I hear Chiba mutter to himself.

With my eyes firmly shut to try and induce sleep I reply, "Then go sleep on the roof."

A long pause and then, "I might just do that."

In the darkness I make out his body moving around, opening the side door and slipping out. But, I don't care because as I've mentioned before it's 2AM and I'm fucking tired and sweaty because it's 5000 fucking degrees out there. Chiba's mad for stepping outside of the vehicle. He'll be back inside when the bugs eat him alive.

With that comforting thought I slip into dreamland.

* * *

"FFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK!"

Ryusuke's screaming his skinny little ass off. Saku has jolted awake, like me, and has banged his head on the side window. And then there's Chiba who is at this moment sliding down the front of the van in broad daylight having fallen off the roof in his fright.

All of this because sometime this morning Koyuki shifted in his slumber and ended up landing on the van's horn. It was a chain of events really.

Ryusuke has jumped out of the van. A look out the window shows me an unpleasant sight seeing as he's puking up his innards all over the side of the road. I'd forgotten that he'd had some alcohol in that bar we'd played yesterday to get our van fixed. That little gig was a flop but whatever; it broke up the tension in the tour by allowing us a working van.

I find a bit of spare cloth in the back and tell Saku to press it to the back of his bloodied head. He must have caught something when he jolted awake besides the window. It's not bleeding too much but still, unexplained bloodstains in our van wouldn't look good if any police officer ever pulled us over.

I clamber out of the van as quickly as my seized muscles will allow. I think I slept on my fretting hand because my wrist is killing me. It feels like it's dislocated but I can't be sure since I've never actually dislocated anything before. Besides if it were dislocated I'm sure it would've turned a shade of blue. Or is it purple? I don't remember what I learned in that health course I took in high school except to put pressure on wounds.

"Saku, just keep holding the towel to your head," I say vigilantly. I don't want him to bleed to death, not when we're two hours from an urban area.

"It's not a towel; it's Koyuki's shirt," Saku says.

"Sit down and stop talking gibberish. It's a towel," I insist.

He obeys me with an inconspicuous roll of his eyes. Huh, so they actually are brown after all. I figured they were but until about five seconds ago I've never confirmed this. I suppose you would call me as blind as a bat in daytime. I don't notice the small things being as scatterbrained as I am.

I watch Chiba as he grunts, twists and swears before finally asking for some assistance on getting unstuck from the windshield wipers. Some screw has caught on the fabric of his shirt when he fell off the roof and its not coming out without a fight so in the end we just rip it. For those out there keeping track we now have a bloody shirt and a ripped shirt. At least we can still wear the ripped shirt and not receive weird looks.

"Who's coming with me to check on the Flux?" I ask with a yawn after we get out the munchy-somewhat-nutritious-snacks. When we stopped at the fast food joint we also visited the grocery store to grab some random junk to feast upon anytime. If we lived on fast food for every meal we'd be sick within the day. And after Ryusuke hurling his guts this morning I've had enough icky-ness to last me the rest of this tour.

"Not me," Ryusuke grumbles. He's paler than ever with his hang-over. "I don't need to see angry half-naked chicks this early in the morning, thanks."

I flush; they very well could be half naked and asleep in their van. A certain body part quivers embarrassingly enough.

Purple undergarments, you haunt me so.

"I'll go!" Chiba pipes up with his hands in the air. I agree to his accompaniment and in seconds we're walking down the road to where the Flux's van is parked in the distance. This is before I realize that Chiba just wants to go to see potentially naked chicks.

"You're a pervert," I tell him with a perturbed frown.

He grins implicatively and punches me lightly in the arm. "So are you, man. This was _your_ suggestion."

I sputter preposterously, "W-whatever." Not true! Or at least partially not true…

We approach the van with caution. Before we left Ryusuke said to us, "Don't peer into their windows, girls tend to dislike 'Peeping Toms'. They'll go all apeshit on your ass. I don't want to peel your dead carcasses off the freeway today, thanks."

He's encouraging, isn't he? Of course, he is right. I'm not going to look inside the van. I'll just…kick the door to wake them up. But, if Chiba decides to have a quick looksie…I'll probably be screwed anyway, right?

Alas, I don't have to give it any more thought anyway. Deranged members of the all-female band have emerged from behind the van. We lock eyes and I swear Chiba falters in his steps with the pensive glare he receives from Ritsu burning into his mind. Jeez, she's scary.

Regardless Chiba's the first one to speak, "Oh, you guys are already awake?"

"Yeah, some idiot honked their horn and scared the shit out of us. If only Ritsu had a gun," Chi shakes her head trying to rid herself of gruesome pictures. "She's got plenty of different ways to kill people otherwise though."

I shudder slightly and turn to Chiba in time to see him swallow nervously. We exchange a 'look' and say nothing about Koyuki. It's very likely that whatever pain Ryusuke can deal him Ritsu can quadruple.

"You have the directions to get to the venue, right?" Rylie asks me. I nod; we do have the directions to the venue in Salt Lake City that we'll be playing at. "Because once we get into the city there's a good chance we'll lose sight of you guys and not be able to follow."

That would be tragic. "Here, Saku's got the directions back at our van."

Chi and Rylie follow us back and chat it up with Saku, Mr. Map Man. Now with a renewed sense of purpose and refreshed memory on how to get to our venue we embark.

The highway is devoid of life in the morning. We don't start passing cars until a good hour has passed and by that time we're all hungry for some kind of sustenance other than what we have laying around on the bottom of the van.

I should also mention one other thing. Chiba is driving. I wanted a break and Ryusuke didn't want to drive so I conned Chiba into taking the wheel by stating that he would've been stuck to the van's windshield all day if it weren't for me.

Chiba's not a bad driver but he's a little erratic in the sense that he never stays at the speed limit and passes people whenever he can. Only now we're in skyscraper-land and that means traffic is more frequent. So frequent in fact that we're almost late getting to the venue. When we pull in Beck doesn't wait up for the Flux to arrive: we unpack our gear and set up. I'm not sure when we lost the girls but it must've been when we started hitting traffic lights.

I keep glancing outside into the parking lot. Ryusuke sidles up to me and tenuously whispers, "Dude, try not to look so freaked out; you're scaring Koyuki and Saku. And that's the last thing we need."

"Sorry," I mutter, "I just hope they haven't gotten badly lost."

Ryusuke rolls his eyes, "I guess. Call them then."

"Yeah, good idea!" I exclaim, a little too happy to be healthy, pulling out that dingy cell phone of mine. I flip open the phone and gaze at the screen which is suffering from water damage. I once accidentally put it through the washing machine. But, at least it still works.

"Glad to be of assistance. Now, I need to piss so if you'll excuse me."

Once Ryusuke wanders off to find a restroom I dial Rylie's number and wait. One ring, two rings, three rings, "Hello?"

"Rylie, it's Taira, where are you?"

"Oh, this is Kim, sorry. " I hear some scuffling in the background and a "here, take it" before I'm transferred to Rylie.

"Taira? Where are you? We're at a gas station filling up on gas. I think the meter on our van is screwed up because we had an empty tank and yet it said it was full. Stupid thing."

"We're at the Cat's Cradle sound checking the instruments right now!"

"Okay, we'll be there in about twenty minutes," Rylie says. And then in a quieter voice I hear her say, "hopefully." My heart sinks.

She doesn't bother saying bye and before I get the dial tone I hear a, "Chi, drive faster!"

* * *

Ugh. My everything ached upon waking up. Oddly enough when I open my eyes all I see is a black blob. I blink a few times and it registers as greasy hair shining in the dim morning sun. I move my head to the side to see this blob at a different angle. Huh.

For some reason or other Ryusuke has fallen asleep on my left arm.

I don't hesitate to push him out of my personal bubble but as I do I catch a glimpse of something else. Specifically, brown curls cascading down milky skin.

Oh, wonderful. Rylie has fallen asleep on me as well. Go figure.

Why is this? Oh. Oh crap. Last night. The gig at Cat's Cradle; it's coming back to me in waves… and I'm glad that even though we all got drunk out of our minds that nobody fucked one another…at least I'm pretty sure nobody did.

My pants are on. Ryusuke's pants are on. And a quick glance around the hotel room shows me that everyone else has clothing on to some degree. Thank God. Bands fucking one another on tour are so cliché.

And now I remember just why all of my band mates plus all of Rylie's are in the same room asleep. That was because the manager of this hotel gave our room away to another paying customer because we didn't put a down payment or something. Ugh. Right. And then Rylie and her band mates felt sorry for us and we were all drunk out of our skulls and bloody tired from playing hard that they offered to let us stay with them on a whim. Otherwise we would've been stuck in the van for another night and nobody wanted that.

Fast forward to now.

I pushed Ryusuke to the far side of the bed and I didn't bother trying to be sneaky about it either since I honestly didn't care if he woke up or not. Rylie on the other hand… I'm not keen on having her freak out on me this early in the morning. I mean, it's not like we 'slept slept' together, we just slept in the same bed. Only, our positions are kind of suggestive. Any onlooker would've drawn a very crude conclusion. So I suppose it's good that Ryusuke's still snoring.

Her whole arm is draped across my torso, clinging to the other side of my waist possessively and she's snuggled into my side. And the worst part? Somehow one of her legs has wedged itself between mine and its rubbing my crotch as she breathes. In, and out. In, and out. It's very arousing which, coupled with the fact that it is indeed morning, is not good if I want to keep my reputation.

Why is it that every time she's around, my pants feel tighter? One would've thought I'd gotten better at keeping myself in check as this tour progresses, but no. It gets harder because everyday the need for sexual relief becomes greater. Wow, that sounds incredibly dramatic but it's true. I'm a lusty teenager. There, I said it.

It's especially bad when her hand trails across my chest while she sleeps, marking an invisible path ever so daintily. Why oh why did I have to throw my shirt away into the screaming crowd at the end of the show last night! I never did get it back. Some lucky fan got that shirt and in thirty years if Beck becomes famous I might see it on eBay.

Speaking of shirts hers has fallen from her shoulder on one side (it's a wide cut top) and now exposes some of her lacy underthingers.

_Yummy._

Indeed…I mean, no. No. That's taking advantage of her.

_Please, don't try feeding me that bullcrap! You're not even looking away from her!_

What? No! Besides, I thought I got rid of you!

_Dude, like I said before I'm your fucking hormones! You can't get rid of me!_

Ugh, it's too early in the morning to be arguing with myself.

_You got that right monk boy. Now shut up and let's enjoy the view. Get our hand to move our stupid hair out of our eyes._

I lie there, on my back, staring at Rylie. I'm tempted to reach out and touch her, her hair, her skin, her rosy lips…a couple other body parts I'll refrain from mentioning. It's tantalizing.

But her slight movements start becoming recurrent and with a start I realize she's waking up. I should have spent less time staring like a lovesick teenager and more time getting her off of me without waking her. Embarrassingly enough I make a whimpering puppy noise as I try in vain to quickly creep out from under her. This sudden bit of movement causes her eyes to flutter open.

"Hmm…Taira?"

_Good morning sleeping beauty. You're looking exceptionally stunning today._ "Err, hi?" Argh, the thoughts were all there but I just didn't put them to good use! If she weren't still lying on me I'd bang my head against the wall right now.

"Wha…why are you naked?" She asks suddenly as soon as it dawns on her that she's lying on top of me give or take a little flesh.

"What! I'm not naked!" I 'whisper yell', trying not to wake up everyone else in the room. This situation is awkward enough all ready without the underage boys getting a glimpse of me with the Flux's leader sprawled on top of my chest. I don't want to put ideas into Saku and Koyuki's heads. They're still kids!

As I say this she shoots up like a heroin addict and breaks away from me, checking herself over at the same time to see if she's naked. She quickly adjusts her top which covers up any traces of her bra. We're both blushing red and I'm happy that it's at least slightly dark in here since someone with enough sense last night drew the curtains on the windows.

"I'm sorry," I say compulsively.

"Why are you apologizing?" Rylie asks bewildered. I'm disappointed that she's holding her arms across her chest like a shield. This is so awkward for the both of us.

"Um…" I dunno. I don't think telling her that I was apologizing for staring at her everlasting beauty would get me any brownie points. "I just felt the need to say it. I mean, your band has been so nice to us…letting us stay here for the night instead of in our van."

"Oh, well. You can consider it as us settling the debt we owe you. You've been letting me us your amp for the past couple shows…" she fidgets nervously at the end of the bed where she's standing, speaking to me as if I were a complete stranger.

Really? She's just settling a debt to me? That's all? I'm actually kind of hurt that she didn't say it was out of the goodness of her band's hearts.

"…and my band mates and I really like you and the guys. You're a lot easier to get along with than some of the other bands we've met."

I shrug, "Seriously? Ritsu always seems to want to punch Chiba's lights out. Then there's Kim who hasn't said more than fifty words to us all this entire tour. Chi's the only friendly one."

Rylie snickers, "Ritsu has a sort of grudging respect for Chiba, she's a very competitive fighter and she won't stand to lose to anyone. As for Kim, you guys shouldn't take it personally. It's not my place to say what plagues her." She pauses and smiles, a seducing smile that makes me glad that I pulled the bed covers up past my nether regions. "And is Chi really the only friendly one?"

_Okay, here's the part where you get up and kiss her._

What! Now? This is our first heartfelt conversation under the cloak of semi-darkness and you want me to potentially ruin it with a sloppy kiss?

_What are you talking about! Romeo had one conversation with Juliet and then they made out! This is like your billionth conversation with the girl, kiss her already._

But this isn't an old fashioned Shakespeare tragedy play and I'm not a fifteen year old star-crossed lover for crying out loud!

_Someone hasn't jerked off in a while. Jeez, don't take your anger out on me. It's not my fault you almost failed your language class in high school._

"Yeah, I'm glad I have your friendship," I force myself to say. Rylie smiles hesitantly before picking up some clothes and going into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

_Friendship? Yeah, because you're definitely going to be satisfied with that. _

Shut up. I'm just waiting for a window of opportunity.

_Window of opportunity? Dude, that __**was**__ your window of opportunity!_

I groan softly and flop over on the bed defeated by my inner voice. I lie on my stomach and put my face into the pillow. It smells like sweat. Damn. This is harder than I thought it would be. I'm afraid to take risks which I suppose is understandable since Ryusuke nearly got us all killed by Leon Sykes a while back. That's a risk I never want to take again.

Later on, after we get on the road again to the next city on the list, Denver, Colorado, we pass a marquee with the words: "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much space."

This gets the wheels in my head thinking. I'm used to anchoring myself down to something as opposed to floating around aimlessly. People call me practical for doing this. Chiba, however, is the exact opposite of myself; he isn't afraid to let people know what he thinks of them. If they smell like rotten turnips he'll tell them exactly that while I on the other hand will dance around the issue and drop hints. I move around the problem carefully instead of face it head on. This seems to be what I do with relationships as well.

My band mates, my own friends, couldn't write a book about me. Hell, they couldn't even write a short story of my life. I haven't told them much about myself. Which brings me to question myself further. This is not good, I'm ragging on myself.

"Hey Taira, can I drive sometime?" Koyuki pipes up out of the blue, effectively breaking my train of thought. "Saku's been teaching me a few things, since he's going to apply for a licence as soon as we get back to Japan."

This befuddles me. To let the kid drive or to not (To be or not to be?)? He is technically the legal driving age here in the U.S.A. but he isn't exactly qualified. I look to Ryusuke to see what he thinks and he just shrugs passively.

"He's got to learn some time," Ryusuke says. I suppose he's right but still…after witnessing him coming crashing through Ryusuke's fence back in Japan on his bike I've always felt he'd be a scary driver to ride with. It was something about the way he went flying over the handle bars of the bike to land face first in a puddle of mud that kind of unnerved me.

Of course I'm eager to sit back and relax and let someone else have a go at driving. I'm not going to weigh the pros and cons in this situation. "Okay, when we grab food you can drive for the next two hours. That should give you some experience."

Sooner rather than later I have Ryusuke give the Flux a call and tell them we're stopping for lunch. We settle on the nearest little alcove off the side of the highway and eat deli subs. They taste a lot better than regular fast food but I can still feel my body resisting the heavily processed food. Cheese is especially hard for me to digest. So I don't order anything with cheese. It's also partly to blame on the bad memories involving the need for Pepto-Bismol, a gooey pink substance I hope nobody on this trip has to experience.

After eating I pull over to the opposite side of the deli for gas and my confidence is dropped off along with the fast food wrappers that littered the bottom of the van. Now Koyuki grips the wheel white-knuckled. Saku sits next to me in the back seat acting as his coach.

"So just ease the van out of-holy crap!" explodes Saku as Koyuki just narrowly misses clipping a stop sign on the way out of the crowded parking lot. "I'm sorry. It's just that that was a little close."

After making a series of illegal turns, Koyuki gets onto the highway. Traffic is heavy and barely moving. At least, most of it isn't. It becomes apparent before long that Koyuki isn't suited to this kind of driving in the hustling city. During a stop in traffic Chiba switches spots with Koyuki who clambers into the back seat with me and Saku. Now the van swerves in and out of the fast lane, darting around slower-moving vehicles like a madman is driving. Which is true, Chiba has just revealed his inner road rage persona.

"Hey Taira, does this thing have air bags?" asks Ryusuke casually as he sifts through a magazine he'd picked up from a store we'd stopped at for washroom breaks. And here I thought he'd been oblivious to the fact that Chiba's going to get us killed. Before I can answer him both Saku and Koyuki let out terrified yelps after we make an agonizingly close call with a chunky muscle car. The old man driving it blares his horn at us. I sink lower in my seat with the ensuing shame. I feel as though there's a huge flashing beacon over my head pointing to me like this is my fault. I can't help but think it is since I'm the one who allowed first Koyuki and then Chiba to drive. Never again will I allow Chiba to drive in a metropolitan area. Country, yes, city, no.

"God, I hope so," I say to Ryusuke through my teeth as he picks up another magazine, this time an old _Rolling Stone_ with Freddie Mercury on the cover. I'm tempted to grab that mag and cover the younger boys' eyes with it. They're scared stiff beside me clutching their seatbelts like lifelines. Koyuki also happens to have one hand gripping my arm, his fingers holding on for dear life as he clamps his eyes shut, unconcerned that my arm is loosing circulation and turning a funky shade of purple. Getting on a rollercoaster without the safety bars has about the same effect as Chiba speeding down the highway and trying not to miss the exits. I'm just thankful that I had taken the time to ask the salesman at the beginning of the tour if the van had its brakes replaced not long ago.

After a series of swearing courtesy of Chiba's potty mouth we pull into the parking lot of a gas station. At least Chiba has the sense to listen to the van as it beeps, letting the occupants, us, know we're almost running on empty. It's been many hours since I woke up this morning and all this terrifying driving has me dog-tired.

When Chiba cuts the engine Saku practically leaps out of the van and lies face down kissing the pavement so passionately it's almost as if he's making love to it. Koyuki and I pull him up from his affair with solid ground while Ryusuke heads into the corner store to get junk food and other useless shit to add to the bottom of the van.

"Sorry about my less than stellar driving skills," Koyuki says to me meekly.

I laugh a little since he looks like a kicked puppy. "That's okay Koyuki, you just need to take lessons and this isn't even the right country for that."

He brightens considerably, "As soon as we get back I think I'll take lessons with Saku! That way, on our next tour, I can drive!" He's pretty adamant about this. Well, don't we know that when Koyuki has his heart set on something nothing will be able to take him down.

"According to the map we're only about two and a half hours away from Denver, Colorado," Saku says, spreading the map down on the asphalt and tracing our destination back to where we are. I'm really glad somebody in the van knows how to read a map because if it were up to me to find our way we'd all be doomed.

"I'll drive the final leg, alright Taira?" Ryusuke says, emerging from the store with a couple bags of chips. He also has what looks to be an energy drink. He's still American at heart, haha.

"Cool," I reply. Ryusuke can drive, I trust him. For all his slime-ball actions he is decent driver.

We pile into the van and I swear I see a van just like the Flux's pass us by. Then again about another twenty-million vans are passing us by so maybe not. I think too much, that or Rylie has seriously affected my brain.

That or I'm tired. That could be more likely since I've been clutching a seat and staring wide-eyed at the road rolling out in front of the van so intently that I exhausted myself. Yeah, that's it. I'm just drained of all my energy; in fact I may shut my eyes for a couple seconds.

The picture of the world dims and colours bleed out as I doze off.

* * *

"Wake up dough-head! The van's smoking really, _really_, _**really**_, _**REALLY**_ bad!" Chiba chants into my ear. I smack his face away with the back of my hand. But he's persistent, "Taira! The van's on _fire_!"

This jolts me awake, "_What_! Where, how, RYUSUKE!"

"Woah, woah, chill man! I'm right here!" Ryusuke yells. Finally my eyes adjust to the light and I find myself staring at my dark-haired friends. Ryusuke has just put Chiba in a headlock, "And fucking hell Chiba! The van is _not_ on fire!"

"You said you wanted me to wake him up," Chiba mutters.

I sit up and wince as my back cracks. Usually this makes a person feel better but at the moment my back is so sore that it feels even worse. "Why did you guys have to say that?" My masculine voice allows this one to come off as more of a question than a whine.

"Actually, the van just stopped smoking. I dunno, it's like what happened last time only not as bad. Still, it started just a half hour ago. We're at the hotel now. Why else do you think we woke you up? We need you to help move equipment." Ryusuke lays down the facts as I look around at my surroundings. Huh, it's a lot greener since the last time I was awake. A lot darker too in fact. It's well after dinner, at least that's what my stomach is telling me.

"Ffffooooooooood," Moans Saku, impersonating a zombie and voicing my stomach's thoughts. Koyuki sees this as a game and moans along with Saku, "FFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDD!" They continue to howl out their desires and Chiba just laughs.

"Shut up you two," Ryusuke grumbles, rubbing his head. Judging from the rings of dark skin under his eyes he's worn-out from their antics while driving. Thinking about how Saku and Koyuki could've annoyed him while I was asleep brings a smile to my muddled face.

"Let's just get food. I don't know about you guys but I can eat as much as an elephant right now!" Chiba affirms. He pounds his stomach like a true caveman.

"We're on a budget," Ryusuke says to that one. Sometimes he can be such a kill-joy. I must have rubbed off on him.

* * *

**A.N**: And so Taira's horny hormones return to us. I love writing his inner thoughts, it's kind of fun actually. And don't worry; the more intense scenes are hopefully coming either in the next instalment or the one after that. I have it already written and let's just say it involves Chiba kicking some serious ass.

I hope you like this chapter as much as I do and please, **please** don't forget to **review**!

ReikiConvulsion


	10. Building, Burning and Burning Some More

**Author's Note**: I am so, so sorry for not updating sooner. Life decided to knock me down and then kick me when I was on the ground. But, here it is, and the chapter following this one should be out sooner rather than later. Hopefully.

The only reason this chapter has finally made it on here is because of the wonderful valkyriepilot. So my friend, this chapter is dedicated to you who selflessly reviewed and in the process got me to actually write the ending to this chapter! I owe you cookies or something, haha~

I also thank anyone else who has EVER, in the history of ten chapters, reviewed my story. Thank you for getting me this far.

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain people.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and later scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 10 – Building, Burning and Burning Some More

* * *

The first trauma getting out of Denver after playing to a packed bar was when Beck's van ran over a hunk of metal on the freeway. Nothing happened right away; they just clunked on over the steely object while we took a wide arc around it. But then, a few short miles down the road their van's front tires fell off in an incredible blast of sparks and flying debris. I'm more than sure the piece of metal took out their axle or something because there is no way a van just disintegrates like that. So, the van skidded a few feet off into the ditch falling apart as it went and, not to joke or anything since this was a serious problem, it was pretty "Die Hard" style.

We pull over to the side of the road behind the remnants of the Beckmobile. The front end is in the ditch but the trailer is miraculously still on the road. So much so that cars and other vehicles were swerving wildly to get around this little accident. Whatever happened to helping out your fellow drivers in the event of a freak accident?

"Shit, shit, shit," Ryusuke snarls at everything and everyone. His vocabulary seems to have been reduced to a one word monologue.

"Guys get the stuff out of the van, it's smoking really badly right now," Taira says, directing his boys. They gulp in fear but race to take out everything they can get their hands on.

"No shit Sherlock," Ryusuke mutters looking at the ugly dark grey cloud of smoke rising up from the crevices of the van's engine. This looked a lot worse than the steam that came out of the van last time…in fact…

"OH FUCK! FIRE!" Chiba says as soon as he opens up the hood of the van.

"Fire!" The rest of us chorus in dismay, eyes filled to the brim in horror. Every bands worst nightmare; the blazing hunk of metal that cost you several hundred dollars is not going to survive another day.

In a spur of the moment act I rush in to help them unload the combusting van's contents. There is a bunch of oil or something leaking out of the underside of the van and forming a pool of uck that has everyone's feet soaked. Ritsu follows my lead and soon my whole band is throwing armfuls of Beck's CDs, t-shirts, old guitar strings and other unidentifiable objects meters away to where they're hopefully going to be safe. The calamity is heightened when Taira notices that the flames from the front end have spread to the back end. This is where most of the puddle of doom is located.

One would think that someone would stop their vehicle and help us out, but no, everyone on the highway just keeps on driving. Ugh, people these days.

"Koyuki! Leave it! Whatever it is we don't need it!" Chiba yells as Koyuki starts climbing into the van to retrieve something.

"But it's a library book!" Koyuki screams back from the crevices of the flaming van.

Chiba makes a strangled noise as he goes after the younger guitarist. "I'll get you another Jimi Hendrix biography!" Koyuki doesn't move from searching the floor of the van. "I'D RATHER YOU NOT GET KILLED!"

Reluctantly Koyuki allows himself to be dragged out by Chiba via his dangling feet. By now nobody dares go within ten meters of the van as it gradually becomes awash in glowing red-orange light. Truth: a flaming van is as transfixing for musicians as a sunset is for lovers.

"It's a good thing we detached the trailer in time," Ryusuke mumbles to Taira almost inaudibly. Taira can only nod speechlessly. It had been by luck that they managed to get the trailer out of the way of the flames.

"I'm going to…phone Mr. Yamada," I say more to myself than anyone else. It's stony silence here and I swear that any minute now everyone will break down or, at the very least, start sniffling.

The first time I call I receive the answering machine. I don't bother leaving a message and instead try his mobile number. He answers with a cheerful hello which makes me feel bad because I think that by telling him the day's events I will spoil his Japan daybreak. It sounds like he's just had his morning coffee.

"Uh, Mr. Yamada, we have a problem."

"What?" he squeaks.

I repeat, "We have a problem!"

"What?"

"Beck's van suddenly caught fire!"

"Is everyone okay?"

I glance at Chiba and Koyuki who are slumped on the ground with their heads in their hands and their knees drawn up to their chests. "Physically, yes."

"Where are you? Denver?"

"About halfway between Denver and the next destination… Kansas City? Yeah."

Mr. Yamada yells something to someone in the background then returns with, "Are the firefighter people there?"

Frowning as I continue to watch the fire spitting bits of flame into the air I say dejectedly, "No." We hadn't even thought of calling any firefighters yet. I think that will be my next phone call.

He curses quietly. Then I hear him speak again with someone, but cannot make out what he's saying to them. He comes back on the line and the first thing he says to me is, "Please hold Rylie."

"Don't you dare put me on hold! What are we supposed to do?" I yell into the phone but it's too late and he's already gone off for whatever reason. Everyone stares at me because of my little outburst. Unknowingly I seem to have voiced Beck's biggest question, 'What are they going to do now?'

The girls follow me up the road to where our van is parked haphazardly along the side. I have the phone pressed to my ear so hard that there might be a permanent indentation there, waiting for that old man to give me instructions about how to best handle the situation at hand.

I also figure the boys need some time alone to mourn their loss. Or at least to swear and scuff the ground up as angry boys often do.

The girls don't speak a word to me as I wait silently. Instead they whisper amongst themselves while occasionally glancing on down the road. It is not a pretty sight in that direction. The smoke above the van is a black funnel reaching towards space, much like a tornado. At least the fire seems to be going down.

"Rylie?"

I jump when I hear the cracking in his voice. "Yes!"

"I've spoken with Beck's label manager. The best we can do right now is to have a contact of ours in America pick up Beck's van and return it. Hopefully we can get money out of this-"

Naturally.

"-because we had that van officially inspected and it was deemed safe."

"But what do we do now?" I ask, exasperated. I run a hand through my hair and yank at the knots in there.

"I was getting to that," he says irritably. "For now Beck should be able to travel with you girls in your van, since it has nine seats, unless the trailer they 'acquired' has been wreaked as well."

I choke on my own saliva just thinking about having Beck and the Flux in the same vicinity for extended periods of time. "I don't think that's going to work out."

"Why? Their trailer's on fire?"

"No…but there's some…creative differences?"

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you that they have to travel with you girls now. If Beck doesn't continue, the label loses money." He adds in a quieter voice, "And then I'll be forced to drop your band from this label." My mouth drops, rendered speechless.

I digest this, my eyes flicking around to take in my band mates unknowing faces as they stare at me. Why do I have to be the one to tell them the news?

"One second, Mr. Yamada, I have to talk to my girls." I tell him this with a sugar-coated tone but really I want to scream at him. Quite loudly might I add.

"Call me back then, no use wasting money on long-distance phone calls."

I snap my phone shut to hang up and take a deep breath, trying to keep my face as serene as possible. This is hard and there isn't much point in trying to mask my emotions, not when my band mates can all read me like a large-print book.

"What did he say?" Chi starts nervously.

I breathe in a full belly of air again before I dribble the truth, "I think Beck's going to share our van with us for a while."

"NO!" Kim and Ritsu yell simultaneously. A quick glance in Beck's direction reveals them to be staring at us in the distance. I bring a finger to my lips asking for hushed voices. The Mongolian Chop Squad doesn't need to hear this fate-deciding conversation.

"We can't leave them out here to die!" Chi wails in Beck's defence. She ignores my waggling finger to be quieter. I resist the sudden urge to smack her.

"You're being overdramatic Chi!" Kim snaps, quiet enough to show me she's heeded my warning, "Besides, we don't need the extra baggage Rylie!"

"Damn straight," Ritsu agrees with crossed arms. "That Chiba has a stick up his ass. I refuse to travel with him."

I knew now was not the time to defend Chiba against Ritsu. I also knew I shouldn't leave Ritsu and Chi alone but I had to talk Kim into this. If I could convince her then the rest would be easy. I ask tight-lipped, "Can I talk to you privately Kim?"

Kim follows me reluctantly and we walk down the road for a spell. Despite being defiant of this new problem of ours I notice she is rather slack-jawed. She's dreading having the boys move in more than anyone else is at this point. I have the feeling that the root of this problem is the fact that they're boys, not girls. And don't we all know how Kim just hates the opposite sex. They call it a phobia for a reason.

"Look, I know what you're going to say," she starts. "You need to use Taira's amp because we can't afford another one right now. But, I'm _begging_ you; don't you see what a bad idea this is? Think of all of the horrible things that could happen!"

"Like saving gas? There's also power in numbers Kim. Ryusuke can speak English; we can use him to our advantage. I can't translate all the time and be everywhere at once," I say carefully, trying to ease her out of the hell zone. "Besides, you haven't even thought of all of the good things that could come from this!"

"Like what? You hooking up with Taira? Tell me how that benefits the band!"

Is this what it's all about? "I'm not going to put Taira before the band if that's what you're thinking."

Kim isn't scary when she's yelling. It's when her voice crawls down to a deadly whisper when she's terrifying. Like now as she says, "If it came down to it, who would you choose? Would you choose us, the girls with the impossible dream who've stood by you _forever_, or that _boy_ whom you barely know?"

It takes me a split-second to decide, "The band, of course! Why would you even think differently?"

"You haven't taken your eyes off him this whole tour." Then Kim cocks her head and her long poker straight hair casts a curtain over her pale face, "The band's best interest is to leave Beck here and continue on without them. The music industry's a harsh place."

Oh, I know. "We can't. We're on the same label and I'm pretty sure our manager was clear when he said Beck will now be traveling with us." I gulp and then confide in her my worst fears, "Kim, they threatened to drop us from the label if we don't comply…"

Kim gasps in horror. The band is all we have right now. I instantly feel bad for shocking her like this. She has a weak nervous system that's prone to stress. I don't want to be responsible for causing her to hyperventilate.

"Okay, so maybe they didn't threaten us directly, but Mr. Yamada said if we lose Beck the label loses money and if the label loses money then we lose the label."

Kim has a hand over her eyes. They've started to water slightly.

I try to salvage this conversation, "Besides, Beck still has the trailer, it's not like we don't have enough room in our van. It'll be tight with all the seats full, sure, but we'll manage. We've been in more pressing situations before."

She looks to the sky. Anywhere but at me. "I don't want this band to break up."

"We're not breaking up! This is just a test we have to overcome, a challenge. Hell, we might be able to write a song about it when we're done."

"If we get out of this country alive."

* * *

Taira had phoned his label manager. He was in the know even before Chi and I went back down the road to tell the boys the change in plans.

"Are you sure that's okay?" Koyuki keeps asking us. He is such a sweet kid.

"It's fine," Chi bubbles waving Koyuki off. I can tell she's excited about the prospect of having a bunch of boys to play around with. I have a feeling she will want to kidnap Koyuki and Saku and do something strange to them like restyle their hair or something. The way she looks at them is like looking at her next big project.

Having wasted enough time standing along the side of the road Chi and I hurry the boys back to our van. They leave their gear and other things that the van contained before imploding upon itself and Taira expertly manuvers our van to the trailer. The boys do all of the leg-work, us girls just sit around and watch without commenting. I know that Kim and Ritsu still can't believe this is happening and it has, for the moment, stilled their tongues. Later on though I'll bet those two will have a few choice words to say, especially my drummer. I'm just going to hope that those words will come when we are far, far down the road and in slightly better moods.

In the end Taira designates himself as the driver for the rest of this leg of the tour. Since every inch in this van is now occupied we are feeling a slight bit of claustrophobia. The worst part? We haven't even started driving down the highway towards Kansas City yet.

At the very back of the van we have Koyuki, who is squished on either side by Saku and Chiba. In front of them are my girls occupying the middle section. Ryusuke is in the passenger seat with a huge ass collection of magazines he salvaged from his wreaked vehicle and quite frankly I'm _this_ close to throwing them out the window because they are cramping and pushing me over. Then again this is not exactly a bad thing.

See, I'm in between Ryusuke and Taira in the front seat. So when Ryusuke pushes me over I have an excuse to lean into Taira, who either doesn't notice or doesn't mind. Right now we've just hung a left and Taira's speeding us along to our next destination. I'll admit he is a good driver and I do feel safer letting him drive than driving myself, though this would be because I'm still to this day not used to driving in America. It's been a long time since I've been in an English-speaking, right-hand-side-of-the-road land.

Twenty minutes in the groaning starts.

"How much longer?" Ritsu moans.

Nobody answers at first. But then Saku, the brave soul, timidly says, "About two more hours if my map is correct."

I lean over and glance into the rear-view mirror to find two drummers locking gazes. Then Ritsu slowly turns around and the cross look on her face gradually subsides. Crisis averted.

"Oh damn, B.B. King's playin' on the radio," Ryusuke pipes up, oblivious to the tense air around us. He turns up the radio and sure enough B.B. King's soulful guitar comes full blast into our ears. It's, "Let The Good Times Roll," of course.

Taira and Ryusuke are bobbing their heads to B.B. King's soulful music but another glance in the mirror shows me a twitching Ritsu. She doesn't exactly have a taste for blues music. This contrasts with Kim, who secretly loves it. Though right now Kim's so tense that there is no indication on whether or not she's feeling the blues.

"Oooh, sing with me boys!" Chi yells out suddenly and turns around in her seat to look at poor Saku and Koyuki. Saku's mouth spazes into a quirky grin and Koyuki makes a deer in headlights face. They really have no idea what they've gotten themselves into.

And Chiba? Chiba must have gotten sleepy when the blues came on the radio since he's passed out in the backseat. It looks like he's having a good nap seeing as he's drooling all over my band's merchandise. I hope the girls don't notice or we may have to pull over and rescue Chiba's sorry ass.

"Hey, everybody, let's have some fun

You only live but once

And when you're dead you're done, so

Let the good times roll, let the good times roll

I don't care if you're young or old

Get together, let the good times roll"

By now Ryusuke has started mumbling the lyrics and swaying to the beat. This leaves Taira and I to give discerning glances into the rear-view mirror to make sure everything stays PG-13. This also leaves us to small talk.

"Well, I guess we won't be swapping CDs any more since we're travelling in the same van now," I try to joke lightly. Anything to hear his voice.

He gives a rather tight laugh at the turn the tour has taken, "I guess not."

We coast along on cruise control for another couple minutes. Maybe he just isn't in a talky mood today after all. Or, maybe he's worried that at the next rest stop we're going to kick them out into the cold, steal their trailer using Ritsu-force and continue on the tour without them. I guess I'd be nervous too if I were in his position.

Now how to assure him that this wouldn't be the case? Maybe I should go about not saying a darn thing, after all, if I brought it up chances are Ritsu and Kim would want to act upon my thinking. Wouldn't that just be a riot?

So I instead choose another topic that will hopefully spark some conversation, "So Taira, are you getting the debut _Them Crooked Vultures_ CD? I've heard it's going to be really good. Some people have even said it's supposed to be the saving grace of rock music. Though that might be a little far-fetched."

He turns to me slightly, eyes still partly on the road, "Yeah, I'm going to buy it for sure. I listened to a few short clips of some of the songs on the internet before we left and they sounded really solid. Better than the stuff the other supergroups are making, in my opinion."

I grin, "I read the lyrics to 'Mind Eraser, No Chaser' the day before the plane ride. Nice stuff. Then again I love Dave Grohl so maybe I'm biased."

"So you've said," Taira tells me with a soft snicker. "And no, you're right, I like the lyrics too. They're fresh. My favourite line is the one about the monkey."

I think this is what I like the most about Taira. I mean besides his sexy exterior. A lot of rock and roll guys these days don't bother to branch out and explore off the beaten path, they favour the old well-known stuff and the pop music. Taira has a conscious mind and seems to draw inspiration from many different sources, which impresses me.

"I'm just looking at the time and I don't think we're going to be able to sound check. That is of course assuming we get there within the next hour. It's almost time for the show," Ryusuke pulls us back into the reality of our dilemma.

Since the girls had taken such a long time deciding whether or not to take Beck along with us we ended up simply pushing our performance later in the evening closer. Now it's uncertain whether we're even going to make the cut. I don't know if there's going to be another band or two playing with us tonight. If there isn't, there's going to be no one to cover for our little mishap.

We get into the city limits and Saku starts yelling directions to Taira from the backseat. I think we co-ordinated this wrong when we decided on who sat where because having our navigator sit as far away as possible from the driver was not smart.

"You have to turn right!" Saku shouts over the whooshing of cars that are flying past our vehicle.

"I can't; it's a one way lane Saku!" Taira shouts as he reluctantly drives the van forward. You can't stop in the middle of the road after all. Only now we're off the map and Saku has to recalculate, which I've learnt can sometimes take a good five minutes at the least.

"Okay, left!" He finally shouts.

But by then we're already half-way across a four lane street, too late to turn anywhere. Taira grinds his teeth in frustration. Ryusuke and I are in similar states of distress. Looking at the time on the radio we have mounted on the dash, we now have about half an hour until we're expected to take the stage.

"Stay on this road for a second, I think we might be able to loop round-"

"No problem," Taira cuts in to keep Saku from rambling and losing his focus.

I steal a glance over my shoulder to see how my girls are doing. Ritsu and Kim have their eyebrows knitted together and both look a little worse for wear and Chi is half over the back seat peering at Saku's map no doubt. She's probably helping him devise safe routes since she happened to be my navigator when I drove. Plus she's traveled all over Europe with her parents so she's certainly picked up a thing or two.

As for the boys all I can see of Saku is the scruff of hair on top of his head while Koyuki peers down over his shoulder with a vexed expression. Then there's Chiba. We'd long since given him the role of watching the trailer being pulled in the van's wake, to make sure it didn't magically unhitch itself. With our luck it would do such a thing. Plus, I think Chiba feels rather helpless at the moment so the 'job' is to keep him occupied. At least that's what Taira whispered to me when he assigned Chiba his task.

"Okay, turn left, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT!" Saku shouts like a mantra. Taira slows down to a crawl in order to be let into the left turning lane. After this we make a few more fast turns and land ourselves at a venue that has spelt the 'Fidelity' in my band's name wrong. Oh well, I've seen worse on this trip.

Ryusuke and I rush in to see where things are at. The manager greets us sweaty and breathless people apprehensively at first but a hurried explanation prompts him to ask another band to switch around their time slot with ours.

I think the band took one look at us huffing and puffing (it was intense in the van) and figured that most of the people would leave upon us giving a bad performance. This would mean a slow audience for the band playing after us, them.

We thank them politely for their gratuitous offer to swap up with us and rush back to tell everyone to take it easy and not break their backs trying to get everything inside in a jumble of mass hysteria.

After loading our gear into the building we end up watching the band's set. They're good, but I swear to God that every single time I look at the lead guitarist he seems to be looking straight at me. It's rather unnerving. It doesn't help that he's actually quite good looking. This is contrasting with my 'I will not, under any circumstances, kiss the guitarist' way of thinking.

I have a really bad feeling this is going to be a long night of fighting off guys who want to touch my boobs. Hopefully this will just be a feeling.

* * *

I wake up in an unfamiliar bed. As usual, I begin to work backwards to figure out how this has happened yet again. This time though there's no Taira-pillow.

Okay, let's see. I am in America. Right. I played a show last night…right, okay, what happened? Wait, it's coming back to me…Oh. Yeah. Maybe I don't want to remember.

Firstly, that guitarist that played in the band before us was a hottie. Secondly, he turned out to be a real asshole (read: player alert). Thirdly, I spent most of the night trying to get away from him and his creepy followers, which meant that it was a night wasted. Was there a fourth reason the night sucked? Yeah probably; the alcohol I consumed made me a fool in front of the one guy I wanted to impress. I don't think that by now I need to mention his name. It starts with a "T" and ends with an "aww".

At that point I just wanted to get out of there. I found out later on that Chiba had stolen an expensive microphone and that Ritsu had beat the snot out of two guys for reasons unknown to me at this time. I would definitely have to ask someone the details later since the alcohol has made my mind fuzzy. Oh my head…shit it hurts. Did someone throw a brick at me last night?

Right now though is not the time to ask since I seem to have awoken in the wee hours of the morning. The sun hasn't even started shining yet. Actually, the bedside clock reads 2:06am, not an ideal time to get up and eat breakfast. But, I think I'm going to get up because I'm unbelievably thirsty. No amount of alcohol could quench a thirst that only fresh wholesome water could. So I rise out of bed like a zombie and stumble into the bathroom to drink from the tap like a dog. It's too early in the morning to remember I'm a human. By now anyone could guess that I don't handle mornings after an alcoholic beverage binge so well.

I really don't want to turn on the lights. Flicking the switch will blind me, I know this, and I will instantly feel the burning sensation and regret of doing such a thing. So I grope for the sink in the inky blackness and get my fill of water. It's not very tasty, as far as water goes. It makes me want Japanese water…as strange as that is.

I turn around to make my way back to bed and then…_ BANG. CRASH, BOOM, BOOM._ _THUMP. _This is a series of sounds so loud that I cringe and jump to a wide-awake state.

And it's not me, I swear it.

No, it defiantly came from outside, someplace a little farther off than my hotel room. I hear voices now, and for once they're not in my head. For starters they are manly voices, shouting, yelling…but I can't make out a word they're saying. I'm stuck in a bubble!

"You hear that?" Ritsu mumbles, coming up beside me in the dark. I jump and grasp her arm, just to make sure she's really there and not a figment of my imagination. By now I've moved out of the bathroom in fright.

"What the hell was that?" She wonders again, this time louder with more energy. She is hardly someone who enjoys being woken up, early or not.

"I dunno." Boy, do I have an expressive intelligence in the morning.

Ritsu growls lowly as she stomps over to our room's door. She rips the door open and bellows, "Shut up out there!"

Unbelievably, someone actually answers, "There's a thief! Someone tried to break into a vehicle in the parking lot!"

We take one look at each other, blinking wildly in the dimly lit hallway and rush down to see what this man in his late thirties has to say.

"One of the hotel staff tried to stop the robbers but he got clocked in the head something fierce," the man then nods toward the hotel lobby where there is a crowd of scantly clad people standing around, "We're waiting for the police and an ambulance to come. I feel sorry for the poor guy who was on the receiving end of the metal pole they wielded."

Ritsu and I just look at each other with estranged expressions as we join the crowd. Might as well, since there is no way we'll be getting back to sleep tonight with all these chatty voices just down the hall from our room. It's not long until everyone in both Beck and the Flux are standing around wondering when the authorities will get here so we can go and forget this even happened.

One woman standing there asks me, "Whose vehicle?" I reply that I have no idea and she says, "Maybe someone left something expensive on the dash, like a GPS or something. I heard that attracts car break-ins."

"Why doesn't someone check whose car it was?" Ritsu asks the same young woman, who is in a rather revealing pink nightgown. I wonder if Taira's looking at her barely covered chest. He's kept away from the Flux with his band mates, probably to try to avoid an early morning brawl. Ritsu hasn't stopped complaining about the boys since we got in last night and separated. Somehow I think Taira knows how unhappy some of my friends are. Then again, it's not hard to figure it out.

A very annoyed man tells us why, "They don't want to be in court for crap happening to any of their customers. They're not letting us out of the hotel until the police get here. They're afraid we'll get shot at or something by the thieves." He rolls his eyes at the end of his little speech. I suppress a chuckle of amusement. Somebody hasn't had their 2:00 AM morning coffee.

Sure enough vehicles donning sporadic lights appear outside the hotel windows. From what we can see from the hotel windows someone is being attended to by paramedics. He's standing and walking around so the damage couldn't have been too serious. Still, why anyone would whack someone with a metal pole is beyond me. It's almost as barbaric as the time Ritsu...never mind, I'm not even going to finish that.

Those in attendance quickly gather around the police officers when they finally show their faces. Then we're herded backwards to give the people some breathing space. I'm caught between a busty lady and a house plant, in essence a hard place. Ritsu, however, has managed to elbow her way to the front of the crowd. She's waving me forward. "I can't move, dammit!" I mouth to her. She shrugs and turns around to address someone in front of her. Looks like an officer.

The police are trying to speak over the volume of chitter-chatter that has broken out amongst us hotel folk. All I hear is blah blah blah, hospital, blah blah, license plates, owners, blah, ransacked, bladdah blah. Did I mention I didn't hear that much?

"Rylie!" Ritsu is franticly waving me forward but I'm still stuck between double D boobs and a fake bush. "Excuse me, Excuse me," Ritsu tries her best to be heard over the crowd, "EXCUSE ME! MOVE IT PEOPLE! MOVE NOW! OR ELSE-"

I can't hear the rest of her little speech as Chi grabs me to combine our might and force our way through the crowd. When we get to Ritsu she spills over.

"It was our van that was broken into! Come on, we have to check to see what the bastards took!" Ritsu grabs my hand and accelerates like a cheetah.

"Hey, you kids come back here!" one of the policemen shouts as we make a beeline for the door. "You're not authorized to-" Ritsu is about to flip the middle finger but I grab her other hand and whisper to her that yeah, we could get in trouble for that.

I look over my shoulder and past my cascading hair to see Beck in their entirety leaping and bounding after us. Kim is farther back, her arm being held by a man. She is not happy. So much so that there is a chance that she could hyperventilate. Anyone could guess what Chi did; turn tail, march right up to that man laying a hand on our guitarist, and smack him around a bit. Just enough to grab our friend, I swear. Chi isn't Ritsu after all.

Oh God, oh Buddha, oh no, no, no! Our van has this huge crater in the side of it and all the doors are open revealing a mess bigger than what was left there yesterday. I slide into the driver's side and shriek when I find what's in the ignition; a fucking screwdriver! It had been jammed in and no matter how much I try to wiggle it and disengage the damn thing it won't budge.

"Let me see if I can get it out. I've had experience with…these kinds of things," Ryusuke replies shortly, getting to work on the ignition. Yeah, just the way he went about assessing that damage made him look like he'd enjoyed a few joyriding sessions himself. But, now was not the time to be thinking about Ryusuke, Ritsu was calling my name in a gut-wrenching voice.

When I rounded the back of the van I nearly put my foot through one of Ritsu's tom toms. The entire back of the trailer was on the pavement in disarray. Somehow the thieves had broken into the trailer too. Among boxes of merch was Kim's guitar case busted up and stacked on top of what could have easily been either Taira or Koyuki or Chi's instrument cases. My heart plummeted; where was my bass?

"Shit, shit, shit!" Ritsu mutters with tears in her eyes. "My snare's skin is busted, and I can't find your bass anywhere!"

I hit the ground and looked under the van. Nothing. Under the trailer? Nothing. 500 meters around the van in every direction? Again, NOTHING.

"…" I couldn't express myself in words. It felt as if I had been beaten and kicked repeatedly while I was already on the ground. Like my liver had been torn out of me. Like a herd of angry rhinos ran me over and a tiger came along and stuffed its face with my bloody corpse. Painful.

So painful.

* * *

**A.N.:** Yes, in the manga Ryusuke used to go joyriding with Eddie. I don't remember what volume that was in but it's there somewhere.

Once again I'm sorry for the EXTREME lateness of this chapter. Real life my friends. Plus I've been working on another story that may or may not find its way to fictionpress. We will see.

Also, FanFiction's new formatting is really annoying me. Ugh.

Thanks again for the reviews guys. They inspire me to write. If you want an update then review. It only takes a heartfelt review to get me to sit down and type. Even criticism is better than nothing.

~-ReikiConvulsion


	11. Back In Black

**Author's Note**: So, this one went up a little quicker than the last one. Awesome, but after this another update will might take a while. Yeah, I'm going to throw the phrase – REAL LIFE SUCKS – out there. It's self-explanatory.

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and later scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 11 – Back In Black

* * *

With Rylie pushing up against me for hours yesterday my testosterone began peaking at world record levels. I can feel new hair sprouting on my chest, if that gives any indication.

But unfortunately, with the recent turn of events, I'm finding myself more or less depressed about Fidelity Flux's current situation. A couple hours after the incident I sought out Rylie and asked her just what she planned to do.

"I don't know. I gave the serial number to the police but there's no way they're going to be able to find it," Rylie tells me, sniffling, her eyes red and puffy. She hands me a replica of what she gave to the authorities, every bit of information about her bass that anyone would ever want to know is on it. The wood it was made out of, model, finish and serial number are all jotted down on the slip of paper torn out of her sketchbook.

"I-I'll find it for you. We'll get it back," I say to her. As soon as the words leave my mouth I cringe. It is perhaps the stupidest thing that I have said to her yet but it came out and now I can't take it back. Shit, shit, shit! As if she doesn't feel bad enough already! But, it's impossible to take words back and swallow them so I hang my head in embarrassment and inwardly groan.

She shakes her head sadly and smiles weakly at me to show she appreciates my words. But she knows as well as I do that once an instrument is stolen there is virtually no chance in hell of it being found again. There are literally dozens of Rics in the United States that look exactly like hers. Hell, Rics are played everywhere, from the punk scene to Christian churches.

When the hubbub about the van's break-in blows over to some degree I return to the hotel room I share with the rest of Beck. I sit on the rat infested couch and think about Rylie's predicament. Without a bass her band was in deep trouble. And she couldn't just ask to use someone else's. For a moment I thought about lending her my StingRay but I quickly dismissed the idea. For one thing she wouldn't take it and for another she would probably have troubles playing it since she wasn't used to playing such a wide neck. A Rickenbacker was her kind of electric bass. It was her ideal. But, they were damn expensive in the States, even more so than my MusicMan brand spanking new and the chances of getting the money for another one soon were slim to none. It would take months to get that kind of money. Maybe even a year. And that was assuming you had a job...not touring on your life savings in a beaten up van with eight other people.

I sigh and tell the boys I'm going back outside. Once I breathe the fresh air I walk to the back side of the hotel and sit on a slab of concrete, pull out a cigarette, and light up. Five long drags later I'm wondering if Rylie would be mad at me for smoking, even though I'm pretty sure I haven't had a cigarette in at least a week. Usually I only smoked when I was stressed out or needed to calm myself down before and after a gig. Being on a touring budget cigarettes weren't a necessity and were looked over.

Wait, this is Rylie's problem, not mine. I didn't need to be worrying about a damn thing. Hell, I didn't even need to give it any thought. But, her band has been kind to us by actually allowing us to van-pool with them. Okay, so the majority of the band had been nice to us. Rylie's drummer was eying Chiba with the intent of ripping his ball sacks off and throwing them onto the highway. Indeed if she had acted upon that intent it would be very bad for Chiba.

"But, why am I freaking out about this?" I ask myself. I kept wracking my brain for a compromise. If I lent her money would she be able to do a lease to own deal? Yeah, right, that would definitely work well. Maybe I could steal a bass for her like Ryusuke stole guitars, would she be mad? Probably. Would I regret it? Hell yeah. "I should be worrying about other things…um…" Shit. Like what? I took another long drag and ran my hand through my bleached hair. The roots were showing again. A small problem next to Rylie's.

"Oh, hey Taira, smoking up a storm I see," Saku jokes as he comes down the steps behind me. Here I thought I had found a secluded area where nobody would find me. Then again it's Saku. He just shows up when you need him.

I stand up to face him and his face seems to fall when he sees mine. "Dude, you look really stressed out."

Just by looking at his perplexed face I know he wants to ask what's wrong with me. Thankfully, he holds his tongue knowing that if he asked outright he wouldn't get an answer. Or I would deny that something was wrong. Of course, knowing Saku he's already figured it out by now and is, like me, trying to come up with a solution. I give my head a shake to try and clear the headache that has started up then drop the cigarette into an ashtray that the hotel staff had placed by the building.

"Chiba's running around like a mad man trying to find you. Apparently you disappeared off the face of the Earth."

I shrug, "Oh, why's that?" Didn't he know my cellphone number?

"He wanted to know if you were willing to go down to some bar he found while walking around earlier. I'm a minor so…" he trailed off with a goofy smile. He had the easy way out.

"When's he going? And why couldn't he just call my cellphone? Didn't he get one _just_ to keep in touch with us?" I ask Saku who's in a daze staring off into the distance, doubtlessly thinking about his girlfriend back in Japan.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Remember, he also said that this way he could give girls his number," Saku laughed. "Anyway, he actually did try phoning you. Were you talking on your cellphone all day or something? Well, Chiba said he wanted to go later tonight and preferably with Ryusuke."

"With Ryusuke?"

"Don't ask. Something about sucker punching him while drunk."

"Eh, never mind then."

It isn't long before Sakurai leaves to seek out better (less depressing) company. I pull out my cellphone and flip it open in one swift motion. Instead of lighting up like a Christmas tree and showing its usual background it is black and very much dead.

Stupid piece of shit was turned off.

Quickly I turn it on and wonder if Rylie had been trying to reach me. Then I mentally smack myself for doting on her too much. It isn't healthy. It couldn't be healthy. I need to find Chiba and ask him politely to smack some sense back into me. So I go find him.

Later on I find myself walking to some bar a few blocks from the hotel with Chiba and Ryusuke. By the time we arrive at this bar I realize that we left minors unattended back at the hotel. Oh well, as long as Saku and Koyuki stay well enough away from Ritsu we should be okay. Hopefully.

Ryusuke has already set his sights on some girl's ass and has moved away from Chiba and I in order to pursue. So really it's only me and Chiba sitting at the bar drinking, waiting for some band neither of us have ever heard of to come on stage and rock. Or not rock if that might be the case. Some of these American bands belong in their garage and not even in the dingiest of venues.

"Yo, Taira, ya gonna mosh with me tonight?" Chiba asks with a huge grin. I turn to him at a snail's pace and raise an eyebrow at his proposition. No, I am not going to get elbowed in the face and kicked in the groin tonight, thank you very much Chiba.

He shrugs nonchalantly, "Well, whatever." Then he throws his head back and takes a huge swig of beer, practically drowning himself in the murky substance.

I stare at my own beer, thinking about just what stuff the bartender could've thrown in there. For all I know there could be laxatives mixed in and I wouldn't know until later. Since Ryusuke is going to get hammered and Chiba will probably be a little tipsy himself I designate myself as the guy who has to show some restraint. When am I not that person?

Chiba whistles at a few girls that walk past us, earning glares from their boyfriends and repulsive faces from the girls. This was usually how he got a fight going outside of the mosh pit. He hit on chicks so far out of his league that they were pretty much on another planet altogether. But, you never say that to your best friend. Besides, that would ruin the fun of watching Chiba kick some poor sap's ass and then pile drive him into the concrete. Being in this band has given me a sick sense of humour.

Soon enough Ryusuke returns to us with a girl hanging off his arm giggling and whispering slurred English into his ear, both looking rather smashed. Chiba makes a face at the nauseating sight of them just as Ryusuke announces that we can leave without him. Then without any additional choice words to us he turns around and leaves with the girl altogether. He's probably going to end up screwing her in her car. Not that I really cared. For me it's just one less person to drag back to the hotel by their hair. Chiba on the other hand is pissed off, the usual when Ryusuke scores.

"Ugh, wanna go backstage and see if the band has any blonde American groupies around?" Chiba asks me. I shrug; I'm not interested in chicks that fling themselves on several different guys all at once. But nonetheless I follow Chiba and find myself backstage where the only guy in the room is one big fat guy who's passed out in what looks to be his own vomit. Well, that's a nice surprise.

Chiba's got this wolfish gleam in his eyes and I figure he's either going to break out a Sharpie marker and draw on the bloke or turn around and smash something just for the sake of amusing himself. He walks around the small room with his beer swinging back and forth, just slightly amused by his findings. He motions to me to come over with an impatient wave of his hand. I'm hovering in the doorway wondering where the band is. Looking over my shoulder shows me nothing but an empty corridor.

"Seriously come here Taira and check out this guitar! It looks just like Koyuki's."

I walk over to where he has crouched near the guitar and I stop him just before he goes to pick it up. "Dude, don't touch that, it's not yours." I feel like I'm scolding a little pre-school kid.

"But the owner's not here right now. Can't I just-"

"No," I say firmly. He pouts. I should mention his pout has about as much effect on me as a bunch of kids with a plate full of spinach in front of them. Very unappetizing. Unless, of course you like spinach in which case I have nothing against you or your spinach.

"Come on Taira, live a little ya dead sack of beans!"

I'm a what now? I glare at him and can't suppress an indignant snort. My mind races for a comeback but what he said struck me as so bizarre that I really have nothing to say to him. He must have reached that amount of alcohol that loosens up his thoughts, blurring them together in a mass of confusion. Next he'll be leaning on me and complaining about how Ryusuke always sleeps around in a slurred and disoriented way. Thing is, he actually cares about Ryusuke deep, DEEP down inside; he doesn't want him to contract STDs. Or whatever he told me last time he was drunk off his rockers.

"Don't tell me you don't want to touch that electric guitar over there," he points behind me and I turn my head to look in the direction he's pointing his middle finger. That's his favourite finger after all.

"Idiot that's not a guitar that's a…" I trail off and stare.

He prances over to it and picks it up before I can protest. Then he flings the strap over his shoulder and proceeds to do the strangest little butt wiggle motion ever done by a rapper. "Oh, I'm sorry it's a _bass_ guitar. Dude, you get so offended."

"Chiba let me see that-"

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MOTHERFUCKERING PUNKS THINK YOU'RE DOING WITH THAT!"

Seems like the guy who was passed out is now teetering back and forth on his feet. His face is still caked with a pinkish-green tinged funky smelling substance. I don't want to know what he ate before he upchucked. Then I realize that he must be part of the band. Because one of the two other guys that walk through the doorway and join us backstage is holding drumsticks. I notice queasily that all three look fucking pissed out of their minds. This is most certainly a death metal band.

The tension in the air is suffocating me. They're blocking the doorway, our only escape route.

"Chill out. We were just looking at your guitars man," Chiba starts unperturbedly, taking the bass off and holding it in his hand like a weapon. He has sobered up a little upon being threatened. I, however, can not stop staring at what he's holding, not because I am oblivious to the danger in front of us but…

Because he's holding a Rickenbacker. And not just any Ric either. It's a right-handed 4001 in the ever popular Fireglo finish and my mind instantly wonders how much he would be willing to sell it for. In the stalemate I had run the question through my head a few times to iron out the kinks in my English. For Rylie I pop the question that could have us decimated on the spot.

"Hey, how much do you want for this bass?" I ask, trying to keep my voice neutral when I feel like screaming. Chiba fixes a shocked face on me and I feel his confused stare boring into my skull as he wonders if I've had too much to drink. Out of the corner of my eye I see his jaw go slack and his eyes widen. His eyebrows are so far up on his head that if he raised them any higher they'd go skyrocketing off into outer space.

One of the three of them steps forward. He's the skinniest but the tallest with a red Mohawk and a huge nose piercing. Everything about him is menacing, even the glint his nose ring is giving off has an ominous shine. He would look like a bull but he lacks the muscle.

"My guitar isn't for sale to a Japanese kid like you," he sneers, spitting out his words in distain. I struggle to keep my face poker straight. It's hard because now I want to punch his lights out. Chiba twitches but somehow he holds himself together. Thank you Chiba, thank you.

My voice comes out tighter than before, "Look man just name a price."

He's silent and his friends are bristling beside him waiting for him to command them to beat us up. But, my serious voice must be reaching him because he seems to be considering my offer to buy his bass. His face has gone blank and I speculate what he could be thinking about. Two guys just messing around with a band's equipment was not something just anyone took without due consideration.

"You can have it after the gig for $4000."

I wince; that's more expensive than buying it brand freaking new and he knows it. I'm about to tell him as much when Chiba sidles up beside me and asks me very, very simply in Japanese:

"What the fuck Taira?"

One of the cronies steps forward and sticks up his middle finger at us, pointing menacingly with the sickest smile I have seen since the time Chiba beat up the bully that had been harassing Koyuki at school. Speaking of Chiba he lets out a snarling sound like Beck when Koyuki tries to pet him and pushes the bass into my chest, probably so I could use it as a weapon. At least that's probably what he wants me to use it for. As he moves forward and rolls up his sleeves so as not to soil his sweater I wonder just what the hell I should do. Take the bass and run, stash it and then come back for Chiba or throw it down and fight alongside Chiba right now and hope for the best? I decide to try and salvage the situation, because that is what I am good at doing.

I hold the bass out in front of me, gripping it on the body, offering it, "Here take it and we'll leave quietly, okay?"

They aren't satisfied with that. We've ruffled their fur too much and now they want some retribution. But, before they advance on us, the guitar slips a little in my sweaty hands and instinctively I look down to get a better hold to avoid dropping it on my toes.

Then I see the serial number on the back of the bass. It's the same as the one on the piece of paper Rylie showed me this morning.

…

Shit.

It is Rylie's.

"FUCK!"

My sudden venomous shout captures the attention of everyone in the room and they all stare at me, the skids in shock and Chiba in… well, _extreme_ shock since I _never_ swear out of the blue like this. Poor guy almost certainly thinks I've hit the loony bin now. But that is not the case.

No, I haven't snapped. I have _fucking_ snapped.

I hastily lean the bass against a wall and I go, go, go. Right past Chiba and right up to Mohawk and glare him down. I can smell the stench of alcohol on his breath I'm standing so close to him. Or maybe that's my breath? We would be eye to eye if he weren't taller than me. He bares his teeth but I sense much fear in him. His eyes say he is petrified by my bi-polar antics.

"Chiba, these are the guys that broke into the van!" Chiba gives me a perplexed frown and I turn back to Mohawk, "You fucking stole my girl's bass," I explain plainly. He drops his stance in surprise. His eyes widen and that's all it takes for me to know that I'm right. It's more than a gut feeling.

I punch him square in the jaw and clip his nose before turning my fist sideways. A nauseating crunch like eating stale cereal resounds around the small room. I know I've successfully used a nose-breaking trick, one that I regretfully learned from Chiba. He tumbles backwards and into the besotted guy and they fall in a heap on the cement floor, with the snap of a skull hitting ground. The drunken guy is down for the count. His drummer though is on me, landing a punch to my stomach that takes my breath momentarily. I stagger backwards in a hunch but before I can recover he jumps on me and tackles me to the ground, me under him. I'm pinned and breathless, grunting like a morbid animal and struggling to punch him off of me or grab his arms and roll him over.

He manages to land one more punch, this time to the right side of my forehead and I struggle just to keep from plain out attacking him with my teeth. Which would not be cool. But then, lo and behold Chiba, in all his pent-up-energy glory, kicks him off me and I breathe in air again tasting its sweet non-taste.

If I say Chiba isn't an amazing fighter I'd be lying. He has that drummer on the ground in two seconds after slamming him into a wall and then proceeding to give him a sideways punch to the head. As I lay on the floor I realize I'm kind of jealous of his moves.

But, I couldn't watch him in awe now. Not with the Mohawk bassist – no, just _ass_ist, he doesn't deserve to be called a bassist – advancing on me, blood spurting out of both his nose and mouth. I decide on a whim that now is definitely the time to try out one of my best friend's Karate kicks. It works, for the moment, as I knock him down and Chiba violently repeats my kick (his is _so_ much better) to his stomach while he lies crumpled on the floor. He doesn't move any more.

We have lucratively kicked their asses. I grin like a crazed hooligan and Chiba gives out an enthusiastic whoop. We exchange a double high-five. Life is good. For a couple seconds.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!" The drummer screams at us as he stands, albeit shakily and snatches the Telecaster from the guitar stand, intending to play whack-a-mole with us. Chiba's at my side and we wait for the guy brandishing the guitar to make the first move.

I can hardly believe our luck when he takes a step forward and trips on a cable that must have been running from the light above us to the wall outlet on the other side of the room. In the few fleeting moments that he is airborne and falling fast I envision Koyuki in his place and let loose a snort of laughter just before he hits the ground. Oh Koyuki, if only you knew how much you have imprinted on me.

While I stand there like a child watching a circus act Chiba sprints forward, picks the guitar up, and holds it over his head, hesitating to bring it down. He was just daring that guy to move. But, like the loser that he was the drummer squeaks pathetically and curls into a spastic ball on the ground.

Then he vomits and passes out. I feel like retching as well after being a witnessing to that. Here I was expecting some kind of dramatic last testament. But, this is pathetic.

We stand unmoving for a second and I stare at the mess we made. The room is a little scuffed up, there's a hole in the wall where Chiba slammed the drummer and drool from the drunken band member is starting to make a puddle on the floor mixing with the dark bloodstains on the floor and the disturbing green tinged brown stuff seeping from the drummer's mouth. Then Chiba turns to me.

"Your girl's guitar?" he questions me with a smirk now that the immediate danger is over. He does a very suggestive eyebrow-waggle at my expression of innocence.

"Bass," I correct him hastily, moving to pick up said instrument. I find relief when I don't spot any huge new blemishes but the bottom is slightly dinged. I frown but look around the room packed with random supplies and empty beer boxes and locate a case. I open it and place the bass inside it. It fits perfectly and I figure it too must be Rylie's so I close it and pick it up, intending to leave with it.

Chiba stares, "So wait, you're just going to take that?"

"Yes, it belongs to someone else," I tell him with a roll of the eyes. Why does he think I made such a scene? Honestly, I don't generally do things without a reason.

He stares down at the Tele in his hand, "Then can I take this too?"

I glare at him, "No, that would be stealing!"

He fixes me with a pointed look, "But isn't that what you're doing now?"

I sigh heavily. "I'm returning. That's different."

He grunts but walks over and finds a case for the guitar, placing it in, and closes it up. But just as he starts walking away I acknowledge the plain truth. The guitar is more than likely stolen as well. Once a guitar thief, always a guitar thief.

"Actually Chiba lets turn in that guitar to the police or something," I tell him. I don't care at this point whether or not the guitar actually belongs to the band. I'm just craving some retribution. If we turn the Tele in it could very well end up in some aspiring young musician's hands. Who knows? On the other hand it could also end up rotting in someone's closet.

He freezes, "You serious?" I nod. "Whatever. You're damn crazy. I say we sell it and make a profit!"

"Just grab it," I mumble turning around. He obliges without another word out of our bond as best friends. He can tell by my tone of voice that I'm deep in thought about other matters.

I step over the unconscious drunk, the third band member, clutching my prize close to my chest and exit the backstage area trying to remain inconspicuous while searching for the back door to this place. Chiba however steps on and over the guy producing a revolting squelch sound from his stomach that also serves to break my adrenaline-filled concentration and cause me to realize something.

"Oh my God, what have we done to them?"

Chiba turns to me and gives me his best 'you're an idiot' face, "We kicked ass!"

* * *

After twenty or so minutes of debating what to do with the Telecaster Chiba finally caves in and we decide to leave it outside nearest the police station with a note that said quite simply that it should be donated to somewhere in broken English. Why did we do that again? I don't even know. Revenge I guess. But, I think this one good deed left me feeling better about knocking some strangers senseless. Now I walked with renewed purpose. To reunite my baby with her baby.

When we at last arrived back at the hotel I told Chiba to go back to the room and sleep while I dropped off the bass. He shrugged and told me not to have sex because he wanted me to be able to drive to our next destination on the tour tomorrow. Typical Chiba, worrying about me and my lack of sleep.

I scale the stairs of the hotel with Chiba until we part ways at the fourth floor. Then, it's up to the fifth floor and down to the door of Rylie's band mates. They have two rooms booked and I'm fairly certain Kim is sharing with Chi. Hopefully I can guess the right door on the first try.

Suddenly I realize how foolish I am for coming up here so late at night. In fact it's so late its morning already. Tentatively I turn back the way I've come, swinging the bass case around in an arc, checking to see if anyone is wandering the halls. Instead of trudging down the stairs and admitting to Chiba that I'm a bit of an idiot I weight the odds that maybe she'd be awake at this hour… whatever hour this is. So, with that ridiculous notion firmly seeded in my head I knock softly on what I hope is her door.

No answer.

She's asleep no doubt.

I knock a little louder. And a little louder. And a quite a bit louder still since I am desperate to go back to Chiba empty handed, the sign that I did the deed right after all that. So I continue to knock, my eyes straying down the hallway as I keep watch for nosy neighbours and the like.

Suddenly I'm knocking on thin air and I snap my head back to see that Ritsu is in the doorway, her face twisted into an ugly mix of sneer and glower. I step backwards. She is braless in PJs with bunnies on them which really contradicted her and her hair is only slightly less icky than Ryusuke's in the morning. I open my mouth wide and then close it when I realize I have no words to say at the moment. Like a fish out of water I stutter and gasp for air.

"What the fucking hell do you fucking want?" she snaps. Her scraggily body contorts with fury. She is seething.

"Uh, Rylie," I say.

She looks me up and down with piercing yet blurry eyes. I don't think she recognizes me. "Everyone wants Rylie you pervert! Get the fuck out of here before I kick your balls in!"

I shudder, "N-No! No, no! I mean I need to s-speak to her!"

"Fuck you! It's two in the morning! Leave! Or do you need me to show you where the fucking stairs are and push you down them?" She advances and for one horrific moment I'm positive that she plans to go through with everything she's promised me. She really doesn't recognize me at all…is she even awake?

"Okay! Okay, fine. I'm leaving."

No sooner do the words leave my mouth that she slams the door in my face. I stand very, very still and stare straight ahead at the place where that scary woman stood seconds ago. I could have lost my manhood. Just like Rylie's cat Ralph.

I sigh dismally and pace a few feet from the door, bass case in hand. I wonder if Ritsu even noticed I had it. I should have said something about it…how stupid could I get! I walk back over to the door, weigh the pros and cons of knocking and finally decide that the pros far outweighed the cons. But when I raise my fist to knock the door slowly and creakily opens.

I won't fabricate the truth for the sake of saving my pride since it's already wounded. I thought I was going to fucking die by a percussionist's hands.

But, instead of Ritsu it's Rylie clad in similar pyjamas. Except hers are a lot more sexy and the neckline is a lot lower I notice with manly-excitement. She's bleary eyed and obviously only half awake.

I grin, "Rylie!" Let me stand next to your fire, thank Hendrix!

"Taira, what are you doing here! It's the middle of the night for God's sake! Ritsu told me you were out here and needed to talk. Couldn't it have waited until morning?" Oh, so she knew it was me? This whole time? Shit, I really underestimated Ritsu's extreme dislike for my band.

I felt my smile recede a little at her words and my face heat up to match what I was feeling below the waist. But, it was to be expected since I just woke her and her crazed lunatic harum-scarum drummer up. I could see a digital clock in the depths of her cavern and it read 2:09am. Ritsu was right; I came at the worst possible time.

I skip right to the point of my late night visit, "I found it."

"Found it?" she repeats. Then she acknowledges the object I hold at my side and her hand shoots to cover her gaping mouth. She blinks several times and I gulp nervously because from the looks of things she is going to cry an ocean in front of me any second now.

"You, Taira, you, what?" She says, trying in vain to form a coherent sentence. I just place the case at our feet and open it up to show her. She gasps at the sight and I suppose I'll never ever earn the same kind of affection she has for her instrument.

"This is your bass right?" I ask softly, afraid she might tell me that I screwed up the serial number and this indeed was not her bass but a replica. I hand it to her and she reads the etched code by the output jack.

Based on how she hugs the instrument close to her gleefully I'm guessing I got extremely lucky. Thankfully I am not both a thief and an assaulter, just a provoked aggressor. Yes, that sounds better to me. Less like I belong in jail and more like the knight in shining armour rescuing my princess. Wow. That was incredibly corny even for me. I blame it on the beer and whatever the bartender put in the beer.

She puts her Ric back in its home and comes back to the doorway. "Taira, thank you so much. How did you find it?"

"Eh? Long story short some punks stole it and were going to gig with it. Probably sell it too."

"I'd like to hear the long story some time," she says, her eyes still glistening. Then, without warning, she reaches up and cups my face in her tiny hands and gives me a timid peck on the lips. From my brief taste of her I make the decision that she's got perfectly soft, warm and supple lips.

So I go in for a second round and to my delight she's more than eager. From the intensity of her kisses I wonder if she's just really overjoyed to have her bass back or if she had been secretly lusting after me like I was for her. Of course being in the throws of passion I was all for the latter.

Rylie scoots closer to me and I ignite with the feeling which leads me to manoeuvre her up against the wall and press my body into hers. Her hands are roaming around my back and settle on tugging at the waistband on my pants. All the while our lips are sealed together.

"Hey, what's on your hand?" I ask when we break apart.

"You have blood all over your face," she states anxiously. Her eyes are swimming with worry.

I touch the right side of my face and feel the crusty mess of dried blood just above my eye. I did get punched violently there. Ouch. It actually hurts now that I've gone and prodded it.

"Battle scars," I tell her with what I hope is a seductive smile. She's reassured and cautiously kisses me again, taking care now to not aggravate my injury. I feel one of her hands snake down my back slowly and lift the hem of my shirt while the other takes root in my hair. My own hands have started a little journey of their own in similar locations.

"Woah, can't you two at least get a room?"

Rylie breaks away from me abruptly and it takes all of my self-restraint to not neuter Chiba on the spot. Of all the times he could have shown up he chooses now? I fume silently but back away from the wall to let Rylie breathe. The moment is lost and the three of us stand in the otherwise empty hallway exchanging awkward glances. Rylie has moved her gaze to the floor and it looks like she's blushing up a storm.

"Sooo," Chiba tries to break the silence, "Are you two secretly dating?"

We glance at each other out of the corners of our eyes and I choose not to answer that. Instead I try to break the awkward by saying, "Umm, Rylie, my best friend Chiba helped me get your bass back."

As far as Chiba's concerned the tension has lifted, "Hell ya! Man, you should've seen Taira, he was so fucking _pissed off _when he figured it out!"

I grimace at his word choice even though I touched all those bases a few hours ago. Beside me Rylie says politely, still red in the face, "Thank you Chiba for helping Taira save my bass."

"Does this mean I get a kiss too?"

"No." We both say in unison. Then we exchange a sort of faint smile and I think that maybe, just maybe she and I would work out. But I think I'm still going to neuter my best friend.

"He played the hero! How_ charming!_ Now go away so I can sleep!" A voice from inside Rylie's room shouts that could only belong to Ritsu. From the sound of things she isn't aware it happens to be more than just me outside.

"Was that who I thought that was?" Chiba asks darkly. Oh yes Chiba, it's your worst nightmare.

_Or his wet dream._

What. The. Hell. What are you doing here?

_I'm Back In Black – I've been too long I'm glad to be back -_

Okay, seriously, don't use AC/DC lyrics against me!

_So sorry, I was just kind of…pumped up for a bit there. Haha, sorry, bad joke. Seriously, we could have continued that with Rylie in the van if we'd hurried up and –_

"Okay, well, I guess Chiba and I will be going now!" I hastily say in order to stop the flow of hormonal thoughts. Any more and I think I might get a horrible headache.

"Right, we'll see you in the morning…" Chiba trails off, following my lead.

_Hey, remember the last time I bugged you? It was about the little window of opportunity? Yeah, you're __**still**__ fucking that up!_

Shut up, go die in a hole. There's a little _somethin'-somethin' _going on down in my pants right now buddy, I kind of need to escape!

_Fine, go masturbate and we'll resume this conversation in the morning._

You just can't leave me alone at all, can you?

"Bye Taira," Rylie says with a wave of her hand. "Thanks again Chiba!"

_Nope, that wouldn't be any fun at all!

* * *

_

**A.N.:** Remember how I put 'violence' in the disclaimer? Yeah, there was a bit of mindless violence in this chapter, so sorry to those who really dislike the action.

Finally, Taira and Rylie have connected. Man, that took _forever_. Sorry for the wait, not just for the goodies but for the chapter itself!

~ReikiConvulsion


	12. Ice Impalements

**Author's Note**: I know, I know. I haven't updated in forever. Obviously this fic was the last thing on my mind, but I do apologize for the wait. **It's because of my reviewers that this chapter is here today so I thank you!** Every time you guys review it reminds me that I have a story up here on FanFiction. You guys encourage me to write more!

On another note I'm sure most of you noticed that the title of the story has changed. When I first thought up this story…well, it was nothing like this. Originally they were never even going to leave Japan! Originally Rylie's cat was actually going to play a much larger role…and the title would become clear from that…

But alas, my characters insisted on making it to America, getting drunk and smashing things. None of that was planned. Thus the obscenely stupid title was not going to work anymore. Haha. This new title was inspired by a book of the same name. I figured it fit the theme of my story well enough.

I also have it in my head to re-write the first few chapters, since they inevitably suck. Don't worry, this story won't be taken down and nothing in the latter chapters will change.

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 12 – Ice Impalements

* * *

"Don't think I don't know," Ritsu growls in my ear. My eyes flutter open. Ugh.

I smack her face away from the side of the bed, "Don't wake people up like that!"

She snickers then her face turns serious, "Rylie…"

"Rylie what?" I mumble, throwing the covers up over my head. The hotel sheets are disgusting; they smell like old people and I could peel enough lint off of them to make a sweater. Not that I would want too, mind you. That would be terribly disgusting.

I feel a weight on the bed as Ritsu unceremoniously flops over. "Don't play innocent Ry, I thought we agreed that we wouldn't do the whole relationships thing until the band took off-"

I shoot out of bed, my hair whipping around my face in strings of morning funkiness. "What, that was years ago-"

"It still counts!"

"Does not!"

"Does so."

"Does n-wait a second, is that Chi on the floor?"

Ritsu lightly kicks Chi's comatose body, "Yeah. She was so excited last night that you finally hooked up with Taira that she couldn't sleep." I stare at Ritsu incredulously. Judging by the tone of her voice she is not impressed with me at all. "Hence why she's here sleeping on the floor. Though I guess that does not explain why she is in nothing but her underwear. Anyway, I let her in here after I found her outside in the hallway wandering around…"

"What? What was she doing out there?" Wow, I didn't think Chi was such a creep.

Ritsu shrugs, "Hey, I'm not the blonde one here, am I? I just brought her in here because there are weird old men down the hall from us."

I pick up clothes that are strewn all over the hotel room, trying to piece together a decent outfit. Hmm, we have a black sweater with no particular owner, my Sex Pistols shirt and jeans that belong to Kim. Not bad. The jeans are a little too form-fitting for my liking but it shall tide me over for the day.

"So did Chi end up banging on the door until you let her in or what?"

"She told me she wanted to know all of the raunchy details first."

"What? There was no raunchiness between me and Taira!"

Ritsu rolls her eyes, "Yeah, whatever." She stalks away and I think I catch her muttering something along the lines of "'cause if there were I would rip him apart, one appendage at a time, starting with the most sensitive one..."

It takes the Flux about an hour to orient ourselves for the day (food, clothes, a touch of make-up at Chi's request) and before I know it we're standing outside of the van waiting for the boys. They don't appear after ten minutes so we begin loading up by ourselves. I take care to put my bass snugly in between some amps, feeling more paranoid than usual thanks to the recent theft. Hey, anybody would be.

"If they don't get out here soon we won't be able to leave in time. I'd hate to be late getting to Tulsa." Chi just wants to shop, typical. She knows Oklahoma has a bunch of cool malls. Me, I just figure that all malls are more or less the same. They stock clothes, food and random shit. I'd rather go through musky vinyl in a record store than jean sizes in Abercrombie and Fitch.

Thinking about all of this I don't immediately notice the blur that is Ritsu streaking past me. That is until she bellows, "I'm going to kick their doors in!"

Kim shrugs and Chi yawns, not fully grasping the situation at hand here. A lot of help they are.

I take off after Ritsu and miss the elevator by a fraction of a second. Dammit, where's the stairs? Where are they, where are they, where are they…THERE!

By the time I catapult myself up a few flights of stairs Ritsu's in front of one of Beck's doors. Watch it be Taira's, just watch.

"Don't kick down the door; I'm not paying hotel damages! We can't afford it! We're not Led Zeppelin!" That and I don't want to do something so rude to Chiba and Taira after what they did for me last night. I'm seriously grateful to the point where I could strangle Ritsu right now. Besides, I don't want today to get off to a bad start, since we're going to be driving for more than 4 hours in one shot, minus the bathroom breaks. We have a show to play tonight after all. Then tomorrow we're driving again, which means if we start something that carries on through the next 24 hours then chances are there will be some very pissed off people.

Anyway, back to the present.

She karate kicks the door. Of course she does; I would be surprised if she listened to me for once. Then she kicks it again, the loud resounding sound echoing in the cavernous hallway. But, before she could kick it a third time I launched like a V-2 rocket at her, knocking her to the ground. Koyuki finally answers the door, seeing us on the floor walloping each other and yelling profanities. Not the best way to greet the boy, I'll admit. Eh, it could have been worse.

I get off the floor and explain our dilemma in a rush of stuttered words, since Beck obviously hasn't set an alarm clock. At least they aren't in their pyjamas. Right?

"We're dressed but, uh, Taira and Chiba won't wake up," Saku emerges a couple seconds succeeding Koyuki.

"What do you mean they won't wake up? They aren't dead yet, right? Surely they can wake up!" Ritsu growls out before taking a menacing step towards the boys. They both flinch and I can sense much fear coming off of them like pulsing waves.

Koyuki snatches a room key off of the table adjacent to the door, "H-here, you can get them up if you want!"

Ritsu seizes the key and slams it into the mechanism on the older boys' door, producing a glowing emerald illumination. Well, green means go. And Ritsu certainly went.

Once inside the room I watch like the bystander I really am as she grabs the first thing she can get her hands on. Luckily it isn't a guitar case or something equally hard and apt to bruise but just a pillow. Then she begins to savagely beat the first large lump under the covers that she spots in the dimly lit cave.

I ignore her strangled banshee cries and instead locate the other lifeless lump. Then I pull the covers back and reveal Taira, who stares bleary-eyed up at me, with a hapless frown on his face. One eyebrow goes up and I mirror his movements before turning my attention from his adorable mussed blonde hair to my shrieking drummer.

Okay, if Taira's here, then who is Ritsu abusing? Hmm, there's a fifty-fifty chance it could be either Ryusuke or–

"Holy shit you crazy woman! What the hell are you doing in my room?" screeches the unknown form on the bed opposite Taira. The lump throws off the bed sheets…to reveal Chiba in all his almost naked glory. Thank goodness he's wearing boxers or else this could have been a very awkward situation indeed.

"We came in here to wake you guys up since we need to pack to get going and I just-" I start in my ramble, but pause as I realize nobody is actually listening to me. Taira's eyes are on Chiba and Ritsu as they heatedly glare each other down. It appears those two have entered the fourth dimension altogether where only they exist as two separate deities, each vying for power over the other. I could heave a brick at both of them and they wouldn't notice squat.

"Did you come in here just to see my sexy washboard abs or something?"

"Ya, the non-existent ones are on display again? All I see is floppy flub!"

"What! You're blind woman! There's a damn generous portion of muscle on me, I –"

"Your ego is as pathetically large as that bush on the top of your head!" Ritsu spat vehemently, effectively interrupting Chiba's speech on his chest. I bite my lip to stifle a snicker. His afro has been getting out of hand lately, what with the tour taking its toll and the fact that it's morning it actually did look a bit like a lop-sided leafy bush.

"At least I don't have to buy drums to compensate for my lack of cleavage!"

After that snide comment Ritsu forcefully tackles him to the ground with a fierce headbutt to the gut and everything went apeshit from there. Ritsu snarls like a rabid dog as she punches Chiba who's rather defenceless under her. His arms flail around, attempting to catch hers and when at last he has both of her wrists he's rewarded with a swift and surely hard knee in that one area that I will refrain from mentioning. Needless to say Chiba _howled_. The members of the audience, which had grown from Taira and myself, to Saku and Koyuki as well as the newly arrived Kim and Chi collectively gasp, cringing for Chiba's sake. Even if his last comment made even _me_ want to pound his face in.

It's so intense that I can't even imagine myself stepping in to break them apart. A glance at Taira shows me we were thinking along the same lines.

Thankfully, we didn't have to touch them. Ritsu leapt up and left on her own, swearing under her breath. Both Koyuki and Saku, who had been staring wide-eyed from the doorway, pressed themselves against the wall to clear a modest path for the rampaging percussionist. I watched her go, figuring that it would be I who would try to make amendments.

Chiba groans and hisses in pain as he gradually makes his way wordlessly to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. The three boys left behind all turn to me expectantly, with blank expressions on their faces. I feel vaguely guilty for letting Ritsu whoop Chiba's ass. But, I was offended too that he would say such a thing to Ritsu.

"Woah, that was… intense," Saku admitted, trying his best to start up a conversation that hopefully wouldn't go down the same road as Chiba and Ritsu's exchange.

I run a tired hand through my hair, "I wish that didn't just happen. But, it happened and now we're all just going to have to try and deal with it."

Suddenly Taira starts snickering to himself as he pulls on a clean-ish shirt to gets dressed for the doubtlessly bloody day ahead. Unlike Chiba in his boxers Taira had a pair of sweatpants on already. They kind of looked like the ones from yesterday which signified to me that he'd been too exhausted last night to even bother changing out of them.

"I don't see how you're finding this funny," I tell Taira dryly.

"You're right. It's really not that funny. No, it's just I've never seen Chiba get so quickly and thoroughly ass-kicked before," Taira confessed. "I guess those guys from last night took a lot more out of him than I realized."

I looked toward the hotel room's door, suddenly ill at ease about the fact that here I was, chatting with Taira while my drummer ran unbridled God knows where. "I'm going to go find Ritsu."

Kim and Chi nodded collectively, knowing that I was the best choice to track down an out of control percussionist.

"We'll help the guys get the gear packed away in the van," Chi offers. Taira nods his consent, though his eyes watch mine curiously. I turn away with a careless wave over my shoulder and walk out the door before my blush becomes too much of a scarlet lighted beacon.

As I stroll along I realize that Ritsu wouldn't be rampaging at all. Rather she would more than likely hide herself from the world. This means that I needed to find the most secluded area in or around the hotel.

Since Ritsu doesn't strike anyone as the indoor-sy bookish type I exit the building, hanging a left as I hike the perimeter of the structure, hoping to find her leaning against a wall with a can of stolen beer or something. There's no sign of the little fawn-haired brunette, or any trace of her presence. I branch farther out, weaving in between cars in the parking lot, intending to search beyond a grassy hill on the horizon when I hear sniffling.

There she is, head in hands with her knees drawn up to her chest, wedged between a black van and someone's red Mustang car. She doesn't notice me come up beside her and I stare for a moment at her shivering form under the cloud covered sky. On the outside she could seem unapproachable, the epitome of scary and barbaric but on the inside I know she's as sensitive as a girl can be. Though she would deny it until her dying breath she's secretly a lamb who dresses as a lion, ferocious on the outside and yet when the façade comes off she's all fluffy fur. No jagged claws, dagger teeth or violent attitude.

As silently as I can I sit myself down beside her and take her tiny form into my chest. She isn't crying, at least not yet, but her eyes are watering, I just know it. She tries to rub away the impending cascading waterworks that would follow as I rub her back in what I hope is a somewhat soothing manner.

"I'm sorry Rylie, for being mad earlier…" she trails off as she holds onto my sweater gently. I wait patiently for her to continue, knowing that some things take time. Sure enough, she says with a slight tremor in her voice, "I didn't mean to get snappish when you got together with Taira, I mean. I think I was jealous. Yeah, really jealous."

Ritsu sighs heavily, "'Cause, you know, he seems like such a great guy and all. And… I just don't think I could ever score a guy like that. Not with the way I am. I'm not pretty at all and I have an unpleasant temper, even _I_ know that."

"You are pretty, what are you talking about?"

"No, I'm not. I have muscles like a guy and yet I'm still skinny as a twig. Worst of all I'm flat-chested if you haven't noticed. I have little to no curves. Not like you," she looks up at my face for the first time since I found her and smiles sadly. Her eyes are red and strained but it looks like a crisis has been adverted for the time being.

"What Chiba said was just an attack on you since you insulted his hair. What he says doesn't mean anything since everyone has a different opinion on what they think is 'pretty'. Just because you don't have a huge bust doesn't mean that you're not _pretty_!" I'm ready to pull my hair out in exasperation. "When have you cared what people say anyway? You're the invincible Ritsu! You make all the assholes cower in fear! Without you this band wouldn't be what it is today; kick-ass, we don't take shit from nobody style!"

Ritsu smirks and giggles a tiny bit, "Damn right."

I grin broadly, glad that my motivational speech is working so far. "Besides, you didn't stick around to see Chiba limping away with his tail between his legs, did you? That was pretty awesome. Well, it looked extremely painful, but he totally deserved it after what he said. Taira said that he'd never been humiliated so badly," I tell her with a laugh. _Well, he didn't exactly say _that_ but I think he implied it,_ I think as I remember the conversation earlier in the hotel room.

After I finish stroking her ego she dries her eyes and we sit in companionable silence for a moment or two. She breaks it by saying, "When we're famous I'm going to drive this car."

"What, this Mustang?"

"Yeah," she says breathlessly, stroking the metallic carmine finish. "'Cept mines gonna have a one of a kind paint job and sound system, you know?"

I snicker; that's so Ritsu.

* * *

The van is packed to the roof and it looks like everything is raring to go when I arrive with Ritsu in tow. The first thing Ritsu does upon locking eyes with Chiba is glare, then she smirks victoriously, making Chiba scowl and climb into the back of the van just to get away from her. Personally I'm just happy he didn't make a nasty comment or anything to set her off again.

"Okay, since I'm driving today I want Saku and Chi as my navigators," I proclaim. I watch Chi shrug and hug Saku, who looks away bashfully with a ting of red dusting his ears. "Kim, Ritsu and Taira can sit in the middle and Chiba, Koyuki and Ryusuke can sit in the back…" I stop my banter, eyes scanning my small crowd. "Wait, where the hell is Ryusuke?"

Just then Kim shrieks and runs to clutch Chi as a deranged black blob makes its way out from under the van. The thing raises its dirt streaked face and looks at us pitifully. I'm too in shock to offer assistance to the blob of doom. Kim, however, angrily frowns as she drops Chi's arm unceremoniously and stomps over to the form still half under the vehicle.

She yanks Ryusuke out by snatching a handful of the back of his grey – but nearly black with grime – shirt. Kim hauls him to his feet and Ryusuke stands there swaying in the light wind like a twiggy tree, eyes blinking and adjusting to the sunlight.

Eventually Ryusuke ambles over to Taira, slightly collapsing on the bassist's chest. He leans his face up and fervently whispers something in Taira's ear. Then he opens the back of the van and drags himself inside, taking a seat next to Chiba in the back. He covers his face with the palms of his hands as if trying to block out the unmerciful sun. Everyone looks to Taira, including myself, to elaborate on the guitarists behalf.

He seems to take the hint in our gazes. "Oh, um, Ryusuke said he decided to sleep outside and guard our equipment and van from possible thieves. He was really worried last night so…" Taira gets quieter and quieter until he trails off completely, looking sheepishly at the rest of us. Huh, this sounds like a little white lie. I snort in disbelief.

"Ryusuke guarded the equipment in the van is just a nice way of saying Ryusuke got very, _very_ drunk and slept _under_ the van, isn't it?" Kim challenges. "He needs to seriously get his act together or else I will _forcefully _make him clean up his act." Wow, this is the first time her motherly spirit has shown through since we had to get together with the Beck crew.

The boys are wide-eyed and tongue-tied after Kim's little outburst. I don't think they expected her to get so fired up – ever – over such a trivial matter that they themselves were used to. Well, it was safe to say that Ryusuke had his very last alcoholic beverage of the tour last night.

Before long I have us all on the highway safely tucked into the confines of the death machine. People are sleepy; most heads are either leaned against the window or on a shoulder of another person. I can't help feeling tired myself, even though it's only the start of a long day.

For a full two hours there isn't much in the way of conversation. Within the hour Kim rails Ryusuke once again, this time for smelling like he crawled out from under a van, which he did, so really there was nothing we could do but crack a window. Which of course amounted to opening _all_ the windows as much as possible. Koyuki and Taira exchange pleasantries over the back of Taira's seat occasionally since Koyuki had been lucky not to get the middle this time. All in all it's quiet and the only sound is the rain coming down in sheets hitting the van with a constant pitter-patter.

It had started raining not long after we left the hotel so I was driving slower than usual. The radio was on before but the rain made the signal crap so Bob Marley's _I Shot the Sheriff _kept cutting in and out. Shortly I debate throwing a CD in but decide against it. Nobody would agree on what to listen to so why bother? At this point I didn't want to start any unnecessary pandemonium.

When someone finally speaks above the pouring rain my ears tuned in automatically.

"Girl kick you out?" Chiba asks with a wolfish grin. I think he enjoys seeing Ryusuke hung over. It's a wonder Chiba isn't feeling anything at all, maybe he didn't intoxicate himself that badly the night before.

Ryusuke rubs his temples, "Girl turned out to be a guy dressed in drag so I ran for the hills. Then I realized I forgot the key for the hotel room. So I found the van but it was locked too." He groaned, clutching his stomach as Chiba cackled softly to himself. "S-so I kind of passed out after I crawled under there. I think I was looking for a loose floorboard or something magical to happen."

I snicker at his expense and force myself to stop eavesdropping. I need to pay attention to the other vehicles on the highway. There are umpteen transport trucks on this divided highway that could squash our little van and trailer no problem.

Tulsa, Oklahoma, I can't wait to enter your depths and find a cozy little hotel room out of the rain! But, alas, we have a gig to play tonight so curling up beside a heater is not possible. Instead I will suffer the trauma of drowning in this rainstorm and …huh? Whoa, wait a second.

Without warning the sky opened up and started dropping ice chunks instead of rain all over the road. And yes, a van going over a hundred kilometres an hour hitting hail is noisy and downright frightening. For the first time since beginning to drive today I slowed down to under the speed limit.

"Holy shit guys, I'm pulling over," I yell to nobody in particular. There's a murmur of agreement as we all collectively flinch whenever a particularly ginormous piece of hail smacks the front of the windshield. I swear if they get any bigger there's going to be huge dents in the Becky-Flux-mobile. Not that it was aesthetically pleasing in the first place.

People were pulling their vehicles over to the side of the highway all around us. Some idiots were getting out and being blasted with hail. One guy got hit on the head so hard he didn't get up again. We watched, faintly amused, as his buddy tried to pick him off the pavement and back to their vehicle. Why he even got out in the first place is a mystery to us all.

Derisiveness aside, we were only a few miles away from the hotel. There was no way in hell I wasn't getting there on time. There was also no way in hell any of us were going to miss our next live performance. It was in less than three hours. We needed to jet.

I check my mirrors and rev the engine. The van takes off like the devil himself is behind us. The tires are having a hard time going over the huge chunks of ice so I shift into a lower gear for extra horsepower. The van is a real trooper; that much even Ritsu can conclude.

"R-Rylie!" Chi screeches as we lurch back on to the highway at break-neck speed, "What the hell are you doing!"

The ice plasters the windshield as I accelerate. I pretend that between the crunching of frozen behemoth ice under the tires and smacking of debris on the front end of the van I couldn't hear a word she just said.

I keep on going. The highway is relatively clear of cars with this new weather development. Some had slid off into the ditch but most were just pulled over, waiting for the weather to get better. For the most part I have the ice-covered asphalt all to myself.

I strongly believe from the glances in my rear-view mirror that well over 90% of the van's occupants think that I'm going to crash and kill them all. But, fortunately for all of us, the adrenaline seems to give me enhanced driving skills. Then again, there aren't many obstacles to dodge on a relatively straight and deserted highway.

By the time Saku and Chi used their superior navigating senses in collaboration to land us at the back door of the venue we were to play at it was the middle of the afternoon. We were early for once. Not to be arrogant or anything but it was all thanks to me. Hah.

We start unloading right away. Most of our gear we simply place on the small stage at the back of the venue, since the Flux will perform first and Beck second. There's supposed to be a third local band playing last but they have yet to arrive. The bar has a few late afternoon patrons, mostly people who looked as if they'd just gotten off work. An older crowd. Hopefully as the time passed the people coming would get younger. Otherwise we could be stuck with a crowd expecting us to play some classic rock or, much worse, _country_. Heaven forbid it.

Kim grabbed my arm and tugged, "Rylie, uh, we kind of have a problem outside." Her quiet voice was almost lost to the obnoxiously loud jukebox in the corner of the room. I allowed myself to be lead back to the van, where everyone was standing around gawking. I didn't even have to ask what the problem was, as it was quite plain to see.

The right front tire was deflated to the point where it sagged in a blubbery heap on the pavement.

"Okay, we officially have one flat tire," Taira concedes dryly, making a point to stare at me, the picture of innocence. How was I supposed to know that a little ice could pop a hole in a piece of rubber?

Our group stays silent as we ponder our predicament. Suddenly Chiba pipes up, "Why don't we just jack up that van over there and take a tire off of it? No one's around."

"'Cause that would be stealing, you moron," Ritsu hisses through her teeth. Chiba glares heatedly at the girl, who, unwavering, glares back with just as much venom. I was relieved to see that Ritsu was back to her regular snappish self but at the same time I didn't want to witness another Chiba beat down. Once today was more than enough, thanks.

"Okay guys, chill," Chi tried to reconcile. "Lets think about this rationally. How much money do we have?"

"Not enough to buy a tire _and_ food," Taira grumbles loudly, his jaw clenching out of stress and frustration. We all huff at the thought of going hungry.

"Maybe if we're lucky the venue manager will pay us really well," Chi says, though from her tone I know even she doesn't believe her own words.

Shrugging I say, "I guess it's worth a shot to tell him about our problem in case he has a scrap tire or something lurking around." The others look less than talkative so I just grab Ryusuke who has sobered up well enough and head back inside, hoping to find the manager. If he's a good guy maybe he'll feed us bar food. Then we'd be covered hunger-wise.

You know the venue you're playing at is a seedy place when you can't even find the guy who owns the damn thing. Ryusuke and I ask around and so far our only clues are from the sound tech and the bartender. Curiously enough they both say relatively the same thing:

"I guess it's high time I went to work for some other asshole."

Ryusuke and I spare a glance at our respective bands standing against a wall in an effort to try and blend in with the shady décor. Nobody's throats were being ripped out, so that at least is a comfort.

From out of my peripheral I glimpse a strong hand clamp down on Ryusuke's shoulder.

"Ryusuke!" The man cries out, pulling the guitarist into a one handed hug. I look him up and down, noting his greying beard and hair, crooked yellow teeth, old broken sunglasses hanging off his nose held together with duct tape, and, most prominent of all, his ratty black hat. It looks like it went through the wringer. Repeatedly.

"Holy hell, is that you Mr. Davis?" Ryusuke near shouts. I step back, away from the smelly, more-than-likely flea-ridden black man. I'm slightly curious to see how these two know each other.

Five bucks says they're old drinking buddies.

But alas, as Ryusuke makes the introductions he explains that he met his friend John Lee Davis when he was going through a rough time in his life. Apparently the man standing with a sugared smile really impacted Ryusuke's life when he was in New York a while back. And actually in a positive way for once.

Huh, I don't really know what to say. I'm failing to see how this hobo _helped _dear Ryusuke, though it kind of explains the under-the-van incident this morning. I could see Mr. Davis pulling that move as well.

"So, Mr. Davis, you have a spare tire?" Ryusuke asks when he finishes explaining our current situation. By now both Beck and flux have joined us, though it appears that Chiba and Ritsu still haven't settled their differences. Even with Mr. Davis to ogle they continue to glare at one another and crack their knuckles occasionally.

"Nope. I don't own a car!" He laughs heartily while everyone else sighs in distain for the harsh world. He seems to catch on that he's the only one laughing and says, more seriously, "But, I know somebody who might be able to hook you up."

"Who?" We all shout in unison.

He scratches his beard thoughtfully, "Well, that's if he's still alive. I dunno, I haven't seen the feller in, oh I dunno, maybe twenty years…"

Everyone, even Ryusuke, deflates a little bit when we hear that.

"But don't worry. 'E just lives down the road from here! I'll be back for your live," he says as he starts to saunter off. I have say he lost a few lights in the attic a long time ago from the looks of things. We're in good hands. Right.

* * *

The air is definitely muskier down in the pit of the club as opposed to up on the stage. All the seating bodies, more arriving every moment, made the room muggy and in turn set me off in a sweat. The only sweating I like is where I practise with my bass or when I'm in a mosh pit at a killer show. I am not the kind of girl to go out of her way to work out in a gym. Besides, I have all the muscles I need hefting heavy amps and drums.

The Flux had just finished performing about twenty minutes ago. We played pretty hard considering the turbulence and uncertainty of the day. Maybe it was just us working off steam. Whatever it was we were slammin' today and the experience left a smile on everyone's face.

I had a feeling as the crowd jockeyed for spots that Beck would be wild today too. I had figured that before some idiot spilt his beer all over one of my shoes in excitement as Koyuki took the stage first. Chi cheers and is probably embarrassing the hell out of the boys by acting like a rabid fan as they set up. She's certainly turning heads right now.

After greeting the growing crowd Chiba starts to go about his business, screeching into the microphone as Ryusuke starts up a solo guitar riff. The mob of concertgoers start to push and shove one another as Taira, Saku and Koyuki jump in smoothly, bringing the real heavy noise. The drums and bass start pulsing and everyone starts moving with the beat, swaying and jumping up and down. I'll admit that I'm not staying still at this point either.

It's only about a forty-five minute set and most people in the audience clap and whistle between songs, especially when Ryusuke starts throwing picks and Taira takes off his shirt, tossing it into the crowd of girls that had gathered at the front. I'm a little disappointed he didn't throw it to me, but as I watch the girls more of less tear the shirt to shreds I'm instantaneously glad I wasn't in the middle of _that_. I'd have assault charges filed against me, guaranteed.

The night is certainly looking up when I catch Mr. Davis near the back of the room waving his hands over the multitude of people. I know he's probably not even waving to me but I decide to push my way over anyways, see what he's got to say.

"Excuse me," I say repeatedly, trying being civil at first. After a while I give up and just shove my body through, signing autographs on the way. It's weird at first when people ask you to sign their body parts but I guess that there's something about getting autographs that just has people floored. The Flux is by no means famous or anything so scrawling a signature on a few biceps, cleavage areas, and arms is kind of elating in a way.

I don't even question why some girls want me to sign their boobs. Whatever. One would think they'd be getting Taira, Chiba or Ryusuke to do the deed. Or even Koyuki or Saku, though I'm sure those two would faint at even the thought…

"Oi! Rylie, right?" John Lee Davis asks as soon as I approach. I nod my head, slightly breathless as I finally get out of the throng of sweaty bodies. Wow, do I ever need a mouthful of fresh air right now. He seems to read my mind and beckons me to the door, just as Beck gets off the stage for the night. "Outside, ya?"

"Yeah."

I don't know how long he's been in there but I've been breathing in the smell of fast food cigarettes and liquor for too long now. Gladly I follow the man out, making sure to wave over my shoulder at Chi to let her know where I'm going. She sees me briefly, just long enough to give me a half-assed response.

I trail behind him as he leads me around the corner of the building, chatting about the effects pedal Ryusuke was using earlier. Half the time I don't know what he's talking about so I just give a nod and a smile when it's needed.

"Okay, here be my lions," Mr. Davis says as he gestures to the loot of tires he somehow found over the course of less than an hour. There appears to be six there all in a jumble. Some are smaller than the others but all in all this looks like a godsend to me. How he got them from wherever it was he got them from I don't know but here they were. I kicked one in experimental glee. My foot throbs with pain. It's by no means flat.

The lights on the venue are shining a little brighter tonight.

* * *

**A.N.:** Wow. That was a terrible wait. It just seemed that I lost inspiration for this story and so another story took its place.

So John Lee Davis is actually from the manga. He was that guy who helped Ryusuke NOT get shot in the head and thrown in a gutter. Yep.

Anyways, that was chapter 12 and I hope you guys will review since really reviews are the only things that keep this story going!

Reviews are my motivation guys!

~Reiki


	13. It's All Sublime From Here

**A.N.:** Not much to say here. I think it's easier to write Taira for some reason. I guess I just love writing his horny hormones.

This chapter is dedicated to **Itsuka Yamazaki** and **JesseB954**. These two selflessly reviewed and reminded me of how much I actually love this story. _Thank you my friends!_

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and later scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 13 – It's All Sublime From Here

* * *

Wow. I just had a euphoric experience. The kind where you just have to step back and look at life again, re-evaluate yourself and see where your life is actually going.

I met God. It all happened on the corner of Bob O Link Drive and Sperry Street. We pulled into a parking a lot to stretch our legs and there he was playing a beater acoustic on top of a cardboard box. He had this crazy hairdo; long frizzy brown hair and matching beard. It looked a bit like how many people envisioned Jesus Christ but his cardboard box had 'God' scribbled on the side so that's what we called him.

We learned later that God stood for George Ollie Dumphry. At the time he had been smoking a joint and talking to the local hobo about life and the fast cars that drove through the neighbourhood every once and a while. Ryusuke pulled out an acoustic from our trailer and jammed with the guy while we all looked on; amazed that such a talented musician was living on the streets with only his cardboard box and guitar.

It really made me feel lucky to be in the position I am in right now. Even if our van broke down and we had to jump on board with the Flux, even if we didn't get paid nearly enough in the last city and, most of all, even if I can't seem to score with the object of my affections, AKA Rylie.

There is still much to be thankful for, I guess.

Anyways, after the gig last night we were in a pretty chipper mood. Sure, Chiba and Ritsu didn't make civil conversation or something equally epic but at least they didn't get into a fistfight either. All in all we collected the meagre bit of cash that was due after our performances and left for the hotel. I actually slept, though that was because I got to share a bed with Saku rather than Chiba last night. Saku just curls up with the blankets in a cocoon which is annoying but better than having Chiba next to me acting out Karate in his sleep. I have bruises on my side that are black and blue from one particular night where he tried to chop me in half with side of his hand. Yeah, it's a rude awakening.

It was my turn to drive today. We made surprisingly good time getting to Dallas, Texas, though perhaps I was speeding. Considering John Lee Davis got us a tire (and a couple spares if we wanted them) in record time the night before everyone was feeling a good kind of buzz. We were out of the rough for the moment and back into our 'rockstar' daze.

We have an early show and then the rest of the day and the day after that off. This morning we got up and left the hotel in Tulsa at about 5AM for the four and a half hour drive, getting into the heart of the city just a bit before the lunch hour rush. For which I was glad since the highway drivers in Dallas actually scare me. I swear I was nearly pushed into a traffic island by a transport truck who didn't see the van until the last second. I guess we were in his blind spot when he decided it was prime time to make a lane change. Luckily for us the van's brakes actually work. I'll admit I was surprised too considering our rather shitty luck.

We ate at some crappy American fast food place that was off an exit on the main freeway and hopped back in the van to get to our 1:00 show. It appeared to be just inside the main metropolitan area, which meant road rage galore.

"It's more right of here Taira. I think we need to be in the next lane," Saku says as he studies a crinkled print-out map. I watch the overhead signs fly past me, checking my mirrors to see the lane Saku specified to be full of vehicles. I put my signal on, wait a bit but oh no; the other vehicles weren't about to let me into their lane.

"Damn, they won't let me in! Now what Saku?" I cried as I dismally watch that lane exit while the van and trailer continue on down the road to who-knows-where. We go under several more overpasses before Saku recalculates. Only by then we're past his recalculations.

The cycle continues, only by now Chi is hanging half over the front seat trying to study the map and help out Saku, who's lost our position on said map. A glance in my rear-view mirror shows me Ryusuke's face in the backseat, frivolously drinking in the sight of Chi's butt in the air. Resisting the urge to roll my eyes I can only try and forget about his perverted-ness and focus on the road.

We finally get off the highway on a smaller stretch of road and come to an intersection. I breathe in to try and calm myself down.

Chi pipes up, "Okay, we need to go left from here."

"Yeah, okay," I reply as I look at the lights. Then, I notice a sign with a groan, "Aw shit, no left turn!" The light turns green and the people behind me honk their horns. Reluctantly I pull forward and move across the intersection, the trailer lurching upwards over potholes.

"No, no, no! Not straight!" Chi shrieks, to which I remove a hand from the steering wheel to clamp down on my right ear. My ear rings at the abuse.

All the while Kim's in the backseat white as a bleached sheet and clutching Rylie in a vice grip that looks insanely painful. But, at least she's quiet. Ritsu is too for the most part, though she's in the passenger seat (who decided this?) flipping people off for honking at us earlier. Chiba and Ryusuke are chatting worriedly to one another in the backseat, Koyuki squashed in between them. Koyuki's just staring straight ahead, trying not to let his face betray any signs of distress and failing miserably. Saku? He's sandwiched between me and Ritsu of course, one of the worst seats in the house. Or van; whatever.

"Okay, now what?" I ask as we head up a ramp. Upon getting to the top it curls in an arc…then I'm back on the highway. ARGH! "Hurry up and think guys!"

Saku furrows his brow and glares at the billboards that dictate more or less where we are. I watch his finger trace over our route from my peripheral and came to the conclusion that we were once again quite lost.

I glimpse the signs wiz by until I notice an exit that seems pretty good right now. "Ritsu, blind spot check on the right!"

She leans her face up against the window, "Ya, no one there. Hurry and change there's a truck coming up."

I drift into the lane and take the exit, half of the vehicle's occupants screaming in protest (except for Ritsu who's laughing manically). But, by that time I'm in the deceleration lane. My right ear is now deaf and my left one is soon to follow. If I weren't so focused on driving I'd push Chi backwards and out of my personal bubble.

"Taira! Why'd you do that!" everyone is screaming, save for Ritsu who just continues to cackle at our expense. I hold up a hand to try and silence the angry mob, only to be shot down when Chi comes over my shoulder and tries to take the wheel from me. As weird as that sounds considering she's in the backseat she actually thinks she's going to take over and drive now. I bat her prying hands away. We're like two kids declaring battle in a sandbox, I swear. The hands flailing in my vision was the sand in the eyes assault.

From the rear-view mirror I see that Ryusuke's still staring at the blonde's ass. Nice. Real nice Ryusuke. She's going to fucking kill us all if she gets the wheel and all you're doing is undressing her with your eyes?

I need to pull over and calm down before I lose all my hair to stress.

"Okay, I'm pulling into that SuperAmerica gas station right there," I say as I flip on my signal light. I should really go out and check if the trailer's signal lights actually work. Ten bucks says they're both burnt out or otherwise kaput. Yeah. That would explain why the other drivers on the freeway weren't too fond of me.

Even before I put the van in park everyone's piling out the doors in waves. I end up being the last one out of the van, trooping around the side towards the little corner store behind the pack of angry musicians.

Thankfully unlike our van the store has air conditioning. Ahead of me in the chip aisle Chiba is doing the bird dance, flapping his arms in an attempt to cool himself down. I give him a wide berth knowing full well that the stench from his armpits will be enough to knock me flat for the duration of the day. I swear he misplaced his deodorant. I'm almost, _almost_ tempted to grab some off the shelf and throw it at his unsuspecting back, just to make a point.

But, I'm Taira the sensible one so I don't do that. But, I want to. Oh, do I ever want to.

"Saku brought the map in so I guess we're just going to stand around in the store, cool off and figure out where you brought us," Rylie says as she comes up beside me with a bag of what could be Cheetos. "It's way too damn hot out there."

"Yeah," I say slowly, wondering if I smell nearly as bad as Chiba. A weird thought but really, when you're next to the girl you like these things pop up out of nowhere.

_Oh man, sweaty babes! It doesn't get better than this. Unless they're in a bikini, then it's better, naturally. _

Hell, and here I thought you weren't coming back. Stupid Devil.

_What? That's my name now? It's not incredibly original, you know that? We should think of something better._

Shut up! Can't you see I'm trying to have a conversation here!

_With who? Last I checked she already walked off._

Aw hell, I hate you!

I ground my teeth as I follow Rylie, thinking back to the bass theft episode and how damn close I was to getting her to be my girl. Kay, so I hadn't actually asked or anything but I thought the kiss might've spurred something. Anything really. Since that night she hadn't mentioned it at all. Not that we ever had any time alone together. That was the thing when traveling with a whole crapload of other people. There was no privacy to be had.

_She's probably just leading you on, ya know?_

Er, excuse me? Who asked you?

_I'm just saying man. Chick hasn't exactly so much as winked at you yet. Maybe she's taking advantage of you. Girls can be mean like that._

I…Rylie wouldn't do that, right?

_I dunno man. Look at her._

I oblige and look at her. The guy behind the counter is flirting with her as she pays for her cheese stick things and she's just smiling back, fully aware of his advances. Or is she? Yeah, she probably is.

_She's this hot babe and you're just the guy who's gonna lose all his hair before he turns thirty. It just goes without saying; you're out of your league with this one._

Subconsciously I run a hand through my bleached hair, then look at my hand. Sure enough there's a tiny near white hair sitting in my palm. I debate on putting it back on my head, then, as soon as the thought passes, I want to slap myself for my stupidity. Everyone loses a little hair, right? Right?

"Jeez Taira, you're looking freaked out over something," Saku says as he shakes my shoulder. I jolt and drop my hand quickly, looking down at the dirty tiled floor. Damn, I just lost my strand of hair! I'm one less!

"I-I, I'm fine," I stutter as I will myself not to get down on hands and knees in the middle of the store (and in front of Saku) to search for my lost friend. It would be fruitless, after all.

He looks at me strangely as I examine the floor inconspicuously. "Well, okay then. Chi and I figured out our route by the way. We can get the 1:00 show real easy if we get back onto the expressway thinger."

"It's good somebody's planning this stuff," I mutter as we file out of the shop gradually. I hadn't purchased anything but a bottle of water. Ryusuke and Chiba on the other hand were blowing our gig money. Of course.

Before we start loading into the van I pull Koyuki aside and whisper quickly, "Do me a favour and sit next to Chi. Restrain her if she gets rowdy, _please._"

"Okay Taira," the youngest boy agrees. He's always such a pushover. I fear I might be taking advantage of him here. Chi isn't exactly the best person to sit next to when on the road.

I owe Saku and Koyuki big time for their skills in navigation and people-pleasing.

We get to the outdoor gig without any problems this time. We play without any problems. We get our money without any problems. We pack up again without any problems…

All in all it went well. Too well. Something's going to give. My gut is acting up, which warns me that something's about to go terribly, terribly wrong. That or it's the burger I ate earlier. That damn heavily processed American cheese always gets to me when I least expect it.

"You did pre-plan how we're getting to the hotel, right Saku?" I ask, once we're all settled into the van and ready to go.

Saku looks at me, feigning an insulted face. "You bet. Don't I always?" We chuckle as I put the key in the ignition, shifting into gear soon after. "'Kay, see the intersection up there? Take a right then at the next intersection we can take a left and go down the ramp to merge with the traffic on the freeway."

It sounded easy enough, in theory. However, when the ramp Saku specified was decorated with orange plastic cones and flashing lights signifying construction, things became just that much more complicated. I had to plough through the intersection, bumping along the potholes the construction created, and instead take the _only_ detour available. Which led us into a highly residential area.

Dodging little children, stray cats, dogs chasing those stray cats, and in the process angering opposing traffic did little to lift my mood of impending doom. There weren't any helpful signs that dictated just what street to take to get back to the freeway, which meant before long we were all lost. _Again_. Saku points out that obviously everything is arranged in square blocks, which, in his humble opinion, would mean that we could to go parallel to the freeway and still get to our destination.

In theory.

Add a few city busses blocking our way, a new detour route nobody saw until the last second (by then it was too late) and, of course, Chi breathing down my neck like my mother just before she went senile and you mix it all up to get my frustration.

I must have steam coming out of my ears because Chiba calls out, "Taira, pull over, I'll drive." It's at this point that I figure, aw what the hell, Chiba can't make things any worse. I pull over in front of someone's dumpy little house. Their white dog with black spots comes out and charges the van at breakneck speed, completely unavoidable. It looks like a Dalmatian, which, if I read correctly somewhere, can sometimes be really vicious dogs.

'Vicious dog' as in bites Chiba as soon as he steps out of the van to switch places with me. Obviously I feel bad for running past him and climbing into the back seat while the dog's maw is firmly clamped around his lower arm but what can a guy do, right?

Apparently the van's female population thought differently.

"Aw! Look at that cute doggy!" Chi squeals. She throws open the van's door and gracefully steps out while I, less than gracefully, gape at her. Does she not see the dog frothing at the mouth with Chiba's arm wedged between razor-sharp teeth? I don't get girls.

Meanwhile Ritsu and Ryusuke are laughing their asses off at Chiba's screaming expense. The younger boys, like me, are doing the sensible thing and staying put with their mouths wide-open. Rylie, well…

She's following Chi outside. Which is more than enough reason to get back out of the van. I can feel my testosterone rising above normal levels, or maybe it's my blood rushing to my face, but either way before I know what I'm doing I'm in front of Rylie as a buffer. Here's Taira the human shield everyone!

Then most amazing thing I've ever seen happens. Chi's petting the dumb mutt's head and the dog just _lets go_ of Chiba's arm. Like it's nothing. Then it flops over belly up, totally submissive, its big black doe eyes begging Chi to rub its tummy.

At least it's not a boy dog.

Chiba's wailing his head off and shaking his arm to try…to do what exactly? Get the blood flowing again? I stride over to inspect his bite marks. Huh, there are bright red indents from the dog's canine teeth but at least there's no blood. The dog couldn't have been biting _too_ hard.

"That's Satan's bitch!" he screams as I turn his forearm around to inspect it further. Eww, his arm's covered in dog slobber. I nearly keel over with bile in my mouth at the sight.

"If you want to be technical, a female dog is a bitch, yes?" Rylie assures us as she too lets the dog sniff her palm before petting its tummy. Wow, I'm officially jealous of an animal. I've officially gone lower than low.

"Hey you's kids!"

We all look up to see a burly old redneck in a red flannel jacket making his way towards us. We exchange horrified looks when we see he's carrying a hunting gun. And here I thought this neighbourhood, while run down, would be a good place to stop for a mere second!

"Is this your dog?" Kim asks, pointing to the Dalmatian. As if knowing she was being spoken about, the dog wags her tail happily, thumping it against the rusted metal of the van.

The man snorts indignantly. "Tha' dog's been hangin' round my lot for a couplea weeks now. I ain't gonna take care o' her. Pound don't want 'er either. If ya want 'er it'll save me a bullet to put 'er out." The hick balances the rifle on his shoulder as he reaches into his pocket to grab a lighter and his box of cigarettes.

Ryusuke quickly translates for everyone.

"We'll take her!" Koyuki and Chi yell simultaneously.

"What?" Chiba and I squeak. We exchange looks of disaster.

With a strangled laugh the man says, "Whatever. Git off my lawn." And with that he stumbles back up towards his little shack, which, I must point out, looks worse off than Ryusuke's fish shack back home. All this time I'd thought the fish shack was the shoddiest building on earth. But, I've been wrong before.

Kim snaps her fingers. It works to get everyone's attention, including our newest addition. "Quick, let's get off his lawn before he shoots us!"

That gets us moving. Chiba looks at his arm, then at me, then back at his arm. It's turning purple and bluish. "I can't drive Taira."

"Fine," I grumble as I walk around to the driver's side and slide in behind the wheel. I stare blankly as everyone resumes their positions; only Rylie and Koyuki are sitting in the front seat now. So basically I'm driving (_again_), squished against Koyuki, who's in the middle, who is also sitting next to the object of my blatant staring. Said holder of my affections is sitting cross-legged in the passenger seat, calling the dog to hop in where her feet should be.

The Dalmatian scrambles in and sits perfectly still, head slightly angled to the side to watch me. I shiver as I turn the van on; not even a minute into the car ride and already the dog's fixed her creepy eyes on me.

Rylie turns around in her seat as I begin to put my seatbelt on. "Is there anything back there for the dog to eat? I can feel her ribs!" I can't help but watch her tank top slide down, the fabric over her chest jutting out towards me as she turns around farther and gives me a clear view of her –

_I always knew you were a pervert._

That comment was not needed!

_Oh please, any self-respecting straight man would look too, I was just joking._

Look, I don't have time for you right now! I have to drive and find the hotel, we have this hungry probably flea-ridden mutt in the front seat and my love interest hasn't even acknowledge my existence for the past couple hours!

_Oh yeah, your lack of a sex life. That's still a HOT topic. Right._

"Damn it woman, you are not giving the bitch my beef jerky!" Chiba's voice splitting the air like a cleaver wrenches me out of my argument with…

_Call me your hormones or the Devil. Or you can give me a real name, but then you might start believing you have a split-personality. Now wouldn't that be funny? You could be Tai and I could be Ra._

Shut up Ra.

_Stupid Tai. _

"Oh, can it, gimpy," Ritsu retorts, referencing Chiba's less than stellar arm injury. I jolt in my seat as a package of Jack Link's teriyaki beef jerky hits the windshield in front of me. Koyuki picks it up hurriedly and passes it off to Rylie, who gives the dog a chunk from the package. Huh, that couldn't be good for it, right? I mean, its meat but it's got all that salt on it…

Regardless of high blood pressure the dog scarf's the smoked meat down like a starving animal. Oh wait a second…

Rylie fed the monster more whilst Saku gave me the directions to the hotel from the back seat. Apparently we're on a good street already since the hotel will just be straight down the road and then to the right of us. According to Saku we can't miss it. At this point as much as I don't want to I have to believe him, sadly.

We drive in perpetual silence, at least until Ryusuke starts singing in the back seat between Ritsu and Chiba.

"_I got a Dalmatian – and I can still get high – I can play the guitar like a mother fuckin' riot!_" he sings loudly and way, _way_ out of key. Plus, are those even the words? Sounds about right to me though.

"Good one Ryusuke! 'What I Got' by Sublime," Koyuki clarifies for those who don't know. I certainly knew; Sublime's old CDs were bloody awesome. I could tell by the way Rylie lit up as Ryusuke sang that she knew the artist immediately as well. More brownie points for her I guess. Not that she needs more reasons for me to like her, mind you.

Ryusuke laughs heartily, "It totally works though! You know, Brad Nowell had a Dalmatian named Louie. Kind of like how we have Beck. Plus a Dalmatian now I guess. I wonder if Beck will like her… Probably, considering the dog's a _female_."

I can't help but laugh to myself; Ryusuke is more like his dog than he realizes. Rylie and Koyuki shoot me questioning glances. I just shrug nonchalantly. If Saku were sitting up here he'd just pass it off as one of my 'moments'.

"Ooh, I know!" Saku, the man in question, suddenly starts cheerfully, "Let's call the dog Sublime!" Koyuki rushes to agree with his best friend.

I snorted, "That's kind of a stupid name for a dog-"

"I think it's perfect!" Rylie exclaims, which shuts me up quick. At least she wasn't paying attention to me. Wait, that's a bad thing. Damn.

"Sublime actually means awe-inspiring or worthy of adoration and reverence," Kim pipes up, "I don't know how that really applies to the dog."

"Worthy of adoration applies," Chi confirmed, "I mean look at her! She's so cute! Don't you think so Ritsu?"

Ritsu snorts and in the rear-view mirror I see her roll her eyes at the ceiling, "No comment." She shakes her head sadly, "It's just a dog." I can see that Chiba's nodding, actually agreeing with the Flux's drummer for once. He's never going to get over this.

"Hey guys, that's the hotel!" Rylie calls as she points at a shabby looking building. Better than sleeping in the van though, that's for sure. I pull up to the front and we get out of the van. Newly dubbed Sublime jumps out and wanders off to a grassy area to do her business. Good, I don't want her peeing where she's not supposed to later.

"Ritsu and I will stay outside with the dog," Kim says as she snaps her fingers. Miraculously the dog trots over to her, sitting on the asphalt near her feet. Sublime probably thinks she's going to get some more jerky. I don't have the heart to tell her we ran out.

The rest of the entourage troops inside, relishing in the air-conditioned building. Sure, it smells funny and the walls have a bunch of water stains but at the moment the hotel is simply heaven on earth.

Ryusuke and I stalk up to the counter where a middle aged woman is sitting behind a computer. "We have rooms booked for tonight and tomorrow night under Yoshiyuki and…"

He looks at Chi and she filled in, "Morioka." She turns to me, "That's Rylie's surname."

"Oh," wow, I really should have known that a _long_ time ago. Now I know.

The woman behind the counter squints at her computer screen, pushing her thick black glasses up the bridge of her nose. Her face, pulled into a frown, isn't very reassuring.

"I'm sorry, I believe there was a mistake. The rooms are available only for tonight, not tomorrow night. Rights to the rooms have since been given away to different customers because there was no down payment. We also don't have any more rooms available in this hotel tomorrow, but we can call around our chain to try and find you a place to stay." Her obviously fake southern accent was really starting to bug me. I could practically feel my hair falling out in exasperation.

"Are you absolutely sure you don't have any rooms?" Ryusuke asks, panicking. He doesn't want to be stuck sleeping in the van any more than I do.

She takes a couple minutes to check the computer again. "No." I think that's code for 'get lost smelly children.' Stupid old hag and her stupid computer.

I open my mouth to retort angrily but Chi steps in front of me and says, "No, that won't be necessary. I just phoned my friend who's going to let us stay at her ranch tomorrow. Thanks anyway."

I wheel around; when the hell had she done that? But, sure enough, there's a cell phone in her hand and a smile on her face. Girls, I just _don't_ understand them.

We fill out a few papers and get our room keys. It's then that I notice a piece of paper taped to the side of the check-in desk; no pets. I bite my lip but don't call it to attention.

"Your rooms are around the backside of the hotel. You go up the stairs and take a right in the hallway," the lady explains to Ryusuke (who's still fuming), as if our huge group is all incapable of reading the many signs that I can see littering the walls. "Oh, and we have a computer you can use in the front lobby. Breakfast starts at 6AM." She finishes on a squeaky note and we turn to file back outside, chatting demurely about not trusting American hotels.

As soon as we get out in front of the van I say loudly so everyone can hear, "Okay, there's no pets allowed in this hotel."

Ryusuke shrugs, "We'll just have to sneak Sublime around the back. I'm sure we won't run into anyone. Maybe a few maids but I'm sure I can charm them into not saying a word."

* * *

We ended up going down the narrow hallways in a single file line, carrying our stuff, Sublime wedged in the middle between everyone. It serves two purposes really; to hide her from the cleaning lady down the hall and to keep her from darting off. Though she learned the word 'food' pretty quick. By now we were feeding her whatever we could find.

We end up bringing take-out back to the hotel to eat. Frankly everyone is exhausted and nobody cares too much at this point if the dog's drooling all over the scuffed up hardwood floor. We give her a few chicken nuggets (Chiba refused to share any more of _his_ food with the dog) and Ryusuke went out after that, leaving us to just chill in the hotel and watch American television. I have to laugh at American Idol; some of the contestants suck immensely.

Ryusuke comes back with a huge sack of dog kibble slung over his shoulder, a bright blue collar and matching leash within the hour.

"Why'd you get all that food? She's not going to be staying with us for that long…right? Besides, how much did that even cost?" My questions were endless. The most important question though; the deficit. I swear, if we're broke right now because of one mutt…

"Not as much as you think Taira, chill. But, I finally kind of maxed out the band's credit card…"

I flop down on the bed, defeated. The dog jumps up on the bed beside me and licks my face, leaving a trail of slime across my cheek. At this point, I don't even make a move to wipe it off. Who cares anyway? The dog's just going to do it again. And again. And again.

Sure enough, she rubs her wet nose under my chin. Her nose is _frozen,_ I swear. What is she; cold blooded?

"You guys have a really big room compared to the rest of us," Ryusuke says to Saku, Koyuki and I. "Chiba and I are practically living in a broom closet across the hall. I talked to Chi and I guess they have a similar problem, so they don't want the dog staying in their rooms. And you know how Chiba doesn't really like Sublime…"

"Are you trying to tell me the Dalmatian is sleeping in _my_ room?" I ask dangerously. The dog starts panting and wagging her tail, completely unafraid of my tone of voice.

"_Our_ room Taira," Saku corrects. "Besides, she's just going to sleep on the floor."

I crook an eyebrow and gesture to the dog that has taken up residence on _my_ bed. Floor my ass. As if the dog's going to sleep on the hardwood floor when she can just nose her way into a warm bed. I don't even bother to point out that dear Sublime will probably piss on the sheets in the middle of the night. Everyone's set against me today anyway.

With the exception of Chiba of course. He's certainly my best friend. He's also certainly absent, the bastard.

We lounge around like ticks on a dog for a while until the Flux comes down to visit. Only they don't really want to see _us_ as much as they want to see _Sublime_. They want to take the dog for a walk with the newly bought supplies. If it means the dog will stop salivating all over me then I can sacrifice Rylie for an hour or so while I recuperate. Besides, we'll probably be together all day tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that…

"When's this tour over?" I moan, burrowing my face in the pillows on the hard bed. Really, the mattress is one big rock. Maybe sleeping on the floor will be more comfortable.

Saku and Koyuki gasp audibly as if I'd just insulted their mothers.

"What are you talking about Taira?"

"We're living our dreams!" Koyuki exclaims heartily.

I prop myself up on an elbow, "My dream is to have a good night's rest and a good meal that doesn't contain any American cheese whatsoever."

They both exchange glances, probably resigning me to the loony bin. I can't blame them; I mean if I were in their shoes I'd have done the same only a long_, long_ time ago.

Ryusuke and Chiba come into the room with the spare key we gave them. Chiba looks bored and Ryusuke, well, he looks utterly flustered.

"Saku! I need you to work the computer! The lady I was chatting up at the pet store told me that one of the major highways we planned to take out of Dallas in the direction of Atlanta is _closed_!" He says this all in one breath and shrieks 'closed' like it's the most horrendous thing in the world. I cover my ears, which are now stinging, thank you very much.

"Oh. Okay."

"_Okay?_ It's not okay Saku!" Ryusuke screeches back.

In the end Beck in our entirety stumbles into the lobby in varying degrees of tranquillity. I tell myself that I'm only there to protect Koyuki and Saku, who are getting worked up from seeing Ryusuke off his rockers.

Saku sits down at the computer as I wander off with Chiba, checking out the paintings on the walls and just generally lazing about. I crack my knuckles at flinch when I realize that I forgot a room key. Which meant I had to either scam one off of Saku or Ryusuke, both who would probably prefer to have me waiting around for them to finish whatever it is they're doing on the computer. I sigh and pull out some more blonde hair from my head. I look at the dead locks of hair. This makes me sigh even louder.

"Hey guys, I'm on Google maps right now, want to see what our tour route looks like all zoomed out? I typed in all the places." Saku asks us all from his place in front of the computer monitor. I amble over with Chiba right on my heels.

"Sure," we chorus. Hey, it could be cool to see how far we've come and how far we have yet to travel. Or it could be incredibly depressing seeing how many cities we have yet to drive through. And don't we all know who does the driving around here.

"It looks like devil's horns! Like true rock 'n' roll!" Koyuki says gleefully, putting his index finger on the screen, "See, here's the pinkie finger and the pointer finger and those two lumps could be the other two middle fingers-"

"Oh man. Looks like a dick to me, kiddo," Chiba interrupts with his two cents worth.

"Yeah, that's one big penis across the United States of America," Ryusuke affirms with a sagely nod. "Now do something amazing and find that highway Saku."

I sigh again. Looks like I'll be waiting here for a bit longer. Then, by the time I get back to the room to relax without the dog slobbering all over me Rylie and the others will have brought said dog back. It was getting late after all. The sun was falling from the sky. My hair was also falling from my head. It had been a long day.

* * *

I wake up the next morning with Sublime next to me on the bed nuzzling my face, drool varnishing my forehead. The second I roll over to turn on the light and see the blotchy red liquid on her jaw and all over the floor I scream.

"Holy fuck! The mutt ate Koyuki!"

Saku shoots up out of bed, knocking his head against an overhead shelf. "_WHAT_!" He looks around wildly and sure enough Koyuki is no where to be seen. "Where's the body!" His voice is shrill as I threw back the covers and leapt out of bed clad only in my underwear, a pair of black boxers. "She ate _all of him!_"

"What! What is it?" Koyuki comes running out of the bathroom with his own boxers down around his ankles. I modestly shield my eyes at the full frontal imagery as he does an awkward combination of slip, trip, fall and land in the biggest puddle of red liquid in the room. Coincidentally, the wet area is _right_ in front of the tiny fridge.

"You're not dead!" Saku declares, as if seeing Koyuki in the nude isn't enough proof of that already. I groan as the sticky red substance coats the bottom of my feet. Upon seeing my heated look the dog cowers in a corner of the room. Well, I know the culprit. Though what's the offence?

My eyes descend on an empty bottle of red Gatorade. Ah. Of course. It's shredded to bits, presumably by our dear Dalmatian herself.

We clean the mess up with toilet paper (its all we have) and take turns showering to get the Gatorade off. I check the clock on the little table next to the bed after I'm done in the bathroom. It's way too early still. And this was supposed to be our day off! I flop back onto the stiff bed dejectedly, wishing that I could have gotten that extra bit of sleep.

Sublime hops onto the bed after me and puts her head on my stomach.

"What do you want?" I grumble. The dog whimpers slightly. "Food?" The dog snuffs and wags her tail, which isn't quite the reaction she'd usually have at the mention of the f-o-o-d word. "Outside?"

She bolts up, one of her paws impaling itself into my chest as she leaps in the direction of the door. I grunt and roll over in pain; I can just _feel_ the imprint of her claws in my lower intestine. I swear, you'd think the dog was a Springer Spaniel, not a Dalmatian.

Koyuki and Saku also climb back into their bed after washing the Gatorade off of them. The only reason I don't have to be sharing a bed with someone is because I drove all day yesterday. Sometimes a guy's gotta get special rights, you know? And thank the gods for that.

Only no special rights got me out of answering the door when someone knocked. I groan and slowly get up once again. Sublime stares at me from under hooded eyes before padding over to the door anxiously. I follow her just as the person on the other side knocks again. It's just Ryusuke I'll bet. Or it could be Chiba. Yep. Ten bucks says its Chiba here to looking for food.

I grab Sublime's blue collar and hold her in case it really is Chiba. I have an uncanny feeling that at the next opportunity those two are going to engage in mortal combat.

Undoing the lock on the door I swing it open…

And Rylie's standing there with a leash in her hand. Her eyebrows go up on her forehead and she blushes lightly. She's staring at me rather intently.

I look down at myself; black boxers, but otherwise going commando. Nice.

Stuttering nonsensical nonsense at my predicament my grip on Sublime's collar loosens.

Without warning the Dalmatian rips herself out of my pathetic grasp and darts off like a freight train down the hallway.

Shit.

* * *

**A.N.:** When I typed all of their tour dates into Google Maps I swear that's what the route looked like. Call me crazy but…hehe.

And I swear that Sublime is instrumental in moving the plot forward! *shifty eyes* Okay, okay, you guys got me! I just wanted to make more trouble for dear Taira. As if he doesn't have enough to worry about, heh. Plus, writing the Dalmatian scenes was easy and fun, so at least this story got updated!

I might just be getting some inspiration for this fic back. Amazing, isn't it?

I hope some of you guys will review, because really, if it hadn't been for **Itsuka Yamazaki** and **JesseB954** this story probably would have been abandoned. So yeah…**HAPPY REVIEWING**!

~Reiki


	14. Indecent Exposure

**A.N.:** Okay this chapter is dedicated to the lovely **Itsuka** who has made the most amazing piece of fanart I could have ever asked for. It's a picture of darling Taira and Rylie, smiling like the sillies they really are! It can be found at this link: http:/ kawaii-sasuke . deviantart . com / art / GFH-Summer-Laughs-178254355?q=&qo= just take the spaces out and you'll hopefully be fine! Fanfiction doesn't allow links to show up in stories, but I'll post the same link in my profile without the spaces to simply be copied and pasted into your browser, okay? I really hope everyone will check out this wonderful piece of art, as it truly blew me away! **SO GO FAN THE AMAZING ITSUKA!**

Also, thank you **Juno** and **JesseB954** for your reviews! I love the fact that there are still people reading this story! It's so encouraging!

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and later scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

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**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 14 – Indecent Exposure

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After watching the dog tear down the hallway Taira and I exchange looks of absolute horror. Without the need to explain in words we mutually take off after the Dalmatian.

I'll admit, when Taira opened the door in nothing but his boxers I was a little, erm, surprised. The look on his face told me he wasn't expecting me at all. But hey, it wasn't like I could've called ahead to make a freakin' reservation with him or anything. The hotel charged double the rate of a regular phone company and we're tight on money as it is.

So, here we are. Running side by side down a hallway. At breakneck speed. After a dog. In a hotel. A hotel that doesn't allow dogs. One of us is half-naked. The other one can't keep her eyes off him. And yes, I did just refer to myself in the third person.

That pretty much sums up our situation.

"Taira, watch out!" I scream as a door along the never-ending hallway opens and out steps a middle-aged man dressed in a suit and carmine tie. He's holding in his hand a full red-ish coloured margarita that matches his tie and why he's drinking at this time in the morning I can't possibly fathom.

Taira turns to me with a confused expression. I tell him to watch out and he looks at _me_? Oi.

"Holy hell," I say as Taira smacks into the man, knocking both of them to the ground. The margarita, completely forgotten by the toppled man, sails through the air. Three guesses who the red drink lands on and the first two don't count. Yeah. My white shirt holds the stain well. In fact, it holds it so well that I look as though I've murdered someone.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry," Taira apologizes frantically as he scrambles to stand up. The man's opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water and I realize with a sinking sensation that the lime that went on the rim of his glass had also gone down the front of my tank top. Thanks to the wet liquid, you could see the lime sitting there between my tatas in all its glory. I thrust a hand down my shirt and retrieve the lime, flinging it across the hall where it sticks to a wall. At least those two guys were no longer staring at my boobs now.

Taira's up like a flash, cheeks tinged red in embarrassment as he tries to straighten his boxers. They slid a little south when he crashed. And yes, I did notice which means that again, yes, I've been staring at his ass. Shamelessly. So sue me. Actually, don't, the band's almost broke right now. I believe I've, mentioned that?

"Sublime's getting away!" I yell as I see the dog at the end of the hallway. She had stopped to watch the action with a doggy smirk on her face, but now that Taira is up and looking in her direction she's off at a run again. I pursue her, not checking to see if Taira's even following at this point. "I fed you beef jerky you ungrateful mutt!"

Sure enough, as I glance over my shoulder behind me, Taira's there staring at me as if I'd grown two heads. "What?" I ask irritably. He shakes his head, 'nothing', and we continue on our quest to track down the wrongdoer. The man we leave in the dust and also in a heap on the ground with an empty margarita glass shouts after us, something along the lines of 'foreigners' and 'cow-dogs', whatever that meant.

My wet shirt is flapping uncomfortably against me as we round the bend in the road…coming face to face with a closed elevator. What the hell? Where did she go?

Taira and I exchange knowing glances. The dog's in the elevator going to an unknown floor of the hotel. Key word there being _unknown. _

"Shit," we swear in unison. I'm so glad he's reading my mind right now.

He pounds on the down key, trying to get the elevator to open up. The elevator, however, has other ideas and simply flashes a green waiting light. So we wait. And we wait some more. And, above all, I think it's safe to say we're worried. And embarrassed.

Yeah, mostly embarrassed.

The elevator rumbles and opens its doors with a click. I scramble to get inside, Taira hot on my heels. "Which floor?" I ask as my finger hesitates to push any of the buttons.

He's biting his lip in thought as he looks at all the buttons. For a crappy hotel it sure had a lot of floors. It's hard to believe they were all full of people. Just our luck.

My finger hovers over the buttons, waiting for his answer. The door swings closed as we try to think like angry bitches. Really, only I can achieve that. If I were a dog, which button would I press?

"Okay, we're going to try number two first," I say, since that's the floor directly below us. I push the button and the elevator roars to life, bringing us down in a few seconds. We still don't look at each other as the instant passes in silence. Out of my peripheral I can see he's still red in the face and, feeling the heat of the moment, I realize I am too. Ugh.

The door opens and the chubby lady waiting for the elevator on the other side stares at us wide-eyed. She doesn't know whether to look at the semi-nakedness of Taira or me, the girl who could just possibly be drunk considering I have alcohol spilt all down my midsection. The breakfast try she's holding shakily in her hands clatters to the floor spilling forth a glass of what could be apple juice, an apple and a bagel that rolls on top of Taira's foot. He peaks out the side of the elevator and looks down the hall in both directions while us women exchange appalled glances. At least I'll never see her again. And at least she doesn't have a camera.

"She's not on this floor," Taira reports stiffly as he sticks his head back inside the elevator and pushes a button randomly. The door closes and I see the woman's last look is a peculiar one, which only makes sense in this situation.

I turn to see what button Taira pressed. Floor fourteen. Oh god, it's going to take us forever to get to the top of the hotel. I scan the other floors' buttons and realize that there's no floor thirteen. This strikes me as odd; can you talk about superstitious? Wow, floors one to twelve and fourteen. 'Cause that makes perfect sense.

"Rylie, I'm really sorry about crashing into that guy and starting that chain reaction," he rambles all in one breath. His hands are going everywhere a mile a minute as well, I notice. So he speaks with his hands when he's flustered, that's interesting and kind of funny. Not to mention cute.

But, I frown; this is not the time to be apologizing. "It's not even your fault! Well, okay, it is kind of your fault but who drinks a margarita at seven in the morning?"

He laughs heartily now, shaking his head as he watches the numbers flit by on the screen inside the elevator. We've only made it to the fourth floor. Why is this elevator so damn slow? We should have taken the stairs!

"Rylie," he starts again once he stops laughing. "How the hell did you know what that guy was drinking?"

"Because it's all over my shirt. I can _smell_ it," I grumble as I look down at myself. The newly see-through shirt reveals my beige bra; one that Chi picked out for me too so it's lacy and flowery. Ugh. And you can see the damn flowers clearly. I stare up at Taira, who's staring down at me. Wait why's he staring _down_?

"I can't believe you're looking at my boobs at a time like this!" I exclaim, punching his shoulder as hard as I can with one arm and covering myself with the other. His shoulder is like a rock (must be the muscles) and I regret it since my hand's now throbbing in pain. He doesn't flinch or say 'ouch', just gives me a mortified look.

"I-I, I was, u-uh, no i-it wasn't like, u-uh," he stutters as he looks away, trying to save his hide. I use his stuttering to blatantly gaze at him, committing his oh-so-perfect body in underwear to memory. 'Cause girls are visual too, wouldn't you know. Wow, I yelled at him for staring at me and now I'm staring at him…I'm a hypocrite. Aw, well, what can you do?

_Ding_!

We both jump out of the elevator as soon as the doors open. I look to the left and he looks to the right. If we weren't dressed (or not dressed in Taira's case) so ridiculously I would have thought this to be like a super agent movie scene or something. We're back to back, now all we need are the guns and fancy spy gear. Yeah, and it would help to get Taira a suit or _something_ to wear.

I smile at the young couple with two kids hanging off of their arms in my direction. They're open-mouthed, the whole family, which makes me gush inside at how close they must all be. I want a family like that, some day.

"Lucky number thirteen!"

I spin on my heel at Taira's outburst. He's off like a bat out of hell down the hall and over his head in the distance I can see our dearest Sublime's tail as she disappears around a corner. As I run after him I pass an older woman who's desperately trying to ward off Satan, thanks to Taira's little phrase. Wow, I had no idea some Americans were so superstitious.

Taira slows down to round the corner and I catch up, trying not to run him down like he did that man earlier.

"Oh no," I mutter as I glimpse the open staircase, the Dalmatian taking the steps two at a time with Taira hot on her…paws? Yes, paws. Taira's bare feet smack the flooring as he takes the steps _one_ at a time.

I dart into the small space. The steps are made of metal and the walls are concrete. Inside its cold and everything had been painted white at one point. Now all the paint has more or less flaked off with age.

Taira's whipping past stairwell after stairwell, me panting right after him and hanging onto the railing that extends down the side of the building. It looks like the dog is two staircases below us right now, her claws clicking on the metal stairs. We pass many doors labelled, ten, nine, eight, seven and so forth until the dog skitters to a halt at the very bottom. The ground floor. There's two doors, one for the lobby and one for what I'll presume is outside. Both of which are thankfully closed.

The dog spins in circles, trying to find a place to run no doubt, as we humans descend like vultures on road kill. Sublime knows there is really no escape, but from the way her eyes flash dangerously I know she's no going to give up without a fight.

"Watch it, she might bite you!" I shout as Taira shuffles forward in a defensive stance. The dog lowers herself to the ground, ears perking up as she hears the panic in my voice. "You know what, maybe I'll go back and get some food," I tell Taira who looks over his shoulder at me with an incredulous expression plastered on his tan face.

I choose to ignore his disbelief. "Right, you'd like some food wouldn't you puppy?" I coo in my best baby voice. Slowly the Dalmatian wags her tail and straightens up her posture. Haha, she's falling for it!

Until this moment I'd forgotten that I'm holding her leash in my hands. The one Ryusuke bought yesterday is dangling between my hands. I hold it up in a new light, taking the metal clasp in my fingers as I bypass Taira and creep up to the Dalmatian. "Come 'ere, you silly dog! Would you like some kibbles? Doggy bones? Pork chops? Steak? Chicken?"

I'm rambling lies but the dog seems to recognize these words and takes a tentative step in my direction. She's watching my face and either doesn't notice the leash in my hands or doesn't care. Either way, I'm almost upon her.

The outside door opens and in walks the hotel clergy. I glance behind me to see Taira's mouth fly open in dismay and when I look back I see Sublime's back end disappear through the doorway. Damn. DAMN!

"There's no pets allowed in this hotel!" The woman shrieks, her Southern accent garbled and heavy in her haste. I push past her as Taira apologizes a million and one times. He's right behind me though, letting the door slam on his way out. I don't bother saying anything about how we don't have a key to get back inside since that is, at the moment, the least of our problems.

Sublime's slowing down and glancing behind her, probably tempted by my offerings of pork and steak, but she still runs on, darting around the corner and through some bushes. Good grief, when is she going to stop?

Overtaking me Taira gallops – or should I say streaks? – into a long stretch of bushes, the branches and brambles scratching up his previously unmarred skin. I dart through the bushes after him upon seeing him emerging on the other side. I'm nearly through too when an obtuse branch holds me fast against a thick tree. I reach a hand around and tug at it, but it only serves to make it tangle further into the fabric of my tank top. It feels as though it somehow pierced through the fabric, since its pine needles are scratching my back painfully. Argh, it's a healthy tree too so it's not about to snap in half!

"Agh!" I screech in frustration. Glancing back at me Taira has to do a double take before he figures out I'm not exactly moving forward. He turns around and rushes back to my side, his face morose.

Oh lord, I'm so hopelessly stuck on this thing that I can't move and it's hurting me! The industrial strength fabric isn't budging either. I was hoping it'd rip and I would be free but to no avail.

"What should I do?" Taira asks in a panic upon seeing that I'm not moving in the slightest from this awkward position. Behind him I see the dog heading for the hills.

"Taira, Sublime's getting away!" I scream. We've gotten this far, there's no way I'm about to fail now. "Get the dog!"

"What about you?" He yells back, gesturing to all of me with a crazy flailing limb. Yep, definitely uses his hands to talk when he's flustered.

I groan, watching the dog become a black and white speck in the distance. No way in hell. That dog is _not_ getting away after all that money we spent on it. Plus, she made my band mates happy and co-operative with Beck, which hasn't happened before now. Yet Taira isn't budging an inch.

"Shield your eyes Taira! I'm about to do the nasty!" I shout at him as I duck in place and peel my shirt off over my head. He didn't turn away like a respectful fellow, because as soon as the shirt pops off my head I see him standing there red as tomato. Though he makes a sexy fruit, that I will admit, I won't tolerate him taking off my bra with his eyes. "Taira! Turn away!"

He finally obliges with a stuttered comment I don't catch. I turn around and yank my shirt off the tree, or at least I try. It's not ripping and now I see why; somehow the branches are _tied _together. One branch came up through the bottom and another came down through the neckline to make a lovely little mess. My god, how does this shit happen?

I press my hands in front of my very private area and mentally repeat to myself that I'm just wearing a bathing suit. Yes, a bikini. And Taira's in board/surfer dude shorts, whatever they call them in America. We're going to the beach, which will be our alibi when someone asks why we're streaking across their lawn. We're just chasing our dumb dog right now. Yep, perfect alibi. We really should be special agents or something.

Though, speaking of agents, I can't believe we haven't happened upon a police officer yet. I'm sure if they caught sight of us we'd be charged for indecent exposure.

"Eeeiikk!" Someone screeches, the high-pitched frequency decimating my ear drums.

I catch sight of our dearest Dalmatian tackling some poor girl our age to the ground. The dog's mauling her for crying out loud, tail wagging menacingly and everything.

"Holy shit!" I say as we book it to the scene of the crime. The girl's holding a fast food burger in her hand and the dog's trying to get to it. Somehow the blonde girl wrapped her hand around Sublime's collar, keeping the mutt from eating her food. If I weren't in so much of a panic right now I'd be immensely impressed.

I take the nylon blue leash and snap the clip onto a ring on Sublime's collar. I use all of my half-naked anger to haul the dog off the poor girl on the ground while Taira does damage control and apologizes while helping Blondie to her feet. I wrap the leash around my arm securely and scowl down at Sublime who cowers at my feet like, well, a very bad puppy.

"I am so, _so_ sorry!" Taira cries in garbled English as the girl stares at the sight before her in confusion. She looks at me and my flowery bra holding back the animal that mangled her for her hamburger and then back to the debatably sexy man in front of her. She's all for staring at Taira, just so you know. Who cares about me or the mutt? We're not her type.

"No, no, it's okay," the girl reassures, her pearly white teeth gleaming as she smiles at Taira. "Your dog was probably just hungry. I have a Bullmastiff, and they're always hungry. What's your dog's name?" She asks Taira, ignoring me holding said dog completely.

"Uh, Sublime," Taira replies, glancing over at me with a blank expression.

"Oooh, after the band from Long Beach, California, right?" The girl asks. "Are you a fan? I'm a fan."

Oh hell, I so know where this is going. Taira answers the girl with two short yes's, not at all catching on to what's happening here. But, being a woman I know some tricks of the trade. And I'm not about to be beaten at this game by some Southern chick in a cowboy hat.

"So, um, any particular reason you're running around in your…" the girl trails off, unwilling to say the word boxers. We don't need her to either, as it's pretty obvious with her shameless ogling of Taira what she's talking about. Wait, shameless ogling? That's my job, thanks! I saw him first, damn Blondie.

I wrap arm around Taira's waist and lean into him, grinning like a wildcat. I can feel him stiffen but I don't pull away, instead I smile sweetly at the blonde girl before us. She looks back at me with utter contempt for my existence in her eyes.

"Well, you see, my _boyfriend,_" I stretch the word in my seldom used English, making sure she hears it the first time, "and _I _are going to the beach today. Our dog's not very well-trained yet, she used to be a stray! Can you believe that? She's such an adorable dog." Lies. All of them. Hehehe.

The girl's face contorts in shock as she stares between us with a mix between sceptical and horrified.

Taira looks down at me holding him close, shocked and red in the face. I don't even call him on staring at my boobs at this point since it's making Blondie over there insanely jealous.

"Oh. Okay. Bye," she says to Taira more than to me, batting her eyelashes caked with mascara a couple bazillion times as she turns and stalks away in a huff. She's unnaturally swaying her denim clad ass, which makes me think she has a problem with her hips or something. I watch her leave, and, I'll admit it, I glare at her.

I release Taira from my hold and step away with Sublime trailing behind me. Hopefully I didn't make him too uncomfortable pulling the boyfriend move on him. Though, it was in English, so maybe he didn't even catch it. Oh, who am I kidding; he's learned the most English on this trip out of all the native Japanese musicians. He knows what I said.

"Um, Rylie– "

"Just getting rid of the witnesses, don't worry," I tell him as he scratches his head. I see him glance at his hand. What is he looking at? Huh.

"I just…well I was wondering if…" he's trying to spit something out but it's not going too well. I hold up a hand, stopping him from embarrassing himself further.

"Take a second to compose yourself," I say. "Meanwhile let's go back to the hotel 'cause I'm feeling a really uncomfortable draft." Yes, that was an indirect reference to my shirtless-ness.

He wordlessly nods and we troop back to the building. It's then that I remember we don't have a room key. Great. This means we're going through the front lobby. Right past check-in lady. With the dog. Unless one of us wants to stand outside half-naked. No. We're both going inside.

I take the lead with the dog, one hand across my chest and the other arm twirled around Sublime's leash. The dog trots along beside me at a near perfect heel, as if she hadn't just bolted from us minutes ago. Seriously, I'm beginning to think the dog has some personality issues, but I guess it doesn't really matter since everyone in either the Flux or Beck seems to have issues in general.

We enter the front lobby and, of course, Mrs. Southern Accent is right there behind the desk, fake plastic-enhanced breasts and all. The second she sees us her eyes bug out of her head so far that I think they're going to pop right out and land on the dirty ground at my feet. Her hair is frizzled too, maybe because we gave her such a hard time earlier.

"Excuse me, but that mangy mutt, is _not_ allowed on the premises!" She calls out haughtily. Taira opens him mouth, probably to smooth things over, but I beat him to it, in no mood to play games.

"Look lady, we're both leaving soon, never to return. With the dog," I put extra emphasise on that last phrase, though I think she just has more of a problem with us walking around naked than the dog at this point in time.

She opens and closes her mouth, trying to form words to combat us but I'm already walking past her in the direction of the stairs, dragging the dog past the continental breakfast station that's adjacent to the lobby. The stairs are closer than the elevator is at this point, plus there's less chance of running into more people.

"Just one minute young lady! I'm going to call security on you!" She shouts after us but it's too late. Taira and I are already at the base of the stairs.

"You go first," I tell him, gesturing to the stairwell; "This way you can warn me if there's anyone around. I don't want the dog going berserk again and jumping on people." Though I don't think Sublime's going to do much of anything at this point. She's been pretty docile.

No, the real reason I want him in front of me is because I want to shamelessly ogle him some more. As if I haven't enough already. Ah, me and my shameless ogling, we make such a good pair.

"Okay, good idea," he says shortly, starting up the staircase. Really we don't have far to walk to get from the first floor to the second floor where our rooms are. Still, any chance to see Taira in his boxers I'll take. Readily.

Oh! Hey, I never did ask him what he wanted to say outside after I more or less told off that blonde chick. "Hey Taira, what did you want to say earlier?" I giggle as I recall his stuttering, "Now would be a good time to say it."

We're at the top of the stairs and we enter into the thankfully vacant hallway. He had been avoiding looking at me, probably out of respect. One of the things I really like about this guy is his sense of honour.

Taira lifts his eyes to mine, "I just was going to ask you…if maybe you and I…um," he scratches his head. "Well, I just wanted to know if you'd consider–"

"Oh my god! Rylie, what happened!" Kim shouts as she runs up and Taira's face goes red enough to resemble a stop sign or a coke can. Chi is right on her butt, staring at us as if we're aliens. Gee, this must look terrible since Taira and I are missing some vital pieces of clothing. Kim crooks an eyebrow, looks between us, then down at the dog shrinking away from her loud voice. "Koyuki and Saku said you two had to chase the dog!"

"Yeah, it was horrible," I complain, arm still across my womanly bits. In the distance I can see the other members of Beck and plus Ritsu coming forward towards us from our rooms at the other end of the hall. That's the last thing I need right now as half-naked as I am. Little boys like Saku and Koyuki don't need to see my junk, thank you very much!

"Get me a shirt, a sweater, a sheet, I don't care, just get me something to wear!" I scream at Chi who looks at me curiously and pulls out a pad of paper from her denim miniskirt's pocket. She whips out a pen from another pocket, flicks the cap off and begins to write.

"Wow, that kind of rhymed! Just a sec Ry, I have to write that down, it's good song material," Chi tells me as I wriggle with my hands over my chest, vainly trying to cover myself. I regret forcing all of my girls to carry around those stupid little pads in hopes of getting ideas written down on the go.

"It doesn't rhyme you blonde bimbo!" Kim shrieks, ripping her sweater off and covering me in it. Like a true friend she's giving me the clothes off her back. If I weren't so flustered I'd be crying tears of thanks right about now.

I zip up the hoodie just as the others approach.

"Are you two okay?" Ryusuke asks with a snicker. He smirks at Taira who glares back at him. They seem to be doing that thing I've seen guys do; communicate using only their eyes and body language. Wow, I don't understand men. "Koyuki and Saku said you two went after Sublime but…" he trails off as he looks between us, "Look, if you two wanted some time alone together all you had to do was ask."

"No!" We cry in unison, which probably looks pretty bad considering we're all in sync like a couple or something.

"It wasn't like that at all," I try to explain.

Taira jumps in with, "Yeah, the dog got loose because I wasn't holding on to her when I opened the door this morning. It was just fate that it was Rylie on the other side!" Saku and Koyuki nod their head but I can tell that Chiba and Ryusuke like their other theory much better. They exchange looks and I just know they're going to assault Taira with questions the minute they get back to their shared rooms.

"We have to clear out right now though, the lady at the check-in desk threatened to call security on us," I tell everyone, Taira nodding his agreement. Upon hearing the conviction in my voice we all head in the direction of our rooms to gather our stuff and load up the van.

Once I'm safely inside my room that I'm sharing with Chi she shoves me up against a wall. Of course that sounds kind of sexual but no, not the case here.

"Rylie, what were you thinking!" she cries with tears brimming in her eyes, "I hope you used protection!"

I groan, "Chi, nothing happened. Seriously. Trust me, if something had happened between us you'd be the first to hear about it, okay?"

"Promise?" Her eyes sparkle as she holds out her pinkie finger to me.

I wrap my own pinkie around hers, "Promise. Now where's this girl's ranch you were talking about? Do you know how to get there?"

She claps her hands together joyously. "Oh! Yes. We're going to my friend Moi's place for the day. She said she has enough space for us to sleep there too, so it's not a problem. She has cows and cats and lambs and llamas and dogs and chickens and goats and horses and-"

"Okay, so she's a farmer then is what you're saying," I cut Chi off before she tries to list the entire animal kingdom on one hand. "Great. At least Sublime won't feel out of place."

Kim comes into the room, a duffel bag in her hand and a key card dangling between her lips, "Okay, Ritsu and I moved our stuff out to the van while you," she gestures to me, "were out with Taira and the dog. So we're almost all packed up already."

"Okay, who's driving?" I ask, since I must know whether I'm going to be the one behind the wheel or not. Kim smiles faintly; a small jerk of the lips is all it is really.

"I am. Chi's going to navigate us to this ranch so you can sit between Ritsu and Taira in the backseat if you want."

"Thanks, Kim." She's been semi-supportive of my budding relationship with Taira now that she's gotten used to the idea of having boys travel with us. Honestly, I think it's doing her some good. Maybe in another thousand years she might actually get a boyfriend.

We spend the next hour running things from the hotel down to the van, arranging everything just so, and praying that nothing will magically pop out of the back of the trailer to be hit by another car on the highway. Chi informs both bands of the plans, to which everyone is rather complacent about. I mean, according to Chi, free board and a warm bed? Hell yes.

Ryusuke sits up front with Kim and Chi as we climb into the van for what Chi says is going to be a really short one hour drive to the outskirts of Dallas. Saku, Koyuki and Chiba choose to sit in the middle and Ritsu, Taira and I sit in the back. Ritsu clamps a pair of headphones down on her ears the second we start moving, leaving me to converse with Taira, which at this point can be considered a blessing or a curse.

I don't really know how he feels about what happened earlier. I mean, I was freaking out when I had to strip off my shirt, but he was in nothing but his underwear the whole time. That had to be a little bit more…traumatizing.

Twenty minutes into the drive and Taira and I haven't said a word to each other even though there's enough chatter in the vehicle to not be heard if we talk quietly. The radio's on and I can hear Ritsu's metal music streaming through her earpieces. Hm, sounds like Iron Maiden… or maybe it's Metallica? I can't tell; all I can hear is the faint screeching of guitars and the pounding of the drums and bass.

I turn to take Taira in. He's twitching beside me with his hands folded neatly in his lap, eyes trained forward as if he's waiting for Kim to crash and kill us all. "Don't worry, Kim's a good driver despite her bizarre nature." I grasp one of his large hands in mine, in what I hope is a comforting way.

"Oh, um, yeah," he mumbles, looking down at our intertwined hands and then back up, searching my face for a sign of something. I don't know why he's suddenly staring at me as if I've come from another planet altogether. I mean, this morning was pretty embarrassing for the both of us, but…

Then I remembered, "Oh, hey, you wanted to ask me something, twice now actually. Just before Kim interrupted us."

His eyes widen and he turns to stare out the front. "Uh, well, I…" he shakes his head, blonde hair becoming delightfully mussed. I can't help it; I have a thing for shaggy haircuts.

"I don't think I can ask you here," he whispers, face leaning into mine. His warm breath tickles my ear. I debate forcing it out of him one way or another, because now he's REALLY piqued my interest, but I refrain when I see the hesitance in his eyes as he pulls back. I guess I'll just ask again later.

Maybe he wants to talk about what I said to that girl? Eek, what if he thought it was really rude of me and wants me to learn better manners? Wait that can't be it. That's stupid. Maybe he wants to talk to me about using his bass amp? Does he want me to buy my own amplifier? No, he's never mentioned it before and besides, he doesn't seem to mind. Maybe he wants to talk about Sublime…?

Oh great. This 'secret' is going to kill me until he finally spills the figurative beans.

"Who wants to listen to Howlin' Wolf?" Ryusuke asks from the front seat. He had been fiddling with the different radio stations for the past twenty minutes. Regardless of our answers he turns the radio's dial to pick up the blues channel on the FM transmitter. Sure enough, said blues player comes on loud and clear as a bell.

"_Oh, I asked her for water, she brought me gasoline.  
That's the troublingest woo-hoo woman, that I ever seen.  
The church bell tollin', the hearse come driving slow."_

Honestly, I can't listen to the blues right now while wondering what Taira wants to ask me. It's just too much. And I mean a hearse? Talk about a bad omen.

Why does my hand feel sweaty? Oh, ahh, right. I'm…holding hands with Taira. Oh crap, I wonder if he wants his hand back now? "Sorry!" I apologize, jolting my hand from his. "I had a bit of a mind-lapse there…" I finish that one off with a wheezy laugh. Wow, can you say idiot?

"No! It's fine. It was um, err, nice?" He obviously can't find the right word at the moment. He finalizes his thoughts in a stronger tone, "Yeah, nice."

Huh, so he thinks it's nice. He's awfully touchy-feely. Must be the curse of the bass player, especially one that plays using only their fingers, no picks.

I don't have much more time to ponder Taira's odd actions as of late since Kim rolls the van onto a dirt road. Chi announces, "We're almost there! It's just up ahead!"

I turn to Ritsu and poke her, mouthing the same words that just previously were spoken by Chi. Her inquisitive eyes try to read my lips, but in the end she shakes her head in a I-don't-know-what-the-hell-you're-trying-to-tell-me way. So much for the drums and the bass synchronizing perfectly.

The dust on the dirt road swirls around the van as we bump our way up the road. Hadn't Chi said we were almost there? We drive for another ten minutes, or maybe it's less. I'm just starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable wedged in next to Taira. I mean, thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder and hand in hand is a bit…_intimate_, right?

Oh god, I'm probably really freaking him out right now. And not in a good way.

The van comes to a lurching halt. Doors fly open and I climb out after everyone else. Being in the middle and the backseat means I'm the last one outside. When I step out into the sunshine and the dust clears…

I realize; we have arrived in hick town.

* * *

**A.N.:** Oh my, as if it isn't bad enough I made Taira more or less streak through a hotel and across someone's lawn I made Rylie go topless too? Haha, I hope you guys enjoyed that.

Once again, thanks to **Itsuka** our dear Rylie has a good-lookin' face now! She completely captured my character's personality with her fanart, so please, _please,_ check it out! Even if you're only a fan of Taira, he's got the sexiest smile in this pic, so you owe it to yourself to check out this piece of art! Have I persuaded you enough yet?

Oh, and if it isn't too much trouble, would you mind hitting the review button on your way out? 'Cause reviews make me super happy!

~Reiki


	15. All the King's Horses

**Author's Note**: Alright! Well, there's mention of the crocodile hunter Steve Irwin (RIP) in this chapter as well as crazed animals and the 27 Club, ohoho. Oh, and as a bit of a warning, I took a little bit of creative liberty with Taira's past in this chapter, using facts from the manga and embellishing them a bit. After all, Taira's pretty much a mystery guy from start to finish.

This chapter also 'goes back in time' so we get to see Taira's point of view a bit. I couldn't resist it!

The beautiful people who reviewed are: Itsuka, Gibson77, Jesse, Kuro-puuAndFaiLuvers and Brendon (who actually reviewed chapter 12, lol, but whatever, I love you too!)

**Special Note**: The amazing Itsuka has done it again! Check out her newest fanart of Taira and Rylie here: http:/ / kawaii-sasuke . deviantart . com /art/ GFH-Winter-Wash-180314699?q=&qo=

Just take out the spaces or visit my profile for a better link!

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 15 – All the King's Horses

* * *

"I knew it; you two got it on in a bush didn't you?" Chiba concludes, waggling his fingers and eyebrows in sync. Even his facial hair twitches accusingly in my direction.

"I told you a thousand times Chiba, nothing happened!" I defend, beginning to get slightly annoyed with him. He's been pestering me ever since the stint with Rylie and Sublime earlier. Only an hour had passed but in that small time frame he managed to piece together a fantasy about Rylie and I. Ludicrous. "We chased the dumb dog through the hotel and then some idiot woman opened the door and the dog got outside and started terrorizing this pedestrian." My long-winded explanation is met by a blank face from my best friend.

"Huh. That's a good lie even for you, Taira." Chiba sticks out his tongue, and I know he's thinking like a pervert. He only ever sticks his tongue out the right side of his mouth when he's thinking porno or beer. I've noticed these things you see. Of course, Chiba doesn't exactly keep his thoughts to himself either. The curse of being a best friend, ugh, is that I hear about each of his sexual exploits, or, more likely, his _lack_ of getting laid.

"Look, all I'm sayin' is that your undies were covered in twigs and from what I could see Rylie's hair was in similar condition. It's obvious you two were gettin' it on." He chortles loud and obnoxiously, slapping me on the back. "Man, why are you being such a pussy cat, she has all the goods up top and I bet she was a good lay!"

"Nothing happened!" I yell again, waving my arms wildly in the air for extra emphasise, pissed because it's the truth. But, I have to admit, seeing Rylie strip off her shirt almost made me lose it.

_You should have jumped on her when you had the chance._

I have enough problems with Chiba right now, I don't need you hanging around Ra.

_Hey! You remembered my self-appointed name! I'm proud. Seriously though, if you ever pass up a chance like that again I'm telling Brains to cut off your dick._

You're…in cahoots with my subconscious?

_At the risk of sounding like the Kol-Aid man; OOOHHH YEAH!_

I knew it. I'm going to die at the age of 27 aren't I? Then I'll go to heaven and hang out with Cobain, Hendrix, Jones and Janis. Not to mention Morrison.

_Oh please, they won't let you into the club._

"Hey Taira, I asked you a question," Ryusuke says, waving his arm in from of my face.

I snap out of the conversation with…myself.

_It's Ra, Tai. Ra. At least make an effort to KEEP remembering my name._

Shut up. Now. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I just asked if you were okay with Kim driving," Ryusuke repeats petulantly. "Chi's going to camp out beside the driver and I figured maybe you'd like to have a break…and maybe sit with Rylie in the backseat, hm?" He snickers at his own perverted implications. I, on the other hand, am overjoyed. Not exactly because I have a chance of sitting next to Rylie for a bit (which is great too) but because I don't have to drive. Can life get any sweeter than this?

"Yes!" I shout a little too enthusiastically. "It's fine! But, um, where exactly is Chi taking us again?"

Saku appears by my side, stealthily enough that he could have been practicing his ninja moves again. He had a thing for ninjas not too long ago while we were still back in Japan. I have a suspicion that it had something to do with that TV show _Naruto_. "Well, apparently it's a family farm her friend owns. I think it's going to be fun though, don't you Koyuki?"

The kid in question nods his head vigorously. "Yeah! It'll be a good way to spend our day off I think. I wonder what Chi's friend is like? Maybe she's really nice." He smiles his dopy innocent smile, giving me cause to believe Maho hasn't exactly pounced on his ass yet.

"Maybe she's hot," both Ryusuke and Chiba muse in unison. They glare at each other, being the competitive perverts that they most certainly are. I just sigh as I pack the rest of my things into a duffel bag, ready to throw in the van. Really, I'm sure everyone is packed except me. Faintly I wonder if they'd leave me behind by accident. No, they'd notice their driver missing. If I didn't drive them around everywhere and was just the bass player I'm sure they'd forget. But no, not the driver.

"'Kay, let's just get down there before the girls leave without us," I mumble, shouldering the pack and heading out the door. The younger kids follow me diligently, but Chiba and Ryusuke are too busy arguing in the room about who had rights to hit on Chi's friend to even notice I'd spoken. The world of flirting is a devoutly passionate place.

The Flux are already down by the van, arranging everything in the u-haul just so. I think they're paranoid that something's going to break and it's going to happen while we're on the highway or something. Somewhere we can't stop and collect whatever decided to malfunction. Really, we haven't had any issues yet with things flying out the rear end of our vehicle, but one can never be too cautious I suppose.

It takes us longer than it should have to load up and Rylie hasn't really spoken to me at all. It hurts, you know, being ignored. Not that she's trying to ignore me on purpose or anything. I think I would know if she were giving me the silent treatment. And besides, she's not mad at me or anything. Right?

_You're starting to sound like a love sick puppy._

I know Ra. It's pretty bad isn't it?

_Hm, worse than bad. You really ought to ask her out already._

Don't you think I've tried that? Numerous times?

_Oh, yeah, right, I was there. Duh._

I roll my eyes at myself, not that it makes sense to do so. I mean, how can a person roll their eyes and then see it? Okay, you know what, now I'm just confusing myself. I'm going to stop cold turkey.

_Damn right._

"Okay, all aboard the shitty van express!" Ryusuke calls as he's flanked on either side by Kim and Chi. He probably thinks he's got one helluva chance scoring with at least one of those two. At least he's not sitting in between them, or else he'd be flirting with them both simultaneously. And don't we know distracted drivers are dangerous on the road?

I climb in after Ritsu and Rylie. The doors slam shut and before I know it we're on the road. Aren't we always on the road? It sure feels like it to me.

Turning towards Rylie I can see Ritsu staring out the window with her bulky headphones squishing her petite ears in. Judging by the audio flying out the sides of the phones she's listening to metal. Hmm, so I guess I won't be saying a word to her. My only other option; Rylie. I don't know if I should be happy or nervous as hell. I'm thinking a mixture of the two might work in my favour.

"It's going to be about a one hour drive," I hear Chi telling Ryusuke in the front seat. Hm, so I have an hour to work up the nerve to talk to Rylie after a potentially traumatic incident for the both of us. I think I may just be able to do this.

Twenty minutes later, I'm not as confident. I mean, everyone's nattering away so it's not like our conversation (if we ever have one) will be heard but… Man, she's been staring straight ahead. Then again, that's where I'm staring too. I'm a little afraid to turn to look at her, lest my eyes get distracted by her low-cut top. It was bad enough I was caught for doing that in the elevator but the van too? She'll think I'm a total pervert.

_Which you more or less are, so what does it matter?_

It does matter Ra!

_Stop twitching. You're making me car-sick. _

I can't help it; I'm nervous.

_I thought I raised you better than this. Take action!_

"Don't worry, Kim's a good driver despite her bizarre nature," Rylie says, jolting me from my trance. Though it's not her words that get me here; no, it's the solid fact that she's gone and slipped her hand into mine. It's small and warm and, well, what else can one say about a hand? But dammit, now I'm really confused! Not to mention hot and bothered…

"Oh, um, yeah," I mumble, sounding like the world's biggest incoherent idiot. I stare at her smiling face dumbly, trying in vain to see what the hell she means by this…hand-holding routine. I'm assuming platonic but…

_Never assume platonic dumbass. She's hitting on you, I can feel it in our –_

I'm going to stop you right there before you say something too embarrassing.

_What, I think you can feel all the blood rushing to our face…and our chest and down to –_

Okay, stop! That's far enough! These pants are tight enough as it is without you putting ideas in my –

_Nether regions giving you problems?_

I was going to say 'head', thanks!

"Oh, hey, you wanted to ask me something, twice now actually. Just before Kim interrupted us." Rylie's thumb graces over the back of my hand subconsciously as she stares up at me. I think I'd be able to stare into her brown doey eyes all day if I had –

_Yo Tai. She asked you a question. Remember the little window of opportunity?_

"Uh, well, I…" Shit, screw the window, I think I need something a little bigger, like, say, a _door_!

I toss the hair out of my eyes, evidence of not being able to get a haircut in months. "I don't think I can ask you here," I whisper back, leaning in to make sure that only _she_ hears it. The last thing I need is for Saku or Koyuki to ask what's on my mind.

She frowns pensively, leaning away from me towards Ritsu. My body temperature has since heated up and I'm getting clammy hands. Well, shit. Stupid sweat glands, I hate you! Tell them to stop Ra!

And, of course, there's no answer from my subconscious mind. Man, I've lost it. I've really, _really, _gone off my rocker.

"Who wants to listen to Howlin' Wolf?" Ryusuke calls from the front seat. From this angle I can see his arm draped across the back of the front seat. Suspiciously right over Chi's shoulders. That player.

Said man-whore jacks up the radio, and Wolf comes howling into my ears. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to listen to it before I go completely loco.

"Sorry!"

Huh? No! She just took her hand back! Argh, and I was _this_ close to saying something! Quick, operation get-Rylie's-hand-back commence! "No! It's fine. It was um, err, nice?" She looks at me oddly, "Yeah, nice." I hope that sounds more confident. I don't want to come across as half-assed. Take my hand back, please?

We hit a pothole and the seatbelt clamp digs into my butt as I land on top of it. Ugh, dirt roads. After being in the heart of Dallas I didn't think I'd ever see a dirt road.

"We're almost there! It's just up ahead!" That sounds like Chi's voice but I can't really tell over the rumble of the gravel.

I'm about to comment to Rylie when she turns to the opposite side and pokes Ritsu in the shoulder with the tip of her index finger. They seem to be having another wordless conversation. I sigh; it's just another lost chance to add to the books. I believe I have several volumes now.

Just up ahead soon turns into ten minutes of pothole torture in which the side of my head bashes against the van window repeatedly and my right butt cheek is brutally tortured with the seat belt. The seat belt has also locked up due to all the jolting the van's doing, simulating a crash. It's slowly choking off my already limited air supply.

This is why I spring from the van the second it stops, out into the swirling haze of dust, Rylie momentarily forgotten. The sun's radiance pelts my backside and I cough as my lungs fill up with debris. I continue hacking wildly and I swear I can feel my lung coming up, something that should be physically impossible. Okay, I'll admit it: sore butt/head/lungs + Taira = drama queen.

_Get a grip. Follow Chiba out of the dust storm!_

Easy for you to say Ra. You're not the one navigating this life!

Regardless I pursue Chiba's retreating back out of the smog-like particles floating around. Just as the dust starts to clear however he stops cold, causing me in turn to smash into him. I think I might've accidentally grabbed his ass too, but right now that's the least of our problems.

"Holy shit," Chiba and I mumble as we cower in front of one of the biggest fucking animals I've ever seen. Or rather I cower behind Chiba, hoping to use him as padding if the thing in front of us blowing hot air out of its nostrils charges. It's got these two long nasty looking horns sprouting from its brain that, at second glance, look as though they could go right through Chiba _and_ me at the same time. So much for padding.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see the rest of our entourage staring at Chiba and I as we're about to be pig-sticked. Koyuki and Saku look especially terrified for our lives. Ryusuke, he's not even looking any more. No, he's caught sight of some brunette in cowboy boots strutting towards us. I think he's decided what's more important in this situation. Damn.

Meanwhile, my life is flashing before my eyes as the bull comes trotting up to us. Chiba instinctively reaches out and catches the center of the bull's head before it can ram us. The oversized cow stops its walk of death, huffs a breath, and…

…Then licks Chiba's hand, the slobber dripping off and plopping audibly onto the dusty ground. Gnarly.

"Oh don't worry he's friendly! Just stay there!" Someone calls from across the way. I tear my eyes from the bull trying to devour Chiba's hand to the brunette in the snazzy boots and denim waving at us.

Chiba didn't hear the girl. Or at least that's what I tell myself when he takes off running, the bull hot on his heels, horns down. Across the yard they go, fast as racehorses, Chiba's orange shirt like a guiding light in a storm. And here I thought bulls only went after the colour red. Apparently this could be myth.

"No, no, no, don't run! He'll trample you!"

But by now with the bull's bulky form nearly crawling up his back Chiba's not about to stop. No, I'm sure I wouldn't either. In fact, I'd probably do what he's doing right now; vaulting over the nearest fence into a goat enclosure.

The bull pulls up short of the fence, snorting in annoyance, the ring between his nostrils coated in slimy green boogers. He isn't made for jumping obviously.

The brunette strides over to the bull, either making an obvious point not to run or an obvious point that she's got more balls than Chiba, I'm not too sure. I'm leaning towards the bravery though. Especially when she grabs a generous portion of skin and fur, tugging the bull in a different direction, away from us I note with glee.

I edgily walk back over to the others, our expressions all matching looks of bewilderment as the previously rampant monster obediently trots after the much smaller girl as if on a tether. Right into the barn. Oh, wow. Chiba's probably lost a lot of his pride today. Maybe even more than me and the underwear incident. Naw, no way. I'm the top dog in the 'pride-lost' department.

All I can say after that episode is thank goodness Rylie was holding onto Sublime's collar. Oh, and that Chiba didn't get hurt, I suppose that's good too.

Speaking of Chiba, he's scrambling back over the goat fence, tiny little heads of horns looking up at him in amusement. It's a good thing the goats didn't decide to eat the bush on his head. I can tell they were thinking about it. Perhaps they're plotting to nab him later. Their black beady eyes don't look particularly trustworthy.

"Are you okay Chiba?" Koyuki asks in concern, making a face as he sees the drooled on hands. The film looks biohazardous, little bits of chewed grass sticking to his skin.

Cowgirl is back before Chiba has a chance to reply.

"I am really sorry 'bout that! Y'all must'a been freaky-queaky," the girl says, whipping off a brown sash that'd been tied to her belt and rubbing Chiba's hands with it. "'E's a slobbery one, that Nooki. Don' likea a running meal. Maybe ya hair got a little something-something ta do with tha!" She laughs as she tugs the sash back and whacks Chiba upside the head with it. His unruly afro takes the brute of the hit.

Her English is quite…interesting. Judging from the vacant stares on more than half of the musicians' faces they understood even less than I did (save for Ryusuke and Rylie). Chiba, he's silently seething, I can see it in his eyes. Nobody has the right to flatten his 'fro.

"You have quite the Texan accent," Ryusuke observes as the cowgirl giggles. Everyone please ignore the man who's stating the obvious.

"Guys this is my friend Moi!" Chi points to us, "Moi, my friends here are all Japanese like you and me, so no need to try struttin' your funny English."

The girl makes a relieved face. "Oh good! I can speak better Japanese anyway," she says in…perfect Japanese. Wow I just learned this chick's name and already I'm thinking she's lost a few marbles along the way. "Oh, this is going to be great! Chi phoned to tell me you guys would help me out tomorrow. Our hired help left recently since one of the llamas ate his fingers so everything's in a bit of a disarray. I'm glad you all are here!"

We give her more empty stares. _What?_

Chi laughs nervously off to the side of our party. "Um, well, I offered us up for some manual labour in exchange for food and board."

Ah. The cat's out of the bag now.

"What?" Ritsu squeaks, "You…you're not serious? Right!"

"Com'on, farmhouse is this way! We'll get you settled in the bunks now and hopefully by then Grandma'll be done cookin' the food," the girl says, walking away with a bit of a swagger in her step. We gawk after her until Chi follows, skipping giddily.

Without a better choice we all trail behind, staggering and looking wide-eyed as deer in headlights around the perimeter for any more crazed animals.

As if on cue I hear Chiba mutter to himself, "That _thing_ was going to eat me." Saku also overhears him, and sends a sympathetic look Chiba's way.

Sublime whines and tugs harshly in the direction of the farmhouse. Rylie hands her off to me without a word; just presses the leash into my hands demurely. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be one hell of a gig?

* * *

"KIMCHIMOI!" the old woman shouts, enraged at the state her kitchen is in. Promptly she grabs the item nearest to her, which happens to be an old straw broom, and goes on the attack. She flits this way and that, thumping her weapon against the kitchen surfaces as she misses her targets. Kim, Chi and Moi retreat with howls of laughter joining the rest of our tired troupe in the living room to watch the Discovery Channel.

After eating dinner prepared by the boisterous little woman everyone affectionately called 'Grandma', Chi and Moi had decided to make popcorn. The first batch burned and set off the fire alarm. Once they got that under control the second batch was made by Kim, who ended up hitting it off with Moi and…forgot about the popcorn.

So, the second batch burned as well.

Fast forward to now – Grandma's ripping the fire alarm out of the wall and chasing people with a bludgeon stick. I'm pretty sure she's going to regret that later when her old back seizes up. Then again, she could stand to lose some weight, so perhaps this energetic activity is doing her some good.

Moi sits down on the couch beside me, addressing everyone, "The farm used to be a logging site so this house has a lot of rooms and random beds scattered throughout it. Just find one and drop yourself there whenever you get tired."

We settle around the T.V., just enjoying each others' company. Koyuki and Saku start chatting about some kind of comedy movie nobody else had ever heard of and Ryusuke jacks up the volume on the T.V. with a push of a button on the remote. Who gave him the remote anyways? Now the Steve Irwin's Crocodile Hunter re-run is blaring. Nobody cares though, which is one of the finer points in relaxation. Even Sublime is lying at Rylie's feet like the prefect lapdog. Oh but I know better than to fall for her false obedience.

"_Oh yikes, look at this croc! Look at his teeth and the way his head-_"

"So, Taira right?" Moi shoulders into me, taking my focus off of Steve Irwin as he handles some wild crocodile. I nod, taking in her bright eyes and long poker straight black hair. Her oval face and slightly slanted eyes says to me that she's probably a lot more Japanese than I think. And, I'll admit it, she's pretty.

_Yeah, pretty hot._

Fine. But she's got nothing on Rylie.

_Sounds like you're hung up on one person. Do us all a favour and branch out a bit._

"So, you're the bass player for Beck, right?" She asks, leaning into me further so I'm squished up against her. I can't help but scoot away a little bit, uncomfortable. Of course Chiba's acting like a rock on the other side of me, completely unyielding. Who knew he'd get so absorbed in watching a man pick up snakes and other reptiles?

"Yeah, I am," I reply frankly.

She scoots in even _closer_, breath near my ear, "I like bass players. There's just something so hot about the way their fingers can move so gracefully across the strings."

_Oh shit man, she's hitting on you! Quick, think of something good to say back! _

"Err, yeah, right. Um," my eyes sweep across the room and land on Rylie, staring at the television screen. "Rylie over there's a bassist as well."

_You idiot! That was NOT what I meant! _

She's not hitting on me though!

_She was! You're just in denial! _

"That's nice," she says, looking over at Rylie briefly with a frown. "But, I'm more into hanging out with a guy, if you know what I mean."

_I swear, if you DON'T know what she means, you really are an idiot._

Oh crap, what do I do?

_Ugh, flirt with her already! I swear being attached to an asexual dude sucks. You don't know what it's like!_

I think fast. "Um, I'm kind of not really available," I confess stupidly.

_What! You did not just blow her off! Tai, how could you, you asexual buffoon!_

A look of realization crosses Moi, "Oh! You have a girlfriend already. I'm sorry."

"Oh, no, I don't have a girlfriend."

She gives me an intent look of confusion but suddenly she smiles kindly. "Aw man, you're gay aren't you? I knew it; all the really hot guys end up gay. It's not fair."

"N-no, I'm not gay! It's just…" Moi continues to stare at me curiously as I search my brain for a good answer to get me out of this sticky situation. My eyes also rove the room as I think and zero in on Rylie (naturally), like planets drawn to revolve around the sun. It isn't hard for Moi to follow my pointed gaze and figure me out. At times I can be a pretty obvious guy.

She leans in again to whisper, hair tickling my face, "Oh, I get it now. You have a thing for her, don't you?"

At the risk of digging myself a grave and hopping into it, I spill out the truth with a simple, "Yes." Well, that's that. I've sealed my fate now.

Instead of pressing me further like I had expected, Moi turns back towards the television, effectively tuning me out.

"_Crikey, this crocodile looks like he's about to mate with that female over-"_

Lo and behold graphic images of reptiles getting it on. Why are we watching this again?

_Honestly, even the crocodiles are getting some. _

Oh shut up you! And stop trying to make my brain undress Rylie with my eyes. It's getting REALLY distracting. Just because her white shirt is slightly see-through –

_Yeah well, Brains was all for it if you must know. With the lack of action around here we figured that we might as well try to initiate something. _

I'd rather you not. Seriously, one of these days she's going to catch on and slap me. Hard. Across the face, leaving the burning sensation of a thousand suns in her hand's wake. And it's going to be your fault.

_At least you'll expect it._

"Taira," Moi's up against my ear and talking again, "I've decided to play matchmaker for you! It'll be so much fun! And don't worry about a thing, I have the PERFECT plan! I was talking to Rylie earlier and I think I know just what to do with you two!" Goodness, now I can see just why she and Chi are such good friends.

"Oh, uh, you really don't have to do that," I try to argue. But, as luck would have it, Moi's already bolted off the couch. She scurries off with a devious expression on her face. Okay, now I really have a reason to worry about what might happen tomorrow.

* * *

"I used to work on a fish farm," Ryusuke declares, a hint of pride in his voice. I can't help but snicker. Even my shitty part-time jobs were better than that.

Chiba also hoots mockingly. "Are you serious? You mean all those times you were sitting on your ass in a lawn chair you were actually _working_?"

Ryusuke delivers an inconspicuous elbow to Chiba's gut, shooting us both a look that quite clearly translated into, 'Shut the hell up you idiots! I'm trying to score a chick here!'

I laugh under my breath and yawn even though I'm not tired in the slightest. Truthfully, last night was the first night where I could actually sleep in peace. Sublime hadn't followed me into my room (she went after Kim, her new best friend, instead) and I got my own bed without karate-chopping felons or blanket-hoggers. It was great. Sometimes the little things in life make me the happiest man on earth.

"It doesn't really matter whether or not you've had experience," Moi says, addressing us guys. Chi and Kim were up earlier and already got to work doing things around the house under Grandma's watchful glare. Saku and Koyuki are also doing domestic labour inside after being roped in by Chi. Rylie and Ritsu are standing to the side of Moi, one looking more bored than the other. One could guess who has a shorter attention span and is probably daydreaming of metal music.

"Huh, well I think Ryusuke and I can handle any type of work you throw at us," Chiba concedes, slinging his arm around Ryusuke's neck and squeezing, getting back at him for the stray elbow. Ryusuke twists and thrashes in response to the wrestling move.

"Great! Strong boys, that's what I like," Moi affirms with a wink. I can see both of those guys just glowing from the wink that neither knew was directed at. "You two can shovel manure then!" Both 'strong boys' stop cold, mixed looks of disgust embossed on their faces. Ahah, I'm glad I didn't offer myself up just then.

"Ritsu and I will feed the animals with Saku and Koyuki whenever they get out here and Taira and Rylie can take the King and Queen for a ride." She smirks in my direction, "Yep, don't worry I'll tack them up for ya, all they need is two relatively heavy people to ferry around to keep them in top condition."

"Wait, who's the King and the Queen?" Chiba queries, his deep frown still firmly on his features. Though what's probably going through his head is something along the lines of me getting off with the easy work while he slaves away moving animal shit all day. I know I'd be a little down-trodden if I were in his position.

"My Clydesdales! They're good horses, don't worry. We use them in the winter for sleigh rides and in the summer as a macho cart horse team." She turns to Rylie and I, "You guys would just be taking them for a trail-ride. The horses know the way and if you two don't show up I'm going to assume something's happened and ride Nooki out to find you."

Both Chiba and I shiver in perpetual fear. Though, he shakes at the name of the bull that nearly had him as a snack while I on the other hand shake because I have no prior experience with horses. This is going to be completely out of my depth of knowledge.

We ended up walking around for a bit before getting to work. Chiba and Ryusuke grumbled under their breath when they left with pitchforks and Ritsu was dropped off in the food storage room to prepare feeds. So, then it was the three of us. Oh, and two fucking huge horses.

King has a white blaze down his face in the distinct shape of a dagger (or at least it looked like it to me) and is coloured a rusty brown. His lady friend, just slightly shorter than him, is a darker chestnut and has a small white star on her forehead the size of my thumb. Yeah, its miniscule, but at least we could tell the horses apart without a problem.

Moi gives us each a quick demo on how to brush up the horses properly, then leaves us alone in the double stall that miraculously fit both equines. The horses were loosely tied to the wall by their troughs, thank the gods. I don't know what I'd do if they were throwing around their half ton bodies. I could just see myself and Rylie getting trapped between them. Not that it would be _that_ bad. Okay, now I'm sounding desperate for affection. Maybe even more than usual.

"I used to take horseback riding lessons as a kid when I still lived in Canada," Rylie says from over Queen's ridiculously high back. I can see her brown hair bobbing up occasionally but other than that we're pretty much out of contact besides conversation.

"Oh really? That's good considering I'm a total newbie when it comes to this," I confess. "And I guess that means – HOLY CRAP THE HORSE ALMOST STEPPED ON MY TOES!"

Rylie laughs loudly, earning a nicker from Queen, who's behaving with utmost refinement. King on the other hand is giving me a hard time with his constant fidgeting. It also sucks that he'd had a good roll in the dirt before coming inside the stable for the night. Oh, and I haven't even finished with the 'curry comb' yet. Rylie, she's already nearly done from the sounds of things. Me, I'm covered in fur (a lot is lodged up in my nose) and getting nowhere, or that's what it feels like.

"Hold still," I mutter to the huge beast. I rub the comb in the characteristic circular motion, dust particles, hair and other miscellaneous things flying off King's coat. Yep, it would take me forever to clean the dirty rascal. King whinnies shrilly towards Queen, speaking horsey-code and she whickers back in response. They're probably plotting against me.

"Oh wow, he's dirty," Rylie states dryly as she comes up beside me armed with a soft brush in one hand and a hoof pick in another. Crazy as it is, Queen was actually lifting her feet for Rylie earlier. I pretty much stopped and stared. Clearly she had some experience with horses. Experience I equally clearly lacked.

"You must've been taking lessons for a long time," I infer, hoping to strike up a discussion with the girl. What? A guy's got to try.

She smiles as she continues to help me out with King, brushing with sweeping strokes across the many areas I miss. "Yeah, my Grandpa owned some logging horses. They were old retired Percherons and Belgian horses though, not quite Clydesdales but not far off at all. When I was little I always used to hang around his farm."

"Seriously? So you even have experience riding these monstrosities?" I ask, since I'm dying to know if we're going to be out on our adventure without any know-how at all.

She laughs loudly, a sound that is chorused by the huge female Clydesdale standing behind her. "Actually, I've only ridden the larger horses with my dad or Grandpa. My Grandpa ended up buying me a small black pony to ride. I was only a young girl, and I just happened to be short enough to limbo under the big horses' bellies. My Grandpa was always worried I'd get trampled."

"He was right to worry. These two are huge," I agree whole-heartily. "So, what was your pony's name?" By this time we were getting close to finishing up King's sleek and shiny coat. Rylie had at some point picked the clumps of dirt out of his hooves, to which I was amazed yet again that he was being so obedient. I guess the horse knew he could mess with the inexperienced idiot.

"Like any other little girl given a black pony I named him Blackie," she giggles at herself, the sound prompting me to chuckle as well. "I think my Grandpa wanted to name him Oreo because he had some white spots on him too but I was a pretty stubborn kid."

"Hey, being stubborn is good in moderation. If I weren't so bull-headed I probably wouldn't be a musician right now," I say truthfully. I twirl the brush in my hands as I think way back to the days when I first entered high school, nearly dropping the brush in the hay bedding of the stall. That had been a long time ago and a few of the memories were cloudy at best. The memories had been caged up in the back of my mind, left to rot and eventually be forgotten completely. But, I still remember some things. "A lot of people wanted to hold me back. My mom didn't want me anywhere near an instrument for a long time."

"Why's that?" Rylie asks quietly, the mood suddenly going from playful to serious.

I stare at the horse's twitching hide as flies land atop it. "My biological father was a jazz musician in a travelling band. I guess you could say he didn't really plan on having a kid, so my mom and I were just extra baggage on his back. I didn't see a lot of him growing up, but that was okay since my mom found a boyfriend who was actually reliable." I smile genuinely; I actually really liked that guy. Most kids don't like their step-dad but for me he turned out to be the father figure I'd always wanted. "Of course my mom associated musicians with my father's apathy."

"That makes sense," Rylie says, hand on my shoulder. The touch is oddly comforting. "So I'm guessing she was really against you playing the bass."

"You guessed right. For a while she wouldn't even talk to me. So I moved out. I think that only served to freak her out more. My step-dad helped to bring her around the idea of my calling but…it took time. We're still kind of edgy around each other," I affirm with a sad nod. "She doesn't really understand why I want to pursue music, but at least now she's trying."

"Wow, my family was the exact opposite." She shakes her head in disbelief. "They were really supportive of my choice. My dad's a pretty big fan of Joan Jett, which only helped me in the long run. Some people think the rock industry is exclusively a man's place." She fiddles with the King's black mane, pulling out burrs and untangling coarse hairs. "You're pretty brave. I mean, I wouldn't be able to leave my family behind, even to do something I loved. I'd be pretty insecure without something to fall back on. If they didn't want me to do music I'd probably have gone with my second career choice."

Huh, so she thinks I'm brave. The multitude of testosterone in me is doing cartwheels with that ego boost. "Which is what?" I ask curiously.

"A dentist."

"What? Really?"

"Shut up!" She folds her arms in front of her defensively, but her eyes dance with amusement at my surprised face. "It's a good career! And they make way more than measly musicians do!"

"I'm sorry, I just can't picture you picking around in peoples' mouths!" I plead guiltily with a snort. Though I'll admit, it makes for some cheesy pick-up lines.

_You can perform an oral exam on me anytime girly._

Don't you start.

_Sorry. I know you have a secret fear of doctors. All types. _

That's right, so don't test me.

"Oh, hey, are you two done in there?" Moi's voice interrupts our enthusiastic chatter. I hear her heeled boots clacking against the stone flooring of the stable long before she comes into view. She's holding a saddle and blanket which, okay I'll admit it, looks heavy.

Rylie answers for both of us, "Yep, we're good."

Moi comes into the stall, leaning the saddle over a ledge to stay put. She whips off a bridal from her shoulder and places it on a hook outside the stall. "Okay, I'll tack up King first."

She does it in record time. Or it felt like record time for me, a complete equestrian rookie. Soon enough she does the same for Queen, who puffs out her chest as the saddle's girth is tightened. I point it out, being the keen observer that I am.

"That's fine, we'll walk them around a bit before having you guys mount. That way everyone can get used to one another." I swear I can see a twinkle in Moi's eye. In fact, that little twinkle is so blinding that I just might need a pair of sunglasses. So this is her plan? Leave Rylie and me out in the wilderness with only each other for company? Hell yes. The girl's a genius.

Said genius teaches us how to walk the horses properly with the bridals on. Rylie kicks my butt any day at this stuff (I swear, King's trying to step all over me). Queen, conversely, is a perfectly behaved mare. Yeah, a female horse is called a mare. That's right, I'm picking up some horsey lingo.

Once outside Moi guides us over to this thing she calls a mounting block and hands us these riding helmets that we put on and adjust. After that Rylie climbs up while I stand there watching nervously, Moi holding the reins for her so the horse doesn't take off. Not that Queen would go anywhere. The horse hasn't so much as struck out a hoof yet.

Rylie slides into the saddle with relative ease, making me a feel a mixture of jealousy and awe. Mostly awe since King is being antsy beside me, in turn giving me the heebee jeebees.

At last it's the moment of truth. I'm on the block and gripping the saddle like a total dolt. Why? Because I'm doing it wrong, I can feel it. I'm coated in the smouldering sensation of embarrassment. It's bad. And already Moi's given me directions about five times.

"Swing your leg over," she coaches irritably from the front of the horse. I grab the saddle's horn and try to get my leg over the animal's massive back. God, I feel like I'm doing the splits and I'm not even on the horse yet. "Is your foot even in the stirrup? Foot in the stirrup first! Then the leg goes over." She's getting frustrated, but I can't see her face from my position.

Following her directions I actually have to leave the mounting block. And holy shit I'm dangling off the side of the horse. Luckily instinct kicks in and I scramble (less than gracefully) onto King's back. He shakes harshly, like I'm just an oversized fly come to pester him. But, I have a death-grip on the saddle, and I don't think he's going to be able to dislodge me effortlessly. Okay, I'll admit it; the only time I've been on a horse was when I was little at a fair and that was a carrousel ride with plastic horses. This thing is taller than it looks, and it looks tall to begin with. But now I'm really not looking down at the ground. It's too far away. I'll get dizzy and fall.

"Crap, crap crap," I mutter to myself on repeat, "I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't–"

"Hey Taira, over here!" Rylie calls a few feet away. She's got her horse pacing around in circles, probably waiting for me to make a move. Or, well, the horse to make a move.

Seeing Rylie's elegance atop the other beast energizes me. "I can do this," I tell myself firmly. By now Moi has slithered off with a smirk the size of Kentucky on her face. I guess she figured it was time for the 'plan' to really get down and dirty, or whatever goes on in that girl's mind. Who am I to say?

Okay, Moi said to lightly squeeze. Oh. Oh man, the horse is moving. At least I've got a good grip on the saddle horn, another horsey term for that sticky-uppy part on the saddle. Yeah. A horn on a horse, it just doesn't make sense. When I think of horns I think of vehicles, not horses. Though that could change after this experience.

Queen comes up beside me and Rylie stops her with a tug of the reins. "The trail is this way. Moi says the horses will just follow the path since they've been down it so many times. Let's go!" She makes a clicking noise with her tongue and Queen's ears flick around. The horse magically bursts into a jog, leaving King in the dust.

Of course, like most males, King chases the tail of his lady. Whether I'm on him or not. Soon it's all I can do to just hold on as he trots after his beau, the constant up and down jolting abusing my rear end. Ouch much? And here I thought the seat belt yesterday was bad. This is corporal punishment for my sins.

We're on the trail through the backwoods before long and Rylie slows Queen down so I can catch up. I then steer the brute around Queen's massive body so we're parallel. Okay, crisis is over for the moment.

We make lazy banter for the next several minutes, though our conversation mostly consists of her showing me the proper way to hold the reins, because apparently I'd screwed that up as well. The horses are jerking their heads around, eating mouthfuls of tree branches (why, I don't know) and dipping their heads to snatch at grass. Rylie's got Queen under control, halting the behaviour but I on the other hand am not faring as well. King is frickin' strong, let me tell you. I can see how these horses can pull heavy loads. No wonder they refer to the power of a vehicle's engine as 'horsepower'.

"Hey, there's a bridge up ahead," Rylie announces. Sure enough as we approach there is a neat little white sign that says in black writing (English), 'Dismount to cross bridge.' Or at least I think that's what it says. Sure, I'm leagues ahead of Chiba Koyuki and Saku when it comes to learning English but I'm still not entirely confident in my skills.

I can see the reason for the bridge though; there's like a ravine with a little trickle of water running through it. The horses would probably have one heck of a time navigating that thing.

"Guess we're getting off," Rylie says to me over her shoulder. I watch as she leans back to stop the horse, kicks her feet out of the stirrups, and drops off the mare elegantly. Wow, I don't think I'm going to be able to do this with that much style. I already know this is going to be awkward as hell.

As if sensing my discomfort (or, more likely, seeing my lack of response to the situation), Rylie loosely ties her horse down, so Queen doesn't get any ideas. I've since stopped King, or rather he stopped himself to eat grass, so Rylie walks up and takes the reins from me, lifting them over King's furry head with a bit of difficulty. The horse is still as freakishly tall as it was a few minutes ago.

She takes control of my predicament. "Okay, take both feet out of the stirrup, swing your leg around and slide off," Rylie instructs, making the whole endeavour sound a lot easier than it actually is. Still, I try to follow her pointers, taking my feet out of the stirrups which leaves me uncomfortable because the moment King moves I'm going to squeeze my legs together and roll under his belly like Jell-O.

"M-my foot's stuck," I stammer, the heel of my shoe catching with something on the saddle as I 'swing over'. The discomfited weight that is me precariously hanging on to the saddle on one side freaks the horse out and King lurches out from under me in the opposite direction. I lose my grip on the saddle completely and topple off the side of the hairy creature. Gravity kicks in instantly. The wind blows through my hair tauntingly as I free-fall.

"AHH! Ack!"

A soft, cushioned landing.

Oh. Shit. Oh shit. Oh –

I just fell on top of Rylie! I think I just crushed her!

"You're crushing me!"

Okay, present tense. Present tense is good, it means everything isn't said and done yet. It means I probably haven't killed her. Hopefully all her bones are still intact too.

I try to leap up at the same time she tries to get out from under me. We end up in a tangle where I flop like a rag-doll _back on top of her_. The hill we're on starts moving. Okay, it's not moving. We're moving. Down the ravine.

"Gah!" We roll down the slope in a heap, limbs entwined. The horses' whiney after us, laughing their horsey asses off no doubt. We don't pick up a whole lot of speed and soon enough we come to a stop just before the little river. Whew. I don't think I could handle wet clothes at a time like this.

"Oh hell, are you okay? Is anything broken?" My voice becomes more and more frantic with each passing syllable. "Talk to me!"

She's laughing uncontrollably, sides heaving and eyes watering. I glare at her for a second until I can't help it; I start laughing _at her_. Her face is red and she's covered in grass and twigs. I imagine I look a little roughed up too.

When she finally calms down the first thing that comes out of her mouth is, "I should have known that was going to happen! First time riders usually either fall right off the horse when trying to dismount or manage to get off the horse fine but then their legs give out from under them. Something to do with stretching out those muscles you never use."

"Ugh, no kidding," I say darkly, my thighs sore. Will I be able to walk after this? Hmm, only time will tell.

She's smiling at me, and hasn't made any effort at all to pull away even though we're essentially sitting on each other. This, this here looks like an opportunity to me. The little window. Yes, I imagine she knows it too. There's a flicker of something in her eyes and I just _know_ what it is she's thinking right now.

We lean in. This is it. After so long I'm finally going to be able to taste her adorable pink lips again. I close my eyes subconsciously. There's suddenly a strange weight in my lap, but I ignore it, passing it off as Rylie's hand.

As we connect I make note that the lips I'm smooching are incredibly cold and wet. My eyes flutter open. Black and white. Everything's black and white.

"Sublime!" Rylie squeaks.

I'm kissing the dog. And it's just as gross as anyone could imagine.

* * *

**A.N.:** Sort of a cliff-hanger there, ahaha. Poor Taira, he's not much of a farmhand.

My Grandpa used to use logging horses back in the day, long before machinery~ They were Clydesdales and such dependable horses! I also was hit by the horse craze when I was a kid. Hehe, I had a minor obsession actually now that I think back to it.

You know what I didn't notice until after I'd written this chapter? Budweiser (the BEER company), used to use Clydesdales to transport their wares and the horses were always accompanied by a dog ('cause the wagons were easy to steal from and the dog would chase the robbers off.) Yeah, and the symbolic dog just so happens to be a Dalmatian. Wow, I didn't plan that. Seriously though, watch the old Budweiser commercials on Youtube and you'll see what I mean! ^^

As always, **read **and **review**!

~Reiki


	16. Under the Radar

**Author's Note**: Taira and Rylie apparently have a complicated relationship. Well, life's complicated too you know. I just hope this chapter makes some degree of sense. Wait, when do my chapters ever make sense?

Major **thanks** to my motivational people; **Itsuka**, **Jesse**, **Gibson77**, and **666 Kage**! You guys are the milk to my milkshake. Haha~

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 16 – Under the Radar

* * *

Tough luck Taira, because I'm not kissing those lips until they're sterile again.

Then again…I might not get another chance like this.

No, dog slobber is gross.

But, Taira's so…not gross. Hot. Cute. At this moment in time he has a disgusted look on his face but he still manages to tug at my heart strings…which is cheesy as hell, but how else could I describe the pounding in my chest?

Again, there's the Sublime drool…but maybe he's wiped it all off? No, the germs would still be there…

"Arg! I can't decide so I'm just going to kiss you!" I yell as I tackle Taira. His arms shoot up in the air on reflex as mine wrap themselves around his midsection. He keels over backwards, legs splayed out around my waist as I crush our lips and bodies together. Heh, at least I didn't miss. Now that would have been uncomfortable, jumping his bones like a football player and then not even managing to kiss him? Oi.

To say he's surprised would be an understatement. It takes him nearly a full ten seconds to realize it would be a good idea to kiss me back. By then his hands are suddenly everywhere at once and a tongue is added into the equation. Except that makes me think of the calculus class I failed in high school, so lets not talk math now.

Taira's hair is soft, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense considering he bleaches it. I can't help myself though; I have to pick out the little twigs and blades of grass as we're kissing. I don't know what kind of obsessive compulsive disorder that would be classified as, but all I know is that he certainly doesn't mind my meticulous grooming.

When we break for air he doesn't say anything, just smiles warmly. There's this happy content silence where I wonder if I'm heavy, considering I'm lounging on his stomach. His stomach is firm under my butt, speaking of muscles hidden underneath. Opps, better not think that or else I might just rip his shirt off superwoman style. Then we'll be up the creek if someone were to find us in the…nude. Okay, I'd better get off him now before I do something one or both of us might regret.

The second I slide off his stomach and pull him up into a sitting position by his shoulders the situation becomes awkward. I play with my hair, snatching up twigs and dropping them in a pile beside me. He fixes his shirt, which rode up a little the second I leapt at him. My face is red, his face is red…the colour for passion is red…and I've got to stop that. I'm feeling suddenly inspired to go out and do things out of my general comfort zone. Which might just get me killed on day. Hmm, it sounds like it's about that time of the month. That would explain EVERYTHING.

"Um, okay, I don't really know what to say here," Taira starts quietly, his dark eyes searching my innards and looking over my very soul. In reality there are some people who can pull off such a serious contemplative face that it's not even funny. It's scary. And I don't do scary. I can't watch a horror film to save my life. People getting cut up by axes? Hell no. Ritsu on the other hand _laughs_ at those parts. How can a person _laugh_? Honestly, I bury my face in the couch or a pillow whenever the tense foreboding music starts up.

"Uh, neither do I," I confess. "Sorry for jumping you like that. I didn't really give much of a warning."

"No, no, no, it was fine," he rushes to say. "I mean, I liked it. Uh. Yeah."

Oh excellent, thank goodness he liked it or else I would have just become a sexual assaulter of a lesser degree. Eek. I open my mouth to crack a joke about that but he starts talking again.

"But, Rylie, I don't really know where we stand, um," he makes a motion with his hand, indicating the both of us. "Like, are we…together? Or not together but just having fun? Um, okay that sounded really bad, forget I said that last part." His palm connects with the side of his face as he rushes to close his mouth.

"No, you're pretty much just saying it like it is." I purse my lips as I sit in the grass and think. "But, you should know I'm…not really good at keeping both a relationship and a band together. It's always been one or the other. And you know what I have to choose." I watch his face fall and something in me falls and shatters into splintery pieces as well. "Wait, that's not a rejection! It's just…more like a warning. Um, yeah," it's my turn to be flustered.

"I can do warnings," he says, touching my cheek in a way that almost makes me want to loose control and jump him again. Or, at the very least, hug all the air out of his lungs. "Er, that doesn't make much sense. What I mean is that I can take chances. Wait, that doesn't make sense either."

"I know what you're saying, Taira," I affirm with a laugh at his perplexed face. "It's just…I don't want to cause tension in my band by being with you-"

"Openly," he cuts me off. "How about, not openly? Like secretively. Forbidden love." He's gnawing on his lower lip. I'll admit his word choice is slightly bizarre.

"I never pegged you as the type to read romance novels," I deliberately avoid his question, trying to buy myself time. I can't just blurt out random answers or I'm going to wreck any chance I have of having him and my band co-exist in harmony.

If he notices, he doesn't call me on it. "Well, I never pegged you as a potential dentist."

"Yeah, weird huh?" My laugh is nervous. I can't believe we're batting around the problem at hand here. I need to be serious; I need to take the initiative to embark on a bold new venture! Okay, so that sounds cheesy to my ears, but it's fitting enough. Ugh, it is most certainly that time of the month. "Look, Taira, I'm the leader of my band. I can't let anything come between us as a whole. That anything means you. It's one of those 'I'd really, _really _love to, but I _can't'_ situations. Like going up to an ice cream stand and finding out the pocket holding all your change has a huge hole in it. I want the ice cream but I can't have it because I'm broke." Okay, that brings back certain memories that are better off forgotten.

"I can't believe you're likening me to ice cream," he mutters. He raises his voice a tad, "I just think we'd work out. I've never felt this way about anyone else be–"

"Okay woah, stop right there!" I find myself shouting. "At this point I can't handle what you're saying, so please just _don't._" Harsh, but it needed to be done. His kicked puppy face re-surfaces. Oh man, I have to make this better somehow. "Let's create a compromise, okay? Like you suggested, secretive. Under the radar. If we were to do that option we'd have to be careful not to do anything while eyes are watching us."

The light in his eyes flickers, but doesn't dim in the slightest. "Sounds like a challenge," he muses. "But, I'm willing to try. Besides, it kind of sounds…fun."

"Yeah, secret agent fun," I confirm with a smirk. "Sneaking around and stuff…but now that makes me think what could happen if we get caught by, say, Ritsu…she won't be happy."

For him, it doesn't really matter if we get caught. His band mates seem to like me. "_If_ is the key word here. _IF_. And _if_ Ritsu found us I think I'd be in a lot of pain." He laughs apprehensively. He's trying to hold this together. That's a good sign. It means he's not afraid to 'go the distance'.

"Okay let's do it!" I pump my fist in the air to raise my spirits and clear out any doubtful thoughts I might be having. It usually works too. He stares at me strangely and it takes me a moment to figure out why. "Not like that you pervert!"

He blanches, "W-what? N-no, I wasn't thinking…THAT!" I give him a look that clearly says, 'bullshit'. "Okay, so that was the first thing that came to mind, but it's from hanging around Ryusuke for so long!"

"Fair enough," I drawl, standing up and offering a hand and smile. He takes it and behind us the horses whinny as if sensing the drama has passed. Sublime? Well, she's standing with the horses looking pretty smug. Silly dog.

* * *

"Ahh hell! I hate this time of the month!" I shout as I slam dunk the remnants of my 'special items' in the trash. "Some days, I just hate being a woman."

"Oh, you got your flower?" Chi asks sympathetically. Honestly, why she has to refer to the 'condition' as a _flower _I don't know. She's so girly.

"Yes, if I were swimming in a tank full of sharks right now I'd be dead," I say morosely. Chi shivers; she isn't a huge fan of sharks. "Oh well, I have my meds."

"Don't get too drugged out Ry," Kim advises, "I don't want you falling off the stage and landing on some poor fan, possibly sending them to the hospital for broken limbs."

I huff; I do not get her side effects obviously. "Relax Kim, only you do that on Midol."

"True." Ritsu agrees readily. "Besides, it's not like Rylie does the PMS shit like you do either." I nod enthusiastically at this. "No, she goes all happy-go-lucky, which makes absolutely no sense."

"I can't help it!" I defend, abashed. "What can I say; I'm not like most girls!"

"That's for sure," Kim begins solemnly, "Apparently your brain functions differently from ours. I mean who in their right mind eats cucumbers and cracker patties?"

"That was one time! It was a craving. And it didn't taste bad. Crunchy things just go together." Really, they need to branch out and try new things. And, at this time of the month, I'll do almost anything once.

We're lounging around in our double sized hotel room in New Orleans, Louisiana. It was cheaper than buying two separate rooms, that's for sure. The girls (and guys for that matter) were all too eager to leave the farm in Dallas far behind. I heard from Koyuki who sat next to me as I drove that Chiba had been attacked by the goats, who, according to Koyuki, were trying to jump up and bite his afro. It seemed ludicrous to me until I saw the obviously shorter tuff of hair on the back of Chiba's head. Ouch. Seems like the felonious hoofed animals succeeded to some extent.

Taira and I ended up walking the horses back yesterday. He didn't want to try getting on King without a mounting block and I couldn't agree more after having him nearly crush me. Though rolling down the hill with him had been…like a scene from Disney's 'The Lion King'. Only it was slightly more painful and we didn't land in a bed of flowers and butterflies like Simba and Nala did. No, but the intimate touch had been present. And the lingering kiss he gave me as we were walking the horses back more than made up for having him knock me over and roll me down a hill. Wow, that sounds loony, even to my ears that are regularly abused by Ritsu.

I have to keep reminding myself that it actually happened. I caught Taira staring at me from the back of the van a couple times, and judging from the way he smiled smugly he knew I was watching him too. After I nearly drove off the side of the road thanks to his distracting smiles I stopped checking my rear-view mirror. Screw the cars behind me, sometimes a girl's gotta just keep pushing forward!

Anyways, back to the present. Lounging in a hotel room. Our next gig is not until midnight tonight and it's noon here. Yeah, we left pretty early in the morning. That was a mistake. Even Sublime didn't want to roll off the floor. Ryusuke ended up coming to get her, picking her up and slinging her over his shoulder. Poor thing's still skinny as can be and weighs no more than a feather according to Beck's black-haired leader.

"Your cell phone's ringing, dammit," Ritsu grumbles as she throws the offending device at my head. Luckily for me it both misses my noggin and lands not on the floor but the bed beside me. "Why is your ring tone so obnoxiously loud? I'm trying to relax and take a nap!"

I feel like forming a comeback out of her equally loud and obnoxious metal music but my brain fizzles out when I catch sight of the caller ID. Guh.

"Stepping outside to take this," I mutter quickly and vanish into the hallway before flipping open my phone. The other girls luckily don't follow me out, or else we'd be competing for who would be the lucky chick to hold the cell. And I wouldn't win, not with Ritsu and Chi against me.

"Y'hello, Mr. Yamada," I say as I hear fuzz and shuffling on the other end. Sounds like he's getting work done promoting our band back in Japan. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.

Regardless it had been a while since the old coot pestered us. I had been beginning to wonder if Mr. Yamada had had a heart attack or something. He doesn't exactly have the healthiest lifestyle. "So, how are things?" is the first thing out of his mouth.

"They're…okay. We got double-booked at a hotel though because you didn't commit the money," my tone is sour and I hope he feels bad. His girls left out in the cold? All his fault.

His livid voice makes me remove the phone from my ear, "WHAT! This is outrageous! I'm going to spam their internet review sites and make sure they never get another customer again!" I hear some clicking the background, the sound of a computer being booted up. That can't be good. Rampant manager on the loose alert.

"Whatever. It doesn't really matter since we found somewhere else to stay that didn't cost us a penny," I try to reconcile. He's not even listening, instead screaming at someone else on his side of the line. I feel for that poor soul.

"You still there girlie?" he asks finally in his gravely old-man voice, using his usual pet name for anyone in the Flux. Stupid old perverted man. I'm just glad he's in another country and isn't trying to get us into skimpy Lolita dresses anymore. Really that one time was creepy.

"Yeah, still here, still wasting money on long distance charges," I say, fingering the small wad of one dollar American bills in my sweater pocket. I hope that gets him off the phone. After driving my fair share of hours today I'm not in the mood to take his crap.

"Shit. Okay, I'll cut to the chase here. None of the guys in Beck have their damn phones on, so you're going to be a messenger. Tell them that they now have a modest amount of cash in their band's bank account. It's for a van rental so you all can separate again. Oh, and Beck's manager paid a sum to you four girls for putting up with those guys. Pretty generous, eh? I honestly don't care what you do with the extra dough. But don't do something stupid like buy drugs! It's costly and we're not funding it!" I'm not really listening at this point. No, I didn't get past the _separate_ part of the conversation.

"Oh," my heart is dropping rapidly. "Okay."

He hangs up without another word and I let the phone dangle precariously in my hand before the haze washes away. Funds for another van means we won't be travelling together anymore. The only time we'd see Beck would be at a show or in the hotel. I should be happy that it's just me and my girls again, but I'm not. No, I'm as far from happy as I can get.

This information is residing only in me. It's my job to tell the others. Maybe I should pretend it never happened. I mean, how often does Taira check his band's bank balance? No, if I don't tell them I'd just be looked at as untrustworthy by both bands. It's a no win situation.

Okay, I tell Taira. Or whoever in Beck that I run into first.

Of course, the first person I run into is neither Taira or in Beck. It's Ritsu, in all her sleep-deprived glory. She's come outside to see who's wasting money on cell phone bills.

"Yo, who flattened your boobs Ry? You don't look too good," Ritsu comments leisurely as she takes in my apocalypse face. I know I look bad, the dark rings under my eyes only accentuate this style.

I don't really react to her phrase choice. It's all just become numb to me suddenly. "I…have something to say."

She crooks an eyebrow and her ponytail bounces as she jerks her chin up, "Well, spit it out already. I want to go back inside and take a piss, thanks."Crude. So Ritsu's feeling normal today. This is all fine and dandy for her. For her the world didn't just end.

For a second I'm tempted to spill my guts and tell her _everything,_ including the new development between Taira and I. She's my _best friend_ after all. I'm not going to last long with this secret. "It's about the band." Ugh, I couldn't do it. Not yet.

She frowns, "I knew it; we're finally broke aren't we? So what do we do now? Sell Sublime to some little kid on the sidewalk for a penny a pound or what? Scrawny dog won't fetch much."

"No! No. Actually, we have money from an unexpected source." Her eyes bug out of her head. Gaining money in a lowly indie band is virtually unheard of. "But, that's not all…" I trail off as I take a breath of the stale smoke-clogged hotel air, "We have our van to ourselves again. Beck got money from the label to replace their last van. The one that blew up."

Now her eyes are really the size of saucers. And I'm not talking milk saucers that you put on the floor for your cat, no I'm talking UFOs in cornfields here. "What! This is great! Oh man, finally we can dump those–"

"I'm really sad," I butt in dejectedly. Ritsu stops her happy dance with one foot still in the air to stare at me as if I've grown an extra set of limbs. She's stiff, statuesque, like someone hitting the pause button on a movie right when it's getting to the action-packed part.

"Why?" comes out on autopilot. She catches my pointed face. "Oh. OH. Well, that, I, uh, shit man." She's stammering as she tries to keep far away from the eye of the storm. I guess I look like a train wreck. Never did I ever think I'd cry like a baby over a _boy_ of all things but…

"Oh dammit, don't cry on me," Ritsu says softly as she pulls me into an embrace. I let her hug me awkwardly, something she doesn't do often enough to be a natural at. Though the fact that she's doing this for me says a lot about the strength of our friendship.

"Let's get you inside before you stain my t-shirt permanently with your mascara," she mumbles as she steers me towards the door. That's her way of saying, 'Hey, I know you don't like to cry and embarrass yourself in public.'

Chi takes one look at me and practically throws herself at my feet, "What happened?"

"Nothing happened!" Ritsu snaps. "She's just got some unfortunate news, that's all." Chi opens her mouth to say something but Ritsu cuts her off, "And nobody died, don't worry." Ritsu steers my near comatose form towards Kim and Sublime, sitting on one of the beds. The dog's spoiled, that's all I think about right now. If I think anything else I might really start to loose my composure, even though it's half gone already.

I quickly relay my story again, trying my best to keep my face calm and serene. I should mention that I fail horribly. At least by petting Sublime's head I can keep myself from running to the bathroom and holing up pathetically.

"You should go tell them, they'll be overjoyed," I suggest to Chi quietly. She nods, looks crestfallen at the thought of leaving me here but then heads off for Beck's rooms down the hall, miniskirt swishing.

Once Chi leaves the room I catch Ritsu and Kim exchanging a glance, the meaning behind it I cannot read. Finally Kim says slowly, carefully, "Rylie, it's probably better this way. I hate to be the one to say this but maybe you should just move on. Get past this phase you're in. It hasn't done anything good for you."

"Maybe in your opinion," I reply sourly. "You don't understand what it's like Kim. You don't even like guys much."

If she had feathers she's be ruffling them right now. "Look, you're right, I don't. I don't want a guy to fawn over me. I'm perfectly fine on my own. I don't need to rely on a man." She sighs, "Look, it's not like he's gone forever or anything. Sure we're splitting, but it's not like Taira's going to be going anywhere. Until after the tour of course."

Ritsu swallows as she watches the tension between Kim and I escalate. Kim doesn't understand at all what I'm going through. This is a great divide between Taira and I and she just doesn't see that.

"The second I move away some other girl's going to come in and take my place," I say softly. "Do you have any idea how many girls would love to be with him? How many have hit on him since this tour began and, _hell_, before the tour? I can't compete with them all!"

Chi comes bursting back into the room, "Hey guys, it's settled!" At the sight of our exasperated/heartbroken faces she freezes. Okay, so I'm the only one with the heartbroken face but still.

"That's exactly it, I don't get why you should have to compete for some guy," Kim states sourly. "It's one boy. Like they say; there's more fish in the sea."

"I don't get why you're so against him-"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are! One minute you tolerate him and the next you're pushing me away from him. What are you trying to do here I-"

"I'm not trying to do anything!" I glare at her. If that were true we wouldn't be having this argument. "Okay, fine! You know what, I'm just looking out for the band. That's right. Because the second he dumps you, you're going to end up so devastated that this band will cease to exist. I'm trying to _help_ you Ry."

I fall back on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. If only she knew what Taira and I had decided. Ugh, she's going to beat my face in when she finds out. Ritsu too.

In any case, Chi might be happy for me.

"Um, not to be a mood killer or anything but…" Chi trails off, pausing for dramatic effect. "Beck decided to travel with us and spend the money on something else! Isn't that wonderful?"

I shoot up, "What?"

"No!" Kim and Ritsu shout in unison, varying degrees of intensity.

Chi stares at Kim and Ritsu incredulously, "Wasn't…that what I was supposed to do? Tell them about the money but say they could still stay with us?"

"No, that was _not_ it. We wanted them _out_," Kim says firmly. Ritsu looks at me, a clear sorry written on her stone cold face and nods.

Chi frowns, "_I _didn't want them out." She folds her hands over her chest and gushes, "Besides, Koyuki and Saku are just so adorable! You should have seen how excited they got when they learned about the mon-"

"Chi, go back and kick them out!" Kim yells, angrily stuffing some things into one of the hotel room's dressers. If she doesn't calm down something's going to break. "It's bad enough we put up with them for this long already!"

"I want them to stay!" I pipe up, rushing to keep Chi afloat with my support.

Ritsu groans loudly. We all turn to her and stare. "You know what? I don't care anymore! If we argue any longer we might as well start throwing our instruments out the window and quit trying to make this work!"

We freeze at Ritsu's words. She's right. We're being stupid here. We don't want to end this like the old Guns 'N' Roses did. Sure Axl's still there but the original line-up that defined their sound? Absent. Ran away. Fired. Drugged up in Adler's case. We can't let that happen to us.

I put my hands in my lap and twiddle my thumbs. "Okay, let's try and reach a compromise." From the contrasting glow in everyone's eyes, this would be an admirable feat.

* * *

A few hours later finds both bands standing outside of one of the many strip malls in New Orleans. Somehow Saku found it at Chi's request using the computer downstairs in the hotel's lobby. Yeah, it's only been an hour since we were 'paid for our troubles' and already Chi's looking to blow the dough.

"If there really is a music store in here I'm replacing my crushed amp," I tell everyone as we stand inside the mall's entrance. Ryusuke, Taira, Chi and I pull out our cell phones and check to make sure they work. On the way to the mall we decided we'd split up. Taira hands his cell phone off to Saku, since he so gallantly decided to accompany me to the music store. What a gentleman.

Of course, Chiba wants to go with Taira. And Ritsu wants to go with me. It could be a problem in the long run, but nothing to fret about right this minute.

We set a time to meet back up at the entrance and split up into groups. Koyuki and Saku head off in search of an old record store that had been advertised outside while Chi drags Kim off to shop for clothes. I'm just thankful we divided up the cash beforehand or Chi would probably end up spending every last cent. She isn't exactly cheap or anything but she's also the same girl who would bend over to pick up a stray penny. Yep.

Ryusuke valiantly goes back outside to the van to hang out with Sublime. I have this odd feeling he's going to walk around town and try to pick up chicks with the dog. Hopefully this is merely a gut feeling.

"So, music store," Chiba states as we walk along next to the crowd of eclectically dressed people. I think I just saw someone wearing leopard leotards. And another dude reminds me instantly of David Bowie off The Man Who Sold The World album. Huh.

Ritsu growls, "Yes, so if you don't want to go you should turn around now and go running back to your buddies." She doesn't want to hang out in the music store either but anything to argue with Chiba I suppose.

He snorts and slings a lazy arm around Taira's shoulders, "What, and leave Taira to be torn apart by you two? I think not." I roll my eyes. That would be the last thing I'd do. Actually, probably not. If it involves tearing his clothes off…

Oh crap. Bad Rylie. Bad, bad, bad. Naughty thoughts. Again. Must banish them to the back of my mind.

"You okay? You looked like an owl for a second there," Ritsu whispers, nudging me back to the here and now. I admit I can zone out when I'm deep in concentration.

I lean over to whisper back conspiratorially, "That guy looks like Marilyn Manson." She looks past my inconspicuously pointed finger and visibly pales.

"Oi, you're right," she says as we pass the gothic man with shaved eyebrows and more make-up than a hooker on a Saturday night. She grabs my lower arm snugly and starts laughing, which causes me to giggle as well. Chiba and Taira give us confused stares, apparently oblivious to the Manson wannabe. How they could miss someone like that, I don't know. Maybe they still have dust in their eyes from the farm yesterday. Ew, that would entail that they didn't shower.

"Hey what's so funny?" Chiba asks after we calm down enough to actually hear him.

Ritsu snorts. "Nothing _darling,_" She rolls it off her tongue mockingly. He huffs, and chooses not to retort. It appears he has some brains after all; only an idiot would choose to make Ritsu angry in a public place.

"It's around here," Taira holds up the map Saku printed out back at the hotel. Thank the gods the mall's website had a map else we'd be terribly lost right about now. I know I couldn't find my way back to the entrance at this point. All the little clothing boutiques look the same and the peoples' faces passing us by are all blending together into a muddle. That makes me sound drunk and I haven't had a single beer since…okay, not _too_ long ago, but I wasn't drunk. I swear. Okay, I take that oath back; maybe I had one too many…but not enough to trip over my own two feet. No, that was Chi, not me. Silly little ditzy blondes and beer have never mixed well in the history of mankind. Why do you think there are so many blonde jokes floating around out there?

"This is it," Ritsu drones as we stop just two feet shy of the open boutique. There are several guitars hanging on the walls inside, sparkling under the overhead lamps. All in all it's a small shop, and seeing it makes me wonder if there's even going to be a single amp in there made for my needs.

We shimmy inside, avoiding the various stacks of mini practice amps and guitar stands littering the ground. To say everything is clustered together like our travels in the van would be an underestimation. This shop is packed to the rafters with crap, and some it looks like it hasn't been touched in ten years. As if the dust on top of a lot of the inventory isn't enough of an indication.

"Yo! You four starting a band?" The voice from the back of the store calls. I look up from where I had picked up a 70s p-bass replica and stare at the man who'd spoken. Seems as though Marilyn Manson had a friend in the mall.

This guy is certainly six foot something. That's the first thing I notice when he walks up and I have to crane my neck way up to the heavens to look him in the eye. Even then the most I get is his chin. He has a plethora of blonde curls cascading down his back and is wearing a hideous and deranged leather outfit. The image I get is one of a huge biker dude who could model in a Pantene commercial.

"We're in a band already," Chiba supplies, picking up a bongo drum that had been resting at his feet and studying it. He makes no move to play it though. He most likely doesn't want to get shown up by the percussionist with us at the moment.

"Not together though," Ritsu clarifies. "Those two," she points to Taira and Chiba, "are in a band together." She gestures to me and herself, "We're in a band called Fidelity Flux." She says it proudly, as if we have the capacity to be celebrities someday. I just hope she doesn't offer an autograph or anything too embarrassing.

He waggles his eyebrows, "No shit. Well, I'm in a band called Mars Monkeys, but ain't nobody heard of us." He shrugs his shoulders and straightens up a guitar that was nearly falling of its wall rack.

"Hey, I've heard of you guys! I have your CD," Taira offers, his expression one of complete bewilderment.

I gape at him; is he serious?

"Are you serious?" The man asks sceptically. "Most of the people say that and then hope it gets them a discount."

Taira takes a moment to process the English and I relay the information to him again in Japanese by whispering in his ear. He smiles in complete understanding, "Nope, I have your CD. It has an elephant on the cover, if I remember correctly." His English is nearly ideal at this point. A few slurs, but he's really picking the language up.

"Wow, I'm…actually kind of touched," the big man says, faking a tear in his eye. He straightens up and grins, exposing crooked teeth. "Seriously though kids, where the hell you guys from? Boston?"

Taira and Chiba exchange quizzical looks. I guess it's time for me to step in.

"We're from Japan," I tell him earnestly.

He purses his lips in surprise and fingers the stubble on his chin. "Long way from home, aren't ya's?"

"Yeah, we're on tour and playing at The Pit tonight." What the hell, might as well tell him everything. He could quite possibly give me a discount if I get on his good side.

He furrows his brow, "What? The Pit? Really?" His gobsmacked face is really starting to freak us out. Even Ritsu's a little unnerved by the man in tight leather pants. "Didn't think that club was still in business. I thought I heard it closed down…"

"I-it didn't though, right?" My voice is frantic. If there's a chance we might not make any money tonight I don't want to go blowing it all right now.

"Eh, guess not if you're apparently playing there. Haven't played the other side of the city in a long time. A decade actually. My band only books gigs downtown in the heart of the lion." He shrugs nonchalantly and we relax a little. Guess this dude's just trying to freak us out intentionally. "So, gonna buy anything or what?"

"Oh, yes. That's why we're here." He grins rather greedily at my answer. It doesn't seem as though he's going to give me even a nickel off. Well, damn.

* * *

The amp I picked out was expensive, but so, _so_ worth it. I remember looking at the same model back in Japan when I was taking my Ric in for a desperately needed tune-up. Thankfully the shop had a pickup area in the back so we didn't have to somehow carry the thing trough the masses of people and succeed in finding the entrance. Instead Taira drove us around the back and we collected my booty. Well, now I'm broke. That was almost all my cash.

"We still have two hours to kill," Chiba moans as we resume our now aimless walk. At this point Ritsu and I are actually contemplating trying on clothes just for the heck of it. Regularly we'd never consider it. We're not much for shopping I suppose.

"I'm going to get clothes," Ritsu says randomly as she ducks inside one of the little shops. The rest of us have no choice but to follow her. She and I have the cell phones in the group. The boys are virtually tied to us. Ehehe, that sounds like we're running a slave business, which it could certainly turn into. I'm sure Taira would offer to carry our shopping bags if it came down to it. Not that I'd let him though. I'm feminine but not that feminine. Ritsu…would probably clobber the man who asked with said bags of clothes.

Well, this is a neat little shop. It has sort of an urban trendsetter vibe going on. Underlying punk. Yes, I could see Ritsu in a lot of these clothes.

She and I snatch up clothes off their racks and head to the change rooms at the back, leaving the boys to do…whatever they're doing. I think they're checking out the lava lamps at the front of the store…or something. There's actually a lot of neat crap in here.

The shirt I picked out doesn't really fit all that well around my bust. Damn. This always happens to me. I get the unsightly stretch lines around my boobs and then the rest of the shirt is stupidly baggy. I'm not even that big around the middle! Seriously, a lot of clothes are made for flat pre-teen girls these days. Ugh.

The next garment fits better and I end up keeping it on and composing an outfit before exiting the change room and knocking on Ritsu's door. "Yo, you still in there Ritz Crackers?"

"Don't fucking call me that!" She shouts through the thick door. Ever since we ended up in a grocery store for cheap and healthier food I've been joking about her name. Those American junk food snacks are quite salty too, like our little Ritsu. Oh, if she could read my mind she'd shoot me right about now.

"Okay, you decent? I want to come in and show you this awesome outfit!" I contemplate doing a mock twirl but the salesperson is already giving me 'the look'. You know, the one they give you a few minutes before they call security? Yeah, _that_ look.

"Move out of the way, I'm coming out," she says as she forces open the door, revealing her clothing choices. Hmm, very sexy punk rock chic fashion. I must say, I'm impressed. The sparse but bulky chains and bold prints definitely suit her style. I glance over my shoulder to look for the salesperson and catch Chiba staring while Taira tinkers with something on the shelf. He looks away bashfully and I wonder just what's going through his afro head.

"Buy this for sure," I advise, convinced this outfit could be rocked on stage at one of our gigs. Maybe even tonight's gig. Yes, that would work out well. Not that anyone ever sees the drummer at the back of the stage, haha. Okay, bad joke.

"Hmm, you think so?" she wonders aloud more to herself than me. Regardless I nod enthusiastically. She looks up at me and then across the store at Taira and Chiba who're both now staring in our direction in veneration. "What are they staring at?"

"We're sexy girls, they're boys. Boys like girls. They can't help but drool over us," I affirm perceptively. She pulls a disgusted face and then laughs raucously. I think that seals it; she buys the clothes and I throw mine on the 'doesn't fit' rack. We head out in good spirits, experiencing that euphoric high of spending money. I know why there's so many women out there classified as shopaholics. It's addicting.

"Chiba and I spotted this creepy looking store over there," Taira inclines his head across the mall to where a very dark shop resides. The multicoloured lights flickering inside remind me of houses on Halloween. The windows are all covered inside with billowing purple curtains. As we approach the store's name comes into view; _Mood Setter_ the billboard reads. The store smells strongly of incense and for a second I don't want to go inside and murder my nose. But then the sign out front persuades me.

"Hey, there's a fortune teller inside on Wednesdays and Fridays. What day is it anyway?" I ask, since I really have no clue what day of the week. I'm guessing Tuesday, but on tour the days just bleed together.

"It's Friday," Taira supplies. I gulp; man was I ever wrong. That's okay though, it's not like I'm working or anything. Eheh, I wonder what my old boss is doing back in Japan. He almost certainly hired someone else already to fill the void.

"Hmm, it looks kind of scary in there," Chiba muses. "Could be fun." He grins wildly and his afro bobs in silent agreement.

"I'm going to get my fortune told then," I announce. "Come on, let's go." I lead the way in and Ritsu follows closely behind. Too close that she's brushing my back with one outstretched hand. Don't tell me she's silently got the jitters because of this place.

"It's dark in here," I mutter as I study the weird things on the walls and on shelves. There are a couple porcelain Buddas and tons of incense burning kits…and fake bones and tarot cards…it's kind of cool.

I can't help but stop and pick up a set of packaged tarot cards, flipping them over in my palm to read the backside of the deck. Ritsu moves around me, slowly becoming less tense. I probably shouldn't have brought her in here. She can handle horror movies just fine but when it comes to real life situations she's a little less brave.

Suddenly something comes crashing through the inventory, knocking things down so they crash and shatter on the ground. I jump in place as I drop the cards out of shock.

Ritsu shrieks and springs backwards. She slams into Chiba and they both go in reverse and land in a pile of strategically placed bean bags. It appears as though this is a re-occurring theme in the shop.

Well, Ritsu's spread out on top of Chiba. That's got to be awkward for the both of them.

"It's just…a cat. A black cat," Taira notes as the feline rubs itself against his shins. He stoops to pick up the dark blob with the teal coloured eyes from the floor. The cat mews and purrs as Taira strokes her. I can tell the smirk on his face isn't from the cat; no, like me he's trying to hold in his laughter. Chiba's got one hell of a comical face as Ritsu scrambles to get off of his chest.

They make a point to avoid speaking about that episode by going to explore opposite ends of the store and I bend down to pick up the tarot cards I dropped. Taira's beside me petting the cat in his arms while absentmindedly glancing around the space. I show him a couple papers with strange quotations on them. Except we're not really focussed on the papers at all. No, we're observing our respective best friends' behaviours.

"That was pretty golden, huh?" He murmurs. I giggle my agreement and crane my head around the bookcase to catch a glimpse of Ritsu. She looks flustered, strutting around and pulling at her pony tail (which Chiba got a taste of a minute ago). But, there's no sympathy for the devil. Besides, it's about time she had an embarrassing incident of her own. This is fodder to tease her about later.

What? She's always mocking me using the Sublime incident! It's high time for payback.

Speaking of animals, Taira's still holding the cat. Said cat is clawing at his shirt and stretching out at obtuse angles, which means he should put the feline down before it rips a hole in his face. By accident or on purpose, one can never tell with black cats. Not that I'm superstitious or anything…

Taira lets the cat go and it jogs away, glancing back at us capriciously. We exchange glances and follow the thing. What the heck, right? Just less than an hour and a half to kill.

The farther we traverse into the back of the store the darker and eerier the shop becomes. It almost feels as if the walls are becoming tighter around us, closing us in. It reminds me of an alligator chomping down on its prey and dragging them under the water's surface. Still, the cat's within sight, leaping over boxes and weaving in between glowing totems and glass balls. The smell is even worse in towards the back of the shop where there's little to no ventilation. I pull my shirt up and cover my nose with it. I'm not going to be able to smell a damn thing after this.

I'm leading so naturally I'm the first to trip over the multitude of fortune sticks that are scattered all over the floor. Luckily for me Taira has quick reflexes and reaches out to grab my arm before I can land in a world of pain. This shop needs a clean up…

Taira doesn't remove his hand from my arm. The grip softens but remains firm. Chiba and Ritsu are nowhere in sight, which means this would have been an opportune time for a quick peck on the lips but…the old lady glowering at us as we approach warily cuts any prior chances slim. She's got long frizzy hair that appears as though she hasn't washed it in…ever. Yeah, it's pretty grotesque. And here I thought Ryusuke's or Chiba's hair was appalling. No, this old hag has them both beat by a quarter mile.

"These are the two you've brought Baldwin?" The old lady asks the peculiarly named cat as it jumps up onto the little wooden table. There's four chairs around the table, but one is ridiculously high, the seat in line with the table's edge rather than under it. The cat paces over to the chair and sits arrogantly in it…before licking itself in its most private of areas. Why must cats always do that in my presence?

"Sit," the woman commands. Taira and I look at each other oddly; we hadn't even said we'd wanted our fortunes told. And jeez was this wrinkly old lady pushy. We sit obediently, since I at least came to have my future told.

"You…are a musician, yes?" the old lady questions, reaching across the table and taking my hand in hers for a shake. She drops it again limply a scant second later.

"Yeah, how did you know?" I query, surprised that this woman guessed right off the bat.

She snickers a bit, a dry scratchy sound. She could use some water. "Your hands are calloused with rather prominent veins. They give you the appearance of an older woman but at the same time shows the muscles in your hands are more powerful than most girls your age. Stringed instrument?" I open my mouth but she beats me too it. "Yes. Indeed. I see it in the stars." Despite the fact we're standing in a tent and about as far away from seeing the stars as we can possibly get. Her face is one of utter conviction. Slowly her eyes slide shut as she nods to herself, back and forth continuously like a rocking chair.

I don't know whether to be insulted about my implied elderly woman hands or not. I decide to just go with it; the old hag is probably crazy anyways. "So, are you going to read my fortune?" I finally ask as the woman's eyes jounce open. She smiles, a quick flash of half-rotted teeth that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and my skin crawl. She's fucking creepy.

"You're going to live a very long life."

I grin, "Really, that's great!"

"Wait," she holds up an assertive hand, "I am not finished. You are going to live a very long and miserable life. You will die alone."

My mouth drops open, "Wha, w-what?"

Her face remains stone cold as I grapple this tragic news. Suddenly her face splits into a malicious grin, "Haha, just kidding. You have to give me your palm before I can read your future."

I nearly topple over in relief. Taira too breathes out a puff of air, which tells me he'd been having a figurative heart attack. Shows he cares though, which could be better than anything the elderly coot has to tell me.

I offer my hand, "Alright." Beside me I feel Taira stiffen up and the lady yanks my whole body forward over the table to peer closely at the little lines on my hand, fingers lightly rubbing and nails drawing imaginary images into them.

Whatever comes out of this lady's mouth is going to be wacky, I can sense it.

* * *

**A.N.:** Pretty happy about getting this chapter out before a bunch of school work hits me hard. English class is going to be gruelling this year…erk.

Next chapter: what does the fortune teller say? Complete bullshit or truth? And hey, have any of you out there ever had an experience with a psychic or anything or the sort? Tell me in a review~

So, let me know what you think even if you've had no experiences in the fortune telling department…READ AND REVIEW is the motto! I always respond to every signed review I get because it makes me the happiest person in the world to receive them in the first place.

~Reiki


	17. Panty Pervert

**Author's Note**: Long wait is over! Rejoice!

**Amazing reviewers**: Deusluxmea, Gibson77, Itsuka and warning746! Thanks again guys!

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain.

**Warnings**: Rated for potty mouths and scenes involving violence and sexual stuff.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 17 – Panty Pervert

* * *

I couldn't help but grind my teeth after the crazy old hag of a fortune teller told Rylie she'd live a horribly tragic life. I thought there was a reason they called them 'fortune tellers' instead of 'misfortune tellers'.

"According to your palm it would be the most beneficial to use my second set of tarot cards for this reading," the woman mutters as she suddenly drops Rylie's hand. Her knuckles rap the table and embarrassingly enough the alarming sound makes my heart skip a beat or two. I watch the woman take out a stack of long and slender cards from some secret compartment under the table. All the while I stare on, my eyes reduced to angry slits as she sets them up meticulously. This could take a while. Where is Chiba when I need him?

At last when the old hag leans back in her twiggy chair she speaks, "Alright girl, point to the first card on the table you would like to reveal and we'll go from there."

Rylie swiftly points to a card near the upper right and the lady is quick to flip it over, exposing a rather nude female on the other side. I peer closer; not to take a closer look at the palpable bust size but to read the cursive lettering on the card. It reads The World. What that word has to do with the naked chick on the card I have no idea.

"Hm, a powerful card right off the bat; this could be more interesting than I first believed." The hag cracks the joints in her back and grins mischievously. "Achievement, glory, success, happiness…but it counters those first impressions with loss due to poorly made decisions."

The woman slaps the sleek face of the card with a weathered hand, drawing my eyes away from the naked chick and to the frizzled hair that frames the old lady's face. "A question to ask yourself would be: would you like to delay your success to stay where you are a little while longer?" The old woman's gravely voice sends shivers down Rylie's back because she trembles in place visibly. Instinctively I lean forwards and touch the tips of my fingers to her shoulder, tentatively. She briefly turns to glance at me with a thoughtful expression and then her attention is diverted back to the raspy lady.

The fortune teller flips over two more cards successively. The first reads; The Two of Swords and the next has Temperance scrawled on the bottom of it in old Gothic print. The old lady frowns and then smiles thickly. "The Swords are reversed here," she states. I tilt my head slightly: the card's picture, a scrawny man holding two elaborate swords, is indeed facing towards the woman rather than Rylie. "It appears as though you are not in a position to make any final decisions. This card, in this position, signifies much but it strongly reflects lies and a deceitful mindset. You have secrets, no? In particular ones that you are keeping from the people closest to you."

Rylie shifts nervously in her seat and says nothing. Neither denying nor approving.

The woman goes on, "Temperance on the other hand is a very docile card. It generally gently asks for balance. Paired with the Swords it seems as though you do not have balance at the moment. This could be because of something in the past that was deviously dishonest towards others, done by you or someone close to you. The Temperance card calmly asks for a reflection of your position."

She turns over a few more cards. One is positive and the woman explains it symbolises advantageous opportunities that would eventually present themselves. Another is also a positive card, this time The Queen of Coins, notable for being a kind and warm lady, bringing rich food, expensive homes and beautiful clothing. Material items, not bad, not bad. These things are probably the usual mumbo jumbo that all the fortune tellers eventually spew out.

The old frizzled lady flips over the last untouched card, revealing The Ace of Wands. "Yet another interesting card to look at considering it is reversed. This card tells me there could be miscommunication or dysfunction in a sexual or emotional relationship you are currently or will soon be in. It is however a temporary influence and when dealing with these problems it is wise to set frustrations aside and talk with enough conviction to make lasting changes."

The woman lets out a breathy laugh that scares the living daylights out of me. "And that is all."

I grab Rylie's elbow to steady her as she stands up quickly and wavers like a leaf in the wind. She smiles her thanks and takes hold of my arm for an added sense of security. I won't lie; I like where this is going.

I throw a small wad of one dollar bills from my pocket onto the table, unsure of their exact amount but the lady picks them up and throws them right back at me. I stuff them back into my pocket at her stern and altogether unhappy glare.

"Free reading. I don't need that. You do. I see much water seeping in through every crack and crevice in your future and it won't be pretty boy," the woman mutters, her eyes steely as she stares us down. Her cat purrs as it too leaves its chair and starts off towards the entrance. We follow the feline out. Frankly I'm glad to be rid of the place and eager to get back outside. That's more than enough shopping for one day. Any more creepy ladies and I might just lose what's left of my sanity.

* * *

Okay, being alone in Rylie's hotel room is really flippin' awkward. I mean, if I were a hardcore pervert I suppose I could sift through her duffel bag and steal a pair of her panties out from under her nose by stuffing them down my own pants but…I'm not that much of a pervert.

_Hey, you were thinking of it which means you were probably contemplating going through with the idea! You did seem to have it all planned out too._

No! No, I was NOT. Okay yes, the thought seemed appealing, but only for a moment!

_Hey. We've got about ten minutes before she gets back. Who says we can't do a little exploring while the bird has left the nest?_

I can't believe you have an underwear fetish Ra.

_You seem to forget that I'm you and you're me. I can't believe you have an underwear fetish Tai. _

Why must you mock me at a time like this?

_Sometimes it's good to play a little on the edge. Remember the show yesterday?_

Ugh, don't remind me. New Orleans girls are crazy. The stage should have been higher. A LOT HIGHER.

_Lower. I would have preferred the stage lower. At least then that girl who was trying to grab your crotch would have succeeded. I'm sure if you'd brought her back Chiba wouldn't have minded and we all could have had a wonderf-_

Woah, stop right there. That would never happen, not in a million years.

_Okay, I'll leave you alone for a while on one condition. It's a sort of 'search and destroy' style mission._

Don't you dare bring Iggy Pop into this discussion.

_If you touch Rylie's panties I'll leave you alone. Deal?_

No.

_Fine. Remember that time Ryusuke was drunk and he projectile vomited all over-_

Okay I'll do it!

And so, that was how Rylie found me two minutes later; limply holding a pair of her purple panties, standing above her duffel bag with my feet firmly planted on either side of it.

Needless to say she gives me one queer look. And I don't mean queer like a derogatory word for gay people, no, I mean it in the sense she was giving me the 'what the hell are you doing with my underwear' kind of queer look.

Though because of the fact I am indeed holding her undies it pretty much automatically gets rid of all my 'gay' qualities. Now I'm just another straight perverted man. Damn. I'm becoming more and more like Ryusuke and Chiba with every passing day on this tour!

"I-It's not what it looks like!" rushes out before I can think of something more snazzy to redeem myself with. She makes a strangled sound and clamps a hand over her mouth, adverting her eyes from me to stare at the wall. Maybe she's smiling?

_Or maybe she's going to projectile vomit all over-_

I said don't bring that up! Can't you see I'm in the middle of a crisis?

"I'm going to leave and then come back," Rylie announces as she removes her hand from her face, leaving behind a good-humoured smile. Score. Not mad at me for being a kinky dude. Life is good here people.

She turns on her heel and stalks out of the room, door closing with a curt _click_. Hurriedly I drop down on all fours and shove the offending garment back into Rylie's bag, tugging the zipper across to close it. Only I'm not successful in my endeavour as the zipper catches on the red plaid fabric and snags securely. Well, shit. Better to just leave it than to break the zipper off accidentally.

Rylie enters again just as I straighten up. I'm kind of giddy at the moment after that whole scene so I really have to actively resist the urge to say something like 'Hey baby, I folded your panties and put them away all neat and tidy.' Luckily I can restrain myself.

"So, um, I kind of wanted to talk about yesterday," she starts, tugging at the hem of her shirt. I have no problems with her pulling it lower, since that means more is exposed up top.

God, where the hell are these thoughts coming from today?

_Don't worry, I'm hornier than usual too._

Good to know it's not just me.

_Technically-_

Shush you.

Anyways, this is the reason I am currently in her room. She'd pulled me aside earlier but apparently had to create a distraction for her band mates, leaving me all alone in her room. Because, you know, her band mates can't know we're having these private hang out things. "You want to talk about the live performance? Really, I don't think it could have gone better for both bands. I mean, you guys were on fire. And that one guy who tried to feel up Kim got knocked out pretty quick, right? So there wasn't any real danger there, you-"

"Taira, I don't want to talk about the gig," she cuts me off tersely, a hint of annoyance in her tone. "I'm talking about the fortune teller and her creepy premonitions yesterday. Don't you think they were, I don't know, a little bit relevant?"

I blink rapidly as the image of the frizzy-haired hag appears in my mind's eye. Ugh. She's without doubt going to be the star of my nightmares from now on. "Well, yeah. Don't they get paid to be relevant?"

She stomps forward and grabs my biceps on either side with her small hands. "When she said all that stuff about relationships and lies and deceit I was going to pee my pants!"

I frown at the confession and lead her over to the bed, sitting on the edge with her beside me. She's shaking like Jell-O, mouth quivering and shoulders in a defensive hunch. "Hey, calm down." She shoots me a look that comes across as 'I can't calm the fuck down, I'm freaking out.'

"She probably only said that because I was there with you as your, you know," I hesitate slightly on the word, "boyfriend. She probably says the exact same thing to all the couples that come in there, just for kicks!"

"You think so?" She inquires hopefully. Her doe eyes stare up into mine with a shred of new found optimism.

I bounce my head with a sense of confidence. It's certainly the result of my testosterone flaring up again. "Yeah, for sure!"

She suddenly scowls, "But, I just don't like keeping this," she gestures vaguely to the both of us, "a secret from my band mates, you know? It's so hard. And I don't really like all the drama that comes with it."

"Neither do I but I guess we're going to have to deal with it, right?"

She hums her agreement and we sit silently on the bed for a moment. I'm very aware of the heat of her body next to mine. She has no idea how conscious I am of her right now.

"I've been doing a bit of reflecting like the old woman suggested."

"Oh?" This could be interesting.

"Apparently I'm out of balance and in no way can I make any final solutions. So I've decided that I'd work with my girls and maybe, hopefully, get you on their good side. Because I'm sure if you were in their good graces they wouldn't have a problem with you."

I purse my lips and shrug. "I don't think it has anything to do with me as a person. I think your friends are just looking out for you and trying to keep you at the top of your game. And they see me as an obstacle stopping you from doing that."

"We can't have that now, can we?" she asks quietly, talking more to herself than to me. I wrap an arm around her shoulders and give her a re-assuring squeeze. Something to say 'I'm here for you.'

She leans into me and rests her head on my shoulder. This is a nice development. Maybe I should kiss her. Or would that ruin the moment?

_Screw moments. Just do it!_

Slowly I tilt my face down and move my arm from her shoulders to wrap around her waist. This is going to be a slick move. That is, it would have been a slick move if the person pounding on the door hadn't startled Rylie into jumping up and knocking her head against my jaw.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry," she whispers frantically. We don't know who's on the other side of that door but something in me confirms that it's Ritsu. It could also be the fact that Rylie's sharing a room with Ritsu. Yeah, either way I know it's the lunatic percussionist. Who else knocks using a paradiddle?

I cover my jaw with both hands, fighting to keep from swearing as the pain takes over. As luck would have it I bit my tongue as well and I can taste that yucky metallic taste of blood filling up my mouth. I need to spit. Or swallow. Ew.

Rylie sprints to the door and makes a motion that I assume means I have to leave as soon as I can get out. She lets Ritsu in and for a second she stares at me critically as I hold my mouth and fight off tears. Hey, it hurts!

"What's going on here?" Ritsu asks lowly. I can feel her eyes burning a hole in my forehead and it's not a pleasant feeling.

Rylie pipes up before I can remove my hand from my mouth, "We were just discussing directions to The Black Pirate's Pub." Ah yes, the venue for tomorrow night's Atlanta show. Good quick thinking Rylie because I would've never been able to come up with a believable lie in this state.

"Oh?" She's giving us both a sceptical look. "But only one of you are going to be driving right? Well, whatever." She turns to me, "Saku's yelling for you. He seems to be in a lot of pain." She snickers and says under her breath, "He's being kind of pathetic for a drummer."

I resist the insane urge to protest for my friend, though Rylie shoots Ritsu a warning glare. "Thanks for telling me. Guess I'll go find him then," I say slowly, making my way towards the exit. Rylie nods and retreats to the back of the room to grab something, leaving Ritsu and I near the doorway. I try to bypass her but she steps in my path.

She gets on her tippytoes and leans in close to my face to whisper lowly, "Stay away from her." A threat? Why yes, that is what it seems to be. She steps around me and I dart out of there without a backwards glance. Then I book it all the way back to the room Saku and Koyuki are sharing. We have rooms on the first floor while the Flux are on the third. It's not bad having a floor in between us; I don't have to worry about Ritsu coming out of nowhere to beat Chiba's ass. Or mine considering I seem to be at the very top of her hit list.

Koyuki looks up from a rock magazine when I step inside. "Hey Taira." He peers at me closer, scrutinizing my face. "You look a little, I don't know, knocked up?"

I'm not going to bother telling him that's a crude way of saying pregnant. Let him say that to Maho some day. Oh would the sparks fly after that one. "Hit my jaw. Don't ask. Where's Saku? He wanted me for something…"

Koyuki points to the bathroom to my left, "In there running his hands under water in the sink. But the water doesn't get cold enough, he says, to really do any good."

I go into the bathroom and sure enough there's Saku leaning over the vanity into the sink. Judging by the look on his face in the mirror he appears to be in excruciating pain. More so than my jaw which has now numbed down to a sore constant throbbing.

"Hey, are you okay there man?"

Saku grunts and growls, "My blisters are all popping and some are bleeding and…argh, the pain just doesn't want to stop!" He pulls his hands out of the sink and holds them up for me to see. Sure enough they're quite grisly and I can't help but shrink away from the abominations. "I must have stripped some skin off moving amps or something, because this hardly ever happens from just drumming alone!"

"Think you're going to be able to play tomorrow night?" There's a degree of panic in my tone that his acute ears pick up. We are the drum and bass combo after all. He probably knows me better than I do, as weird as that sounds.

"Should be able to," he mutters. I can tell that he's going to hate every second of it though. Poor guy doesn't have the thickest skin out of the five of us, that's for sure.

I stand there in silence, mulling over his less than enthusiastic response. This could be bad. It's a good thing Ryusuke isn't standing here right now listening to Saku admit he's incapacitated. He'd be livid. No, I'm pretty sure he's out walking Sublime. They've really bonded by now those two. Maybe Ryusuke's just missing Beck and using Sublime as a substitute, who knows? Either way I'm cool with not taking care of the dumb dog.

"Taira, can you go see if you can find an ice dispenser somewhere?" Saku asks out of the blue. I stare at him incredulously before it clicks. Oh, okay then.

"You want to ice your hands?"

"Yeah, it helps with the blisters," Saku replies. He shoots me a winning smile through his obvious pain and I can't help but sigh and agree to do as he's asked despite my aching jaw. At least this gets me back out of the smelly room for a minute or two. The entire hotel smells musky in the worst possible way but the rooms are by far the worst. Maybe there was a serial killer staying here in this very room and he's hidden dead bodies under the beds? Hm. I don't want to think about that. Then again nothing's as gross right now as Saku's bloody red scabby hands.

So I go on the mission with a green tub that has pink dinosaurs splattered all over it, since it had been the only one I could find in the bathroom. I weave my way down hallway after hallway until I've searched most of the second floor. So, knowing there's nothing of importance on the first floor since I'd been looking around earlier I take the stairs to the third.

It's only too convenient that this also happens to be Rylie's floor. It's a weird feeling to be up here again after being practically chased down only a mere half hour ago by Ritsu. Of course all of the doors are sealed shut and uninviting. Rylie's not going to miraculously come out of one of them and spot me. Bad timing, bad luck, call it whatever you want, I have it.

I find an ice dispenser at the end of the hall next to the one-dollar-and-fifty-cents soda machine. Granted I had to scrounge up a quarter and it gave me mostly slush but it was good enough for my green bucket with pink dinos. I start to head back to my blistered drummer friend, wondering why he couldn't have done this himself. Then again, his hands were pretty grimace-inducing. I doubt they'd be able to angle the quarter into the machine _or_ hold the bucket. He'd probably end up coming back to the room with slush on his sneakers rather than his hands.

I turn towards the stairs at the opposite end of the hall. Time to go back to the room and give Saku his slush. Chance encounters would not be my thing today. Wait. Hold that thought. Door open, open, opening…ah crap.

"I have it in my best interests to push you down a flight of stairs," Ritsu snarls emerging from the cave of certain death and slamming the door behind her. The sound echoes throughout the hall, heralding my upcoming demise. When they find my corpse I'll perhaps be identified in the newspapers as the nameless pink dinosaur boy.

I will not 'eeek' in front of her like some preppy schoolgirl or Koyuki on a bad day. I summon the extra testosterone I have gained over the scant few weeks of touring and reply calmly, "Why would you want to do such a thing?"

I swear she's baring her teeth at me like some feral animal, "Well, duh, you're going to break my best friend's heart. It's my job to inflict harm unto you first."

"Woah, wait a second here! I'm not going to break any hearts okay?" This comes out pathetically weak sounding and she snorts in disbelief. Judging by the intensity in her gaze I'm guessing she's analyzing every move I'm making. And I'm slowly losing her game, whatever it is that we seem to be playing here.

"Just how close are you to her?" This is asked dangerously and I almost don't want to reply because whatever I say will have to be an outright lie. Ritsu is still oblivious after all. I can't exactly say I've made out with her friend and felt her up on more than one occasion, can I?

"Um," okay brain, think of something that isn't too much of a fabrication of the truth, "We kissed."

"You made out with her!" Her eyes are swimming with a mix of emotions. I think I see my immediate emancipation due to instant death in them too, but that is besides the point.

"It's not a crime to kiss somebody," I defensively argue. "Besides, you'd probably want to kiss my best friend Chiba if you got to know him!" Oh fucking pink dinosaurs I did not mean to say that. It just came out of no where, I swear!

Her eyes widen and narrow so quickly that if I'd blinked I would have surely missed it. She storms up to me, right into my personal bubble like before with a threatening gleam in her orbs, "I'd rather crush his skull into the pavement." The slush in my bucket quivers in fear. Wait. By the laws of physics that means_ I'm_ quivering in fear.

Relationships are usually more interesting when everyone involved has a different opinion. Well. I just hope I didn't help to put Chiba on the top of Ritsu's hit list. That's my spot, not his.

"Seriously though, if you try and worm your slimy way into her heart I will come and snuff you out. Clear?"

I have no choice but to nod and wonder if I'd already 'wormed' my 'slimy way' into Rylie's heart. Shit. Now I have a secret to keep hidden for my own safety as well.

* * *

It was my turn to take Sublime out for a walk after we ate at some crappy restaurant (it was cheap though!) down the street from the hotel. Ryusuke usually took over everyone else's turn but he'd fallen asleep within a few minutes of lying down on one of the hotel beds. At least he'd be getting a good night's sleep. Maybe if I'm lucky I can con him into driving for a good stretch tomorrow.

New Orleans was nice actually, but I'm more than ready for Atlanta tomorrow. Walking around I only passed a few people on a trail I found behind the hotel, those people having dogs as well. A Golden Retriever had bounced into Sublime's face and she'd snapped at him, but the owners were nice about my dog's mean streak. Then there was a little creature that looked like a miniature greyhound that Sublime avoided like the plague. I guess she didn't like little bite-sized dogs.

Walking down the little forested trail I notice the trees starting to thin out and the landscape becoming more airy and free. Without knowing it I'd found a little lake with a few piers where people had boats. I wonder if Ryusuke had discovered it yet. Probably.

"Need a drink dog?" I ask sedately. Sublime looks up at me curiously for a second before dragging me to the water's edge. There isn't much of a beach but it's a quaint alcove anyway. The huge motor boats spoil the scenery a bit though, in my opinion.

I let the Dalmatian go out into the water as far as the leash will allow. She happily wags her tail and does a few hefty excited jumps, splashing water around her and making a general mess of the bottom of my pants. I guess she isn't used to large bodies of water. Can Dalmatian's swim? Maybe they can, but I'm not taking chances by letting her off the leash, even if there isn't anyone around.

Wait. I'm wrong. There's someone at the end of one of the piers. They're wearing a black sweater with the hood pulled over their head. Best not bother them then.

Or should I? Considering the second they stood up and turned around I recognized them. Kim. She'd been sitting at the end of the pier alone. Sublime has recognized the scent as well because she starts whining and pawing at the ground in an attempt to make me walk her in Kim's direction. The commotion draws Kim's attention to the dog kicking up sand this way and that like a rabid animal. Now my wet pants are getting sandy. Great.

Sheepishly I wave and get no response though she's staring right at me. She turns away and sits down at the end of the dock again. At this angle I can see her feet dangling over the water.

Sublime jerks forward, upsetting my balance so much that I nearly face-plant into the nearest bush. She's grunting in her effort to pull me over to the dock so, with an exasperated sigh, I let her have her way. The way she's pulling she'll soon choke herself to death if I don't let her lead me. If Kim has a problem with my presence then it's the dog's fault. The dog wants to see her so badly she's putting her life on the line here.

Let's get this over with, shall we?

The treated wood that we traverse is weathered with age and rolled waves. It creaks as we stumble down it. I'm sure Kim can hear Sublime and I coming, especially since Sublime has started up a noisy racket by barking as loud as she possibly can. I try to prolong the moment Sublime and I reach Kim but Sublime won't have it.

Since Kim hasn't twisted around to greet us I make sure to slow the frolicking Sublime right down before the excited dog knocks Kim over the edge into the drink. Now that would be horrific. It's bad enough I'm on Ritsu's hit list but Kim too? I'd rather not thanks.

Finally Kim turns around and takes her hood off, reaching out for Sublime and grasping her collar. The dog tries to lick her face but Kim's somehow got her lying down flat with the wood. She strokes the dog as I stand there awkwardly holding the limp leash.

"The dog really likes you, huh?" I try my dandiest to try and strike up a conversation with this stoic girl. I'm not really good at dealing with awkward silences.

Kim lets out a breathy snort. For a second I don't think she's going to give me a verbal response but then at last she comments, "She's still a puppy I think. Rambunctious. And she doesn't know any tricks or manners yet."

"That's for sure," I agree, enthused that Kim's actually speaking to me. "I don't think she'll ever learn how to heel properly. She's strong for a dog too."

Kim nods her head but offers no further communication. She looks back at me for the first time after a minute of perpetual peace. "Aren't you going to sit? Or are you going to walk Sublime some more?"

An invitation to sit and possibly befriend Kim? I'll take that over being pulled around by a cow-hide dog any day, thanks. "I'll sit if it's okay. The dog doesn't seem to want to leave you anyway. I doubt I'd get very far on my walk."

She shrugs nonchalantly and I plop down on the other side of Sublime's skinny frame, letting my legs dangle over the edge as well. The dog hasn't gained a lot of weight, but she's getting there. A possible conversation starter.

Kim beats me too it just as I open my mouth. "I hope you won't tell Rylie I've gone and stolen her sketchbook."

I glance at the book in her lap that I haven't noticed before now. Shows how observant I am. "Oh, I didn't see that there. I won't tell her though, if you don't want me to."

She nods bluntly and stares out across the lake before lazily thumbing the pages of the sketchbook open. I can't help but lean over the dog to see the assortment of pencil portraits that fill up the pages.

She comes to one she'd been looking for. My portrait, the one Rylie drew of me looking utterly defeated on a park bench. "This is you, right?"

"Yeah, that was how we met," I tell her softly. I scrutinize the picture with an appreciative eye. The trees are still unfinished, the way she'd left them that time in the park. The only thing that had appeared that was extra was the addition of my name in the bottom right corner under the original title.

"We took art classes all through high school together." Kim laughs suddenly, as if thinking of some private inside joke. "She was always better than me at drawing portraits of people. I beat her at drawing realistic animals though, so she always got pissed off at me for that. She loves horses, but she can't draw a horse to save her life." I don't want to interrupt her when she's reminiscing so freely.

"We were so close in high school and lately I've been feeling that she's moving away from me." There's a heavy sigh from Kim that seems to drag a lot of extra baggage with it. "I used to blame you, you know." I straighten stiffly and she looks over with an apologetic face. "B-but, I don't, not anymore. I realized she was changing even _before_ she met you. Then I realized _she_ wasn't actually changing, but rather _I _was the one who'd changed. So, sorry I've been…touchy at best towards you."

"It's okay," I mumble almost inaudibly. Kim gives me a hesitant smile, but I can tell she's relieved that I'm not angry with her. Despite this new acceptance it still feels like there's some invisible wall between us that we have yet to scale.

We sit in more silence where the only noise besides the lapping waves against the shore is Sublime's frenzied panting. Finally I choose to cleave the silence in half by asking, "Do you mind if I pursue her then?"

"That sounds like a line out of an old Victorian movie." Kim snickers at my expense. "Seriously though, be forewarned that if you hurt her in any way I'll be coming after you and it won't be pretty."

"I seem to be getting that a lot lately," I muse. She gives me a knowing look that just screams Ritsu's name. "I won't hurt her. I won't," I affirm.

* * *

"If you get a great tone by slapping your bass with a catfish, that's all that really matters."

This guy I'm speaking to, this other bassist, is none too normal, nor is his band Lost At Sea. He holds this deranged plush fish which he claims, repeatedly, is the key to his funky chops. We had opened for his band and as a result I had gotten to see the fish-slapping firsthand. Strangely enough, it worked surprisingly well for his style. It was a little weird at first, but aren't all Americans in some way?

"I don't get how that works," I confess, gesturing to his fish in his hand. It's missing an eye, I note. Poor plushie.

He grins broadly, "Wire armature. Works every time. Vibrations man, vibrations."

I nod verbosely and bid the fish man good-bye, heading off to find Chiba and Ryusuke who are supposed to be hanging out near the bar.

I can't find the two jerks among the bar patrons. Looks like they forgot about me. Again. What is it about vocalists and lead guitarists that make them so egoistical? Would it have killed them to warn me as to their future whereabouts so I wouldn't worry about their sorry behinds? No. But I guess all the women in this place can become distracting for those two.

The club is starting to fill up with more drunk people than sober people. I've had my ass grabbed more times than I care to disclose and my front side groped a fair amount as well. I also narrowly missed getting puked upon by some slobbering fellow holding a pint of beer. But, luck is one my side for once…

Or so I presumed.

"Hey hot stuff!" Someone snatches at my arm and tugs me in the direction of the bar stools. I recognize her by her bobbed black and blonde hair as the giggly keyboard player from Lost At Sea. She's minuscule in size compared to me but her grip is like iron clasps around my arm. I won't be getting away any time soon.

"Mishy Mishy, drinks for me and friend!" The girl cries, hoisting me up onto a bar stool after her. At this point I've started protesting but the raging jukebox and collective scream of the other people in the club overpower my feeble attempts to get the hell out of there.

A few seconds later the Mishy Mishy (is that code for something?) bartender hands me a shot of what I think might be tequila or some other hard liquor. Maybe it's vodka? But, I'm not at all sure, particularly in this dimly lit bar. When I don't make a move to touch the diminutive glass as the other girl chugs back her shot, the keyboardist picks it up for me and tosses the liquid squarely into my gaping mouth. Pushy Americans.

Though most of the shot missed my mouth and ended up splashed in an alcoholic mess down my front some did manage to go involuntarily down my throat. The burning sensation does confirm to me that the alcohol is strong and I'm probably going to be _ever so_ _slightly_ impaired now. Great, now who would drive the bands back to the hotel? Koyuki? Hell no.

The girl orders another round before I can even think to stop her. I can't help but protest a little stronger this time. "Um, I have to drive later!" The girl looks at me strangely and shrugs. She almost certainly didn't understand a word I said in my shit English. Damn.

The next shot that came up I took and curved to the side with, dumping it quickly into some poor unsuspecting plastic house plant. The girl's too busy drinking to even notice. This time before the girl could order more alcohol I jump up and bolt, only to find my arm getting yanked backwards. I spiral around towards the girl and end up nearly on top of her as she jerks me closer.

The girl glares at me and then her face splits into a wide grin. She giggles and says with a slight slur, "You's not going no wheres."

I try to dislodge her but it doesn't work out the way I planned because she fell off the stool and ended up slamming me against a wall, her small body far heavier than I'd imagined. Now I'm pinned between a boozed girl and a hard place. This doesn't exactly look good either and I can see some people are giving me risqué stares. Others still were wolf-whistling at my expense, drawing more attention to my predicament. Fuck, am I ever screwed.

"D'aw, you're so 'dorable," the girl stutters, pressing closer to me. I wriggle in place, trying to push her off without hurting her but she has us tangled together so that my arms are pretty much out of order.

She nuzzles against my alcohol drenched t-shirt. Shit, she must be so out of it. Now that I think about it, she _was_ shuffling and swaying unsteadily to begin with when she grabbed my arm the first time. Wow, I've dealt with a drunk Chiba and a drunk Ryusuke but nothing could prepare me to deal with a drunk and sexually charged keyboard player.

Soon her body rubs upwards against mine, the chaffing rather painful considering all the bohemian bangles on her wrists and other hard plasticy objects that adorn her corseted body. Then her lips slobber on my neck and collarbone as she begins to kiss me, or at least do the drunken equivalent of.

I jump out of my skin, yet as I am immobilized I can't get very far into the air. "W-woah, I-I have a-a girlfriend!" Confessions pour from me like the drool from her mouth.

She pulls back, a toothy grin level with my chin. Her breath reeks more than the club's dank air. "Waz that? You want kissy?"

Obviously she's misinterpreting my broken English again. Shit.

Before I can say 'No, I really, _really_, don't want kissy' she's smashed her lips to mine. Unfortunately she's sucking the air out of me like a vacuum cleaner and I daresay I think I'm going to be suffocated. Well, my life has been good, I guess. Childhood didn't stink as badly as it could have and at least I found a good group of friends and-

Oh hey, she's letting go! Wait, is she passing out?

Oh no. OH FUCK.

There. On the horizon. Witnessing everything with eyes so betrayed they're filling up with tears. Rylie. Shit. SHIT, SHIT, _SHIT_!

Giggly keyboardist giggles one last time before she slumps in my arms, newly freed from her vice grip. I glance down in horror at the unconscious girl and, as Rylie turns away and starts pushing people out of her way towards the door, decide to just drop her. She makes a loud _thud_ on the ground and I quickly prop her up against the wall chivalrously behind me before stepping around her. A few guys jostle me about leaving the girl by herself but I break through their barrages, trying to keep Rylie's brown hair in my line of vision.

I nearly trip down the venue's stairs in my haste. I've lost her head of hair and in the darkness outside I don't know which direction she's gone in. I head left, jogging around the building. I come back after hitting an impassable brick wall. Then it's right for a ways. Then back to the van to check if she's inside. Nothing. Not a trace. Nada, zilch, niche.

She's gone like the wind.

* * *

A.N.: …OH THE DRAMA. It had to be done guys, it had to be done. Taira and Rylie were just getting too comfy and there would have been a serious lack of plot if they'd continued on their merry way. Sometimes I feel like the equivalent of Harold torturing Koyuki, but for me it's poor Taira who gets most of my attention.

This entire chapter feels like a bunch of foreshadowing, down to the word choice even. Hehe. And the fortune teller is pretty damn relevant if you ask me.

Tell me what you think, I love to hear opinions or even if you notice a mistake somewhere feel free to point it out. **Review**, **review**! It makes for **faster** **updates** as well!

~Reiki


	18. Duffy the Manpie

**Author's Note**: Back so soon, eh? The lovely three musketeers that reviewed the last chapter, this one's for you: Deusluxmea, valkyriepilot001, and Itsuka! Thanks guys!

**NOTICE THIS**: I'm sure you all remember the homosexual band that appeared in chapter…whatever that was. Anyway, there will be a 'homosexual' dude in this chapter as well. Don't worry, there'll be no kissy kissy or anything like that. Just jokes. That's all this story is good for, right?

Also, I just noticed that Fanfiction has seriously screwed with my formatting in almost all my chapters. So I guess I better fix it up soon. Sorry about that new readers.

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 18 – Duffy the Manpie

* * *

When I was younger I swore I'd never cry over a boy. That was a big fat lie to myself, though I hadn't known it at the time. Looking back I now realize that I was incredibly naïve, even though in my mind I'd been pretty damn smart.

Only girls don't just lock themselves in a bathroom to make a statement. No, I'm in here because I'm too utterly miserable to step foot outside the bathroom into the land of the living. I'm stuck in the land of the already dead and decaying where my mascara is running down my cheeks, giving me a face fit only to be worn by Amy Winehouse. The walls of the bathroom seem to be getting closer and closer together. But that's claustrophobia for you.

I found a rubber ducky sitting by its lonesome inside the bathroom's vanity. For no good reason I filled the bath tub with a thin layer of water and spent about ten minutes playing with that same duck, if only to get my mind off of _him._ Pathetic, I know.

"Rylie? You can't sulk in there forever!"

Chi's voice is annoyingly high-pitched. I cover my ears with two towels. As if sensing my mufflers she yells louder, "Rylie! Come out of there! Or I'm going to break the door down!"

"Oh please Chi, you can't hurt someone with your weak punches so how are you going to break down a door?" Kim's voice, soft and yet firm. I groan; Kim knows how to pick locks. It used to come in handy back in high school when we stole art supplies from the supply closet during the lunch hour but now her talent will be used against me.

"Never mind Chi, _I'M_ going to break down that door because I have to take a piss!"

Ritsu. Slams up against the door with enough force to move a mountain. Okay, time to clean up in here before that mountain gets moved. I wash up and don't bother to re-apply any make-up. What's the use if I'm going to break down in tears anyways at the most random of moments?

I emerge from the bathroom slowly. Too slowly because Ritsu tears past me and pushes me out of her way in her haste to close the bathroom door. I'm dying inside and she's concerned only with her bladder?

I at least have the decency to ask, "Where did Chi go? She was out here a second ago?"

Kim shrugs as she runs a comb through her long poker straight hair. It's grown out since the start of the tour and I know she's dying to get it trimmed. "I told her to go get me a Diet Sprite from one of the vending machines."

"That's mean; you and I both know there aren't any diet pop machines in this hotel. And she'll go to the ends of the earth to please you."

"Yep." Kim shifts from foot to foot, almost nervously. I can see clearly that she's gauging my face, all red and puffy from crying. Of course she knows why. She'd be a real jerk of a friend not to. "This is Queens, New York though, so she'll find me my soda eventually."

I turn around to face the wall behind me, before banging my head against it. I don't know why I did it; I guess it just felt good to inflict a little bit of physical pain unto thyself. Before I know it Kim's hauling me away from the wall and more self-harm. "Okay, you know what, let's go for a walk," she suggests quickly before I can protest. "Com'ere Sublime."

The dog visibly perks up at the mention of 'walk' and within minutes Kim has left a note for Chi and Ritsu (who's taking a long time in the bathroom – I hope the toilet didn't swallow her whole). "Okay, let's go before either of them show up."

Outside the sun is shining, the sky is blue and the smoggy haze over the bustling city that is New York is thick. Imagine maple syrup and one gets the thickness of this smog. It's a health hazard in the long run, that's for sure.

Kim's walking the dog along a path, letting the animal stop to sniff at every blade of grass. We don't make much progress considering we're in a city park. It's weird though; it's a little slice of nature surrounded by huge buildings that block out the sun. I can't say I like it much. Ryusuke on the other hand had been extremely excited when we finally pulled into the hotel early yesterday. Then that had been the last we'd seen of Beck for the rest of the night. The only person I saw this morning had been Koyuki and we'd met in the hallway when I went in search of the hotel's continental breakfast. It had been awkward to say the least.

Koyuki and I talked for a bit about nothing. Like the good little guy fresh from high school he vouched for _his_ behaviour at the Atlanta club the day before yesterday. But…I don't know, it sounded like something out of a teen chick flick. The whole 'it wasn't his fault because he was drunk, you should forgive him' just doesn't fly with me. Actually, if I remember correctly, the story had first been _he_ wasn't drunk then had magically morphed into _he_ was drunk. I'm not too sure what to believe anymore.

Man, I can't even say _his_ name. How sad is that? Plus, I have to use every ounce of my strength not to burst out into loud, snotty tears at this exact moment. I'm thinking about _him _way too much right now…

"Yo, earth to Rylie, come in starship commander."

"Huh?"

"I just asked if you wanted to talk about it."

"About what?"

"Taira."

"Don't say his name!"

"Sorry." She flings her hands up into the air in an exasperated motion. "I just figured you'd want to talk about him since that's the best way of getting over something like this!"

"I hate _him_. What else is there to talk about?"

Kim shrugs nonchalantly, a quick yank on Sublime's leash making the dog turn around and stare with her dark chocolaty eyes. "You know, I talked to him and he seemed like a genuine guy-"

"Ugh, yes, he did _seem_ like a genuine guy! I talked to him too!" I nudge my shoulder against hers in a sort of sisterly affection. "But he turned out like a guitarist. Figures, right? I should have known that with all the girls who flung themselves at his feet sooner or later he'd pick one up."

Suddenly she hammers me in the arm with her fist. "Stop being such a wet blanket!"

"Ouch! What the hell man! I'm going through a messy break-up and you have absolutely no sympathy whatsoever!" Opps, put sock in mouth. Now.

"What?" Kim stares at me blankly. "A break-up? Oh hell Rylie, I can't believe this." She stops cold turkey and Sublime whines. I shoot the dog a glare and the creature falls silent upon seeing the venomous streak in my expression. "You were dating him? This whole time? For how long?"

"Woah, don't freak out," I plead as she grabs my shoulders and starts shaking me. I don't know what she's trying to achieve here; bouncing the answers out of me or what? "Okay, stop! Yes, we agreed to date each other, no, not the whole tour, only for like…a week now? I have no idea how long it's been. This tour's messing with my perception of days and nights."

"When were you planning on telling us?" Kim inquires frigidly.

I swallow and find my throat as dry as the Sahara Desert. "Um, whenever you guys accepted Taira I guess."

"There, you just said his name!" I clamp my hand over my mouth and breathe raggedly. "Hey, chill out, you're going to have to say his name eventually. Better to start now than later. Have you talked to him yet?"

"Nope," I reply earnestly. "I figured I'd give him time to formulate a convincing lie as to why he was making out with a keyboard player."

"What you need to do is sit down and have a nice long chat with the guy, preferably so he can tell you the truth about what happened from his point of view," Kim coaches sagely. Since when does she know anything about relationships? She hasn't dated anyone in…ever. She's not really the person to talk to about this stuff.

Maybe she's right anyway? Maybe that's what I need to do. What phrase is it that those romance movies always repeated umpteen times? Get closure. Yeah, I'll go get closure by talking to the guy who smashed my heart into tiny fragments in a bar full of smashed people who were also smashing beer bottles outside on the walkway where I got glass stuck in my shoes. That's just smashing. It sounds like a cakewalk to me. No. This will be the epitome of shitty and everyone knows it.

"Maybe we should get a chocolate ice cream cone to cheer you up," Kim suggests wryly, knowing full well that I would _love_ one right about now.

"Hell yes," I agree to her proposal. If only Kim were a man; she knows the way to my heart. Sublime also barks her consent to the idea of a cold and tasty treat. Too bad chocolate is bad for dogs.

* * *

In truth I was at first dubious that Ryusuke had connections in New York. But, as the club reached maximum capacity because Ryusuke apparently 'knew people' in Queens, I became convinced this would be one high-paying gig.

When the Flux left the stage we garnished everything from date offerings to wolf whistles and death threats if we didn't play an encore. It wasn't as if we could anyway; Beck was up right after us with no break in between.

After I lock our equipment up in one of the provided backrooms I can't help but make my way back into the main part of the club where all the entertainment and noise is. By the time I get back with my girls in tow Beck has already started and I have no intention of getting elbowed in the face by any of the moshers, of which there are numerous. I jostle people until I can at last breathe properly in the musky air of the lounge which is as far away from the stage as one can get and slightly elevated. I can see everything from this angle; I'm just not in on the action.

Even though Koyuki's singing his heart out and everyone's attention is on him I only have eyes for one person, as cheesy as that sounds. He hasn't taken off his shirt yet, I notice, and I can't help but hope it gets hot up there soon, as naughty as that suggestion is. It's sad that even though he's gone and ripped my heart out I still admire his, er, physique. If I hadn't sworn to hate him forever I would've jumped up on stage, tackled him and kissed him senseless.

But that's the nature of humanity. People can be very, very vain.

Suddenly Chi's in my peripheral, tugging on my off-the-shoulder t-shirt. That's not a good idea because I really don't want to lose my dignity tonight, thanks. I snatch my shirt back with an edge of anger, though maybe not caused by having my shirt warped…she's interrupted my intent Taira-watching. "Hey Rylie, this fan wanted to ask us something! Maybe an autograph?"

"Oh, okay," I mutter as I peer around her…or rather, over her head. This guy's rail thin but resembles a ladder in height. He doesn't look gangly like one would expect, no, he has a rather self-assured posture, towering over us at what has to be no less than six feet tall. Immediately after I notice his style; very 80s glam rock complete with the big teased hair. This, ladies and gentleman, has the potential to be frightful. It might even reach the level of disturbing.

"Hey!" He greets me with great exuberance, daring to step around Chi and closer to me. "I'm Duff, a huge fan of yours!" This guy is all smiles, his long, obviously dyed blonde hair swishing as he nods his head with vigour. As his head dips I notice the dark roots and for some reason I immediately think of Taira. Damn, is this going to be a case of seeing him everywhere I go? Next thing I know I'll be seeing his smile in creepy old perverted men. Ugh, I hope it doesn't get that far.

"Yeah, hi," I answer, less than enthusiastically. Behind Chi I see Ritsu and Kim hanging around, shooting me looks like they know something I don't. Well, this ought to be good. I hope I don't suddenly die of a provoked heart attack.

"He's a filmmaker," Chi informs me. I blink as I process the underlying connotation of that. "He also does documentaries and music videos too." Oh. AH! Of course. Trust Chi to find a movie junky.

"I wanna be your groupie!" He pipes up. We collectively exchange looks of horror at this guy's suggestion. He _has_ to be kidding. Male groupies? Well, I can't say they're unheard of since Marilyn Monroe had her share of manly admirers but still…oh well, if male rock bands have female groupies than why can't a band of girls have manpies? Right? Still, I will have to say no to this one. He seems a little wacky. Even for my group of rag-tailed chicks.

Ritsu states the obvious for everyone, "Uh, dude, you're a _guy_." She points precipitously to Duff's man parts. Though judging by her facial expression she has a hard time believing her own words; he is quite feminine in his heeled boots, tight black jeans with a laced, er, crotch area and obviously excessive eye liner. "You'd be constantly trying to get into our pants. So no, sorry."

"Actually, I'm gay. 110%."

"WELCOME TO THE BAND THEN!" Chi shouts enthusiastically. "I've always wanted a gay friend!" She dances in place with her high heels clicking like the prospect is extraordinarily enticing. He grins at the easy acceptance while Kim sends me a concern softened stare. Oh is this ever peachy.

Just as I'm about to protest Ritsu drags me aside out of the limelight for a second. Even in the semi-darkness I can see the inhuman gleam in her eyes. "I have a brilliant plan!"

"Oh, care to enlighten me?" I ask sarcastically, glancing over my shoulder at Duff whom Chi has wrapped in a friendly, all too girly, embrace. They're laughing manically like old drunk friends and Kim's staring at them like they're from a foreign planet much unlike Earth.

Ritsu whips her head around, seemingly looking for eavesdroppers then leans in close. "We should use him to launch us into superstardom," she whispers conspiratorially. "Music videos are huge right now."

I groan; I had been hoping she had a plan for scaring the manpie off, not electing him into the band. Ritsu doesn't notice or doesn't care about my sour face and drags me back to the eclectic group surrounding Duff. What kind of a name is Duff anyway? It sounds like a mix between dumb and fluffy. Maybe I should call him Duffy.

I cut through the conversation by voicing my previous question, "What the hell does Duff stand for? Were you really born with that name?"

Duff looks at me humorously, "Actually, my friends called me Duff because I used to be a chronic alcoholic. Seriously though, I've pretty much kicked the habit. Well, kind of. I won't drink like I used too." I stare wide-eyed at him as he attempts to smooth his past over and throw rainbow glitter on top of it. "But hey, they used to call me Homer Simpson and then Duff, so naturally I wanted Duff to stick instead of Homer. So I dropped my real name. It was kind of lame anyway."

My girls give him confused stares but I just nod knowingly. "The Simpsons. Of course. Duff beer." He echoes my response as a final confirmation and Ritsu bursts back onto the scene by speaking quickly to me, and asking me to translate her speech for this guy. My girls were getting good at understanding English, especially when there's hand gestures involved, but speaking it…not so much.

I do my best to grit my teeth and just ask, "So, my friend wants to know if you'll make us a music video…or something?" I give Ritsu a mystified glare as she slaps her forehead and grimaces. "Er, what I mean to say is-"

"Woah, a music video? I'm in." Duff puts both hands on his hips and strikes a pose that I've seen Chi do _way too often_. Yep, definitely gay as much as I hate to stereotype. He's just way more comfortable with his body than most of the straight guys I know. "Actually though, I'm supposed to be making some kind of documentary type film. See, it's an assignment for my University class…I have about a month to shoot all the footage. So, I was kind of hoping to do something with a band I really like."

"I'm flattered," Chi squeals, stars in her eyes. "We'd be more than happy to have you follow us around with a camera all day!" Out of the corner of my eye I see Kim gag reflexively.

My life as I know it is officially over. Shoot me now.

* * *

It wasn't long before Duffy made the band's affairs his business. It was strange and I'll admit I didn't like his involvement in the least… that is until he walked us over to his 'equipment' van. I then realized like the secretly manipulative bitch that I am that we could potentially take advantage of the guy further.

Actually, we didn't even have to say anything. After we told him that it was the Flux and Beck travelling together in _one_ van he had a bit of a conniption.

"How can you stand it?" He howled as Ritsu laid down the groundwork.

Ritsu howls right back at him, "We can't! Well, at least_ I_ can't."

"It was fine by me," Chi mumbles, glancing across the parking lot at where Beck is loading up their gear into the u-haul. We threw our stuff in the back too. Technically, the divorce isn't final yet considering they just think we're over here talking to one of our fans. Not a complete lie, but they're going to be in for a shock. I'll imagine Chiba and maybe even Ryusuke will be glad to see us go, perhaps even performing a 'happy dance'. I…can't help but wonder about Taira though. I would imagine that it would be easier to forget about me if he doesn't see me almost every second of the day.

Okay, I won't think about him at a time like this! I need a clear head!

"So, we borrow your van and pay for gas and you'll come along for the ride and film us?" I look around at our group to see if anyone has any objectives. Kim has noticed the way I glanced over at Taira; she knows I just need a bit of time away from him. That or she's silently annoyed at me for avoiding the problem. Regardless she nods her approval stiffly. "Okay then, Chi can run over and tell the boys what's going on." Because I can't do it.

Chi gallops over and flat out pile drives both Koyuki and Saku in a jointed embrace. I wince despite seeing that both kids are perfectly alright. Judging by the way her arms are moving, gesturing vaguely in our direction she's telling them right off the bat what's happening. I can only hope everyone agrees to this change in plans.

"So Duff, of all the bands you could have chosen to stalk, why did you choose us?" Kim asks as we stand around in an almost relaxed silence. I can't help but groan at her choice of words though.

He seems eager to answer. "Well, there aren't many punk bands left…that are true punk rock bands. A lot of them are following the mainstream pop trends. I mean, take Green Day for example; they used to be punk back in the day but now they've gone completely commercial. It's not only that though, the fact that you're an _all-girl punk rock band_ makes you guys stand _way_ out." He pauses as if thinking, then continues, "Actually, I heard you guys were coming to this city a week ago or so from one of my friends at my University. She's a major fan and I'm pretty sure she's here right now…but anyways, I learned a bit of Japanese from this friend but I kind of want to learn the language from native speakers, you know? So that's another reason I tracked you guys down."

When he finishes his long winded response we all exchange looks that basically say 'oh yeah, this guys the real deal here.'

"I just think that documenting a band on the road as they rise or fall from stardom could make one hell of a video," he babbles on. "Besides, I'm sure you've heard the saying 'any publicity is good publicity.'"

"Well that's decent then. But, one more question, how the hell are you funding your involvement? We're going straight across the States back towards Seattle," Kim points out.

"Hm, I have the money and the time since it's sort of a summer project for next year's classes. We film all summer and then edit during the winter. And I might jump ship before Seattle, we'll see how much footage I can get in that time frame," he says slowly as if mulling it over. "But seriously, I won't get in the way if that's what you're afraid of."

"Oh hey, you aren't allergic to dogs, right?" I ask as Sublime's face passes through my mind suddenly. He looks at me quizzically, and I elaborate, "We have a Dalmatian we picked up along the way. And I'm pretty sure the Mongolian Chop Squad doesn't really want her considering it's our turn to take care of the dog. We alternate."

He shrugs, "I like animals." Okay, another problem solved with ease. This guy is a joy to work with.

So much so that we pile into his van upon Chi's return. I can see the estranged looks of the boys from across the parking lot. I wonder what they're thinking right now? Probably something along the lines of us getting raped, murdered and thrown in a ditch. Did Chi tell them Duff's gay? Wait, what if that was a lie to lure us into his trap?

No, he's definitely gay without a doubt. Sitting in the passenger seat next to him I just caught him staring at some guy's ass as he walked across the street in front of us.

He knows I know too because he turns to me and says with a grin, "That guy was hot."

"I know right?" Chi asks for a bit of confirmation as she smushes her face up against the window in the back seat, trying to catch another glimpse of the random person. I sink further down in my seat, to some extent appalled by my band mate's pant-chasing high-school-girl-esqe behaviour. This will be caught on tape for sure at some point.

When at last we pull up to the hotel and get back to our room with Duff in tow to meet the dog and show him what's left of the tour schedule it's almost midnight. I see the Mongolian Chop Squad drive in just as we get through the hotel's back door. I have to force my eyes away from the driver's side of that van, because I know a wave of unhappiness will hit me square in the jaw if I don't.

"So I'll meet up with you guys tomorrow morning then," Duff says as we walk down the halls of the hotel. I notice that he has a small camcorder tucked inconspicuously under his arm. I suppose I'll just have to get used to that constant feeling of being watched. "What time?"

"6AM too early for you?" Ritsu asks, eyeing the video camera scrupulously. I have this vague feeling that she'll be a spotlight hogger. That's fine by me. She can take my spot and be the star of the show.

"I'm an early bird anyways," he replies as I swipe the card key into the mechanism to open the room. We decided to lock Sublime in Kim and Chi's room, which was usually the ritual whenever we went out and couldn't take the dog. This time however we didn't tie her down to anything or 'crate' her in the bathroom.

That's where our biggest mistake was.

Ritsu located the dog under the slobbery remains of the floral curtains, fast asleep and snoring blissfully. The whole room looked like category four hurricane Sublime hit hard, the result complete decimation. Not even the lamp shade on the toppled floor lamp had been spared. There were teeth marks all over one side of the mini-fridge as well. Who knew the dog could gnaw into plastic?

Meanwhile Duff has whipped out his camera from under his arm and is filming the apocalypse. He's grinning like a fucking pervert in a strip bar at our expense.

"M-my shoes! T-they're r-ruuiinnnned!" Chi cries between fits of hiccupped tears. I can't help but roll my eyes; she has five other pairs stuffed inside shoe boxes from our trip to the mall. How can she be making a fuss about her shoes when we so clearly have just trashed our first hotel room?

Or rather, the _dog_ did it.

"And this is what happens when you leave the stray dog you picked up in Dallas alone in your hotel room," Kim says sombrely to the camera. She gestures at the floor that's covered in garments and to Chi wailing about how the dog chewed her favourite pair of heels, "I don't know what else to say other than the fact we're going to try and clean this mess up and hide most of the traces of Sublime's wrath from the housekeeping staff."

"What are we going to do now?" Chi blubbers, missing whatever Kim had just said completely. Kim smacks her head of curly blonde locks and tells her to get up off the floor and to come to terms with her turbulent emotions. Mother Hen has arrived on the scene.

I glance back towards Duffy near the door way just in time to see him click off the camera. The red light flickers out and he lowers the camcorder to expose his monkey grin. "Wow, talk about hilarious footage. This is definitely making the final product." I can't help but groan as I realize my ass probably looks huge in these baggy sweatpants. And he got a clear shot of my junk, I'm sure.

"Hey, I'll come over early to help you guys straighten up this room tomorrow morning," Duff offers as he rubs Sublime's belly. The dog had woken up at the siren sound of Chi's garbling and promptly sat herself at Duff's feet. She's wagging her tail and making tiny appreciative noises as he rubs her tummy. What a suck-up.

Kim practically has to sit on the dog before Duff can leave. I'm just lying face-down on one of the beds, utterly exhausted and wondering if the events of the last couple hours had really happened or not. But yes, Duff's deep rumbling voice is firmly stuck in my head. Shit went down tonight that has the potential to change my life – the question now is how many people will see Duff's final movie thing? Fucking fabulous.

Chi lies down next to me in a similar fashion. "So, we have a one-man camera crew now. What do you have to say about that?"

"I have nothing to say about that," I mumble into a pillow.

"What about Taira?" she asks next. Is she trying to get herself maimed tonight? First the gay dude and now the straight one? Can we talk about something other than men?

I become rigid. "I have nothing to say," I repeat snappily.

"I thought you loved that guy," she mutters. I flop over on my side to see that the room is empty apart from Chi, Sublime and I. Kim and Ritsu must have gone back to the other room. At this point I don't care if they've jumped ship or not. I can't blame them for wanting to sleep in a non-damaged room.

"Your concept of love is probably different than mine," I tell her. She rolls over and starts stripping off her tear-stained shirt. We're sisters; we can run around in the nude together without feeling awkward.

"I don't get why you're ignoring him though," she continues as her skirt flies across the room and nearly pegs the dog in the head. I have a feeling Sublime will be shredding that garment in the middle of the night. Who cares about the Grim Reaper when there's a Grim Ripper around? "I was there when that keyboard chick forced herself on him and it wasn't pretty. You saw that right?"

This revelation made me sit straight up at a 90 degree angle in bed, "What!" Not a question, an epiphany.

Chi sits up in bed as well, "I thought you said you were there?"

"I was there! They were making out against a wall!"

"No! Before that, he was being manhandled by that chick and it didn't look even slightly like he was enjoying it," Chi confesses with a hand on her chin, deep in thought. "And then after he dropped her and bolted somewhere."

With this tidbit of information the picture just got a hell of a lot more percipient. I flop back onto the bed dejectedly. "I think I just squandered whatever chance I had at being with him when we took in the homosexual camera-man and switched vans."

"Now, now, don't be such a pessimist." She twirls a finger around one of her locks of curls. "I'll bet if you explain to him what happened, what you saw and then what I told you he'll understand. Sit down and have a nice long chat with the guy." That's Chi's advice, which, oddly enough, mirrors the advice Kim gave me.

Kim was _so_ right. If I'd listened to her I probably could have avoided this mess.

* * *

True to his word, Duffy showed up right on schedule to help us camouflage our room and make it look like the dog didn't go ballistic everywhere. We started with the most obvious of things, like the puncture marks in the lamp shade, readjusting it so that they faced towards the wall. If we did this right we could get away with paying minimal fees for destruction of property.

Mr. Yamada will have a cow when he receives a phone call for damages…or, if we're lucky he won't find out until he pays the credit card bill. After all, it's his money that's going to pay for Sublime's doggy damage. I'm going to have to turn off my cell-phone today and maybe tomorrow. Wait until he cools down…

"Yo Rylie, set to go. Van is packed. Ready to rock." Ritsu's always blunt and to the point with her actions early in the morning. She usually ends up falling asleep in the backseat, waking up just in time for lunch. I assume today will be no different.

"I didn't see everyone in Beck this morning…only Koyuki when I went to get the keys for the u-haul and then again when I returned them," Chi mumbles as she rubs away any signs of tiredness from her eyes. When she removes her hand I see she's smudged her eye make-up. She's bound to notice it in about five minutes, since that's the usual interval for when she whips out her pocket mirror to check her complexion. She's self-conscious; everyone's realized that long ago.

"Do you think we should wait for them and check that they have the directions to the next hotel?" Kim asks this to everyone, but nobody really has much of an opinion this early in the morning. Ritsu could care less and Duff hasn't really met the other guys…

I answer collectively for the group, "Nah, they'll be fine. Saku's a really good navigator. Besides, we have the dog, not them, so they don't even have to worry about that extra addition." Sublime barks giddily upon hearing her 'species' name called out willy-nilly.

I'll admit this whole morning I've been tense, wondering when Taira would show up and what I would say to him. I suppose the first thing I should do is apologize. I don't want to have to beg for him to take me back though. Wait, what if he begs for me to take _him_ back? Then where does that leave us? Honestly, I'm lost at sea here.

Before long I'm shaken from my stalemate. "We've got to somehow haul ass to Chicago, right? I'll drive," Duff proposes. The offer is too good to refuse. I can only smile appreciatively and climb into the passenger side while the girls troop into the middle seats. Our equipment is packed to the roof in the back of the van, meaning no rear-view mirror for Duff.

I make sure to inform him, "We're stopping for the night in Cleveland, since it's one hell of a drive."

"Distance doesn't really bother me. You're talking to the guy who backpacked across Europe."

"Oh, well in that case knock yourself out," I tell him, hardly containing my excitement. At this rate I might not have to do much more driving! Guided by my enthusiasm I rush through check-out and soon we're on the road. The air is light and fluffy in this van, much more so than when we all cramped together into the other van with the Mongolian Chop Squad. Not to say this van isn't cramped though, but at least we're driving along in a _comfortable _silence rather than a _tense_ silence.

"You look a little down in the dumps this morning. Maybe even more so than last night," Duffy comments as we zip down the freeway bound for Ohio State. I don't know the exact time we're going to be getting into Ohio but it's going to be one hell of a long drive today. At least tomorrow when we get to our Chicago show it won't take as long.

I sigh, is my depression that obvious? "It's just…well, my boyfriend kinda but not really cheated on me. Okay, actually, he _didn't_ but I thought he _did_ and now it's just this big blown up mess and I don't really know how to talk to him about it," I ramble, realizing that I sound like a snivelling high school girl who's been dumped for the first time.

"Hey, I know where you're coming from," Duff's deep voice has an understanding ring to it. "My boyfriend cheated on me too. Only unlike yours he actually knew what he was doing."

"That's terrible. I'm sorry."

Without missing a beat Duff replies, "Don't be: it's kind of a funny story now. He moved in with me after we started dating and one day when I came home with a couple bags of groceries I found him in bed naked with this other guy. Coincidentally I accidentally broke the other guy's nose in 6th grade, so the look on his face when I walked in one them," he lets out a whoosh of breath, "priceless. They _ran like hell_. I don't know if it was because I had one angry face slapped on or if it was because I was throwing these tomatoes I bought at them but either way I chased them naked into the streets at 3PM in the afternoon."

When he finishes Kim's laughing her ass off in the back seat. Next to her, crammed in the middle, Ritsu's gone and slept through a perfectly amusing story. Her head is lolled back over the seat so I'm confident she'll wake up with a stiff neck.

"What did you do after that?" Chi asks with a snicker. "Your neighbours were probably debating whether or not to phone the cops!"

"Eh, nobody did anything about it since it was a pretty ghetto neighbourhood to begin with. I ended up selling that apartment and moving out of that town completely. But not before getting wasted with a friend and, er, spray painting my ex's car. That's another reason why I don't like getting drunk; I do stupid things."

"Did you get arrested?"

"Nope. I think I might have also egged his car that night too, but like I said when I'm drunk I do stupid things." I can't help but snicker at this.

It's not long before the conversation dies down again and both Kim and Chi pop in their earbuds. Kim's got her nose in a book and Chi's probably going to pass out on top of Ritsu any moment now. With earbuds in they can't hear all our equipment plus Duff's rolling around in the back. The u-haul looked pathetically empty when we left it this morning.

"Hey Rylie, you haven't told me about this guy yet. Kim says he's part of that other band you guys were travelling with," Duff suddenly pipes up, fingers tapping the steering wheel in time to the music pouring through the speakers of the van.

I take a second to sigh to myself before replying, "Yeah, Beck. Or, you might know them as the Mongolian Chop Squad."

"Never heard of either of those names. But, tell me your problem anyways." His voice suggested he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.

Reluctantly I told him nearly everything. I found that once I'd begun I couldn't stop, and I spilt over like a flood did dykes. We had the better part of a seven hour drive to cover all the details, right up to how the keyboard player supposedly jumped my boyfriend. Or was he my ex-boyfriend now? I admitted to Duff that I didn't even know the answer to that.

"It sounds like a salvageable relationship to me. Actually, if what your friend said was true then Taira did _nothing_ wrong." Duff flicks on his right turn signal and pulled off to a rest area, "Dog looks like she's going to burst any moment now."

Sure enough when I looked down at my feet where Sublime was nestled she was twitching at such a magnitude I thought she was having a seizure. I hurried to snap her leash on her collar and get her outside. She only made it one leap and a foot away from the van before she squatted and, well, did the doggy thing.

Duff leans over the seat and presses a button on a device that's bolted and strapped to the roof. I hadn't noticed its presence before now because it was directly above where my head had been. "By the way, I was recording your voice this whole time. I probably won't use any of it, but it was kind of amusing, don't you think?"

Oh he is going to die, so help me God.

* * *

**A.N.:** By now have you guys figured out who I 'physically' based Duff off of? I'm sure you have; they share the same _name_ after all, haha. Everything else though; different. Just had to have that reference since Harold based a lot of his characters off of pre-existing rock stars.

Ohoho, and only three friendly reviewers for the last chapter? Are you guys mad because I made Taira get manhandled by a keyboardist? Regardless, I hope you'll tell me in a **review **because I'd love to hear what you all have to say!

Oh, and I believe I wanted to ask if anyone knew the proper term for a man-groupie? If there isn't one, I like my manpie then. And I'm pronouncing it man-pee, even though it's spelt like man-pie. It's just the other spelling is awkward and makes me think of something other than groupie. If you catch my drift.

~Reiki


	19. The Love Machine

**Author's Note**: In which Rylie, um, shows her somewhat feminine side. LOTS of Rylie and Taira interaction here folks. This goes out to everyone who expressed the fact that poor Taira kept getting ripped off and never really got too close to Rylie. I'm throwing the man a bone JesseB954. Haha~

Special thanks to AoiKuroNekoSan, Deusluxmea, Kuro-puuAndFaiLuvers, Gibson77, Adhyaksa, and Itsuka for keeping me motivated!

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I do not own anything musical or Shakespeare related. I write to entertain.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and scenes involving violence and _sexual stuffs_.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 19 – The Love Machine

* * *

It was inevitable that I would get a visit from Ritsu at some point.

"I think you know why I'm here," she states evilly. I look around, terrified because I'm trapped in some sort of room with white cushioned walls. There's no escape route and Ritsu's descending on me like vultures to roadkill.

Before I can get away she's jumped on top of me and pinned me to the floor. A pair of pointy fangs hangs out over her purplish lips and I cringe as she narrows her catty eyes at me. "I've come to hang you by your ball sacks. Oh, and kill you, that too."

Suddenly a noose appears over my head and I scream in a rather girly fashion as she morphs into some heinous demon spewing black goo at me and abruptly everything's moving like there's an earthquake and-

_SLAP!_

"Taira! Wake up!"

I shoot up out of bed at an oblique angle and end up on the floor at someone's smelly feet. Slowly my eyes adjust as I stare upwards and Ryusuke's puzzled face becomes clearer with slight blurring around the sides of my vision. First thing in the morning I'm usually like a recovering drunk.

"You were howling louder than the dog," he grumpily states while I grapple to pull down the bed covers to give myself some privacy while I check to see if my balls are still intact. "I was shaking you but you wouldn't wake up without a slap in the face."

"Ugh, what a _horrible, wretched and atrocious _dream," I mutter to myself. Ryusuke gives me a questioning look. "It was a nightmare."

"Oh yeah?" Ryusuke comments just to be in on the conversation. "It couldn't be worse than my dream last night; I was in this bar and there were all these hookers but I couldn't get them to notice me and-"

"Shut up Ryusuke; I have a splitting headache and I don't want to hear about dream-hookers this early in the morning!"

"Someone's panties are in a bunch," Chiba mutters from across the room. He's sitting there fully clothed and thumbing through a, er, _gentlemanly_ magazine. Why he's looking at porn so early in the morning I have no clue but it's mildly disturbing to see him staring so intently and I–

Wait a second, there's sunlight coming through the window over there, "What time is it?" Before anyone can answer I grab the alarm clock and turn it around so I can see it. 12:01. Noon. "Why didn't you people wake me up? We're supposed to be _at least_ half way to Chicago by now!"

Saku, who's just entered the room with a plate full of some orange substance that could very well be macaroni, sports a horrified face, "W-what? B-but Chiba said-"

"I thought we got today _off_," Chiba defends as I hurry to dress myself in whatever article of clothing I can scrounge off the floor. Apart from my underwear and some cargo pants I wore yesterday that I stuffed under the hotel bed for safe keeping I'm pretty sure none of the clothing I'm putting on me is _mine_. Chiba's already wearing a t-shirt that belongs to me and Ryusuke has my previously yellow socks that have turned the colour of dirt. We need to wash our clothes in Chicago for sure.

I shoot everyone a wild look. "We need to leave! Now. Where's the…girls?"

Koyuki hands me a less than delectable banana and informs me, "They're gone. Chi came to get the u-haul's lock key a few…hours ago? Yeah. They took the dog with them too."

"T-they t-took off with t-that guy," I stutter, unable to believe what the youngest member of my band has just told me. How could this have happened?

"Um, yeah," Koyuki shifts uncomfortably under my heated glare, not meant for him but yet projected in his direction. "Taira, are you okay?"

No, I'm not okay. Uh, uh, that man did not just slither his way towards my Rylie. No.

Oh he will _die_.

"Let's go," I command, wholly resolute, "We're getting to Chicago, _on time._"

I have to get her back. And I have to do it fast because I can see that _Puff,_ or whatever his name is, is going to move in on _my girl._

_Your girl?_

My girl. Yes. That blonde freak is going to try and steal her from me and I'm not going to let that happen.

_Why must you always drag me into these plots of yours?_

We are attached after all Ra. You don't have a choice in the matter.

_Stupid Tai and your stupid reasoning. Someone's sexually starved today… What are you going to do then?_

I'm going to re-win her love and affection. Somehow. I haven't quite thought that far ahead.

_Great, Operation 'Save Our Manhood' commence!_

What do you mean by that?

_Oh please, you'd have to be ignorant and blind to miss those daggers that Ritsu was glaring at you yesterday._

No, I didn't miss those. They pierced. Hard. Enough to give me lurid nightmares.

_Hey Tai, guess what?_

Must I guess?

_You're a twat. I have a plan forming and I swear on our testicles that it'll work._

A twat? When did you become British? And please don't swear off the testicles. That's like swearing on my grandmother's grave! You know how I feel about that. She was such a great grandmother and I loved her so–

_Hey, don't get mad and sentimental all at once now. Okay, listen up; this is going to be an event for the ages…

* * *

_

I'm pining for her. That's what I keep telling myself as I stand amongst all the mid-day shoppers preparing to blow my measly wad of cash in one fatal hit.

Hm, but what should I get? Blue, green, silver, black…oh hell yes!

They have red! Oh rejoice! Wait, why am I so excited to lose all my money again?

* * *

"So, what did you go out to get?" Saku asks curiously as I return from my walk out on the town. He's flip-flopping on one of the hotel beds whilst playing his PSP. Must be a shooting game of sorts. Or a zombie mash-up.

"Um, yeah, I need your help," I confess, reaching into my plastic environment unfriendly bag and pulling out a shiny case. He sits up and admires it, whistling, his out-of-date PSP forgotten in his hands.

"You got that for yourself?" He inquires as I take the electronic device and hand it to him.

He takes the thin red iPod, examines it, and turns it over in his hands to examine it some more. Then he laughs. Hard. At my expense.

"Ahaha, y-you, hah, that, oh man Taira, that's the cheesiest line I've ever heard!" He studies the laser engraving on the back of the iPod further and smiles smugly. I resist the urge to punch him because I still need his assistance in setting the damn thing up. I was never too good with electronics.

"What? You don't think it will work?" I enquire sceptically.

"_You make my heart thump. _Is that supposed to be a bass joke?" Saku asks between fits of giggles. I glare; damn right it is. He gets the picture and stops ridiculing me for the moment. Besides, I could think of a dozen bad drummer jokes off the top of my head to combat him with.

"Okay, I need you to help me put this mixtape I just created on this thing. Can you take music off of my iPod and put it on hers?" I ask, silently freaking out because my whole plan hinges on this. What good is an MP3 that has no music on it? That's like buying an album only to find out the CD is blank.

"Um, I need a computer," he says, flicking the switch on his PSP off to give me his full attention. I mull this over; in truth I hadn't thought of this. Why must I always forget the small things? Am I really this scatterbrained? I sulk and stare at my big fat waste of money. "Oh hey Taira, Kim has a laptop if I remember correctly! Go ask if you can use hers."

"I can't; she'll rip my throat out," I mumble, trying not to let my fear show through.

Saku frowns and lies back on the bed, taking a moment to study the water marks on the ceiling. "Here; I'll go ask her for it."

I brighten considerably, trying my damndest to mimic a lighthouse with my beam of positive energy. "Really? But you can't tell her about the iPod because I want it to be a surprise. If Rylie knows its coming I don't think it'll have as much of an impact as it could potentially have." And that's what I'm going for; impact like a cannonball to the hull of a pirate ship. One cannot win back a girl on prissy flowers and sweet talk. Well, not that I've tried. I just don't want to cheap out on Rylie of all people. That would undermine everything I've done for her thus far.

Wow, I must be serious if I'm using the word 'thus'.

After Saku leaves on his quest I pace the perimeter of the room exactly seven times. Why seven times? Because seven is apparently my lucky number, even though it's an uneven number and arguably _un_lucky.

But, to me it's lucky because Saku comes back with the damned laptop, all in one piece. Saku, I mean. He could have been castrated by Kim _or_ Ritsu, or even a combination of the two.

I refrain from hugging the daylights out of the boy and let him set up the little computer, my iPod and some cable things that I have no idea about. I'm truly the least tech-savvy in Beck, besides Koyuki that is. Who set up my own iPod? Saku. Who fixed my home computer when it buggered up? Saku. Who figured out what made the stove catch fire a few months ago? Saku again. He's a saviour that kid. Like the nerd equivalent of Jesus. But not because that would imply that he's as holy as the bible which he certainly isn't from what I've seen him do.

I watch intently as he tinkers with things in the media player, registering the iPod and such. He turns around after reaching the 'name your new device' screen, quirking an eyebrow. "Okay, what do you want to call it? Just iPod? Rylie? Rylie's iPod?"

"Hm, no, something more creative," I muse, putting my figurative thinking cap snugly atop my head. "I can't really think of something good right now. Maybe a song title? No, that would be awkward if she didn't recognise it."

Saku starts to smile, then snicker and soon his fingers are flying on the keyboard, hitting the keys at the speed of light. I crane my neck over his shoulder to take in the little screen, peering closely.

"Aw hell no!"

"Too late! I already entered it!" He proclaims fending off my hands reaching to strangle his thin neck.

"Well, change it," I insist dangerously, ready to rip out what was left of his insanely short hair.

He regards me with a smirk, "I can't." He's taking advantage of my computer-illiterateness. He's lying, he has to be. He has a nervous quirk that involves his eyes opening more than a millimetre. "Now, what's so bad about 'The Love Machine' anyways? It's _red_ to boot!"

I sputter, "B-because it _implies_ something else!" He smiles mirthlessly. No, he is in no way holy if he was already thinking about the nasty when naming my gift. Great, now I have to live with this.

Grudgingly I pull out my own iPod and he hooks it up and rips music off of it. The entire process is lost on me, the stupid inept one, and before I know it he's already questioning my choices for a mixtape. He's even questioning the mixtape concept itself.

"Isn't it a little, I don't know, _old fashioned,_ to be making a mixtape?"

I scoff, "It's not _really_ a mixtape, it's a playlist! Just put it on there. In the same order as the one I made here." I shove a piece of paper under his nose and he scans my choice of music before bursting out into gales of laughter.

"T-The Police, _So Lonely,_ first!"

"Well, it does say something, doesn't it?" I defend, my feathers ruffled the wrong way.

He snickers, "I guess." He clears his throat, holds up my paper and dictates, "Pink Floyd, _Wish U Were Here_; Spin Doctors, _Two Princes_; Living Colour, _Broken Hearts_; Bjork, _Come Back To Me_…" he trails off as he gradually breaks down again in giggles and snorts.

Giving him the elbow in the side I grunt, "Shush you. Those songs get the message across."

"Fine, that's true. I just can't believe you want to woo a girl with The Replacements, The Pogues and Fun Boy Three, that's all. And I don't see how The Doobie Brothers are relevant, but I guess Lifehouse and John Mayer are."

I restrain myself from kicking him because I still need this to work out. I take a deep breath and pace the room another seven times. For every step I take I hear an audible clicking sound from the mouse under Saku's control. "Just put them on Rylie's iPod already."

"Already done," he calls over his shoulder, "I'm just playing a game of solitaire now."

Wow, shows how incompetent I am with computers. "Oh. Then hand it over dude."

"Aye, aye, Captain," he salutes me and plops the device into my hand, wrapping the synchronization cord around my arm, "Here you go."

I thank him, ruffle his meagre amount of hair which pisses him off and makes me feel oddly content, then scurry off to find my target.

* * *

I spend ample time staring at the wood grain on Rylie's hotel door. There's an odd chance that she might not even be in. There's also a chance that the beastly drummer resides in that cave. I don't have the proper equipment to slay the dragon. And I'm not talking about what's in my pants because I'm pretty sure _that_ equipment is still intact. I'm talking a freakin' sword and preferably a shield. Ritsu, like most scaly dragons these days, spits fire hot enough to rival the sun.

Warily I raise my hand to the door. To knock or not to knock? To be or not to be – that is the question. Screw it, I have to win her back before this _Puff_ guy does! Now's the time to summon the testosterone stored in me and just go ahead and–

"Hey Taira."

I spin around on a dime. "Uh, hi Rylie. Um, well, I was just waiting for you and, uh, well, you see I was kind of–"

She takes my hand in hers. It's oddly warm but not slick with nervous sweat like mine is. "I need to talk to you. I…made some bad assumptions, like usual." She looks down at our entwined hands, crestfallen, sort of slumping towards me.

_Woah, look at her knockers from this angle._

Not now Ra; trying to win the girl here, not daydream about her chest size.

_Sorry._

"Can we go somewhere to talk?" she asks softly, giving my hand a tentative squeeze.

_Anything you say baby._

Ra, seriously, I will become asexual if we don't get this girl back.

_Is that a threat of sexual hindrance? _

You can consider it one.

_Okay, I'll shut up now._

Rylie leads me down the cramped stairwell at the side of the hotel and out the back. There's a tiny flower garden just off the side with a view of Lake Michigan. There's even a small two person bench strategically placed between an overabundance of orchids and daffodils. This is turning out more romantic on her part than I could have ever pulled off given the circumstances. Damn, she's good.

We end up sitting down on the bench and I don't get to pace around its perimeter seven times, which means I might not be lucky enough to get her back. Wow, my mind is twisted today. I don't know what's wrong with me. I figure it's the visit to the supernatural wrinkled hag that has brought on this paranoia of numbers.

"I have to apologize for assuming you were, um, cheating on me," She confesses. "I didn't know what had happened and I didn't exactly stick around to find out…"

She has since dropped my hand and I figure I should be a bit more forward with my intentions so I drape an arm around her shoulders. I pull her into me, relishing in the fact that this bench is bloody miniscule and if we did try to put space between us it would be quite uncomfortable. She is content as far as I know to be smushed up against my body, not that I'm complaining.

"Hey, I'm really sorry that it even happened in the first place. I tried to look for you but like you said–"

"I'm sorry," she interrupts, cringing, the movement making me hug her closer still. This bit of intimacy more than makes up for the hazardous drive to Chicago. Who knew there were so many deer with suicide wishes? It had been like playing an actual racing game and dodging obstacles today. And I won't even begin with what the pedestrians were doing. That's a whole other ball game.

"Can we forget that incident ever happened?" she asks vigilantly.

It's hard to refuse this girl anything. "Yeah, of course." She sighs in relief, the air leaving her lungs also moving out any air between our bodies. She leans her head against my shoulder and I can't help but wonder if this is another opportune moment to take advantage of.

I decide to be blunt, "Can I kiss you?"

She angles her head up to look me in the eyes and smiles. Taking this as a good sign I tilt her head towards me slightly with my shoulder and capture those pink lips. There's a certain feral ferocity in the way she snakes her fingers through my hair to push our kiss deeper that gets me aroused. Embarrassingly enough.

As our making out escalates to steamy highs and our hands exchange gentle squeezes and gropes I become acutely aware of how badly I wish we were alone in a bedroom instead of sitting on a public bench outside of a hotel filled with our friends. The second she retracts her tongue and moves off of me I think that she's realized how exposed we are but, much to my entrancement, she instead moves in once again. This time however she's hovering over my lap with one knee on the other side of my thigh.

With hands on her hips I pull her in so she's straddling me and make a dive to ravage her mouth again. I had forgotten the part where I was, er, _aroused_. Her wriggling quickly reminds me and I moan lowly, trying to conceal myself, hoping she hasn't quite figured it out yet.

The chaffing of her jeans against my own pants coupled with my stupidly tight boxers makes this utter torture yet strangely heavenly.

"I can feel you," she taunts, hot breath on my face as she kisses along my jaw line. I freeze nervously but am relieved that she isn't freaked out. If anything, she's showing me a flattered expression and a small, knowing, smile.

She gives me another little peck on the lips before brushing her soft cheek against mine as she lets me kiss her jaw, moving up towards her ear. I place my lips hesitantly on her earlobe and squirm as she licks me opposite. I can't help but inhale deeply, contentedly, taking in her better-than-perfume-like scent that clings to her hair and skin. She must use strawberry shampoo or something equally delicious.

"Oh my God, that old man's watching us," she suddenly murmurs in my ear. Without warning she gets up off my lap and glares, heatedly, in the direction of a skinny bald guy hunched over a walker. He must be about eighty: he's ancient. I make to spring up, intensely conscious that I'm exposing my desire clearly through the bulge in my pants.

The man flashes us both a pervy grin and makes his getaway with his walker, clattering as he pushes it along aided only by the downhill slope of the pavement. Annoying old men and their espionage habits cause me to feel quite violated. If only I had realized that we were in sight of the parking lot. Well, the handicap parking anyway.

I grind my teeth as we glance around, trying to catch sight of any other peeping Toms out there. Though, it's our fault mostly with the whole _public_ display of affection thing. I couldn't help it, when she crawled into my lap my common sense crawled out of my brain. Who knows who could have seen us?

If Ryusuke or Chiba had I wouldn't hear the end of it for weeks. It might even have been the end of lil' old me if Ritsu had seen us.

Presently, this is one hell of an awkward moment. It's now that I finally remember what I set out to do this morning. It seems like a good awkward-silence-breaker.

"I got a gift for you. Um, as an apology and…stuff." I think I win the not so eloquent award, hands down.

I rummage around in my cargo pant's pockets, trying to locate where the hell I'd stored the damn thing. There's one too many pockets on these things. What the hell am I expected to store in these, my fucking _life_? Is this supposed to be a substitute for a woman's purse? Yes, yes it is.

She giggles lightly, "Your cargo pants have too many compartments!" I smile sheepishly as she continues to laugh endearingly. I'm a stickler for laughs, I'll admit it. I can't stand a high-pitched girly giggle so Rylie's deeper contralto tone is lovely in my ears.

At long last my fingertips touch on the familiar plastic case of the item I seek. I grasp it in my hands but don't pull it out. This is about when I start to wonder whether I should make her close her eyes or not. Hm, would that be too much? Maybe.

"Found it," I whisper as I take the little thing out. It fits squarely in the palm of my hand so she doesn't really get a good look at it before I give it to her.

When she sees what it is she's holding in her hands she gasps and sputters. "I-I can't accept this!"

"What? B-but, you have too!" I wail right back. Talk about a bad gift reaction.

"It costs too much!" she proclaims.

I groan at the active resistance and step forward to say a most cheesy line, "So what? You're worth it." This sounds dangerously like that L'Oréal commercial slogan.

And she bursts into tears and hugs me close to her, mumbling something unintelligible into my shoulder which, at this rate, is going to soon be very, very wet. I hadn't quite anticipated such a strong reaction so I'm at a loss for what to say and do. I certainly hadn't expected her to bawl her eyes out. Rubbing her back seems to help make her words more comprehensible.

"I-I wish I had s-something to give you!" she sobs despairingly.

I hold her tighter and nuzzle back into her strawberry scented hair. "I don't really _need_ anything," I admit. Except her maybe. Yes, that I might not be able to live without. "Except you."

This sets her off on another crying tangent. I swear if I knew the iPod would cause this much of a problem I would've thrown it into a bush rather than given it to her.

"How can you be so sweet! Why couldn't you have been a jerk!" she suddenly wails, clutching the front of my t-shirt with renewed vigour. She mumbles a few more tidbits into my neck, none of which I catch.

"You want me to be a jerk?" I repeat, confused.

"No, but if you were it would make it so much harder to avoid…" she trails off, finally realizing that she's unconsciously rambling.

"So much harder to avoid…what?" I press lightly.

"Nothing. Never mind," she replies hastily before sealing our mouths together in a frenzied kiss. I decide to just let it all go for now and embrace her fully as she slides her arms around my neck possessively. We're like an ocean in a sense, we start off rough and turbulent and gradually calm down to a smooth standstill. Her last kiss lingers as she pulls away to look me in the eyes. "Thanks Taira."

I hold my tongue before I can ask 'For what?' Instead I just offer up a blissful grin, glad that she's not tearing up anymore. That had been a bit more dramatic than I could handle.

She holds up the little red device, its presence having been almost forgotten by me. "So, I guess I'll use Kim's laptop to put some music on it, huh?"

"I already put _some_ stuff on it. I made a mix for you." She opens her mouth to exclaim and I rush to beat her to speaking, "Wait to listen to it when I'm not around!" I don't think I can stand the humility. Or anymore tears today for that matter. Heightened emotions are not my forte.

"Taira…I don't even know what to say anymore," she admits, craning her neck up to give me her undivided attention. I can't help myself as I lean down to kiss her again, softly. She takes my hand in hers and we walk away from the ogling of any more old men to find some place more desirable.

Besides, we have a few hours to kill before our Chicago performance. Might as well make good use of them.

* * *

There's always that air of anticipation as the crowd looks up at you on the stage, getting ready to play. This is our second set of the night and, after this, we head back to the hotel for a well-earned rest. The Flux is already done and I can see Rylie watching me from the side of the room, Kim flanking her. From what I garnished as we did sound check hours ago Kim has since forgiven me for any misconduct I seemed to be associated with. This is all well and good because Ritsu's still giving me edgy looks. I wouldn't be able to handle a tag-team of them but I might be able to fend off one until help arrives.

Ryusuke gives me a signal that I interpret as 'start our next song'. I crack the stiffness from my knuckles and launch into a bassline, intent on playing it flawlessly. Anything less would be embarrassing from a senior member of the band.

Saku, Koyuki and Ryusuke join in with my rumbling, the shrieking of the guitars and the crowd is going ballistic. It might just be all the alcohol being sprayed up into the air or being consumed but it's a damn good feeling to have some screamers in the audience tonight.

We jam continuously, encouraging the hoots and howls from the crowd to grow louder. I play hard, hard enough to break off my g string with a _POP_, and proceed to do the fastest string change of my life. Luckily Saku uses his kick drum to mask the fact that I'm down for a few minutes, though this doesn't go unnoticed by Ryusuke who rips into a guitar solo designed specifically to put a veil on me. I'm actually kind of grateful that they're trying to save my ass.

We plough into a couple more songs with vigour and it's at this point I realize that everyone's drunk out of their skulls because more people keep climbing onto the stage to stage dive off again. One man clutching a Corona beer abandons his alcohol and the murky substance coats the area by Chiba's and my feet.

Everyone except Chiba notices this when he goes to do a glorified stage dive, running at breakneck speed from one end of the stage to the other at the conclusion of our set and slips upon the slick surface. What happens next is nothing short of the bowling ball and pins effect. Those girls standing in the front howling enthusiastically for fifteen minutes straight turn into girls screaming bloody murder and trying to get an inebriated lead singer off of their stomachs. One of them is frantically beating him so I'm guessing he had the opportunity for a quick grope here and there.

Chiba has had too much to drink tonight I'm afraid.

Ryusuke is too busy laughing to help Koyuki and I rescue our singer from getting his balls kicked in. I suppose he deserves a moment to laugh at Chiba considering earlier on in our first set he had a half-eaten cheeseburger sitting beside his pedalboard which he stomped into oblivion, mistaking it for his overdrive pedal. That had been his dinner and the sound engineer glared at him until he scrapped it off the stage and cleaned up the mess.

We finish the gig and clear out as fast as we can, half of the team embarrassed on Chiba's behalf and those on the other side laughing various drinks out of their noses. Well, mainly Ryusuke.

I wandered outside to get some fresh air and skip the after party in the bar above the venue. What I didn't expect to find outside was the _Puff_ in all his stumbling and drunken splendour.

"Taiiiraaa," he slurs, draping an arm across my shoulders. The dead weight nearly causes me to crumble inwards. "Whass up?"

"Um, not much. Just…chilling out," I say through clenched teeth. I decide to point out the obvious, "You seem awfully drunk tonight."

He giggles. Yeah, _giggles_, before telling me, "I am drunk, yessireee." He flops to the side slightly, losing his balance which drags me into him. His long artificially coloured blonde hair smells like rat piss. "I hafta tell ya a secret."

"Okay," I say slowly, trying to ease him off of me ever so slightly. "What is it?"

He gets all withdrawn and shy all of a sudden, slinking away from me and leaning up against the wall of the riotous building. "It's baaad," he bleats like a lamb. If this weren't such an awkward situation I would be chuckling at his expense. "Real baaad."

"Just tell me Puff," I command, eager to get away from this frivolous man.

"It's Duff," he snaps indignantly. He fixes me with a glare than would have been scary save for the fact he's wearing copious amounts of makeup and generally is reminiscent of a huge doll. Finally he gathers himself together again, "I sold van. My van. I sold it." He repeats this several times like a broken record as if I'm the one who should be giving him a solution to his problem.

"You…what? You sold your van!"

He nods a shaky confirmation and I look to the left of him for the first time to see somewhat familiar equipment out on the curb. It's recording equipment for the most part. Video stuff. I groan as it all adds up.

"Why the hell did you sell your van?" I grumble as he once again supports himself using my shoulder. "I thought you were coming across the country with us?"

"I'm a gonna get a ssmart carrr," he slurs and giggles, his bony fingers digging into my shoulder. "But you's gonna have ta…uh…" he ponders for a moment. "Oh, I forgot."

I open my mouth to protest my body being used as his personal lean-to but he suddenly remembers. "Oh yeah. Guess the girls are gonna have ta move in with yous again. In the van I mean." He snickers as if it's a funny joke and I have to summon all of my self-restraint not to knock him over again. Taking advantage of our positions further he wraps his arms around me.

"And I need ta tie my stuff on the top of your van," he mumbles into my ear. The stench of alcohol on his breath is revolting and I struggle to push him off of me. He loses his balance as I give him a slight shove and topples over like a domino. God, he's worse than Ryusuke. Here I thought I'd never say that. Ever. The times they are a-changin'.

I wonder if this constitutes as kicking a man while he's down. I _did_ just topple him drunk.

My conscious and inner angel eat away at me until I help him to his feet again. He's one of those giggly types of drunken men. There are a few types that could be worse; the violent and harshly outspoken type, like Chiba, the flirtatious and groping type, like Ryusuke, and the vomiting type, also known as the one and only time Saku drank alcohol.

"Ya know, you're realllly hottt," he slurs, getting a bit too snugly-wuggly for comfort. "Rylie's soooo luckyyy." I think I also hear him mumble something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like, "Damn, I'd so do you in a second." The thought gives me chills in the hot night air.

"Wait, are you implying that you're attracted to me?" I ask incredulously. Oh no, _not_ again.

He huffs in exhaustion as we walk along, probably from carrying his body mass as well as his weight in beer. I'm trying to get him back to the front steps of the venue to sit him down and clear his head. "I don't know if I'd date ya," he admits slowly. "But you're hottt," he says assuredly. I dump his ass on the concrete steps and take a step back just as he keels forward and vomits, miraculously missing his heeled boots. He is ridiculously tall after all, much like a jewellery studded giraffe.

"This whole time I had no idea that you weren't straight and hitting on my girlfriend."

He giggles loudly, "No, and I guess I shouldn't hit on you either."

"No, no you should not," I answer firmly. "Seriously though, does Rylie ever talk about…?" Wait a second, why am I asking a drunk a serious emotional question that has been plaguing me for the past couple of hours?

"'Bout what?"

"Um, about me. Does she ever talk about me?"

Duff stares at me as if I'm the biggest loser on the planet, which says a lot considering he's the one on the ground and puking his innards out.

"She talks 'bout ya. All the way here to Chicago she talked 'bout ya. What would ya like to hear?" He rocks back on his haunches and picks at his screen-printed dragon t-shirt slick with sweat, just as mine is. It had been dreadfully hot in that club.

"What does she think of me? Has she ever said I should be more of a jerk?" I can't believe I'm having this conversation with Puff the Magic Dragon of all people.

He gives me another confused stare. "She's never said that, no. Why?"

"No reason," I mutter. He echoes himself and in turn I repeat myself again.

But, Drunken Duff isn't quick to just let it go. "Hey, tell me."

"It's nothing."

"If it were nothing than you'd tell me," he says leisurely, enunciating each word carefully, an attempt at sobering up.

I glower at him, hoping that he'll be intimidated by the worn-out bass player and just drop it. But no, he has to make a big deal out of it. "Please tell me Taira," he coos again, reaching out to grab my cargo pants just below the knee. This freezes me completely. My pants are loose and, with a bit of strategic tugging, they'll pool around my ankles like liquid butter.

Somehow he knows this from experience.

"Fine. It's…she said that 'it' would be easier to avoid something if I was a jerk. Or whatever. I don't know why but I'm kind of perturbed by the way she said it. That's all."

He straightens and detaches himself from my pants with a rolling grin. "Huh. So she doesn't want 'something' to happen and it would be avoided if you were a jerk. That's what I'm getting."

My, my, he's sobered up quite well now. His brain must have been temporarily turned off. All this gossip-like business has him riled up. I sigh and make to go back inside but he captures my pant leg again in his sinewy fingers.

"Wait up dude."

"What now?"

Flashing me a genuine smile Duff says, "She really does like you a lot. She told me so. She was pretty damn upset that you got clobbered by a keyboardist. Until today I didn't think she could smile. So, don't fuck things up." He clears his throat nervously, "I already did tonight."

Equipped with the startlingly intelligible and coherent advice from a drunk I shuffle back inside the bar to find Rylie. It's time to inform her that Duff has truly, as he so fluently put it, 'fucked up'.

When I find everyone hunkering down at the bar and sipping – or in Chiba and Ryusuke's case, gulping – down alcohol I begin to wonder just what I'd missed. From the sounds of things Kim and Ritsu are having a quaint conversation with Saku and Ryusuke. This isn't _too_ unusual but the fact that Ritsu is sitting shoulder to shoulder with Chiba on one side and Ryusuke on the other makes me think of hidden land mines. Oh, and Chi is sitting in Koyuki's lap making him incredibly red in the face, but that's normal behaviour for both of them I suppose.

If I squint this looks like a group of friends. I must need to get my eyes checked out. Here I thought I just needed glasses for reading but apparently I'm seeing optical illusions too.

"Come join us Taira," Rylie advises from behind me. I twist around, coming nose to nose with her, that is, if we were the same height. Where had she come from? Don't tell me she's been taking ninja lessons from Saku.

She leads me to the table and Ryusuke promptly slams a bottle of beer on the table in front of me. I take a look at the beer, then back to him. It takes him a moment to remember I'm always, without a doubt, the designated driver. He takes the beer and makes sure it isn't put to waste.

Now that I think about driving I'm painfully reminded that Duff is sitting in front of the building mulling over the vehicle he sold, probably during intermission. It falls to me, naturally, to warn the others that something has changed in the way of plans.

I wait patiently until the chatter dies down. This takes several minutes which stretch into hours, but I'm a patient man. Particularly with Rylie sneakily sliding her hand up and down my thigh under the table. Yes, I can be _very _patient.

But, the evening comes full circle and the alcohol starts to make everyone sleepy. It doesn't help that some soft rock is now spilling from the jukebox as opposed to earlier when Black Sabbath dominated. My time is up. The moment of suffering dawns.

"Guys, I believe one of us has something to tell you all."I announce this loud enough that the whole bar might as well start listening.

They all turn to me, curious and vaguely interested.

"We're all going to be travelling together again. Duff accidentally sold his van."

There's a few seconds where the only sound to be heard is the wailing of Van Morrison. There's a couple crickets stirring too, but mostly it's _Moondance _playing in the background.

Then, all at once like a bucket of freezing cold water dumped over my head, several people scream at me.

"HELL NO!"

Party's over I guess.

* * *

**A.N.:** Hi guys. Well, that was a slightly longer absence since the last update. In the time I was, er, _away_ I ended up writing a novel (NaNoWriMo: google it), so I wasn't really writing this story during that time frame.

BUT HEY. I feel as though things got done (plot wise) this chapter! Send me a **review** if you have something, anything, to say! Comment on what you think is going on in Rylie's twisted mind! I'd love to hear it.

~Reiki


	20. Especially in Lake Michigan

**Author's Note**: THIS CHAPTER IS GROSSLY OVERDUE.

A hardcore _thank you_ goes out to everyone who reviewed since the last chapter: **JesseB954**, **Gibson77**, **Itsuka**, **Adhyaksa**, **Deusluxmea**, **warning746**, **AoiKuroNekoSan**, **Maria G. Familia**, **KizuOniKitsune** and my latest reviewer who helped give me a wake-up slap, **Bri105**. I needed that one.

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 20 – Especially in (Lake) Michigan

* * *

It has been said by Mac McCleary that "Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead." That man could not have been more correct.

"At this rate we're not going to make it back to the hotel," Kim grumbles to herself in the front seat. I grimace my agreement and glare daggers through the back window of the tiny Suzuki in front of us doing a meticulously slow speed while the vehicles behind me grow agitated. Pretty soon someone's going to try and pass me plus the Suzuki and someone's going to die. I pound on the van's horn, thoroughly pissed off. I can pound all I want because for some odd reason said horn is not functioning.

"Koyuki has a bony ass," someone states from the depth of the van. I can't tell what the hell is going on back there because the truth is we're literally stuffed to the rafters with smelly bodies and creaky equipment.

I hate Duff whose last name I still don't know yet. There's one blessing though; the dog's not here to witness this catastrophe. What catastrophe? Why, only the biggest challenge we've yet to face. Stuffing more than the legal number of people in a vehicle (if I get pulled over we're cooked) while simultaneously trying not to get killed by Duff's video equipment every time I have to stop at the last possible second for a yellow light.

"Augh!"

"Sorry, stop light came out of nowhere," I apologize for what has to be the twentieth time since I got behind the wheel. It helps that most of the people in the back seat are numb with alcohol consumption, so there isn't as much crying out in pain and agony as there could be.

"Feels like we's been goin' in circles," Ryusuke complains, his hand poking through my headrest to tap me on the shoulder. He slumps forward and collapses against the back of my seat with a soft _thump_, causing me to jerk forward against the steering wheel. "I so tired." He has the eloquence of a five year old.

I grate my teeth as I come up to the same damn street I saw just five minutes ago. How many goddamn Baker's Streets can there be anyway? "Baker's Street again! Where the hell are we?"

"I don't know, you're the one driving Rylie," Ritsu pulls a Ryusuke move but instead of slumping into the dashboard in front of her she slumps onto me, causing the steering wheel to jerk dangerously into oncoming traffic. I swerve back to avoid getting us smushed into the pavement by a bigger vehicle but at the cost of hurting the occupants of the van.

"Augh!" Everyone yells again as they're hit with video equipment and stray merchandise. We've lost many a Beck CD out the window at this point and even more flyers of the Flux to tremendous gusts of sudden wind. With everyone in the van it wasn't enough to merely turn on the air conditioning. The stench of alcohol demanded that the windows be left wide open.

In fact, Chiba's dangling dangerously out of one. Thank goodness for Taira holding the cuff of his t-shirt else we'd have to deal with scraping the remains of Chiba scrambled eggs off the road. Now that I'm looking, I notice that it's Taira whom Koyuki – since he was the lightest and therefore apparently wasn't high priority for a seatbelt – was forced to sit on. In a way I'm jealous of Koyuki's position. At the same time I feel like laughing at both of their expenses.

"Okay guys, I'm lost. Taira, can you drive?" I ask as sweetly as possible.

I hear a grunt as Taira tries to answer from under Koyuki. "I've been drinking! Ryusuke forced me to drink that damn double shot of tequila or whatever the hell it was!" His yelling is half lost due to Koyuki's back muffling his face as I pull over on the side of the road. Cars start to pass us by, darting around us quickly and honking little greetings that cause the ringing in my head to escalate to a full out scream.

"Someone take the wheel! I've been trying to find the hotel for an _hour_." Or at least it feels like an hour.

"I'm drrruunnnk," Duffy supplies less than helpfully from the back of the vehicle. I hear someone slap him for me.

"We've all been drinking and…uh, what was I going to say?" Taira pauses as he loses his train of thought. "Oh, yeah. We've all been drinking." He pauses again. "Wait, I already said that."

I sigh; apparently when alcohol enters Taira's system he contracts short term memory loss. Wonderful. I don't think he'll be any better behind the steering wheel than I.

"Here, I'll break out the map," Saku calls from the back of the van. Could he have been the one to slap Duff? Or maybe it was Chi on the other side…hmm.

I end up taking the can of crap out of park and pull into a gas station just up the road. At this point I'm eager to get out from behind the steering wheel. Once outside I open the sliding door of the van and eye the four people staring back at me in the middle section of the vehicle. Let's see: Chiba (drunk), Taira (incompetent memory, also somewhat drunk), Ryusuke (giggling at what has to be one of Chiba's porn magazines) and Koyuki. Strangely he's sober, not giggling and certainly has his memory still intact.

"You'll do," I grunt, reaching in to grab Koyuki by the shoulder, pulling him towards me and off of Taira's lap. Koyuki flounders and nearly topples out onto the pavement as I tug him along. "Drive the van for me," I instruct bluntly, pushing past him to go and sit on Taira's lap. I suppose I could have sat on my unconscious drummer one row back, but that would have been silly of me to pass up a chance to sit on Taira.

Is it wrong of me to hand the responsibility of getting everyone back to a hotel safe and sound to someone else for once? My eyes are watering from a lack of sleep and for once I don't fancy being the mother hen of a bunch of blundering musicians. Let them fend for themselves.

Koyuki stands outside the van for a minute before Ryusuke enthusiastically calls for him to get inside. With reluctance Koyuki complies with his band leader's giggled wishes and climbs in, throwing on a seatbelt and resting his hands on the steering wheel. From the position I'm in I can see his pale hands are shaking.

I've probably just condemned us all to death by unlicensed driver. Twenty points for me for not checking to make sure Koyuki actually has a driver's license.

Saku changes places with Kim, map in hand, as Koyuki gets a crash course on how to turn the vehicle on. I point out the most important things: where the pedal and brake are, the gearshift, the fact that the horn and right turn signal don't work, that kind of stuff. He seems to take it in stride. I don't think he's going to have any problems.

That's what I think _before_ he gets going and runs over the curb and onto the street without even stopping for cars. Wheels all around us screech to a standstill or swerve to accommodate our blatant intrusion. Luckily for us the person who's probably traumatized behind us has fast reflexes.

"Um, Koyuki, you need to speed up to the limit here," Saku tells the boy as we move along at a measly rate of speed. Headlights shine through the back window, illuminating the faces of everyone around me.

Taira's hands clench suddenly on my hips. "Uh, who's driving?" he mumbles into my neck. It seems like the sudden attacks of memory loss are still with him. His half-lidded eyes flutter against my skin. "Saku's driving, right?"

Obviously he missed something here. "Koyuki's driving."

My rear end jerks as Taira spasms under me. "Koyuki's driving?" Quickly he tries to readjust me to see for himself. "Koyuki's going to kill us all!"

Well, how's that for a bout of confidence in the kid?

"He's doing fine," Ryusuke giggles. "We haven't hit any poles or killed any cats yet."

From my position I can see that Saku has his hand on the steering wheel next to Koyuki's. For Saku to be assisting in the steering…what have I done?

Regardless the van miraculously lurches to a stop outside our hotel. The trailer ran over the curb again (Koyuki didn't realize that the trailer would be following so intently) but we're all safe. Shaken, maybe, but mostly because he made an illegal left on a red light. Poor Taira about had a heart attack during that one. I had to forcibly cover his eyes after that.

As we all file out of the van I wince as I realize Taira has made marks on my hips from his fingers. I'm going to have to hide those later with a touch of makeup in case Chi gets an alternate idea of what we were doing. God knows she has an imaginative mind.

Sublime is happy to see us all back safe and sound. She bounds over to Duff and knocks him off balance, which isn't hard to do in his drunken state. He takes her outside, talking to her as if she were a baby while the rest of us crash, none too ceremoniously.

I might just be starting to feel the strain of this tour.

* * *

Today marks the first momentous argument I've had with Taira. Surprisingly, it's not about our tentatively committed relationship. No, it's actually about Koyuki.

I think we should be giving the boy some driving lessons.

Taira thinks otherwise.

Those are the two ingredients for an argument.

However, I'm beginning to believe I can get Taira to do anything I ask of him with a little womanly persuasion because we're all sitting inside the van. The only thing that marks this different than other occasions is the solid fact that Taira and I are sitting _behind_ the driver's seat, coaching darling Koyuki to make a right turn on a green.

"Koyuki, you have the green, you have to go," Taira says in exasperation. "Green means go…" Koyuki makes it through the intersection and then he's faced with a stop sign that comes out of nowhere. "Red means no!"

"Relax Taira, he's stopping," I chide, rubbing Taira's shoulder as he shudders. Duff laughs and makes a snide comment to Ritsu and Chiba in the back seat, something I don't hear but can interpret. He's obviously told them we sound like an old married couple bickering. I turn around in Taira's lap; I'm going to have to slap him for that later.

Poor Chiba and Ritsu are squished together like sardines back there. They seem to be pretending the other doesn't exist but judging by their strained faces they're preoccupied with one another. If I didn't know better I'd have to say they appear to be in a ticklish situation…maybe one of them will make a move on the other?

I don't know better obviously.

"This looks like a good spot," Ryusuke says, tapping on the glass of the window. "Pull in here, Koyuki."

Koyuki obliges, turning the van sharply into the first car dealership we come across. Luckily for the kid the boys had previously detached the trailer from the van, so there was no unintended curb-hopping. We had spent ample time this morning taking every last piece of equipment and stuffing it in one room in the hotel, making sure to leave the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door handle. There's a little more breathing space in the van, but not much.

Duff gets out with Ryusuke and they survey the array of vehicles up for adoption. They take Sublime out with them on her little red leash. We had decided the dog needed more fresh air after being cooped up yesterday. I hope she doesn't get them in trouble with the car salespeople. Or maybe it's just Taira and I that she enjoys screwing over. No one has delved too deeply into the inner workings of that pooch's head yet.

"Okay, remember to meet up with us at noon by the lakefront. At that place we saw yesterday…Colby's? No. Cory's?" Ryusuke places a forefinger on his lower lip as he tries to remember. Confined to the leash Ryusuke's gripping, Sublime just whines as if to say he'd better hurry up and get his memory back because she wants a walk. "Oh yeah; Cosy's! That's what it was. Meet us at Cosy's."

"Right," Saku confirms. "We'll try to get there." He shoots a smile Koyuki's way though the latter is too busy checking for the fiftieth time how much gas is in the van to acknowledge his friend.

"Remember, don't let the salespeople sucker you into some ridiculous deal," Chiba warns, finally finding his voice _after_ Ritsu moved to the other side of the backseat. Coincidence? Or is my pervy mind finally getting to me?

Ryusuke smacks his lips together loudly, "Don't worry guys. I'll get us a good deal with my devilish charm. All the ladies in this joint won't be able to resist."

Duff snorts, "Actually, looks like a guy's going to come and help us out." He stands tall, studying the guy on the horizon for a second as he gets closer to our position. Suddenly a smirk comes over his face as he proclaims, "He's _mine_. Don't worry guys, I got this."

Well now, Duff is good for something it seems.

Ryusuke appears a bit disappointed as they saunter off to meet the salesperson, at which point I decide we ought to hit the road before we make their company look bad with our piece-of-shit-mobile. "Pull us out of here Koyuki." He gets off to a jerky start so I instruct, "Easy on the gas, dude."

The boy gets us out on the road and I retire from my coaching, letting Saku and Taira have a go at things. This gives me loads of time to ogle the passengers in the van, namely Chiba and Ritsu whom haven't said a word edgewise to each other in what has to be two days now. Or at least that's what it feels like; I may have missed a grumbled greeting or snappy retort here and there. Still, there's tension – perhaps of the sexual variety – in the air.

Or, again, I may be imagining it.

We drive around aimlessly, admiring the many different signs and numerous ice cream parlours. There's something about constantly being a tourist that always gets me excited. It must be because I've never really explored America before this tour. I had no idea of the strange and wonderful world outside of my little home on the range. Where the deer and the antelope play…

Metaphorically, of course.

"Is it noon yet? I feel like we've been driving for _hours_. I'm hungry," Chiba complains from the backseat.

"Yeah, Chiba's right. I'm hungry and tired of driving too," Ritsu agrees. I swivel my head around to look at her funny. Are those two in cahoots or something? Alright, I think it's about damn time I turned myself into a sleuth and did some behind the scenes investigating. You see, signs of Ritsu being civil to a person she has proclaimed to despise foreshadows an impending doom for us all.

Something's going on and I want in on it.

"Koyuki you've really improved from hitting every pothole in the road and damaging curbs. Now we just have to solve your fear of large intersections. Let's go to Colby's…or is it Cory's? No…" I trail off, waiting for my light bulb to light up.

"It's Cosy's. I think," Taira provides.

"That's right! Thanks," I tell Taira, reaching over and discreetly squeezing his thigh. He jumps slightly at my cheeky behaviour and gives me a sly smile. We're going to have to find some alone time later…

After the Chiba and Ritsu fiasco, naturally. My sisterly intuitions won't let me leave them be, even at the expense of my own man. Poor Taira, if only he knew his current standings.

As we pull into Cosy's I take in the magnificent view of the lake as well as a rather obtrude sign placed on the top of the dinner. It reads:

_DIP YER BALLS IN OUR SEAMAN SAUCE. OPEN FOR LUNCH._

Regardless of the awkward sign, Cosy's turns out to be a quaint little dinner overlooking a small part of Lake Michigan and nothing more. The trimming along the rafters is a sailor's blue, the décor and the waiters' uniforms making me believe for a moment that I was on some sort of ocean cruiser. I wonder, if the Flux made enough money to live a high-class life, would we ever opt for a cruise? Hmm, probably not. Kim would get seasick and Chi would probably try to seduce the captain of the ship, cause us to hit an iceberg and then sink in the ocean. Yeah, best not to take the girls on a ship. I wouldn't feel very safe at all.

Our bubbly waiter (why are they always so damn cheerful?) sits us near a huge window, arguably with the best view of the lake in the place. Ritsu quickly grabs a window seat and I slide in next to her, with Taira moving in close behind me. I was kind of hoping he'd sit across from me so I'd get to stare at him throughout the entire meal but…this position has its perks too. Eek, naughty thoughts are starting an invasion in my mind.

Great, it must be getting close to _that_ time of the month again. Bloody fabulous.

Chiba, Koyuki and Saku slide in on the other side and Kim and Chi situate themselves on either side on the table, Chi chatting Kim's ear off already. I quickly notice that, once again, Ritsu and Chiba are locked in an emotionless stare down. In fact it's so emotionless that they might not even be looking at one another but rather over the other's shoulder at something completely unrelated.

I'm starting to take things a bit too far I think. Okay Rylie, time to tone it down a notch.

The waiter comes back and we order drinks, which are brought to us promptly. As I twirl my straw around in my soda and glance outside at our van parked along the low-lying cliff overlooking the lake I see that Ritsu is staring determinedly out the window. I also see that Chiba too is looking elsewhere as opposed to across the table. His gaze finally falls on the window, but not without crossing Ritsu. And damn, there _is_ a tiny almost indistinguishable spark there. I swear it!

Looks like my sleuthing has started. All systems go.

"Koyuki, I'm going to make a toast to you and your improved driving skills!" Chi suddenly exclaims, raising her glass. We all know better than to oppose Chi so we raise our glasses and clink them in response. "Here's to many long hours in the van with you behind the wheel!"

Happy happy joy joy. The kid has no idea what he's in for now that he's proven himself to be somewhat adequate 'behind the wheel' as Chi would say.

When our waiter comes back we all scramble to order. I order some cheesy burger thing with fries simply because I don't want to take any experimental chances with the strange entrée items on the menu. Fish a la Toilet sounds nasty, something about a sailor's crack just sounds gross and the sinking ship where the mashed potatoes are drowned in gravy looks a bit too intense for my simpleton tastes. I'm definitely sticking to my burger and fries.

We're guaranteed a longer wait for our food than the drinks and after only five minutes I begin to get a little antsy. I can't help but be a tad obnoxious, leaning subtly into Taira only to pull away as soon as he responds. I do this a few more times until he just gives up the game and squishes against me, moulding to the contours of my body. The only way we could get any closer is if I jumped into his lap. Then it would be obvious to everyone what we're doing.

I drop one of my hands underneath the table and rest it on my knee. Saku has just engaged Taira in some sort of conversation about the light fixtures in this place. The distraction means I have the jump on Mr. Blonde.

I snake my hand over to his knee and he stutters a bit in his conversation with Saku. No one notices anything amiss and I continue to be a downright tease. I'm doing it out of boredom and for my own amusement.

I let my fingers graze his inner thigh and notice that his speech becomes quieter. Rosy patches on his cheeks appear as I let my hand linger just below the one place I wont dare touch for fear of causing too much of a scene. Well, it wouldn't be me causing the scene; it would be Taira, but still.

Removing my hand from Taira completely he turns slightly in his seat, just enough to give me a strained look. I try my hardest to give him my most innocent smile but I'm afraid it falls through when I start to giggle-snort. I hope he doesn't think I'm mocking him or anything.

"All in fun and games," I whisper to him. All I get is a light groan that's barely distinguishable over the chatterbox known as Chi. I haven't a clue why she's talking about pantyhose right now but I can tell the boys are _slightly_ uncomfortable as she goes on to say how itchy they can be in various spots. Kim looks about ready to burst out in gales of laughter, something I'm sure might scare the boys further.

The conversation topic isn't exactly my cup of tea. Unfortunately for Taira he's much more interesting than pantyhose. The reactions he makes when I brush up against him, whether accidentally or not, are just plain hilarious. I smirk and face away from him to appear inconspicuous. Then I let my fingers do the spider-walk up his leg again, stopping at his stomach. The fabric of his t-shirt muffles my touches so careful I find the hem of his shirt, hooking my nails underneath to lift it up just enough that my hand finds his skin.

If he wasn't uncomfortable before he's uncomfortable now.

I wonder if his belly's ticklish? My nails dance lightly along his skin but all I get is a reddish tinge on his cheeks. I rove upwards to his bellybutton and then rub small circles with the tips of my fingers as I come back down to where his cargo pants sit on his hips. He's making a funny face and biting his bottom lip, which I can see by leaning forward slightly across the table and looking over at him. He sees me staring smugly and the grip he has on his drink tightens. And do I spy goosebumps on his arms?

"_Rylie_," he hisses quietly. I almost leave him alone right then but I find that I can't. I'm not sure what I'm holding out for though. Maybe for him to touch _me_ under the table. Hmm. How brave is the boy?

I continue to tease the boy mirthlessly and in return I see the goosebumps really are taking over his flesh. His breathing also shifts as his eyes become heavily lidded. I think he likes it, deep down I know he does.

I have to hide my face in my hands to conceal my laugher as Taira suddenly shoots up and proclaims to the entire table that he has to visit the men's restroom. As everyone scrambles to let him out of the booth Kim sends a very pointed look in my direction. So, someone has an idea of what I've been up to.

"Control yourself, Rylie," Kim mutters crossly. Everyone ignores her quiet mumble but I nod that I'll behave myself lest she get testy with me.

The waiter comes by with our food while Taira is away. My burger is doused in some strange smelling sauce that looks like it has bits of mushroom in it but I pick it up and chomp down on it anyway. I'll eat whatever's in front of me when I'm hungry.

Taira comes back, sends me an unreadable stare, and then tentatively starts in on the mutation he ordered. I'm not even sure what it is. It could be the love child of Courtney Love and a biohazardous salad with a sprinkling of onions. Personally I'll take my burger that mostly resembles a burger any day over the Love Salad.

"Ryusuke's out there waiting for Duff," Taira tells us all between bites of the radioactive mess. "You should see what they got. You'll laugh. I know I did."

I'm vaguely curious to see what kind of vehicle they got for their money but my appetite overrules sightseeing. It can wait until after. Everyone else feels the same way though Ritsu and Chiba are peering through the windows at the parking lot around the joint.

Ryusuke stumbles inside the restaurant, tripping over the carpet and making me almost choke on a piece of chewy burger. I swear this thing hasn't been properly prepared. The more I eat of it the more my insides want to be on my outside.

"Hey guys," Ryusuke greets. "Anyone order for me?" We all shake our heads and continue to eat our food. "Well damn, I'm hungry. Move over Saku."

Ryusuke does the ridiculous and climbs over the top of the booth to situate himself between Saku and Koyuki. Then he proceeds to stuff his face with Koyuki's fries, much to Chiba's amusement. What a band leader.

"Where's Duff?" Kim asks, pausing in her meal to try and catch sight of him.

Ryusuke says with his mouth full of stuff nobody wants to see twice, "Hees ofside wit Sublie. She wount pwiss awready."

"Chew your food before opening your mouth!" Chi exclaims, chucking a napkin at the offensive guitarist. "Now tell us again what's going on."

Her authoritarian voice has Ryusuke quaking in his run-down sneakers. He enunciates every syllable this time, "Duff is still outside trying to get the dog to take a piss. The dog's been acting all weird ever since we got here."

"Her doggy senses are tingling," Saku says with a snort. "Like Batman, only he had spider senses."

"Don't ruin the joke Saku. We get it," Ryusuke informs the boy, reaching over to pat the kid on the back. "Was it windy when you guys got here?" We shake our heads and looks out the window.

"It's sure getting windy out there," someone states, prompting everyone to take a looksie outside.

Suddenly Chiba and Ritsu stand up gasping like fish out of water. I stand too and briefly get a glimpse of

"Holy mother– The van! THE VAN!" Chiba wails. His normally baritone voice raises up to a startling soprano.

"Holy fuuuuuuccccccccccccccccck!" Ritsu cries at the exact same time.

I lean across the table into the charred remains of my burger to get a peek at the sudden cause of the chaos. In this exact moment my thought process is something like this:

_Ring, ring!_

Hello?

_Is your van running?_

Um, yes?

_Well, you better go catch it before it drowns in a lake._

The waiter squeals and drops a tray of drinks on the carpeted flooring as we all run for the door, dinning and dashing. Somehow Saku is first to the door and in his haste he smears hamburger grease across the glass of the window. If that were ketchup this would look like a murder scene where the victim died a very traumatic death.

Everyone spills out onto the pavement, flailing about helplessly as we try to put ourselves in the right direction amid all the confusion and hysteria. Eventually we all race like our Dalmatian in a vaguely similar direction towards the lake. By now everyone has a pretty concrete idea of what's going on: our van, the last one we have, is rolling of its own accord to its underwater deathbed.

One of Chi's high heels breaks from the harshness of the pavement's surface causing Kim to halt in place to pick up her fallen comrade. I march on, eager to see the destruction of our future firsthand.

By the time we all get within viewing range the van is over the hill and on the slightly sandy beach, determinedly inching its way towards the grave. If anything it looks like the van is picking up momentum. That horrific notion, among other things, freezes us on the edge of the cliff. We stand there and watch, eyes wide as an anime character's, as the tires skirt the water.

There's a colossal _whoosh_ as the van becomes half submerged in water. The wheels keep rolling forward but the added force of the water slows the progress of the van until it just creeps along into the blue abyss. Bubbles are shooting out everywhere, a sure sign of extreme flooding. Most of us on the cliff resign the van to its fate. With the exception of one person who leaps dangerously down the face of the cliff, landing in the sand.

"No! My Jimi Hendrix library book!" Koyuki squeals as water starts flooding into the open windows of the van.

Then, Koyuki does something remarkable at the bottom of the hill that gets us all to light the fire in our hearts again: he starts to gallop towards the van as fast as his little legs will carry him. All in order to save his copy of Jimi Hendrix's biography,_ Room Full of Mirrors_. Somehow this act of complete idiocy gives everyone inspiration because before I know it we're all up to our knees in water, grabbing the sides of the van as it groans and hisses, the water sucking it down deeper.

The slimy bottom of the lake is ignored as everyone tries to get in front of the van. By now the mammoth tank of tin is moving so slowly that an old lady carrying several hundred cans of pie filling up Mt. Fuji could beat it in a race. As we all pile in front of the van – the entire front end submerged in water and fizzing in the likeness of a shaken-up Coke can – nobody expresses the insanity of crowding in front of a moving vehicle.

"Push, push, push!" someone shouts, voice hoarse.

Getting a grip in the ever shifting sand is challenging and already one of us has slipped and gone under the surface of the water. But I can see the van is making its last roll forwards. Either our pushing is making some progress or the water has finally slowed the van down to a standstill. Whatever it is I can see a half-eaten chocolate bar on the dash that needs to be saved and devoured.

Chi and Kim finally join the rest of us. I'm pretty sure Chi's shoeless because she's making funny faces and staring down into the murky depths like there's a monster munching on her feet. The girls position themselves beside me and the rest of the boys plus Ritsu who can practically be considered a boy herself considering her bulging biceps.

Soon we're all grunting and muttering profanities as we try to back the sucker up onto the beach again. I can't tell if we're making progress or not because the water is sloshing all around us making it impossible to judge the depth of it. Plus, somehow I ended up in the middle of the pack, staring at that poor chocolate bar on the dash.

"Oh god, is this thing even moving?" someone moans. It sounds suspiciously like Saku has recovered from his near-drowning.

"Don't give up!" Koyuki's voice rings out.

"Heave!" Ritsu calls over the constant sloshing of waves. Why did it have to be windy?

"Ho!" Chiba answers.

"What did you call me?"

"It's an expression!" I interject to save afro kid's ass.

By the time I begin to feel sturdier ground beneath my feet my clothing is plastered to the contours of my body, my arms feel like they're going to spontaneously fall off and my breathing is more laboured than an elephant after a stampede. Needless to say I'm quite overwhelmed with emotion when I realize that we've somehow beaten the laws of physics and pushed a van up a grade.

Not that I know any laws of physics. I dropped that class in high school two days after staring at the blackboard in mystification. Just for the record, Ritsu dropped it too.

All that can be heard over the crashing of waves on distant rocks is our frenzied panting.

"H-how, did this h-happen?" Taira pants, looking around at all of us. His look of bewilderment holds all of our attention. "K-Koyuki? _Did you set the parking brake?_"

Except for the rolling waves its dead silent as everyone's breath hitches.

Koyuki shakes his head once. _No_.

I don't even think the kid knows what a parking brake is.

When we finally start breathing again, Ryusuke becomes counterproductive and explodes. "Koyuki, you idiot! _ALWAYS_ set the parking brake! Especially on a hill with a lake at the bottom!" he screams hysterically. Koyuki flinches and I immediately feel sorry for the kid.

"It's not like he knew," Saku mutters quietly next to Chi. She nudges Saku lightly as if to agree with him.

"Oh bugger," Taira says as he moves up beside me, his eyes unfocussed.

"What?" I ask curiously, "Are you British now?"

He looks up, shocked that anyone had been listening to him. "Oh, nothing, uh, just something Ra said."

"Who?"

His face turns slightly red and he runs a hand through his head of blonde hair. "Never mind. So, um, let's try and start the van. See if it survived."

He stalks off quickly and I can only speculate on what's got him so flustered. I look down at myself, trying to look for any signs of horror like a huge abomination of a grease stain on my shirt. Nope, it's only wet and partially see-through. Oh well, Kim looks worse. She hasn't noticed yet. Thank goodness else she'd die of embarrassment.

Plus, I found my missing bra. Though I can't fathom how Kim would find the courage to deal with that pink frilly thing. We must need to do laundry soon if it's come to this.

The boys are all crowding around the van, peering inside while my girls regroup and watch from a slight distance. I can tell just by looking at Kim that she strongly believes that now is the time to phone up our old man Mr. Yamada and mooch some cash off of him for a replacement. And so we continue to watch and admire the smashed up front end of our once glorious vehicle.

A substantial burst of water comes out of the front door when Chiba opens it. The rush of heavy liquid nearly pulls down Chiba's loose fitting jeans to his ankles, making Chi giggle hysterically despite the situation.

Kim finally comes up to me and asks tiredly, "What are we going to do now?" I shrug as Taira tries to get the van to run, twisting the key violently in the ignition while the other boys all crowd around. The vehicle sputters a little, water running out of the exhaust pipe in a blaze of glory, but the old shit-mobile doesn't do much else. "I think we need to call in the big guns."

"Him? Really?"

"Well, I don't see how else we're going to get through this," Kim says slowly.

I take out my cell phone from my pocket and wipe off the screen as I flip it open. I turn it on and pray that the water hasn't given it new quirks. Luckily my luck isn't that terrible. "how do you want me to explain this?"

"Just tell him that the boys dropped the van in the lake," she mutters nonchalantly.

I frown, "That is not what happened. Besides, it's partially my fault this happened. I mean, if I didn't pressure Koyuki into driving this never would have happ–"

"It is _not_ your fault," she hisses lowly. "If you want to tell him the truth, fine. I just hope he still feels obligated to get us the hell out of America when the time comes. I don't want to be stuck here forever."

"So you want me to _lie_ to try and gain his favour?"

She reaches down and attempts to wring out her shirt, a sneer mucking up her features. "Yep. You're the band leader. Say what you need to say to get this problem dealt with."

I sigh as she stalks off. I realize that Kim can get a bit hot-headed and downright bitchy at times, especially in this situation, but the least she could do is show a little common courtesy to the rest of us.

Pocketing my cell phone a thought comes to mind. I call out loudly to everyone, "Hey, where's Duff?"

Everyone stops and looks around for the skyscraper of a man. Eventually all our gazes land on the only person standing on the top of the small cliff we'd all somehow leapt down. What really tips us off is the large bulky video camera on his shoulder.

He removes the camera from his shoulder for just a moment to shout down at us, "Wow guys, that scene is definitely making it into my documentary."

* * *

**A.N.:** Thanks to everyone who's still out there somewhere in this vast world. In light of recent family issues I haven't been writing lately but now that things have hopefully settled down I believe I'll be trying harder than ever to update this never-ending story.

Keep reviewing guys. You have no idea the motivation they bring me. They also work as slaps to the face to remind me that I'm writing this story.

Oh, and before I go has anyone heard that new Foo Fighters song "Rope"? If so, what's your opinion on it; love it, hate it? On the fence?

~Reiki


	21. Superclunk

**Author's Note**: Whoa, finally exams are over for me. Huzzah. So, um, I know it's been a while since I gave you guys another chapter so I must apologize for my lack of inspiration. BUT I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS STORY, DON'T WORRY. I'm determined to finish this story, I promise.

Now then, my special thanks goes out to all the people who've exchanged kind words with me in the form of reviews, including: **Bri105**, **Maria G.** **Familia**, **Kuro-puuAndFaiLuvers**, **Gibson77**, **KizuOniKitsune** (x2, possibly 3 haha), **Adhyaksa**, **TheBombDiggity**, and **JesseB954**.

Extra special thanks to the person who pleaded for me to update (the anonymous reviewer Imbegginyou) and to Jesse who made me laugh _really_ hard (I had to clean my monitor after that episode, just so you know).

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 21 – Superclunk

* * *

Even from a distance I can see that Rylie is puckering up for her tour manager. I've been told by Chi that their Mr. Yamada is one hell of a nauseating swine. It seems – judging by the angry shouting I can hear being spewed out of Rylie's cell – their manager is not going to assist us. That or he's extremely reluctant to accept that disaster has struck us once again. I get that impression when Rylie flips her phone closed and throws it down the length of the beach angrily. I watch her out of the corner of my eye as she heads for the van, rips open the door on the passenger side and grabs something from within.

Meanwhile – thanks in part to the waiter that we ran away from when the van started rolling – a crowd has gathered along the cliff. Mostly people are watching the constant stream of water gushing out of our van's tailpipe. Forget Niagara Falls, the water coming out of our van's rear is just as impressive a sight.

But it's when people start coming down the cliff to see the spectacle up close that I start to get irritated. Granted the first person to approach our troupe was that waiter looking for us to pay the tab for our food, but still. People just can't leave us to wallow in our pity peacefully, can they?

One man with a wild mane of frizzy hair ogles Kim in her near shirtless state. I decide that the line between polite inquiry and full out enquiry has been crossed. I march right up to the man and tell him crudely:

"We're not shooting some porno flick so would you please, _please_ sod off."

_That sounded incredibly British. Have you been watching those British soaps on T.V. again? Oh wait, I already know the answer to that–_

Shut up Ra.

The man pulls a face and gestures to the van, conveniently behind Kim I notice with much embarrassment. It's hard to imagine a man would be staring past a half naked beauty but apparently this guy is either gay or a passionate automotive mechanic. Or he's conveniently both.

"I'm, uh, checking out your van. Not your girl." The man grimaces, reflecting my own expression. So it seems Rylie's protectiveness over her girls has rubbed off on me. Great. It won't be long now until I develop a full blown case of Protective Boyfriend Syndrome (PBS).

"She's not my girlfriend. The one sitting on the ground eating the chocolate bar is."

The man gives a quick glance over to Rylie taking angry snaps at her chocolate before acknowledging me again. "I'd love to ask you what happened here but I think the scene is pretty self-explanatory. Forget to set the parking brake?"

"_I_ didn't forget. But yeah, that's what happened. How'd you know?" I'm too surprised that he managed to guess our issue right off the bat to be cantankerous with this guy. Besides, something in his wrinkles tells me he's seen worse situations. If that's even possible.

It occurs to me that I could look like this man one day if I let the stress get to me. Yikes.

"Eh, you could say similar things happen all the time," the man replies vaguely. "You kids taking a road trip to somewhere or what?"

He's obviously got too many years on me for the kid thing to make me bristle. Instead I tell him truthfully, "We're touring. We're a band."

Wow, leaping down that cliff jarred my brain a bit. Sadly I must sound like a _kid_ to him. All of my English has left me for dead.

A weird little smile creeps across his features. Before I can back away and make a smooth break for it the man with the frizz spins around and calls, "Marty, you're right! This one's a flounder!"

My frazzled brain doesn't even try to make sense of what the man's blabbing about. Before I know it, three other guys are flanking the original. Each one of these men has the scariest hair I've ever seen in my entire life, which is saying something considering the rebels in Japan are usually pretty flamboyant. One of the three looks like he should have been in ZZ Top, what with the long hair and beard. Another has a normal haircut, minus the fact that it's bright _pink_. The last one, well, he looks like an older Americanized version of Chiba, which is scary enough as it is.

Thanks to the growing hysteria I find myself backed by both my mates and my girls. Thank goodness.

"You kids are in a band?" The pink one eagerly asks, grinning.

"Shut up Marty, no one wants to hear about your sixth sense for sniffing out musicians," the Chiba-impersonator says gruffly. God, he even sounds like Chiba. The only thing that would make this moment more unnerving is if he had a best friend who happened to be a bleach-blonde cargo-pants-wearing dude.

Then again, if I were destined to have an older double present right here and now he'd probably be bald.

My future's bleak.

The ZZ Top wannabe extends his hand towards me. "Greetings mates. We're Superfunk. No doubt you've heard of us."

Quickly I look to Ryusuke. If there's anyone else in the band who knows what looks to be classic rock it would be him. He's as blank as I am. A glance around shows me that everyone is in a similar haze.

These guys look like they could be popular…in an old folk's home.

Finally Chiba breaks the silence. "I like your hair." He nods towards his double.

"Thanks," Chiba's double says stiffly. "I, uh, like yours too kid."

The pink haired guy claps his hands together to ward off the impending awkward silence. "So! I take it you guys aren't from around here." Considering we're a bunch of Japanese kids with noticeable English slurs the statement falls rather flat. We certainly aren't locals; that much even a blind man could see. "What you need is a crane. To haul your van back up."

I can see everyone visibly deflate. Even if we were to somehow get the van up and running where the hell would we find a crane? Not to mention the money needed to rent said gigantic contraption.

Pinkie notices our despair. "Hey, hey, relax. Lucky for you I'm Superfunk by night and Mr. Scrap Metal by day. I have a crane in my junkyard, if you're interested."

Barely able to contain his enthusiasm Ryusuke literally jumps for joy, his arms spread wide. One of them connects with my side and I wince while the other inadvertently copes a feel. Chi howls indignantly, clutching her violated melons.

Saku, being the amazingly passive boy that he is, ignores the escalating madness and asks, "So where is your crane?"

"On the other side of town."

"Oh."

Just then Rylie leans against my shoulder and whispers, "What do you think they're going to charge us?"

I try not to grimace too much. "Dunno. Probably more than the van's worth."

She groans, either from the news of our penniless state or from the large quantity of chocolate she consumed in record-breaking time (at least in my books). Girls never fail to impress me.

"We really appreciate the offer but, well, I don't think our van is worth much to us in this condition," Kim surmises, half turned around to stare at the waterlogged beast. If the engine was shit before, I'd hate to hear what kind of bizarre noises it might make now. _If_ it even runs again.

Pinkie ponders Kim's point for a moment while Ryusuke glares at her. He was perfectly willing to run with a broken down piece of shit. Knowing him he'd somehow get it working too. But, also knowing him, his handiwork would only last for about five miles down the road and we'd be back to square one.

I guess I'm taking Kim's side on this one.

"It might not be worth much to you but to me that's a lot of scrap metal. That thing's a beast," Pinkie says assertively. He punches a fist into his hand. _Smack._ "I have a plan I think we could all agree with."

The Chiba double grins widely before masking his face with a huge meaty palm.

ZZ Top wannabe pulls a concerned face. "But your plans never work out, dude."

Pinkie glowers at him. "Shut up, _dude_," he mocks, "or the next time you crash at my place I'll braid your beard to the coffee table leg again."

"You just want me to get rid of my beard."

"It's so 70s, man. Looking at you makes me feel like an old geezer."

"Yeah, well, looking at your supposed neo-pixie pink hair reminds me of what went into the toilet the night we mixed bubblegum ice cream with vodka."

"That's disgusting! I thought we agreed never to speak of that again! Actually, you _promised_ you'd never bring this up! I can't believe I trusted you!"

"Would you two queens stop squabbling already?" The Chiba double shouts. His face is red and I fear that the vein in his forehead might just pop out and cause a serious medical emergency. "These kids have a situation here. What's your fucking plan?" He clamps a hand over his mouth and hurriedly apologizes. "Pardon the language, kids."

We're all too discombobulated to care whether we're being treated like toddlers or not.

"Okay, my idea is genius." Pinkie takes a deep breath of air. In anticipation each of us subconsciously leans forward to Pinkie. "I take your van off your hands for free and in return you guys can take any vehicle in the scrap metal yard. We'll swap!"

"You idiot! They're _clearly_ leasing someone else's van and I'm pretty sure that's illegal or something!" ZZ Top, seemingly the down-to-earth one, has a damn good point.

"Who cares? We're down for that!" Ryusuke pipes up. That man is entirely too eager to get us into trouble. Idiot. At least the rest of us aren't like him.

Or so I thought.

My mouth drops as everyone seems to agree with Ryusuke. Hell, I'm not even sure that us _kids_ know what we're agreeing too. Rylie, who obviously understands everything these guys are talking about, is looking a bit like me; freaked out. But, before we can band together and use our powers of coupledom to sway everyone else out of what is doubtlessly a bad idea the conversation takes a drastic turn.

"Okay then, two people can take Duff's car…thing."

"I vote myself!" Ryusuke calls out, his fist pumping vertically into the air above our heads.

Just for the mere indecency of voting for one's self Koyuki and Saku exchange vexed looks and say in unison, "I vote Taira."

I look to Chiba to get me out of this optional voyage into the unknown and receive a simple-minded shrug. "I don't care." Duff is too busy looking through footage he captured on his video camera to care about my well-being. And so, I am the chosen one.

"I vote Rylie!" Kim screeches. The rest of the Flux agrees with Kim, much to Rylie's mounting horror. I don't think she wants anything to do with these old geezers.

"Taira and Rylie it is," Pinkie declares, not even sure who the hell's names he's calling. Ryusuke visibly deflates and Koyuki gives his big fat ego a pat on the back. I don't know why Koyuki's still stroking Ryusuke's ego considering that thing is so large we can't even fit it into a Boeing 747, much less our spifflicated van.

Yes, I did just insult our band leader. I just can't help myself. It's starting to become a favourite hobby of mine.

* * *

Let's fast forward to the present, shall we?

Rylie and I are trying to will the SmartCar that Duff got on sale to move faster in order to catch up with Pinkie's little motorcycle. The guy's without a helmet and to tell the utmost truth I'm glad he's risking his head considering his pink hair is the only thing that's stopping me from losing him in the throng of cars.

I should also mention that this little piece of plastic we're ridding in is truly the devil's work. I don't know why Ryusuke and Duff couldn't just get a normal car with an actual backseat. Oh no, according to Ryusuke Sublime picked out the car for them.

It's black with white paw prints running up and down the sides in a haphazard pattern. Figures, right? The vehicle Duff spent good money on looks like an epileptic dog stepped in white paint and covered every square inch of SmartCar. It's a horrid paint job, really.

Sublime was apparently quite smitten with it. Dumb mutt.

"Oh, hey. I think we're getting close to this place. Check out the scenery. It kind of looks like we're on the outskirts of a hick town."

Under Rylie's guidance I obediently observe the roadside and sure enough the little shanties and fields of livestock make me think we've entered a whole other side of Chicago that I didn't even think existed. Is Pinkie's scrap yard seriously out here in the boonies?

Sure enough, we start picking out signs that poke out of the thick wads of brush. Most of them are signs indicating where to find God but some of them state where to find our junk yard. But we still have Pinkie in our sights, so I reckon we shouldn't need those signs yet. But I look at them in hopes of later having some kind of recollection of our route so we can find our way back to Cosy's.

Pinkie stretches his hand out to the left in a signal for us to turn and we find ourselves bouncing down a dirt road. We don't have to go far before huge heaps of scrap metal and tires signify that we've reached our destination. It's all basically sandy dirt with a run-down fence surrounding the scrap yard so I simply park the SmartCar behind Pinkie's motorcycle seeing as there's no real designated parking spaces.

Rylie and I pile out into the sun and I sneeze upon entering the dust cloud the petite paw print SmartCar had managed to kick up. Pinkie materializes out of the dust just as I'm attempting to surreptitiously wipe the snot from my nose.

"This is it! Feast your eyes on my pride and joy!" He states all too gleefully. I would do as he instructed but I can't see anything at the moment and my eyes are watering uncontrollably. I swear I'm not getting all emotional or having a nervous breakdown!

Rylie takes the initiative to answer, "It's…wonderful?"

"Damn right it is. Now follow me and let's find a good van. I know there's a few collecting dust over there…" he trails off as he starts walking in the direction of one of the largest scrap metal heaps I've ever seen. I worked as a construction guy and I've seen some pretty messy heaps of debris in my time but this guy's backyard takes my breath away. So much so that Rylie is hauling me along while I gape in awe.

"Your lungs are going to get covered in a layer of dust if you keep holding your mouth open like that." At Rylie's words I snap my mouth firmly shut. No need to possibly take extra years off of my life.

Pinkie brings us up to a van that looks perfectly good apart from the fact that it's missing its entire front end. I inform him we need something a bit more road-safe. The second one we happen upon is missing all of its tires and a front axle so we keep searching. There are a lot of cars and trucks and unidentifiable objects mixed in with the rest of this scrap metal soup. It becomes apparent to both myself and Rylie that Pinkie has no visible way of organizing his wares.

We finally encounter a van that passes all of its outer appearance tests only to have Pinkie open up the side door and dash our hopes. It's been gutted. No seats, no stereo system, no nothing. Not even the steering wheel remains.

"Huh," he mutters, thoroughly stumped at our find. "Must have had some of those unruly teenagers come in here and make off with stuff. Out from under my nose again…damn brats." He coughs as the wind blows some dust up into his nose. "Guess I gotta get a vicious dog or somethin'."

We leave the scene of the petty crime and head deeper into the scrap yard. I'm starting to realize there's a lot more stuff here than what I could see from the road. We're beginning to weave carefully around the junk and various vehicle parts for fear of knocking things over. The junk is stacked high enough to give the impression that it's reaching towards the heavens. Our current state of affairs reminds me of scientists placing mice in maze boxes and watching them scramble to find a piece of cheese.

"Hmm, there has to be something around her somewhere…" Pinkie mumbles. I don't hear what else he says under his breath as the wind picks up and starts blowing dust and sand around. I shield my eyes and press on, following Pinkie's hair lest I get lost.

Our search isn't helped by the swirling dust. I can barely see anything in front of me. Thank goodness Mr. Scrap Metal has fluorescent preteen girl locks or I would be climbing a trash heap right about now. Even though I haven't turned around to check on Rylie in a few minutes I refuse to stop in fear of getting left behind in this maze. She's a big girl; she can take care of herself, right?

The wind pauses its relentless onslaught for a moment and the dust settles around our feet. I drag a hand through my hair and ruffle some dirt from the top of my head. I badly crave a shower right now.

"Hey, where'd the girl go?" Pinkie wonders, taking a quick look around.

"Oh my God, we lost my girlfriend!"

"Whoa, whoa buddy. Don't panic. Gwah!" I shove him aside as I start galloping backwards they way we'd come. "H-hey! Don't run! Wait!"

Either Pinkie's beer belly slows him down or the dust cloud I kick up blinds him. Whatever it is, when I stop my headfirst barrelling through the rubble of a thousand dinky vehicles Pinkie is nowhere to be seen.

Or, much more importantly, Rylie.

It's official; I _must_ have Protective Boyfriend Syndrome (PBS).

_See now this would have been a good time to hold her hand. You had an excuse and everything. Now she's lost and it's all your fault._

Me?

_Naw, I'm just kidding. Seriously though, if you want your balls intact by the end of this day you better find her. I have a vague idea of what Ritsu and the rest of those ladies will do to us when we return empty handed._

I gulp as a scene from a rated R movie flashes through my mind, with me as the victim and Ritsu as my torturer. Stupid Saku, making me watch horror movies with him. I always have vivid nightmares for weeks afterwards. I've watched one too many of those damn movies that I have a mounting collection of horrific scenes engraved into my memory. And if I go to sleep tonight I know exactly who's going to star in these imagined video clips.

"Rylie!" I scream at the top of my lungs, hoping she'll answer. "It's me, Tai–"

_God!_

"No, it's Taira!" Stop messing me up, Ra, you ass.

_I'm just a figment of your inner conscience. Haven't you ever heard of Sigmund Freud's theory of the mind? I'm the id, no doubt._

Yeah, I took that class, remember! And I didn't do so hot, _remember_? Because you kept telling me that the id was a part of the conscious mind.

…_huh. Then maybe I'm the ego._

I seriously doubt that. Now if you're not going to come up with a brilliant idea for how to find Rylie then get the hell out of my conscious mind.

_Fine. Umm…how about you climb to the top of that junk heap?_

I may be lovesick but I'm not suicidal.

_Fine, don't listen to any of my ideas! Good bye!_

As my mind quiets down I realize that I can't hear anything but the howling of the wind as it picks up again, blowing dust straight into my eyes. My curses are rather obscene, something that signifies how Chiba has rubbed off on me. The only reason I stop short of screaming my curses out is because Rylie's probably hiding on the opposite side of the trash heap in front of me.

After all, that would be my luck working, wouldn't it?

"Rylie!" I cry out again. I can taste a thin film of dust in my mouth. Every pore in my body not covered with clothing is filling up with the stuff. I can practically feel my skin drying up. I can now relate to a fish left out of the water and in the sun.

Okay, my screaming isn't really working, I'll acknowledge that.

I find myself subconsciously staring at the heap of trash in front of me. Well, it's not _that _tall. I doubt I'd die if I fell off the top of it or something. In fact I probably wouldn't even break any bones. The view would be much better from up there…

_Just face it; your sense of direction is pathetic. Without Saku here to point out north and south you don't have much of a chance of finding her. Besides, where's your sense of adventure?_

With the little voice in my head spurring me on I start testing my footing on the junk heap. Nothing is breaking or slipping out of place so I proceed tentatively forward, hands out to steady myself in case something goes horribly, horribly wrong. But, at the moment, my bad luck seems to be holding off. For now.

It takes me less time that I expected to scale the tower of junk. When I get to the top, which is rather angular in shape, I place one foot firmly on the opposite side on the down slope and keep my other foot and the majority of my weight on the other side that I've already tested to be safe.

Well, I could yell from up here. But I think looking around has less adverse effects. After all, Pinkie – who I see is on the other side of the junkyard – could hear me and freak out since I'm doing dangerous shit over here. His pink hair bobs up and down and I can tell that he's jogging. I can see Duff's paw print SmartCar from here as well. Still…there's no sign of the one person I absolutely must find.

I watch Pinkie as he exits the vehicle graveyard and doubles around the side of it. There seems to be multiple entrances to the yard and it makes me snigger. No wonder he has teenagers stealing his stuff all the time. He practically leaves it out for the taking.

"Taira, what are you doing up there?"

I'm startled into nearly falling forwards down the slope I haven't tested for safety yet. As I regain a normal breathing pattern and heartbeat I glance over my shoulder to see that Rylie has somehow snuck up behind me.

I bet if I had just kept walking in the direction I was going in I would've run into her. Figures.

"Looking for you!" I yell down at her. "You got lost in the dust!"

Rylie looks up at me quizzically. "Actually, I found a good van and I was trying to call you guys to stop for a second and come see it but somehow both of you suddenly became deaf. I figured it was because of a build-up of dust in your ears but hey, at least I found you now."

She found me. Right. There's no 'Taira saved the day'. There's only 'Rylie found Taira on top of a pile of scrap looking suspiciously like he wanted to commit suicide.' Yep. Trying to regain one's pride is harder than it looks.

"Are you coming down?" she shouts, squinting up at me. For some odd, odd reason I suddenly wonder what colour underwear I put on this morning. Since she's looking straight up at me and all. I know she can't see up my shorts but there's still that awkward feeling.

Now not only can I relate to a dried up fish but I can also put myself in the place of a short girl who's having problems with guys staring down at her chest and wondering what kind of a bra she's wearing.

As I'm thinking all of this Rylie's starting to get impatient, leaning back on her heels and shoving her hands deep into the pockets of the shorts she's wearing. "So, uh, are you going to come down?" Then she gets a troubled look on her face as if she's just thought of something terrible. "Don't tell me you just realized you have a fear of heights!"

"No, no, I'm fine," I assure her. "Just…thinking." I decide to try and save my pride, bruised and beaten as it is. "I'm not scared or anything, don't worry. I'll be down in a second."

As I start to step down the safe side of the junk stack I get a bit overconfident in my ability to regain my lost composure and speed up my pace. I can't help myself; Rylie's practically waiting for me with open arms. Of course I would hurry my ass up. But what is also fast going is my luck. Not as fast as my pride, mind you, but pretty damn close.

I step on a loose piece of sheet metal and the sandal I'm wearing doesn't grip anything, a trait almost every sandal has. I slide down the length of the sheet and stub every single one of my toes on my right foot as I frantically move my other one to safer footing. But, alas, gravity kicks in and I slip further towards Earth. I come unceremoniously toppling down the heap of junk, too terrified for my life to let out even a little whimper of fear. I don't land on my face, rather the palms of my hands but my ass sticks up into the air, shooting the breeze. As I look up frantically and scramble to my feet I notice Rylie has turned her back to my modest accident.

I can't help but groan and realize what she's attempting to do. "You're trying to pretend you didn't see that just now, aren't you?"

"Am I really that obvious?" she asks, peeking over her shoulder with a hand over her mouth. Probably trying to stifle a giggling fit.

Those giggles, they come out full force once I start limping towards her, my right foot maimed beyond all recognition.

Okay, my foot doesn't look _that_ bad but it sure feels like I've been stepped on by a horse. A Clydesdales like King to be exact. Yes, I still haven't gotten over my newfound fear of large beasts yet.

"I won't bother asking if you're in pain, since it's written clearly all over your face." She walks up to meet me half-way and says, "I'm not about to kiss your boo-boos all better but…" She leans up to give me a soft kiss, which at this point I milk for all it's worth. What transpires during the next minute and a half is basically my assault on her lips. There's a bit of wandering hands mixed in too but before I can get too intimate she slaps my hands away and states, "I found a van that could be 'the one'."

Mood killer.

I whine a little and place my head dejectedly upon her shoulder. "Can it wait? We haven't been alone since…_forever_." I think my overemphasis makes her crack because before I know it she's forcibly silencing me with her lips. See, whining in moderation _does_ work.

A man never truly realizes how hungry he is for some lovin' until he's got the remedy in his arms aiming to please him. Or that's the way it is for me anyway.

When Rylie grabs the back of my head in an obvious attempt at pulling us closer together I take the initiative to step forward and see if I can get a French kiss out of this whole ordeal. She gasps as I step closer and I seize the moment to deftly delve my tongue into her mouth. Her lips come down over my tongue and there's a slight hint of suction that goes straight to my groin. Her fingers in my hair loosen and her lips move against mine almost as if she's telling me some secret message.

Since I forgot to breath and am now getting a euphoric high from a combination of Rylie and a lack of air I pull back from the kiss. As soon as I let go Rylie desperately grabs the front of my shirt almost as if she's about to flop over. I of course see this gesture as 'oh my God she wants more' and immediately dive in for another kiss.

This time though she turns her face to the side and I attach myself to her cheek like one of those sucker fish against a fish tank. …I'm really thinking fish today for some reason.

I can feel her lips move against my ear as she breathlessly confesses, "I can't feel my toes."

I detach from her cheek and tell her earnestly, "I know right? Kissing you feels amazing."

The hand in my hair clenches as she rebuttals. "No, I mean I really can't feel them because you're standing on them!"

"Shit." I practically leap off of her feet and stare transfixed at the red sandal marks on her toes. "Sorry. Guess we both have feet issues now.

"You're so funny," she says dryly before grabbing my shoulders and turning me around. I limply allow myself to be turned, imagining that she's beyond pissed off at me. She pushes me forward by my shoulders in the direction of her choosing. "_Now let's go look at the van._"

Her tone leaves no room for argument and I gulp before mumbling a much better apology that the one I offered before. "I'. HonestIdidn'tmeanit. Pleasedon'tbemad."

For a second I think my gushing apology falls on deaf ears but she soon replies, "Huh? What?" I stupidly repeat myself word for word and she snorts. "Oh, I've already forgiven you silly. Now hurry up! I want you to see what I managed to find!" She pushes harder against my back until I really start to get going. Then she lets go and rushes past me with a grin on her face. But not before giving my butt a playful squeeze.

I won't lie and say my butt isn't tingling with both pain and pleasure after that little stunt. But now's not the time to feel like a masochist _or_ stare dumbfounded off into the distance; my girl's getting away and leaving me quite literally in the dust.

"H-hey! Wait up!"

Sure enough, Rylie leads us to the supposed 'one'. This van is a faded red with a few spots of unintelligible graffiti and looks like it's seen it's fair share of asphalt and open blue sky. It hasn't rusted nearly as bad as the van that we lost to Lake Michigan but it is still a sorry sight.

I'm not about to laugh at Rylie's supposedly 'great' find. I don't need to give her a reason to tell the guys about my attempts at ballet as I almost fell to my death down a pile of scrap metal.

"It's not the best looking," she freely acknowledges when she sees my dubious expression. "But I checked out the engine and all that and it looks like it had its innards replaced not that long ago. So I'm guessing it runs." Wow, I had all but forgotten she'd taken some kind of automotive class back in high school.

"Sweet Mother Mary I thought I was going to have to call the police and get the hounds out to find you two!"

Both of us jump at the sound of Pinkie's voice. Automatically we turn to each other with similar expressions of guilt. I also worry that we're not supposed to be standing where we are. Rylie did, after all, lead us out of the main junk yard.

"Did you two get lost?" he inquires, even though it's kind of redundant to ask such a thing. I say yes but at the same time Rylie replies no. We're both telling the truth. Confused, Pinkie shakes his head and seems to see what we were busy looking at for the first time.

"Oh sweet Mother Mary again. You two just have a magnetic force for trouble."

Rylie, at that point, steps away from the van as if it may spontaneously blow up. I do the same, though my limping doesn't allow me to make as smooth a getaway.

"What do you mean?" Rylie asks.

Pinkie just strokes the beginnings of a beard on his face. "That van you too seemed so interested in was actually just retired. And you want to know who just retired it? Us; Superfunk. There are a lot of memories attached to that thing. That's why it's not in the junk yard with the rest of 'em."

"Oh man, well, in that case I guess we better go find a different one," I conclude.

Before I can turn to head back into hell Pinkie holds up his hands. "Hey, whoa, hold on a sec, kid. Not so fast. Tell me your destination. Where's your tour ending?"

"In Seattle. That's the last city we're going to visit before we go back home," Rylie informs him.

Slowly Pinkie nods. The sight faintly reminds me of a Buddhist giving a sagely incline of their head after receiving spiritual enlightenment. When he raises his eyes to ours once more he says solemnly, "Then it is settled. You kids need this van. Never in its years of enlistment into our humble band has it ever failed to get us to our final destination."

As he pulls out an enormous ring of keys from his pocket I can't help but feel like one of the contestants on _The Amazing Race_ where the guy pulls out a ballot with the instructions to the next part of their life on the road. Only instead of simply handing over a ballot this guy scrunches up his face at the forty odd keys jingling in his hand, taking each one and examining it carefully. I hadn't considered that finding a van was only half the battle.

It takes Pinkie about ten minutes of fumbling to find the right key and to take it off the key ring. Then it takes him a mere ten seconds of sentimental staring before he tosses it over to me. Much to my own surprise I manage to catch his throw.

"That's the one and only key to the van. You going to drive it back, kid?"

Before I can answer Rylie pipes up, "Yes, yes he's going to drive it. I'll take the car."

I sputter as she takes off at a brisk walk away from us guys, leaving me no time for an argument. Pinkie just shrugs and proclaims, "There should be gas in the Superclunk."

"The _what_?"

"I said there should already be gas in the Superclunk, kid. What, do you have dust in your ears or somethin'?"

"Apparently," I mutter under my breath, opening up the driver's door and sliding inside. No wonder Pinkie has teenagers ripping him off all the time; he doesn't lock any of his vehicles.

I turn the key in the ignition to see that Pinkie's right about the van having gas in the tank still. Briefly I wonder how long the van's been sitting in the junkyard. I don't know all that much about vehicles but I'm thinking that if it's been idle for a long time I might have the pleasure of finding out there's more problems with the van than first anticipated.

"Hey, how long has…oh."

Yeah, I'm alone. No one here beside me. Using my side mirror I can just make out the obnoxious pink hair of the guy whose real name I can't remember heading off into the distance. Rylie's long gone by now and I fear she's already on the road back to Cosy's. Oh well, best get a move on then.

I place my foot on the brake before shifting out of park. The gear shift makes a loud crunching noise and a smidgeon of panic hits my gut. Did I break something? Hmm.

As I nervously let off on the brake the van dolefully rolls forward. Okay, so I'm guessing that everything in this vehicle hasn't been oiled and properly maintained since 1969. I shall have to proceed with caution from here on out. Especially since everyone has left me for the buzzards to pick at my bones.

Soon enough I manage to get the van to the entrance of the junkyard only to find that the SmartCar and the motorcycle have already left me far behind. I head out onto the highway and start to notice that the van is behaving oddly. As I'm trying to drive the van straight (the steering wheel is pulling strongly to the right) I begin to hear a soft noise coming from a location I can't seem to pinpoint. At first I think something is loose and brushing up against a hollow bit of metal somewhere. But, as I continue to press on through the dust, I realize that either my ears are clearing out or the sound I'm hearing is getting louder.

That or my senses are just heightened because I'm a paranoid son of a bitch.

"No, I am definitely hearing some strange shit," I reassure myself aloud. It's oddly comforting to hear my own voice above the noise emanating from the crevices of the vehicle. Even if my voice is wavering and sounding incredibly high-pitched.

"Look Taira, there's a sign for Cosy's. You're going to get there in one piece. Whatever's going on with this vehicle, there's no way it'll quit on you before you even get twenty minutes of road time. Besides, remember what Pinkie said: 'Never in its years of enlistment into our humble band has it ever failed to get us to our final destination.' Wait, me, myself and I don't exactly count as a _band_."

All of a sudden, as if to enunciate my newfound iota of alarm, a huge pop like a miniature bomb scares me into loosening my grip on the wheel. The van lurches to the right thanks to the steering wheel's misalignment and I quickly come to my senses before I skid off the road into the ditch.

_Clunk. Clunk. _

Okay, something is clunking and I really hope that whatever is going on with this van it will have no adverse affects on my health. Apprehensively I realize that the sound from before was actually a quieter version of the sound I'm now hearing.

_Clunk, clunk._

Now I know how Pinkie so aptly named this van.

_Clunk, clunk, clunk._

I figure that if I don't make it back to Cosy's, that clunking noise is going to be the last sound I hear before I die.

* * *

**A.N.:** I don't know if you guys know this already but the easiest parts of this story for me to write are the ones where: a) Taira is getting injured, b) Taira is getting his pride bruised and c) Taira is falling off something _and then_ getting injured.

As always, read and review is the motto. Every little comment is greatly appreciated.

~Reiki


	22. Taco Time

**Author's Note**: What is this? An update? Well, kiss me sharries, it is. Damn, I have nothing to say at this point to redeem myself, only that if it weren't for dear Gibson77 I probably would have continued to neglect this poor baby. And that just wouldn't fly with my writer within. But yeah, for all the nonbelievers, this is indeed an update. Feel free to throw tomatoes at me after this, since I really do deserve a rotten vegetable or two.

**Disclaimer**: I only own the plot of this story and the unrecognizable characters. I write to entertain.

**Warnings**: Rated for excessive swearing and scenes involving violence and sexual stuffs.

* * *

**Gigs from Hell**

Chapter 22 – Taco Time

* * *

"I think that taco I ate is starting to come back up."

"I told you it isn't a good idea to eat greasy food in the morning!"

"It's Monday, the beginning of the week and a fresh start, and you're already eating fast food?" asks Kim, turning up her nose in disgust.

"Rylie, cover me," Ritsu croaks before leaping up and making a beeline for the ladies room. I dash after her, knowing that someone has to hold her hair back from her face while she keels over the toilet. That someone has always been me.

What transpires for the next ten minutes is nothing short of a retching hell. I can only pat my drummer's back and wonder what other bands do to keep themselves healthy. This tour has been one gruelling affair after another and the subject of malnutrition had been pushed to the backburner on one too many occasions.

"We're going to have to start eating healthier," Chi says, appearing in the doorway of the bathroom where I'm holding Ritsu's hair out of the way of projectile vomit. "That or restrain Ritsu from each and every fast food place around here. She has an unhealthy penchant for beef. Burgers, tacos…look where it's getting her."

Kim's face appears over Chi's shoulder. "We've got about four hours until we have to be at the venue for sound check. Why don't we go to the grocery store and see what we can find? Anything eaten from there should sit better in our systems than this." She gestures to Ritsu's hunched and shaking form. In response, Ritsu groans and waves us off.

"Go on without me," she whispers into the toilet bowl. "I'll only slow you down."

"Oh come on Ritsu, you're making this sound like a really bad adventure drama," I inform her. She grunts and dry heaves until there's no more energy left in her. Poor thing.

"'Sides, I think I have a fever," she mutters. I snake a hand around to touch her forehead and sure enough she's definitely more hot-headed than usual.

I whip my head towards the doorway and give Chi and Kim a mortified look. Then, so as not to alarm Ritsu I mouth, 'She's fucking sick! _Sick_!'

Chi clamps a hand to her mouth and Kim sighs heavily. We all know the truth of the matter; Ritsu sick means that she won't be able to count to four properly. Her drumming will be absolute crap tonight.

"Okay, you know what Rylie, change of plans. Chi and I will head over to the grocery store and pick up some stuff. You can stay here with Ritsu and make sure she recovers." Kim flexes her fingers as if she's getting ready to fight a battle with only her fists. I've only seen her do this when she's either scared or backed into a corner by some pervert. The former being directly related to the latter, naturally.

I leave Ritsu sprawled out on the hotel room's bathroom floor after checking her pulse and join the rest of my band who've relocated to the hallway outside out room. Since Ritsu is out of earshot, I allow myself to panic.

"What if she gets worse and can't play at all!"

"Rylie, calm down. Just keep her in bed and eventually whatever is wrong with her will go out of her system, trust me. That's what fevers indicate, you dunce."

Chi's wavering voice was not reassuring.

"We'll bring back extra-healthy food packed with lots of vitamins and minerals," Kim says, her voice firm and much calmer than Chi's. "Just try to keep her in bed. Remember, she's a roamer when she's sick."

I gulp thickly as I recalled the one and only time I'd seen Ritsu actually get feverish. She had been convinced that a walk outside would do her good and instead nearly got hit by an assortment of vehicles. Her ability to judge right from wrong and safe from unsafe had been completely distorted.

"Bring back some rope too," I tell the girls quietly. "Just in case things get…_nasty_."

Chi frowns, giving me a reprimanding look. "We're not going to tie her down to the bed! She could cause serious property damage!"

And with that, my girls bid me adieu.

I go back inside the hotel room and open a window to let some fresh air in. As I do this, Ritsu stumbles out of the bathroom and crashes her forehead into the adjacent wall with a loud _thump_. I watch as she hugs the wall for a moment, getting her bearings, then grimace as she tries to make for the hotel door.

I move quickly to block the door off before she can hobble over and grab the handle to freedom. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Outside. Fresh air," she moans, slinking against the wall she's using for support. "I need to walk!"

"I opened a window in here already," I say, gesticulating in the general direction of the breeze blowing through the glass panes.

"I need to walk," she insists firmly.

"No, you need to rest." I must be just as firm with her.

My rebuttal goes ignored. She tries to push past me to get at the door but her attempts are feeble, resulting in her own exhaustion. She hasn't the strength and in the end I find myself forcibly dragging her away from the object of her desires. I forcibly hoist her small body up off the ground. Her upper half is slung over my shoulder and she is, as usual, kicking and screaming the whole way back to bed. A fucking disobedient child to the very end.

Of course, Kim and Chi were smart enough to jump ship when they could. Being the band leader did not come with that all-inclusive privilege.

"I'm fine," Ritsu kept repeating. "Fine. I even took medicine."

I stiffen before throwing her onto the bed. She glares at me innocently.

"What kind of medicine?" I ask dangerously. I knew for a fact that I'd used the last of the Advil tablets last week for a headache. I don't know what kind of drugs Chi has stashed away in her purse, but I do know that Kim is anti-everything-that-could-be-labelled-as-a-drug. Therefore, I'm rightfully worried. "Did Chi give you something?"

Ritsu shrugs nonchalantly. "I found some pills in the cabinet. I think someone left them behind."

I choke on my spit as I run to the bathroom and practically tear the hinges off of the little cabinet above the bathroom sink. Sure enough, beside a little first aide kit, is three small cylindrical bottles. I grab them all and bring them back to the bed for further examination.

Ritsu appears disinterested when I ask her what she's taken. She points at the biggest bottle and I read the label aloud.

"Vitamin C tablets," I read, picking up the bottle. The big bottle that is almost too wide for my little hand to grasp comfortably feels empty. "How many of these did you take?"

"All of them."

I gag; the label said it had been a bottle containing exactly three hundred tablets. Unable to contain myself I screech: "How many is _all of them_!"

She counts on her fingers offhandedly. "I dunno…five, ten. They taste like candy when you chew them. Orange candy." She licks her lips and continues rambling. "I like orange candy. And oranges. Especially those ones that come around Christmas time. Mm, snow. Orange snow. Orange slushies out of orange snow…"

I let out a sigh as I contemplated the bottle in my hand. Even I knew that it was impossible to overdose on vitamin C. In fact, I had a school buddy once swear by his vitamin C tablets, saying that they alone saved him from the flu that everyone in school had come down with. Perhaps they could magically boost Ritsu's energy levels so she could recover from her taco upset.

"I took some pills from that container too," she says suddenly, pointing at a bottle that was rolling around on the bed as we shifted to adjust our sitting positions. I lean over and snatch it up for further inspection.

"…What the hell are these?" I ask no one in particular, scrutinizing the label. I can't even pronounce the name, never mind recognize the drug. "How many did you take of this thing?"

She grabs the bottle from me and locates the fine print on the side. "Don't be surprised, but I can read a lot of English too you know. It says to take two tablets every four hours."

"So you took two of these and somewhere between five and ten vitamin C tablets, right?"

"Well, actually I took three of these since, you know, I like odd numbers. Plus they always prescribe less of a medication than you actually need." Ritsu nodded confidently, her reasoning intelligent to her ears.

For the second time that day I choke on my own saliva.

"You took too goddamn many!"

"You know what my philosophy is when it comes to life and drums: more is _always_ better."

I'm panting with fright and wondering if I should find to phone book to look up poison control. "What if you overdose! Do you have any idea how bad this is! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a drummer that can actually count to four!"

All questions and no answers from Ritsu.

Just as I was about to tell her how hard it was to find a drummer that had made it through kindergarten successfully, a knock echoed through the room.

"Pizza's here," Ritsu mutters, rolling over onto her side. One of her arms fell limply over the side of the bed. "Mmm, pizza. Pizza and orange slushies."

"Who is it?" I call out, none too keen on leaving Ritsu's side now that she's gone and ingested a potentially fatal amount of over-the-counter medication. Or, at least what I hope was an over-the-counter medication.

"It's me. Taira." There was some scuffling on the other side of the door and a sharp remark that sounded like Chiba's raspy voice.

"Come in," I yell over Ritsu's muttering about the finer points of pepperoni and cheese pizza. As if she needsd any more greasy food. That alone is the reason for her sickness this morning.

There is an extremely pregnant pause. "Well, I would, but these hotel doors are kind of locked you know. I don't have a key."

I get up to answer the door, feeling stupid that I've forgotten something so obvious and paranoid because my drummer is now making snow angels on the bed. Were those convulsions a sign of early seizures? Did that drug induce muscle spasms?

So many questions, so little medical knowledge.

I do the one thing I can do successfully. I open the door, revealing Taira's concerned face.

"Is she okay? Kim and Chi told everyone that Ritsu's sick," Taira whispers through the crack I created. I'm wary of opening the door all the way to let him in, just in case Ritsu decides to try to make a break for the outside world.

"Where is everyone?" I ask, noticing that Chiba's the only one standing behind Taira. He looks bored beyond belief and is picking at the dirt that has accumulated under his fingernails, disinterested with the whole situation, no doubt.

"Well, I sent Ryusuke with Duff to take Sublime for a walk and Saku and Koyuki wanted to help out the girls…so it's just Chiba and I here at the moment." Taira tries to peer past my fluffed up hair that I'd neglected to style into a more presentable shape this morning before Ritsu's sudden vomiting fit. "Um…can we come in?"

I glance over my shoulder at Ritsu. She is still convinced its December and snowing heavily. Her delusional attempts at conveying angels' wings were intensifying, much to my mounting concern.

"S-sure," I stutter, lost in a myriad of horrific thoughts about the side effects of that unpronounceable drug. "I'll warn you though; she's unpredictable when she's got a fever."

Taira and Chiba saunter into the dimly lit room, lacking the cautiousness that I wish they'd have. They really don't realize the severity of this situation. Those poor, poor unsuspecting fools.

It isn't long at all until Taira's the first casualty.

"Pizza man!" Ritsu wails, throwing herself at Taira. She latches on to his chest like a leech. The force of the impact sends Taira into the nearby wall, sputtering and trying to dislodge his attacker.

Normally, any girl who threw themselves at my man would get a serious ass-kicking. Ritsu isn't herself though, that much is clear by the way she's trying to peel back Taira's clothes. Searching for invisible pizza, obviously. Man, I knew her so well.

"Where's the pizza? Give it to me," Ritsu demands. Unsure of what's going on but recognizing that he is quickly losing some of his clothing, Taira calls for help. I stand there, unmoving, since I know sooner rather than later Ritsu will let go of Taira and lose interest in him. Chiba, however, who has not had any previous experiences with the girl whilst ill, disregards my standoffish example.

He grabs Ritsu from under her arms and tries to pull her off of his best friend. Taira loses his shirt to Ritsu's clutches and tries to scoot away from the thrashing girl, but her legs are around his midsection and holding fast. He appears extremely traumatized and my heart goes out to the poor fellow. He's probably thinking that Ritsu is going to rape him right then and there on a dirty hotel floor.

Eventually, Chiba rips off the leech. Unfortunately for him, she turns around and decides it's time to switch her assault victim. Not in the way anyone had been expecting, however.

What Ritsu does surprises us all. So much so that nobody has any sense left to do anything about it, Chiba included.

She lays a wet one on him. Right smack dab on his partially open lips where two week old fuzz has marched past acceptable territory. _Right there_.

We all sputter as she draws back, staggering out of Chiba's limp grip. My naughty mind is already fixing the calculations from before, about how probable it is that those two would get together during this tour. Taira too appears a bit fazed, the gears in his mind turning this new event around in disbelief.

I feel sorriest for Chiba, who stands there awkwardly and takes it, blushing brighter than a stop sign caught in the Superclunk's high beams. He really doesn't know what to think.

While we are all caught in our separate thoughts, Ritsu pushes past me and Taira, making a clear beeline for the door.

"Distraction!" she howls, propelling herself forward with staggering leaps and bounds. She hits a wall with her shoulder as if horribly drunk, but manages to open the door and throw her body through it before I can scream that we've all been duped by a drugged up drummer.

The hotel room door closes with a loud click, obscuring her from my vision for the first time today.

"Shit!"

I take off after her as soon as I recover, spilling out of the room and onto the pale pink carpeting of the hallway. Taira and Chiba – who's about as disoriented as Ritsu seems to be with this new development – both crash into me when I stop to consider which direction she went in. For a woman running on nothing but vitamin C tablets and some drug I can't pronounce, she is pretty damn quick to get her ass out of sight.

Taira can sense my frustration. I am so far gone that I can't even formulate a plan of action. Luckily, he comes to my rescue.

"I'll go right; you two go left," he says, already taking off. I bid him a snappy nod and barrel down the hall, Chiba jogging beside me. I really need to lose the heels because I am not moving as fast as I should be. At this rate, I'll never recover her.

I catch a glimpse of my percussionist rounding a corner before disappearing. She is _right there _and I can't fucking catch up! "Fuck, get her while I get my shoes off!"

Chiba doesn't understand my garbled words at first, until I halt and began struggling with the straps on my shoes, all but ripping the fake leather to shreds. Then a light bulb goes off. "Go! Stop her!" That spurs him in the sides. He gallops on, the bonny brave soldier that he truly is underneath all that bush. I watch him disappear around the corner Ritsu had taken while I struggle on, fighting my own battle.

It takes much longer than I originally thought to get the heeled boots off. I leave them where they fall, running in socks down the carpeted hallway and feeling the dirt permeate the fabric. Ugh. But I have no time to whine. Not with Ritsu potentially wrecking havoc on Minneapolis, Minnesota, and its poor, unsuspecting inhabitants.

I suppose I should recap the events of the past couple days. Truthfully, little had happened after Taira brought the Superclunk back to Cosy's. We left our other van sun tanning on the beach. We also left a wonderful message on our record label manager's answering machine. We still haven't heard back from Mr. Yamada, but that could be my fault entirely, since my phone has been off since the moment I finished leaving that little message.

After all, I needed to give the man time to calm down.

Regardless, we were in Minnesota now, after a relatively unnerving ride in the Superclunk. I honestly had prayed for deliverance more during that car ride than all the other trips from one place to another combined.

And now I'm praying that Ritsu won't do anything stupid. I seem to be speaking to God a lot lately, even though I hardly consider myself religious. It's the worry, I'm telling you.

I follow the sound of footsteps ahead of me, dodging in and out of the occasional blockade of hotel employees, who each give me room to pass and point me in the direction of the two hooligans who'd darted by earlier. Thank goodness the Americans are being helpful today.

I reach the front lobby and the clerk behind the desk is staring wide-eyed in one direction. The direction of the door. I figure something unexpected has happened in that general direction, so that is the direction I go.

My stomach flips like a dying fish as I run outside panting, searching the parking lot for my friends. I find a blob of blonde before anything else shows up in my vision.

"Rylie! Did you find her?" Taira calls, appearing from a door farther down the side of the building.

He runs up to me as I shake my head. "I don't know where she is!"

No sooner had I said that than I heard screaming. And where there is screaming, there is excitement. And where there is excitement, there is Ritsu doing something unbelievably _stupid_.

Taira's thinking along the same lines. We follow the shrieking, which I've determined is coming from some woman scared shitless, until we come upon a scene that has me gaping and curling my socked toes.

It would have been fine…had there been water in the pool. But, running up to the edge of the concrete and looking down into the off-white, corrugated depths, it is anything but _fine_. From there my eyes travel up, up, up, until they land on the speck of brown hair and ragged clothing far above my head. Ritsu. On a diving board twenty five feet above the ground. Looking into the hotel's outdoor pool that didn't have any goddamn water in it.

If she jumps, she is going to hit that concrete harder than she'd ever hit any of her drums before. She is going to be fucking _obliterated_. I have no idea if it is even possible to reassemble a percussionist after a leap like that. Oddly enough, I am reminded of a time way back in Japan when we lost an entire drumset out the back of a van and it was squashed into a million pieces by a transport.

Thinking about it makes me shiver even now.

"Ritsu, don't you dare fucking jump on me!"

She hears my screaming and turns her body towards me, sidling out further on the ledge of doom, completely oblivious to her current danger.

"I can't jump on you if you aren't directly below me!" she calls back, her voice wavering. "Besides, I want to go in the water!"

She is certainly seeing things that aren't there. That much I can gather. "I meant: don't jump at all! Just…climb down or something!"

I hadn't noticed it before, but there is a big bushy bush going up the ladder after her. A few silent seconds pass me by, then I see the arms and legs of this bush and recognize that it is indeed Taira's intrepid best friend. Still going like I told him to.

I didn't know if Chiba going up there is a good thing or a bad thing. Very likely Ritsu will get pissed and jump off the diving board just to get away from him. But, there is the small, _slight_ chance that she will get distracted, because what Chiba holds in his hand could very well be the key to her heart.

It is then that I turn my attention to Screaming Lady. Now that I'm looking at her, I can see she's in a vibrant, red, work uniform. Taira is, currently, trying to soothe this lady whilst shouting at Chiba to grab Ritsu. Before Ritsu could turn around and see Chiba sneaking up on her, I slap a hand over Taira's mouth.

"Shh…just wait," I tell him, voice shaking as I watch the afro-head peek over the bottom of the platform. "Don't blow his cover if he's going to sneak up on her!" Ritsu is still looking down at me, then back at the pool. My breath catches when she raises her arms above her head. Her signal for diving.

Screaming Lady screams.

Then Ritsu spins around, finally detecting Chiba's presence. I had no idea if he called out to her, or if he just made an involuntary noise of sorts, but my drummer is frozen in place, likely glaring at the intruder to her fun. I can't hear a word of whatever they say to one another, but it looked as if both were equally angry. Then, just as I am beginning to think the situation could be salvaged, Ritsu turns away from him again and faces the concrete down with determination that stabs me in the heart with worry. She makes a motion that suggests treading water and I swear I could see her smiling, the stupid idiot.

"Oh god," Taira whispers, his breath hitching.

In the hushed quiet that prevails, I hear Chiba shout something indistinguishable. Once again, Ritsu turns around. This time, however, he has flourished his secret weapon. It lies in a rectangular cardboard box and catches Ritsu's ardent attention.

A sudden movement on the board causes me to sink my nails into Taira's arm in horror. But then I realize she's running away from the edge, towards Chiba, and that he is handing her the pizza box. Somehow, hanging on a ladder many feet about the ground, Chiba takes the opportune moment when Ritsu stoops to collect her prize to grab her around her lithe waist and drag her off of the platform.

I choke on my saliva again, thinking he would drop her for sure, but then I notice how dolefully she climbs onto his back, box in one hand, the other arm strangling the afro-headed hero. Almost planned. Perfectly executed.

"Holy fuck. What the hell is this?"

My thoughts exactly Taira. My thoughts exactly.

We rush to the base of the diving board, gathering around the ladder as Chiba descends, Ritsu hanging off his back like a monkey. Things are raining down around us, little scraps, and I scrutinize one of them, determining that it's a piece of pepperoni. Half munched on and still slick with slobber. Utterly disgusting, but oddly relieving to see.

A woody clunk makes me jump, as I am still high-strung from the near fatal accident. I go over to the dropped pizza box and picked it up, noticing how light it is. Inside, the box is nearly empty. Only one singular piece remains, and even then all of the toppings have been picked off. Obviously, Ritsu had been hungry upon her descent back to sanity.

Taira receives Ritsu into his arms, who is limp and giggling some delusional jargon. I then instruct him to _never_, under any circumstances, let go of my drummer. Not until Chi and Kim return, hopefully with some rope.

While he gathers up Ritsu, whose face is covered in pizza grease and tomato sauce, Chiba turns around and glares at me. I am unsure if I should thank him profusely or laugh.

Most of the right side of his face, from forehead to chin, is obscured by a singular piece of pizza, one that has lovingly adhered to his sweat. He makes no motion to pull it off, only continues staring with his one good eye, awaiting my reaction.

When he sees I'm not about to do anything, he peels the pizza off his face and throws it into the empty pool angrily. It leaves behind a red residue, and one piece of stubborn pepperoni sticks firmly to the area just below his eye. "Your drummer is fucking nuts! Never again! Next time just give her the goddamn pizza!"

As he storms off before I can thank him, or laugh at him for that matter, Screaming Lady walks up. She seems incredibly shaken by the whole incident, her dishevelled appearance mirroring what I feel inside.

Screaming Lady, who is actually Pizza Delivery Lady, takes the empty box from my hands numbly. We leave her standing there next to the pool, eyes wide, and likely wondering if we were all high on drugs or something of the sort. We head back to the hotel room, Taira carrying Ritsu, who is mumbling something about snow and orange and the sky. I'm just glad she isn't trying to break free to go on another adventure.

I've had enough excitement for one day, thanks.

We get back to the room and Taira dumps her on a bed, where she promptly continues to create her snow angels, not acknowledging either of us. Eventually, Taira leaves once he sees that Ritsu has tired herself out, her eyes falling closed and her angel-making movements becoming less frequent. When he does, I grab a bit of toilet paper and clean up her face as best I can, which in fact makes it look worse, all red and crusty and stuff. Ugh.

Just as Ritsu dozes off and I sit down for a rest, people burst into the room. I half expect Chiba to come storming in to get revenge for his pizza face, but it's not him, but rather Chi and Kim with their two volunteered pack mules.

"We're back!" Chi sings, dropping some grocery bags onto the floor and bouncing over with open arms. Before she can hug me, I flop down on the bed with an anguished groan and pretend to pass out, hoping the storm will pass me by. It doesn't. It jumps right on me and embraces me. _Ugh_.

I hate Mondays.

* * *

The gig goes about as well as I thought it would.

Ritsu woke up with a high fever, but we couldn't cancel on such short notice, so we trudged on anyway. Luckily, Beck played first, so our abomination of a performance was the last of a relatively good night. Abomination being the key word in understanding our night.

Ritsu had invented a new form of music, I swear to Jaco. While there are many weird 'cores,' like hardcore or metalcore or even mathcore, hers was an entirely new core that I would dub 'abusecore'. Basically, all one has to do to qualify for abusecore is rig the PA system so only the drums could be heard, get mad because some idiot complained, and then beat the shit out of him and his group of friends with one's drumsticks. It was an eventful night, and I'm sad to say she wasn't even drunk. Just crazy and delusional.

The manager of that venue certainly did not want to pay us, and I couldn't blame him. Beck was paid, of course, for their outstanding live that got everyone in the crowd howling the lyrics and stomping along to the beat, but we were more or less kicked out. (It took five security guards plus the bouncer to forcibly extract Ritsu from the man she was pummelling.) Ryusuke and Duff had a talking with the manager and somehow managed to get him to pay us a bit for our troubles, but how they achieved that I had no idea. Likely there had been some threatening involved. Even likelier was that those threats involved my dear percussionist, who is currently lying face down on the hotel room bed, snoring away innocently.

She won't remember any of this come morning.

"Sublime. Just _sublime_."

Said dog raises her head. "No, not you."

She trots over regardless, long, snake-like tail wagging away. She comes right over to the edge of the bed and lays her head on my thigh, so I stroke her ears for a while, until she starts pawing at me to scratch her tummy.

Chi and Kim are in the next room sleeping, the failure of a gig having taken a chunk out of everyone. I should be sleeping too, but somehow I've become a temporary insomniac. I think it's the fear that we're going to be homeless when we get back to Japan that is making me lose some valuable shuteye. One would think I'd get used to the worry, but no, it only gets worse.

After a few minutes spent repelling Sublime's advances, I get up off the bed and throw on some warmer clothes. Then I grab her leash from the table, which presses Sublime's happy bark button. I click the snap to test it, sending Sublime into a wriggling frenzy. It takes ten minutes to calm her down enough to get the leash on, being the overexcitable pooch that she is.

The excitement and bouncing, _oh god the bouncing_, lasts the entire walk down the stairs and to the first floor. By the time we get out the door she is darting this way and that, never heeding my calls for heel. I figure that whatever walking I may do will only last a few minutes at most with such a rambunctious pup, so I didn't deem it important to leave a note. I didn't think Ritsu would wake up anyway. And even if she did, she wouldn't read a freakin' note. She'd just sniff me out like a basset hound if she needed me.

Drummers are like that. They can find their bassist anywhere.

"It's a nice night, isn't it, Sublime?" I ask the dog. She ignores me in favour of sniffing the piss of a thousand beasts on the side of a pole. I have no one else to talk to, so I continue on, pretending that she's listening and hanging on my every word. "At least it's not too hot anymore."

"Yeah, it was pretty hot for a while there, wasn't it?"

"Holy fucking shit!" I scream, jumping out of my skin and back in again. Sublime startles, not so much by the person standing beside me, but rather because of my shrieking.

"Now that description of shit paints a wonderful picture," he says dryly.

"Chiba, what the hell are you doing up so late? Seriously, you scared me."

Chiba shrugs his shoulders, half of the movement lost to the darkness that surrounds us. The nearest overhead lamp is a few feet off and we were just on the fringes of the light. "Yeah, I guess I did scare you. Sorry. But I could ask you the same question. Shouldn't you be sleeping? I thought you were going to navigate to Rapid City tomorrow while Taira drives."

"Oh yeah. North Dakota. Damn, that's going to be a long ride. As for why I'm still up, let's just say I can't sleep for some reason."

We fell into a silence then, with the only noise being the crickets chirping and Sublime sniffing. Finally I say, "Thanks a lot for earlier. You saved her life, I think. I didn't tell the others what happened, and neither did Taira when I talked to him earlier."

Again Chiba shrugs noncommittally, but I like to think he's madly blushing. "Whatever. She's still fucking nuts. What the hell was up with her today…and tonight?"

"Fever and drugs. Lethal combination."

"Yeah…_lethal_."

Sublime finishes sniffing piss and moves on to snuffle Chiba's leg, wagging her tail in recognition. He scratches her behind her ears, looking up occasionally at me as if he wants to say something poignant. He appears hesitant though, distracted.

"So, why are you out here this late at night?"

Sublime whines when he straightens up to speak to my face. "No reason. Just thinking."

"About?" I press on, the brave, fearless warrior woman that I am.

"Stuff," he replies cryptically. What a nondescript bugger. As if he could be any vaguer.

"Like?"

"_Stuff_."

"_Like?_"

"_Stuff_!"

"_Which is like what_?"

"Like stuff! Stuff, stuff, stuff!" he shouts, exasperated. Obviously he's been doing some tough thinking that's got him riled up; he wouldn't dare to shout at his best friend's girl on a normal occasion. I mean really, isn't the man at least a little fearful of being clocked over the head with a Stingray?

"Like Ritsu?"

"Maybe. I mean, no. _No_. At least not in the way you think!"

"What do I think?" I inquire sweetly. I know exactly what I think, owning the majority of my tyrannical mind, but I'd like to hear his opinion.

"You think I _like_ her. Like, _like like _her."

"Do you?"

"No. She's a crazy bitch." I narrow my eyes to stifle a laugh that threatens to take over my entire face. He takes it as a show of anger. "Uh, I mean, well, no offence, but she's _insane _and she _hates_ me. She told me so. Multiple times."

"So then why did she trust you today?" I ask him next. This is turning into a regular interrogation session. And the suspect is slowly cracking. Damn woman, you can really bust a nut. Sorry, just couldn't resist that one.

Chiba shakes his bushy afro back and forth. "Because I gave her pizza. And then she slathered me with a piece when we were climbing down!"

"A sign of affection."

He was sceptical to my hasty claim, but nonetheless he asked, "Really?"

"Yep. She likes you if she's willing to share her pizza with you. That's how you know."

That probably wasn't the intention behind the action, but I liked to twist things for my own amusement. Chiba looked deep in thought, his lips pursed under that ungainly beard of his. If he didn't shave it off soon, people might start mistaking him for the sasquatch. That elusive, bigfooted beast said to roam the many acres of America; he and Chiba have lots in common physically. Aw well, if we run out of cash before the tour is over, we can always send in a picture of Chiba's face to the local news company and see if they'll pay us for a rare sighting of the beast. It could work, if only we–

"Rylie?"

"Huh? What were you saying, darling?"

Chiba sighs, informing me that I had been in my own little world for the larger part of whatever he'd been trying to tell me. "I was just wondering something. Now this is completely hypothetical…or something…no, this is out of curiosity…but I was just wondering if she has a boyfriend back home."

I freeze, my arm going limp. I actually drop Sublime's leash on the ground. Luckily for me, the dog either hasn't been paying attention to her restraints or has decided not to be the devil's spawn, Cerberus, today. Either way, she doesn't take advantage of her new freedom. For once.

Slowly I turn away, letting a grin plaster my face. There was no way in hell that was an 'out of curiosity' question. "Well, she used to have a boyfriend a long time ago, believe it or not. But they had a bad break up and she hasn't been seeing anyone since that fateful night."

His name had been Takumi and his unfortunate castration was the direct combination of his asshole-ishness and the consumption of alcohol on the part of my dear friend Ritsu. It might have also had something to do with the fact that he broke two of her cymbals and then lied to her about it. But I didn't tell him all there was to know, because it tended to scare men off.

"So. She's single then?"

"Yes. Yes she is."

He nodded to himself dumbly, then walked off in the direction of the hotel entrance while I gathered up Sublime's leash. Not even a word of farewell, the man was so damn lost in thought. Is this what it looks like when a person is lost in love?

That's certainly my devious nature speaking. No, Chiba was simply having a drunk moment or something. He had ingested a few beers earlier. Yeah. That was it. Then again, he wasn't staggering around or slurring his speech. Not like Ryusuke had been.

Oh God. What have I done?

As I walk back inside I look for the person at the front desk. She has mysteriously disappeared, so I walk behind the counter and grab the phone while Sublime slobbers on some paperwork someone left too low to the ground. Then I dial Taira's room, hoping to catch him before Chiba gets up there.

He picks up on the second ring. "Hello?" His voice is groggy, which makes sense considering I must have woken him up from a peaceful slumber. I have a good reason though, so I don't feel _too _guilty.

However, I can't resist teasing him. "This is God. You called earlier?"

There's a pause where all I can hear is heavy breathing. Which sounds creepy, but I'm willing to bet he's wrapped himself up in blankets so tightly that he nearly suffocated himself while asleep. Yes, I know this. It came up once in a conversation I had with Ryusuke, oddly enough.

"God? Is that really you?"

I fight to deepen my voice. "Yes. Who did you think it was this late at night?"

"…The Pizza Lady. Or the suicide control hotline inquiring after my friend." He sounds genuinely worried, poor fellow.

I let out an involuntary snort of laughter. He catches on, since my high-pitched giggle can't be emulated by anyone. Not even God.

"Rylie? What are you doing calling this la–"

"Your best friend is in love. I witnessed it with my own eyes. Beware."

"Chiba?" He's sceptical, and rightfully so. But I don't make claims like this every day, and certainly never ones about the bush-headed man himself. "You must be joking. Rylie, Chiba has a lot of love to give, but I can't really see him suddenly becoming interested in…you know what, never mind. I can kind of see it. If I squint and make my eyes like Saku's."

"Just beware, okay?" I ask of him. He grunts in response. Definitely sleepy. Hearing him stifle a yawn on the other end brings one out of my lips. Okay, it's certainly time to get some shut-eye. "Well, love ya, miss ya, and I might break into your room to kiss ya."

"…Was that supposed to rhyme?"

"Shut up and go to bed. God commands thee."

He snickers and hangs up, so I replace the phone on its receiver and pull Sublime out of a nearby trash can, then head up to my room. Once safely locked inside, I let the dog off the leash and head over to check on Ritsu. To make sure she's breathing, of course.

When I approach _my_ bed, I'm taken by an unexpected sight. Not one, but _two _goddamn bodies are snuggled under _my_ blankets. Now I know exactly how Little Bear felt when he found Goldilocks in his bed. Awkward as fuck.

As I continue watching the lumps breathe, one draped half over the other, I become aware of the phone ringing. Not wanting to disturb the two sleeping people in my bed, I rush over to the phone, nearly tripping over Sublime who has settled down for the night, unaware that everything isn't normal and she should be fearing for her life.

"Hello?" I whisper.

Taira's voice comes through, prompting me to breathe a little easier. "Where's Chiba? I thought you said he was coming up?"

"Yeah, well, you wouldn't believe this but he's in my room, snuggled up beside Ritsu on _my _bed." Sublime finally lifts her head off the ground, looking at me like I'm some stupid alien, all hunched up in a corner and looking perturbed. Well, I wasn't exactly going to stay out in the open, just in case they woke up and thrashed the first thing within a close proximity to their being. I'm paranoid.

"What?" Taira is far more awake than he was during our last conversation. "Oh jeez, he must have mistaken your room for ours. We have the same last two digits for a room number, but ours is a floor up. Is Ritsu trying to kill him? Should I come up there and intervene?"

"…Oddly enough, they're both sleeping, but she was on her own bed when I left…she must have moved over. I wonder if she even knows she's snuggling up to him?"

"They're _snuggling_?"

"I think it's one-sided. But yes. They are." Suddenly a rather devious thought entered my head. Oh, sometimes I'm just _bad _with a capitol BAD. "You know what? This is perfect. This is just what both of them need. Let me just lay some further groundwork and I'll be up to see you, Taira. Since there's no way in hell that I'm sticking around when they wake up in each others' arms."

"Rylie, my band can't run on four people like yours can."

"Oh don't worry Taira; I'm sure Chiba can protect his nuts."

* * *

**A.N.:** Okay, so I was originally going to scrap the entire second half of this chapter, but then I was like 'screw it' and kept writing, so the chapter turned into an abomination in which two people ended up in bed together, likely unaware of who the other person beside them is, or even if they're there at all (in Chiba's case). Oh well, gives me fodder for the next chapter.

I still feel bad for traumatizing Pizza Lady, no matter how many times I read this over. And just for your amusement, I thought about naming this chapter 'Tacos and Testicles,' but I abstained from that one because I didn't want to end up as spam in your inboxes. Okay, I'm done rambling for today.

~Reiki


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